Part-Time Job

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A new look at job satisfaction.
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Sonya and Gil had been married nine years. Though Gil didn't seem to care, Sonya knew their marriage had serious problems which contributed to her growing depression. Additionally, she had a job that offered no personal fulfillment; but it help toward paying the mounting bills. She had excellent typing and computer skills, but jobs were sparse in the small mid-western town. The only work she could find was part-time employment at a telemarketing company. Sonya was glad she no longer had to make annoying phone calls into people's homes trying to sell useless products. Her recent promotion to the data entry department made life a little better for her.

Gil was an apartment complex maintenance man. He also took odd electrical and plumbing jobs to bring extra income. He hated his job and often spoke of retiring. Unfortunately, he did nothing whatever to reach that goal. He was lax about everything, especially work. He just couldn't seem to focus on tasks for any length of time and would frequently quit good jobs without notice.

A year and a half was the longest he'd kept the same job since their marriage. He would usually quit a job after three months or less. If a co-worker spoke harshly to him, he'd quit. If he were reprimanded for any reason, even if it was his fault, he'd quit. If the pay or hours weren't what he wanted (even though he initially agreed to them), he'd quit. If he had car trouble or became tired of the drive to the job, he'd quit. If he simply became bored with the work, he'd quit. If a new manager or supervisor came, he'd quit. If management didn't constantly praise him, he'd quit. It was always the same. He'd start off so excited about a new job and the potential for advancement it offered, then for no logical reason, Gil would become restless and just abandon needed employment with no other job to replace the last.

Gil, a fairly unappealing, overweight, light-skinned African American man of 45, just didn't like working. He was never really satisfied with anything. He had a lot of wants, but did little toward accomplishing any of them. He would even discourage Sonya from pursuing any of her dreams like singing, drawing and poetry writing. It was as if he made up his mind that he wasn't going to achieve anything and didn't want her to either.

The relationship had passed the "seven-year itch" stage and Gil had "scratched" on more than one occasion that Sonya knew about. He was unfaithful and dishonest in just about everything. That made the marriage nearly intolerable for his wife who had taken to drinking for a while. She soon found that other forms of self-medication were better able to dull her senses from the mental pain caused by Gil's cheating, disrespect, lack of ambition and irresponsibility in personal and business matters.

Though they had never discussed a legal divorce, Sonya had emotionally divested from the liaison over the years and had begun to welcome any time they were physically apart. She desperately wanted to love him and look up to him as her honorable protector and provider, but every time she became soft-hearted and vulnerable, she would remember his infidelity or he would do or say something so hurtful or so infantile that she'd run back into her psychological shell. Closing off emotionally went against her pre-marriage personality of openness and warmth but Sonya began to condition herself to feel less and less after years of disappointment with life and especially with Gil.

Every single day of the past year she thought about leaving him but feared how life would be as a single older woman with physical drawbacks. She was a rather unattractive 40-year old woman who was also about 40 pounds overweight and badly in need of dental work. Plus, she had no support system as for family or friends and seriously lacked confidence in her ability to make it alone.

She often pictured ways to be free of her menacing spouse. She'd see herself just walking out the door with no warning. She imagined burning the apartment down or blowing up the car with both of them in it. Sonya really didn't want to hurt anyone; she just wanted a better life and didn't know how to get it. So she just stayed in the beat-up, emotionless relationship and tried to cope by not caring about too much of anything.

Sometimes she'd overeat and sometimes she'd regurgitate her food on purpose. All of it, the drinking, the abuse of over-the-counter meds, the homicidal and suicidal thoughts and the binging and purging, was a pathetically unheard cry for help. It was a silent scream that even a deaf man could have heard, but Gil never noticed Sonya's pain. As long as he got what he wanted, he really didn't care how she felt.

Communication between the couple was one-sided. Whenever Sonya tried to talk to Gil about her feelings or problems or changes that would help the relationship, Gil would fall asleep, begin fidgeting with something or just plain ignore her. When Gil spoke, however, he insisted on Sonya's complete attention and would become irate if he didn't get it. He would chatter on and on about what he wanted to accomplish, what he wanted to own and places he wanted to go.

At first, Sonya believed him. She thought he really had desires to build together and move up, but after years of seeing a pattern—-a habit of destructive behavior (pathological lying, infidelity, overeating, drinking alcohol excessively, missing work to visit amusement parks or other women or just to lay around the house, constant complaining and quitting jobs altogether), she learned to recognize his words as nothing more than unproductive ramblings. Over time, she began forcing herself to quietly suffer through his verbal daydreams. If she didn't appear to listen to him and agree with him, there was hell to pay one way or the other.

She had come to acknowledge to herself that she had married a person who just wasn't going anywhere but down. Sonya finally stopped trying to hold them both up and just tried to keep herself afloat which wasn't easy with the enemy right in the camp. She finally saw Gil as the enemy of her growth and freedom. He had in many ways become her jailer and though her cell door was open, she feared the world "outside" more than her existing captivity.

Lately, she had noticed that after being constantly badgered for sex over the years, the requests abruptly stopped. She didn't think much of it at first because she didn't enjoy sex with Gil. For her, there was no desire for physical intimacy. Even so, after months of him showing no interest in her physically she began to wonder if he had become serious about one of the women with whom he dated. Still, Sonya said nothing.

Whenever she had the rare urge, she used her trusted vibrator. She preferred it to sex with Gil for several reasons: she could control her own pleasure, it didn't leave any messes, she didn't feel abandoned or disappointed afterward and she didn't have to worry about getting an STD from it.

Gil was taking in more odd "jobs" than usual and became even more distant and demanding than he had been. Late one night, he came home in a foul mood. "Sonya!" he yelled, "What does a man have to do to get a home-cooked meal around here?!"

Sonya wasn't expecting this since he normally checked the refrigerator or stove for his meals when he didn't eat out. She never knew when he was coming home and just kept a meal ready in an effort to keep Gil from complaining. He loved to grumble, nag and lecture others but hated for anyone to correct him.

"There's food in the stove," Sonya casually said from the bedroom.

"Would you get it for me, or do I have to do everything for this household!", Gil shot back with indignation in his voice.

Sonya had been in bed thumbing through a magazine. She had started to doze off to sleep when she heard Gil come in the house. She got up and groggily went into the living room quietly knowing that if she said anything, he would use it as an opportunity to start a fight. All the years of senseless arguments had taught Sonya to spot the early signs of Gil's underlying rage.

She mechanically moved into the kitchen, washed her hands and preceded to serve Gil baked chicken, rice, broccoli, slices of tomato and iced tea. He didn't say so much as, "thank you, dog." He just started chomping and smacking greedily as if he'd not eaten for days. Sonya went back into the bedroom hoping the remainder of the night would pass without incident. After a time, she drifted off to sleep.

Gil lingered in the living room. He started playing a computer game to try to take his mind off the events of that evening. But it was no use; he kept seeing it over and over in his head. He heard the muffled cries of the helpless woman as the man brutally forced his way into her delicate body. He knew the man was himself, but was still surprised that he actually went through with the deed.

Her name was Penny. She was a 32-year-old single dental tech. She lived with her boyfriend who was often out with his buddies. Gil met Penny months prior when he was called to do some electrical work at her ranch-style home in the suburbs. She was very attractive but extremely talkative. She told how she was planning to go back to college for her master's degree after she earned enough to pay for the courses and books. She prated on about how her boyfriend spent a lot of time playing basketball with his friends and how her girlfriends were now married with families and were and too busy to hang out the way they once did. She talked and talked until Gil completed the job.

He thought she might have been flirting with him, but he showed little interest because he figured she would reject him. Even so, he wanted her. He wanted to take what her boyfriend obviously was not appreciating. He wanted to fill her constantly moving mouth. He wanted to make her pay for being so beautiful ...for being so tempting ...for being a female.

Gil had cased Penny's house for weeks noting times she worked and how often she was alone. He even discovered the "hidden" house key near a bush by the front door that her boyfriend sometimes used. With that, getting in was no problem. Penny heard the sound of the door opening and assumed it was her boyfriend. She just rolled over in bed and waited for him to climb in next to her. When that didn't happen, she reached for the night lamp near the bed to see where he was. The panic on her face when she saw the strange masked man standing over her was like something from a horror movie. She began to shriek but Gil was ready for her. He put a gloved hand tightly around her neck while stuffing a rag in her mouth. He used his body weight to stifle her movements as he swiftly cuffed her hands together and to the bedpost.

She was in a state of panic as Gil worked like a professional thief securing his prey. Once he had completely immobilized his victim, he wasted no time in removing the oversized T-shirt she wore to bed. He ripped it from her body exposing her small, big-nippled breasts and hairless vagina. He quickly grabbed a condom from his pocket, put it on and savagely plunged into Penny's moist body.

Her struggles to free herself and screams for help brought him excitement and pleasure as Gil continued to mercilessly batter the young woman's feminine parts. He was determined not to ejaculate until he had totally degraded and exhausted her. After a while, he removed his rubber-covered penis from her vagina and attempted to drive it into her anus. Penny began bucking violently to dislodge the unwelcome intruder from her sore bottom. Tears streamed down the sides of her face as Gil pushed and pulled the head of his penis in and out of her anus. It was the most excruciating pain Penny had ever known. It was the most exhilarating pleasure Gil had ever known. Unlike the way he believed it had been for years with his wife Sonya, Gil was finally getting a reaction during sex. He could put his penis where he wanted and be as vicious as he liked. He loved it.

Never saying a word, Gil continued to wrestle with the stubborn anal passage. He spat on his hand for lubrication and wiped the opening. Relentlessly attacking the girl's hole made it finally give way. Her anus split open and began to bleed. Penny thrashed in a fit of misery and anguish which sent a rush of powerful satisfaction through Gil causing him to explode.

The condom contained his sperm and he carefully removed and placed it in his jacket pocket. He knew a little about DNA samples and was careful with everything. He looked down at the sobbing woman with disgust. "She really wanted it," he thought to himself as he prepared to leave.

He looked around the room for her purse and found it on a black mirrored dresser. He tossed the contents of the purse onto the floor and dove for the wallet. Finding only $40 annoyed him a little but that wasn't what he really came for. He saw jewelry and electronic equipment but didn't want to take chances trying to pawn anything.

Gil quickly removed the cuffs and ties he had brought and replaced them with stockings and sheets that were already in her house. This was done to keep the pitiful woman from screaming or leaving and to make sure he left nothing that could be traced back to him. Looking at her gagged and bound body made him feel dominant. For a minute he studied her as if critiquing artwork. He seemed contented that he had made someone surrender to him. Then, just as quietly and quickly as he entered the house, he left. The woman lay naked, sobbing and bound on the bed.

Her boyfriend found her hours later. Somewhere in his mind he believed his girlfriend had not really been a victim at all but just had a kinky date that went bad. He persuaded her not to report the incident telling her it would only bring shame on them both and that the perpetrator would never be caught anyway. He offered no emotional support. Weeks later, he broke off the relationship altogether.

On the way back home, Gil made a point to drop the used condom in a service station trashcan. Purchasing gas, cleaning his car windows and emptying out trash from his car made disposing of the condom unnoticeable. He drove the twenty miles back as crunk music blared from the car speakers. Though he usually did not listen to that type of music, he wanted to drown out the mental images of what he'd just done. Hearing the youngsters spout profanities that degraded women was just the thing he needed to ease any guilt he might have had.

Once home, with a full belly and having sufficiently entertained himself, Gil finally got up from the computer game and went to bed. He lay right next to his wife. He didn't shower or even change clothes. He just went to sleep feeling vindicated. "Good for them all," he thought. He had made Sonya pay for rejecting him all those years. He made that jabber-mouth girl, Penny, pay for flirting with him knowing she would have rejected him if he had pursued her. They both got what they deserved. "I just did what I had to do," he told himself.

The next day Sonya was up and preparing for work. She noticed Gil was still in bed and thought to wake him but changed her mind. She was tired of pulling him. She knew the household badly needed the money, but she just couldn't beg him to grow up any more. Trying to encourage, beg and force him proved fruitless and had zapped her energy over the years. Plus, it usually did nothing more than add fuel to a smoldering fire. If he got canned, so be it, she decided. Sonya was sick of companies allowing Gil to get away with lateness and absences. They were really to blame, at least in part, for his laziness and irresponsibility. If they were just to enforce their own "no call, no show, no job" rule, he would quit thinking he could get away with doing whatever he wanted. If she was an enabler in the home relationship by not leaving him, as TV talk show hosts often said of women in marriages like hers, the companies who employed Gil were the enablers in the work world by not firing him.

Seeing Gil in bed when he should have already been at work brought up Sonya's fears and doubts about the whole relationship. That made it more difficult for her to get moving. As she started out the door, the phone rang. She figured it would be Gil's job calling. She just let the answering machine pick up as she listened. "Hi, Gil. This is Julie. Where are you? Give me a call, okay, Hon", slurred the high-pitched voice as his supervisor begged a grown man to come to work.

"That's just great," Sonya mumbled. "I've got to kiss tail just to hold on to my little piece of a low-paying job and had better not be late and he's got his boss calling him when he's late time after time." She drug herself out of the house and into the car. As she sat there waiting for the engine to warm, she wondered again what would happen to her if she just drove right past her crummy, thankless job and into another city... maybe even another state and tried to make a new start. Could she make it alone? Looking into the rearview mirror, she saw an aging woman staring back at her. She seemed to be saying, "Who are you kidding? This world will eat you alive ...will swallow you whole... Don't rock the boat or you just might drown." Sonya felt herself sinking just a little bit deeper as she moved the car in reverse out of the parking space and headed to work.

Gil began to stir around noon. He checked the answering machine. Hearing his supervisor's pleading voice made him feel important. "They just can't do anything without me," he smirked. He didn't bother to return her call. He just casually showered, dressed, ate, played a quick computer game then left the house for work. He heard the crunk music playing on the car radio and wondered how the radio got to that "kiddy station" as he sometimes called it. He didn't care too much for pop music and promptly changed the station to the one that played a variety of oldies. Just for a moment his thoughts flashed back to Penny. He reasoned, "I really did her a favor. She wanted some company and I gave it to her. Maybe she won't talk so much now. Besides, I gave her a real master's degree and her education only cost $40—and a little pain!" Gil smiled at himself with sheer pride then laughed aloud.

The next two weeks went without incident. Sonya continued to mull over her feelings of wanting to leave Gil and he continued doing just about whatever he wanted. But he was becoming increasingly restless and edgy. He didn't really know what was wrong so he started complaining about his job being boring, his back and legs hurting, not having enough variety in the meals his wife prepared, the house not being as clean as he'd like it, not having "a real marriage", wanting land and a pet and anything else he could gripe about. He really wanted an argument.

With no warning, he started kissing Sonya with full, open-mouthed wet kisses as she reclined on the sofa one day. He tasted like stale pretzels and smelled like month-old garlic bread. His fat, callous-laden hands roughly groped her breasts. The course rubbing of his prickly beard against her soft brown skin sent chalk-board scratching irritations through her. Sonya wanted to grind her fingernails into Gil's flesh. She had come to hate his touch. Luckily Gil was bored after a couple minutes. He broke the embrace and walked out of the apartment without a word.

Sonya clutched herself in comfort. She refused to shed any tears though she desperately wanted to cry. "Take this would-be watery pain", she instructed herself, "and let it be as ice. Frozen water doesn't drip and can't be penetrated. You've got to toughen up or this pig will destroy you." Sonya then mustered enough strength to shower and lie down in bed. She was glad she didn't have to go anywhere for the next three days. She just wanted to be alone.

Gil didn't want to be alone. He was on the prowl as he drove around aimlessly. What he wanted was to see a woman suffer the way he felt they caused him to go through so much. He drove about fifty miles toward a larger town and wound up at a topless girly bar.

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