Penthouse and the Space Vixens

“No signs of any trouser activity to me.” She whispered. “Now, let’s keep those briefs where they are until you get that thing to a state where I won’t feel totally ashamed when they get their first glimpse of it.”

“Sorry.” He whispered back.

“Is dangle thing hard?” Jenny asked, staring at his crotch.

“Yes.”

“Is not look hard.” There was a note of doubt in the alien’s voice. “Is looking like still dangling.”

“Is human say ‘hard’.” Jacky reminded her. “Is human not say truth?”

“Is capable of tell not-truth. Is long time come terms with concept.” Jenny explained. Jacky looked horrified at this.

“Is thing possible?”

“Isvery possible. Is happen all time. Is probable effect of DNA recombining?”

There was a long silence, while Jacky seemed to experience difficulties in coming to terms with this. Finally, she said; “Is wish continue experiment. Is consider implications later.”

“Is female thing remove dangle thing sheath.” Jenny said.

Anne moved toward James, but he held up his hands, suddenly. “Why do you call it a ‘dangle thing’ if it doesn’t always dangle?” he asked, frantically stalling for time. “Sometimes it stands.”

“Is speak true.” Jenny consulted the book again. “Is name call ‘penis’, is true?”

James seemed to sag. “I s’pose.” He answered, dully.

“Is female thing remove penis thing sheath.”

“Well?” Anne asked.

James nodded. “Go ahead.” He said. “But close your eyes.”

“You think so?” she answered.

She knelt in front of him, then grabbed the waistband of his briefs and whipped them downwards. He stepped out of them and she straightened up, still looking down at him. His shame was laid bare for all to see – despite his best efforts, he had remained embarrassingly limp. Jacky took a look, then pressed the control panel and turned back to start babbling unintelligibly at Jenny again.

“Hey, I wouldn’t be too upset if I were you.” Anne said, consolingly. ”With something like that, you don’t need to worry about your personality too much.”

“Thanks.” He answered. Then, entering into the spirit, he leant forward and said softly, “To tell the truth, I think you’re pretty attractive yourself. Nice um… nice breasts.”

“Thanks. Wanna see ‘em?”

“What? I um…”

She giggled softly. “Relax. The way things are going, I don’t think it’ll be too long before I have to get them out anyway.” She paused and looked back down at him. “Think about that for a while – it might get you hard, yet.”

“I’m trying, honestly. I don’t know what the problem is. Nerves or something.”

“Hey, you’re not impotent are you? I mean it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and if you are, we can tell them, and then they’ll know that it’s not me.”

“No, I’m not bloody well impotent!” he snapped. “Look, they’re bloody aliens – what do you care if they think I’m not turned on by you. In any other situation, I can assure you that I’d be as hard as it’s possible to be.”

She melted slightly, and smiled at him. “Hey, d’you really mean that? Thanks. It’s a nice thing to say.” she paused, then said; “Look, let’s just agree to do whatever they ask, OK? I mean, you’re a nice guy and everything – I can cope if you can. And if we co-operate, we might get back home again, a bit quicker.”

Before James could respond to this, Jenny turned back to them, while Jacky turned the translator back on.

“Is considering male thing needs more visual type stimulation. Is thinking male thing should rip off all body sheaths on female thing. Making grabby snatchy stuff. ‘Expose her body to your hungry eyes, while your cock throbs manfully. Feast your eyes on her heaving bosoms and the triangle of her secret haven. Drink in her feminine beauty with…”

“OK, OK, shut up will you?” James shouted and swinging round to Anne, he reached between her breasts, grabbed the clasp of her bra and pulled. He was only slightly put off his stride when the elastic snapped back and struck him in the forehead, and before she knew what was happening, he had pressed her against the wall and was wrenching her skirt down.

“Well, well, well. Where did all this enthusiasm come from?” she gasped, in exhilaration.

He stood up, put his right arm round her waist and pulled her body against his. His left hand cupped the back of her head and he brought his mouth up to hers and kissed her passionately. She sagged, as his tongue found hers and probed hungrily. His right hand lowered, found one of her cheeks and cupped it through her knickers.

When he drew back for air, and his senses returned, his cheeks flared bright red.

“Wow!” Anne said.

“I… I didn’t mean. I’m sorry…”

He glanced at Jenny and Jacky, who were staring at them, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Jenny suddenly started leafing through her book.

“Is skipping parts!” the alien squawked. “Is making much improvisation things. Is not playing rules.”

Anne looked down at James’ crotch again. “Still not hard?” she whispered.

“I don’t know why not...”

“Ssh.” She answered and reached out to take him in her hand. “Don’t worry about it, tiger. C’mere.”

He stepped back into her arms and slipped his hands round behind her to cup her cheeks again. Their kissing was less frantic this time, but just as passionate. Behind him, he could hear as Jenny lapsed into stunned silence again.

Anne’s hands cupped the back of his head, but suddenly he slipped down and pressed his nose against her knickers and inhaled. She arched her back, then gasped as he slid them down, revealing her dark triangle of pubic hair to him. His hands moved up and his thumbs opened her up to his tongue. Her hands found his hair and grabbed two handsful.

Jenny finally decided she had had enough and strode across the room to grab his shoulder and haul him away. “Is enough!” she cried and looked at James’ crotch. “Is not correct. Is not hard! Is must be hard!”

“Ismadness!” Jacky shouted. “Is Jenny who is not playing rules!”

“Pardonings?” Jenny swung round and looked at her partner in disbelief. Jacky was holding herself totally rigid and was shaking all over. One hand was pointing ramrod straight, right at Jenny.

“Is madness!” she repeated. “Is not same species. Is not evolving creatures. Is harmless beings! DNA theorisings is producings of insane imaginings. Is not dangerous over-run universe type things. Is not menacings to way of life. Is only deviant wanderings of aliens being too long apart from own kind. Is needing therapy. Is needing medications. Is needing much juicy voltage type sparky things…”

There was much more, presumably along the same lines, but by that point, Jacky had reached out a hand and switched off the translation device. She strode out the room, dragging Jenny with her.

Anne and James looked at each other for a moment, each wondering what to do next. While they were pondering this, the room suddenly started to blur, fade away and disappear.

There was a moment of extreme disorientation, and then they suddenly found themselves standing in the rain, by the very bus stop they had been waiting at, when all this had first started.

“Tell me I didn’t imagine all that.” James said

“Well, if you did, you took your clothes off. And so did I.” Anne answered, suddenly experiencing an attack of modesty and crossing an arm across her breasts. She looked round wildly, and saw that their clothes were strewn about, all round them in much the same way as they had been discarded in the room they had just been in. She hurried over to them and started picking them up and struggling into them.

James started gathering up his own, but found he could not tear his eyes away from the round arse that was bobbing around in front of him. And as Anne pulled her knickers over it and reached for the remains of her bra, he noticed something else.

“Anne!” he said.

“What?”

“Umm… Look.”

She turned round and her eyes widened as she looked at him. “Well, I’ll be damned. Why didn’t that happen a little while ago?”

“Dunno. Although I think there was something in the atmosphere that was inhibiting me.”

“Not just nerves, you mean? Well, tell you what – let’s put it away before we get arrested.”

Within a few more moments, they were fully dressed and a few seconds after that, they had made the final adjustments to their clothes that made them reasonably presentable. They were wet and torn, but at least they could get by with nothing more than a raised eyebrow or two from the average passer-by, rather than a hasty ‘phone call to the local constabulary.

Then, miracle on miracles, a bus rounded the corner just as they were getting ready to start walking. They piled on thankfully, climbed up the stairs and sat at the back, together. There were no other passengers.

Anne pressed a hand into James’ crotch.

“Still hard, then?” she said.

He nodded, dumbly.

“You know, I think I prefer it like this. I was beginning to wonder if I was totally unattractive or something.”

“Umm… Any chance of going to your place for a coffee?”

She smiled. “Maybe – so long as you’ve got some protection. We don’t want to go around recombining any DNA, y’know.”

The End