Peak Sneak

Colin turned his face away from the wide windows where the six o'clock sun was shining. He saw Jillian, walking very upright, heading toward the exit door of the cafeteria. The sunlight made the dust and lint on her backside sparkle. He looked away quickly so as not to be caught ogling. After a moment, he looked in her direction again. She was opening the door with her back and seemed to be looking his way. He snapped his head away again and smiled.

The next day, Colin was in a group therapy session which Jillian was leading. He was excited to see her again, and he wondered if their eyes had actually met, and if they had, if she'd taken note of it. The group started with introductions. A younger boy in the corner kicked it off. "Hi, I'm Bruce, and I'm an alcoholic," he said.

"Hi, Bruce," the room responded. The girl to his right followed. "Hi, I'm Meagan, and I'm an addict and an alcoholic," she said flatly.

"Hi, Meagan." And so it continued.

Colin knew that when it was his turn to speak, Jillian would be looking at him. He hoped that when that happened he would be able to tell whether or not it was the first time. However, when they faced each other, Colin's heart hit hard and he couldn't tell a thing because he turned his eyes away from hers more quickly than he had the first time. "Hi, I'm Colin, and I'm an alcoholic," he said, looking at the floor between his feet. "Hi, Colin," said the chorus.

Jillian's position leading the group gave Colin license to study her as long as he wished, just as long as she was talking. Her hair was dark and it was so close to black against her ghostly fair skin that it made Colin wonder whether it was natural. It was thick and wavy and hung just above her shoulders. Her eyes were a bit far from each other, but not so far that one might use the fact to describe her. Her nose was slight and pretty, and her mouth was full and wide. She had teeth that looked as though they'd always been just straight enough not to be braced according to the judgement of a liberal minded parent. To Colin, in the gestalt, her face was very beautiful and painfully sexy. It might have been her looks alone that lead him there, or her pretty voice and graceful way, or the possibility that she'd put an eye on him, but at some point during that session, Colin found that he'd developed a gripping crush on the young woman.

The next time they met, Jillian had come across him while doing room checks. There was a knock on the door and Colin said come in. He rested the book he was reading on his belly and turned his head to see who was there. She became striped in the shadows of the half open blinds as she entered. He said hello, but his voice was softer and less masculine than he'd wished. "I'm just doing room checks," she explained, then walked up to his foot-end bedpost and put up her shoe. "Sorry," she said. "My laces are loose."

Her hair fell over the side of her face and shaded her eyes from Colin's view. He took advantage and admired what he could see of her body. Her legs looked athletic, and the wave-like curves than ran from the back of her thigh, over her bottom, and down through the small of her back would doubtless satisfy the standards of more than a few idealists. Though he was inspired to, Colin knew it would be too much to hit on her outright, but he let his gaze stay in her direction, and sat up in bed, assertively, just before she put her foot down. On her way to the door she put her hand lightly on his knee, looked him in the eyes, and said, "It's good that you're here," then walked out.

Later, when the sun was below the horizon, with the soft lamplight and the colors of dusk in the window, Colin noticed that he felt good for the first time since he'd arrived. The memories of her look and the touch of her hand warmed him.

Jillian's face and her body and the simple sweetness which Colin felt she carried not only deterred him from the temptations to return to his decadence but also provided for him a kind of intoxication which trumped the promise of all the most alluring poisons. While she couldn't be bought off a shelf, Colin hoped he still possessed some currency in character and looks worth enough for her to consider him as a partner, if only in the short term.

The next day, Colin was watching and listening to Jillian lecture about relapse prevention. She kept talking about "triggers." "What are some examples of triggers?" she asked.

"Certain places," answered a girl.

"What kind of places?" Jillian asked.

"Like where I used to meet my dealer, at the mall."

"That's good. What do you think you should do in that case?"

"I don't know..."

"Do you think that mall is a good place for you to continue to go?"

"No. But it's like the only place to work in my town though. My girlfriend was gonna get me a job at the Shake Shack."

"Well, you need to focus on your recovery right now. You have to ask yourselves if a job is worth your life right now. There are other jobs. Recovery has to be your number one priority. It's a deadly serious disease. So what are some other triggers?"

Jillian strolled across the room as the patients threw out suggestions. She wasn't looking where she was going as she fielded them. Only looking up to the ceiling or down at the floor, she appeared dazed by the inanity of what was being said all around her. There was a table against the wall she was headed toward. It was a computer lab table, and desktops were lined along it, along with a paper plate which carried a slice of ice cream cake that one of the junkies had lost his appetite for. Jillian pivoted 180 degrees and continued in the same direction, walking backwards. In two steps her thighs were pressing up against the edge of the table. It seemed like everyone else was too busy whispering or shivering to notice what was about to happen. Colin, though, was watching intently, and perhaps Jillian noticed because she then said, "Colin, can you name a trigger that you tend to struggle with?" With that, she put her weight on her hands, lifted her feet off the ground, and sat down directly on top of the slice of Oreo ice cream cake. Her eyes hadn't broken from Colin's, even when they widened at the feel of the cold cream and chocolate pressing and molding into her crotch. The whipped cream topping was hanging off from her pants on her backside and between her legs when she stood.

Colin's mouth hung open. He had an erection so strong that it hurt. When Jillian broke her eyes away from his, she looked into her lap and wiped at some of the mess, but it only smeared it, and she reached around to her backside and wiped some from there and put a little back onto the plate. Her cluelessness in how to handle the situation looked something like a tease act. Colin got up and said he would get her some paper towels. The whole room, he realized, was laughing and joking while he walked out and he wondered if they, or Jillian, had noticed his hard on.

His excitement raged and became torturous in its intensity. He could feel pre-cum sticking to the inside of his underwear. Once inside the restroom, he went straight for a stall, locked the door, opened his pants and started jerking off and exhaling like he was finally letting go of a long held piss. The sequence of her crotch plopping onto the ice cream and then seeing the reaction on her face ran through his head on repeat three or four times, and then he was spurting all into the toilet water. He wiped his dick and hand off with toilet paper then used the same bunch for the droplets on the rim of the bowl.

Re-entering the classroom, he noticed that Jillian's pants looked rather dry and unsoiled. That he was holding paper towels for her made him feel ridiculous. He crumpled them up, threw them in the waste basket, and sat down into a tired slouch. Jillian looked at him confusedly, then looked at the computer table where there was still whip cream and Oreo cake splattered about.

While Jillian had noticed Colin previously, and thought he was attractive, it was only in passing. This episode forced her to consider him more thoroughly, and to judge whether or not she should give him more attention or less. The next time she saw him, she studied him more closely.

He wasn't as tall as she preferred, but his face was handsome enough to make up for it. She liked his dimples, his blue eyes, his lean torso and cut arms, and his buzzed blonde hair. But in the end, it was his mouth that swayed her. It was his pretty lips, his mischievous smile, his delicate looking teeth, and the small constellation of beauty marks around it all which she found she adored lingering on. Once Jillian acknowledged this, Colin became a welcome fixture in her thoughts through the day and into the night, as she was in his.

The next twenty-four hours passed and they were marked for Colin and Jillian both by intense meetings of the eyes and short nervous conversations. She asked him when he was leaving. "Two days," he said. In his rehab bed, Colin couldn't sleep thinking of all the plausible and implausible scenarios that would lead to them fucking. There are no cameras in the gym, he thought. Could she sneak into his bathroom? He imagined fucking her from behind while she leaned over with her palms on the toilet tank and her begging him to put it in her ass and to come there.

Jillian thought about it, in her bed at home, as well. But she didn't have to dream up hypothetical scenarios. She knew the place's schedule. She wouldn't be even the tenth employee to fuck a patient on the premises and by then everyone had learned what worked and what didn't. The guards who watched the cameras religiously took smoke breaks at 12:05 a.m. and were never back before 12:20. Those in the know referred to this quarter hour as "peak sneak." It was when most drug exchanges went down as well as the blowjobs given as payment. Jillian knew that Colin had a single room, and that the hall around his door would be clear. She just had to tell him to make sure he was there at the right time.

For Colin, the following day was still filled with uncertainties and internal debates about strategy. He went from breakfast to group to shower with a hard beating heart, a fluttering stomach, and a racing mind. When at the nurse's station for his morning medicines, his blood pressure levels showed to be running much higher than normal. They told him to return in an hour to have it checked again, but he didn't because his mind was overrun with the body and face of Jillian and the possibilities of what he might do to them.

Jillian, however, thought no nervous thoughts, and felt no anxiety. Her heart did flutter though when she saw Colin in the dining hall at breakfast and laughed to herself at the way he was trying make a sandwich with French toast and bacon. His back was turned to the greyish light of the westward morning sky in the wall-wide window. He better brush his teeth after that, she thought.

She ate by herself at lunch, and thought not about much. It was just her and a salad and a sandwich, enjoying an uncharacteristically uneventful day. When she was done eating and heading to the dish cart, Jillian noticed they were serving vanilla ice cream cake for desert. The sight of it made her feel cold in the groin. It was now an inescapable truth in her life that she knew what it was like to sit on ice cream cake, and to have it be a surprise. It made her wet, the thought of it, of Colin watching her do it, and with that, her excitement for the coming night turned from a comfortable longing into an engrossing hunger.

Colin was walking leisurely down a corridor between groups when he heard shoes spanking the linoleum to his rear. He moved to the side to let whoever it was pass, but the sound came right up behind him. He felt something dip into the back pocket of his jeans and a moment later he watched Jillian walk by. She didn't look back, and his eyes stayed on her pretty bottom for as long as it was in sight. He drew out the note. Be in your room at midnight was all it said.

It surprised Colin that he was more nervous than excited as the night came on. He didn't eat much at dinner. He was preoccupied with anticipation, both for what was to come further on in the evening, and for his departure the following morning. He thought about going home, and the hope in his mother's eyes when she had come to visit. He worried about the risk he would be taking, but he couldn't square how his affection for Jillian, and what he would do to be with her, should undermine something that had allowed his family to have hope for him again.

The plates and silverware started making their sounds of careless clatter as the diners let them fall, some still full of food, into grey plastic bins. Colin continued to dread getting caught and kicked out, and he considered telling Jillian not to come to his room. But when he saw her again, he knew not only that he couldn't, but that he shouldn't. "What," he asked himself, "could be better for me than some kind of love right now? If I can't be with someone like her when the opportunity comes, what's the point of sobriety? She'll remind me of how good life can be, and that memory will help when I'm looking for a reason to stay clean when I'm back at home."

Colin sat on his bed for over an hour before their scheduled meeting time. Come quarter to midnight, he decided it would be best to lie down. He pretended to read.

Jillian, meanwhile, made sure there were no loose ends around the place in order to decrease the chances of someone looking for her when she didn't want to be found. When she finished, she went to the rest room to check herself out and make sure she looked good enough for the deed to be done with relative haste. She wondered what he was expecting, and hoped he wasn't lying naked on his bed or ready to tear her clothes off. Her phone alarm rang at 12:02. She walked toward Colin's room with her heart beating faster than the pace of her steps.

Colin was lying down, on top of his covers. He was wearing no shoes, no socks, jeans, no belt, and a t-shirt. He was looking at the book when there was a knock. It startled him. He said, "Yeah!" Jillian opened the door, stepped in quickly, and shut the door behind her. Her face was lit from the underside by the lamp on the nightstand. It looked seductive, and a little spooky. Colin felt as though he should say something, but he only looked at her as she stood over the bed, and he kept his eyes on hers when she bent over to kiss him, like she was kissing him goodnight. The comfortable intensity Jillian felt in the kiss scared her, and for a moment she considered just pulling away and saying goodbye and good luck, but by the time that thought was fully formed one knee of hers was already on the bed, and Colin's hand was under her shirt, his palm on her back, pulling her gently to him, and all of it had a power that she could not bring herself to pull away from.

The kissing went on for some time. It was a veritable make out session with their hands in each other's hair and her leg in his crotch, where she could feel his clothed penis rubbing on her thigh. It felt like high school that way, especially with how forbidden it all was. Jillian remembered after a few minutes about the time limit. She looked at the clock, and saw they had only ten minutes left. "Shit!" she said.

"What's wrong?" Colin asked.

"It's all right," she told him, and unbuttoned his pants. He tried taking her shirt off but she stopped him. "You can be naked in your room," she said, "but I can't." Then she took his hand and put in on her breast, over her shirt. Colin looked in her eyes with a mix of disappointment and intense longing. She kissed his lips quickly then moved to the side of his head and flicked his ear with the tip of her tongue. He took his hand off her breast, put it on her ass and pulled her tighter to him. His cock was pushing so hard against his jeans that it hurt him, and he wanted to take them off but it had become clear that there were rules and only she knew what they were. She stood up next to the bed and told him to get under the covers. After he did, she told him to get undressed. He was confused, but obeyed. While he did so, Jillian stood as close to his head as possible and rubbed herself over her pants, gyrating as she did so, giving her heavy breath a soft voice.

Once Colin was naked under the covers, she straddled him. As soon as she came down over the ridge in the blankets her hips bucked forward reflexively, because a special place had been touched the right way, like when a doctor takes a little hammer to a certain spot below the knee. She looked toward the unlockable door, and she tightened up imagining the consequences if it were to open then. But the tightening only increased her excitement and sensitivity with the pressure building in her womb. She looked at Colin's face and was reminded of her real affection for him, and it added a warmth in her heart, which soon merged with the heat radiating from below, and upon the mingling an orgasm shot through her and a choked cry popped through her lips.

When Jillian opened her eyes and stilled her hips, Colin was smiling up at her, and she could tell by the still significant ridge beneath her that he had not yet cum. She looked at the clock and saw that only three minutes remained before peak sneak was over, but her heart had grown to favor this adult delinquent too much to leave him so unfulfilled. She started riding him again, but Colin, having gained some self-confidence after her climax, grabbed her behind and began to pull it up in the direction of his head. As soon as she was past his waist he put a hand under the covers and started jerking himself off. He continued to pull her up towards his face with his other hand, and Jillian was confused as to what it was he wanted her to do, if anything. Once her knees were at his neck, she looked down at him with questioning eyes, and he looked up at her and said, "Pretend my face is ice cream cake."

There was a lot for her to process, but she knew what to do and was happy to do it. She dipped herself down over his face so that she could feel his breath adding to the moisture and the heat in her panties, and Colin's hand could be heard pumping away under the sheets. They both thought about her sitting in the cake, Colin the sight of it, Jillian the feel of it, and her remembering then the look on Colin's face when it happened. It made her wetter and she increased the amount of weight she let fall on Colin's face. His tongue had been out but with the added pressure he drew it back into his mouth and let her grind away as she pleased.

Soon, he could feel her movements becoming jittery and he could feel his own orgasm building in his balls. He started humming, hoping the vibrations would transfer to her somehow, and whether they did or not, her grinding became more frantic and her legs tightened around his head. Though his eyes were totally covered in darkness, it was as if he could see her face clear like a portrait, and his humming turned to moans as his cum neared its exit. Jillian's dancing on his face had turned to quick jerks and convulsions and they found themselves letting out much too telling noises. Colin's ecstasy reached its peak and he felt the warm ejaculate running over his hands and between his fingers.

He kissed Jillian's pussy through her pants as if he was making out through a veil. Her eyes were closed tight. Her surroundings and the circumstances served not as a hindrance, but as an accelerant. "Oh, fuck!" she yelled, with her hand over her mouth, and she came again, harder than the first time. Her fingers ran tenderly over Colin's soft, short hair as they breathed and rested. Colin had forgotten where he was. Barely another moment had time to pass before Jillian's alarm went off, and she had to get up off of his face, and say goodbye.