Patience

Their lovemaking was slow and gentle. Rose sank slowly to the bed as the orgasms played over her. Rafe held her as she curled up next to him. As she started to relax, he reached over and touched her and brought her to orgasm again until a smile played over her face. Then they curled up and went to sleep.

Rose woke up the next morning to find that Rafe had turned off the alarm, tucked the covers around her to let her sleep. She appreciated the extra sleep and quiet time. This week had been rough emotionally. She'd spent more time crying than she had in years. Four years to be exact.

After all this time, she thought that her defenses were strong enough. That she could cope with walking into the library. Wrong. Her ex was an ass, and could push her buttons faster than she could blink. He'd pulled one of his old tricks. Waited for her to walk past and then hollered at her because she had forgotten to say goodbye. He had corrected her like she was a three year old who'd broken a rule. Didn't matter that she'd already said her goodbyes. He had to pull a trick that he knew would upset her.

Rose had done fine the rest of the evening. As they were heading to bed, Rafe got a phone call. Instead of falling asleep, Rose lay there thinking. Then she started worrying. Money was a big one as she was out of work at the moment. Depending on others for the roof over her head or the food on the table brought up bad memories of life with the ex. He'd made her feel guilty for asking for anything. Heaven help her if she made noises about getting a job. On top of that, he yelled and bitched at her for not spending money wisely. It was his expenditures that blew the budget, not her shopping. Not that it mattered. No matter what she did, it was always her fault.

By the time that Rafe came to bed, Rose was awake, but way too quiet. He crawled in and snuggled in close. She was ice cold. "Rose, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I just can't get warm," she said quietly.

"I can tell that. Why"

"I... I just can't."

Rafe moved so that he had more of his body in contact with Rose and held her close. "Okay, so you're cold. What else is bothering you?"

"Noth..." she started to say, when Rafe hugged her tighter to let her know he didn't believe her. "I'm worried about money, and," she trailed off again.

"Rose, money isn't the big problem is it?" he asked softly.

"No, it's just... dammit, I'm so tired of him being able to push my buttons even after all this time."

"Sweetie, he had lots of years of practice. You've only had four years away from him. It will take awhile," he said softly. Rose moved in his arms. He thought for a moment that she had nodded in agreement. A moment later, she was sobbing quietly in his arms. "Rose, it's okay. Sweetie, relax," he said hoping that she could stop. Otherwise, she'd cry herself out and right into a headache. All Rafe could do is hold her. Rafe took a deep breath and tried to relax. This would take a little time.

*

Rose's ex was a piece of work. He had a good public face, and was the kind of person everyone liked. However, at home he was a mentally abusive controlling ass with a temper. He'd never hit Rose, but the kind of bruises he left didn't show. Rose was a strong, intelligent woman. Great cook, intellectual, and one hell of an organizer. However, she did her best when Rafe had first met her, to disappear into the background. Curvy, flirty and those eyes. Yet she wore clothes that hid her shape. She might as well have been wearing a table cloth.

Moving had been necessary. Rafe's ex-wife, another piece of work, literally drove him out of the state. He'd moved out this way on the recommendation of a co-worker. Rafe went looking for a house to rent.

He had been looking at a house two doors down and was walking back to the hotel when he saw a woman trying to haul water up a staircase. He'd offered to help and the first two times she'd said no. He took a look at the stairs and the water and just took the five gallon jug from her. After he set it down in the kitchen, they started to talk. Well, started to talk once she stopped apologizing for the state of the place, why she was hauling water and about ten other things. Her family had owned the house and previous renters had torn it up. Rafe waited and when she finally stopped for a moment, he introduced himself.

"Hi, Let's start over. My name is Rafe," he said holding out his hand.

She wiped her muddy hands on her baggy jeans and took his hand. "Hi, I'm Rose Davis," she said and looked up to his face for the first time.

Rafe looked into her eyes and felt like someone had just taken his breath away. Deep blue rings around pale blue irises. He'd meant to just introduce himself and leave, but then his mouth opened up. "I'm looking for a place to live, and if we could cut a deal with construction work for part of the rent, I'd be glad to help you," he said.

Rose was floored. She never expected to rent the place, let alone get someone to help her with the work. "I,... um... there isn't any internal plumbing and I,... um... I live in the guest house out back," she finally said.

Twenty minutes later, Rafe understood that she had just left her husband and was doing her best to survive on part time work and whatever money her family could send her way. Living in the guest house was the best she could do while trying to fix up the main house. They made a deal and Rafe grabbed his stuff out of the hotel and was clearing out a corner of a bedroom to live in that night. The house itself wasn't in bad shape, it just had no heating or plumbing. Rose's guest house had a potbellied stove which kept her warm and she cooked soup and noodles on it. The rest of the house would need more work.

Rafe had found a part time job which left him free to work on computers and the house. The front of the house turned into his office and a computer repair shop. Rose continued to live in the guest house and worked wherever she could.

One afternoon, Rafe was up to his eyeballs in computers, drying paint and phone calls. Rose walked in and he could tell from the look on her face that something had happened. She walked straight through the office, didn't say a word and started to make a cup of tea.

Rafe came up behind her to ask if there was anything he could do. He never got a word said, because she turned at the sound of his steps and tried to exit the kitchen. There were tears silently streaming down her face. He wrapped his arms around her and she curled into his arms. Her head fit right under his chin. She stopped crying a few moments later and Rafe tilted her face up towards his.

"Okay, what happened?" he asked.

"My job finished, and when I went to cash my paycheck, I ran into my ex," she said.

"Okay, it was a temp job, so..."

"So he had to rub it in my face that maybe I should stop playing house and come back where I belong. All with that tone that said I was some kind of slut and irresponsible child all at the same time," she said as she pulled herself out of his arms and turned back to making tea.

Rafe thought about what she said for a moment because something didn't add up. "Rose, what is this about playing house and you being a slut?" he asked as it had finally dawned on him what didn't sound right.

"According to my ex, I am 'playing house' with you. So, therefore I am a slut or some sort of sexual deviant who can't keep her hands to herself," she said with disgust. She stirred the creamer into the tea and handed him a cup. She then sat down at the kitchen table.

Rafe sat down with his cup. "Um, Rose, you and I don't have a relationship."

"I KNOW that!" she said and put her cup down hard enough to slosh tea over the side.

"So, why should he care what you do with your life?" he asked.

"Because there isn't any final paperwork between us yet, he figures that he can make me come back to him. So, he plays stupid games and dumb tricks to upset me. Hopes that it will make me want to come back. It took me long enough to understand just what an ass he was and there is no way I'm going back," she finished.

Rafe just nodded. They'd talked one night about why she had left her marriage. It hadn't made Rafe like the guy one bit. This latest bit of information hadn't made his decision to stay out of a relationship for a while easy. Rafe found Rose attractive. Those eyes. Plus, she had a sharp wit and intellect that enticed him. He liked women with 'spark'. That little voice inside his head was chattering ninety miles an hour, and he was beginning to listen.

"Rose, Would he act any different if you were having a relationship with someone?" he asked quietly.

Rose blinked. He swore he could hear the gears grind as she thought about what he'd asked. She took a sip of tea and then set the cup back down. "Rafe, I don't know. I haven't been with anyone since I left him," she said.

Rafe nodded, and thought for a moment. "Do you care how he'd react?" he asked.

Rose thought for a moment and then replied. "You know, I don't. I've already been damned, I might as well enjoy myself," she said.

Rafe smiled. "Rose, would you like to go to dinner with me?" he asked.

"Yes." she said.

*

Rafe took it slow. As much for Rose as for himself. They went to dinner at the local diner. Nothing fancy, but it was not ramen noodles cooked on a potbellied stove. They talked and ate and got to know each other a bit more. He'd learned that she actually owned an old laptop that she used for classes and writing. Rafe mentally kicked himself for thinking she was a Luddite. Rose learned he'd been in the military and that they liked the same kind of music.

They walked home after dinner and he escorted her to the door of the guest house. "Good night Rose," he said.

"Good night. Thanks for dinner. That and the talk really helped," she said as she looked up at him.

Rafe looked at her face and then bent to kiss her. She held still for a second and then slowly returned the kiss. His arms went around her and he held her close while they kissed. After a moment, she broke off the kiss.

"I need to..." and then turned into the guest house leaving Rafe on the step.

Rafe went back to the main house. He realized that she was more nervous about this than he was. The kiss had made him want to carry her inside and... No, he had to slow down. If this was going to work at all, he had to take his time. As much for him as for her. It took a long time for him to fall asleep.

The next morning, she was up early doing laundry with the machine out on the back porch. She ran the water into the garden which he thought was odd at first, but it made sense. The noise of the washer had woken him up. Rafe got up and dressed. He just had repair work today, but yesterdays phone calls had delayed him. He wasn't sure how he was going to juggle all the work he was getting. Rafe sat down with his cup of tea and had just started reading the comics on his computer when Rose came in the room.

"Rafe, would you mind if I went though your books?" she asked.

"No, why?"

"Well, to be honest, I'm bored. I have cleaned the guest house, done my laundry, worked in the yard and I have nothing to do on the house until we have a bit more income," she said.

Rafe nodded. They were about to start the plumbing and were shy the tiles for the shower. Neither one of them wanted to get half finished, so they had agreed to wait. Right now there was water in the bathroom if you didn't mind an on/off valve and a bucket. At least there was no more stair climbing with a five gallon jug. "Have at the shelves. I got some new books from the used bookstore last week."

"Okay, thanks," she said and with that started looking through the shelves. After a minute, she pulled one down and then curled up in the chair her sister had given her a few weeks earlier.

Rafe got started with the repairs and then the phone rang. He took care of the call, went back to the computer he'd been working on and just got the transfer going when the phone rang. He growled as he went to answer it. That call took thirty minutes. Returning to the computer, he was working on the transfer that had failed when the phone rang again. He turned to answer it when it stopped ringing.

"Rafael's Computers, how can I help you? No, Rafe is occupied at the moment, can I take a message? Oh. No problem. Have you checked out your temporary Internet files? Ah. Empty those, your trash and then reboot. If that doesn't work, give us a call back and I'll set up an appointment. Oh, no problem. Thanks for calling, Mrs. Meyers," she said and hung up. Turning to find a notepad to write on, she saw Rafe's face. He sat there with his mouth open.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

"No. No you didn't. That was wonderful."

"Well, I couldn't let it go on ringing and interrupting you. I wasn't sure whether to laugh with all the cussing just prior to you being so polite on the phone or be irritated that I couldn't concentrate on my book," she said.

Rafe laughed. "Rose, would you like a job? It doesn't pay much, but it would really help me out. I think I need a receptionist, first level tech and someone to keep me in line," he said.

It was Rose's turn to laugh. "I don't know a damn thing about computers!"

"Wrong! You just did tech support at the drop of a hat on the phone. What you don't know, I can teach you," he said. Just what else did this woman know he wondered. Then he saw the book she had in her hand. The Prince, by Machiavelli. Oh god, what was he getting himself into?

"I just told her to do what I always got yelled at for when she said the computer was slow. That wasn't anything special."

"Who yelled at you when you asked computer questions?" Rafe asked even though he had an idea of who it was.

"My ex. Remember, I'm just a housewife with no clue even though I think my IQ tested out at 180 or 190 when I was twelve," she said with a bite to her voice.

"Ouch. Point taken. Rose, you are hired. What you don't know, ask. You can use that desk there, just put the stuff in a box. Oh, and bring your computer in here. I want to see this ancient chunk of plastic," he said as he pointed to the spare desk he'd bought last week.

"Okay," she said. Rose put the book down and started clearing a space. She answered the phone eight times before she got it all set up the way she wanted and then went to get the laptop. It was nearly dinner time, so she grabbed her ramen noodles and brought them inside. She couldn't afford to take them out, but she could cook. Hopefully the ancient electric stove would play nice. Putting the water on to boil, she brought her laptop out and put it on her new desk and then walked back to the kitchen.

Rafe looked over as he heard the thump of plastic against wood. He tried not to cringe, thinking about how the rough handling could damage a computer. Looking over to Rose's desk, he blinked. There on the desk was a CF 50 Panasonic Tough Book. She'd done it again. Where had she found that treasure he wondered.

*

Over dinner which consisted of ramen noodles with home made pad Thai peanut sauce and veggies, Rafe learned that a friend of hers had given her the laptop when her ex had broken her desktop computer. Worse yet, the idiot had felt no need to do anything because apparently Rose was just goofing around on the computer and not really doing anything.

"I was furious. As far as he was concerned it didn't matter if all my stuff was lost. Lucky for me, one of my sons salvaged my data and put it on the computer," she said.

"You know, I'm surprised you let him live. I wouldn't have."

"Well,..." she started.

"I'm amazed that he didn't think he needed to teach you anything either when it came to the computer."

"Oh no, if he did that, it meant that I'd be able to do things by myself. To teach me would mean a lost of control. He is all about control," Rose said.

"On everything?" Rafe asked.

"Oh yeah. Household spending, the kids, computers, sex, groceries, laundry, taxes, the whole damn thing," she said as she cleared the table.

"But I thought you said you did all the work around the house and dealt with the bills and the kids," Rafe said rather confused.

"I did. When things went wrong though, it was all my fault for not following his plan or idea or directions." Her voice took on a bitter tone as she started doing the dishes.

"Oh. Rose, what made you decide that you couldn't stay with him any longer?" Rafe asked hoping that it wasn't too raw of a subject. He still didn't know her well.

"I had five friends within the space of about a month all try to tell me what a mentally abusive asshole my ex was. I didn't want to believe them. I knew he wasn't perfect, but I'd lived with him all those years, and in some ways I was use to life like that. Then I decided to talk to him about his temper. He's always been a bit over the top that way. So, I asked him if he'd work on curbing his temper. He yelled and screamed at me so loudly the windows shook. I'd had enough and walked out of the room. He slammed the door so hard he broke the frame and dislocated his shoulder. That was when I knew I had to leave," she said.

Rafe realized he was clenching his fists. "How long ago did this happen?"

"About two years ago. I had to wait until my youngest was eighteen," she said.

"Oh. Okay," Rafe nodded. He was still trying to get over the idea that Rose had children, let alone old enough to be a grandma. She didn't look like it.

"He still thinks I'll come back. Don't know why, as I've lived over here for nearly a year, but he lives on that river in Egypt, you know it, the DeNial?" she said with a smile on her face.

Rafe laughed. "Yeah. I know that one. Just fished in it once or twice."

Rose laughed and grabbed her book and started to head out the back door.

"Rose, thanks for dinner," Rafe said as he walked towards Rose.

"You're welcome. It wasn't anything special."

"Thanks for all your help today too. You saved my sanity," he said and gave her a hug, then a kiss.

Rose was a bit startled by the affection. She'd been nervous about the kiss the other night, even though it had been wonderful. She had just shut herself down so tight in order not to feel, that she wasn't sure what to think. She hugged him back. It felt so good to touch someone. Plus, Rafe smelled good.

She's hugging back! Rafe thought to himself. Rafe was surprised by Rose's response to his hug and kiss. Then again, he was surprised at his own behavior. He knew he was getting defensive earlier. No one should have to put up with the stuff she had.

They both realized that they had been standing there in each others arms for more than a friendly hug about the same time. Rose moved first.

"Sorry about that," she started to apologize.

"Stop."

Rose blinked.

"Stop apologizing. You didn't do anything wrong," Rafe said with a little more force than he meant to.

"But... " she started.

"Rose, how long has it been since you've had more than a hug from a friend or a kiss from one of your kids?" Rafe asked.

"Way too long," she said looking at the floor.

Rafe took her head in his hand and raised it to look her in the face. "You're starving aren't you?" he asked. "Emotionally starved that is," he corrected when he realized what he said was awkward.

"I'm fine."

"Rose, you are a terrible liar," Rafe said and took the book out of her hand and set it on the table. Then he took her in his arms and just held her. She stood stiffly at first as if trying to resist the hug. Then, she simply went limp against him, and her arms wrapped around his waist.

"Oh gods it has been a long time. I..." she mumbled against his shirt.

"It's okay Rose, We all need to be held. Especially when we've been through an emotional wringer like you have," he said. Rafe realized that they ought to sit down. "Rose, let's go sit down on the couch," he suggested.