Peter Priper Ch. 13

I woke up in the middle of the night and went downstairs to the yard.

When you have a permanent erection, pissing is kind of a problem. It takes forever to get the stuff flowing, first of all. But second, it doesn't flow downward, in the way that conveniently ends up in a toilet bowl. It squirts straight ahead. You can compensate for this by bending at the hips, but aiming is still very awkward. And after a couple of messy incidents the girls banned me from using the toilet inside.

Hence I went outside. The air was cool but not uncomfortably so, even though I was naked. I pissed into the trees on the edge of the yard, watching my urine arc through the air and splatter on a trunk several feet away. I shook myself off and was on my way back to the toadstool when a girl landed on the grass in front of me.

She wore thigh-high boots, a tiny loincloth hanging over her crotch, a bra top, and a bandanna over her face. She brandished a riding crop in each hand.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Scarlet, the Midnight Ninja."

I recognized the voice. "Genie?"

"Shh!" She dashed over to me and put a finger on my lips. "Don't say that. No one can know I'm here."

"Why'd you come?" I asked, though without waiting for an answer, I caressed her thighs and her ass, and pulled her in toward me.

"I think your hands figured out," she giggled. I wanted to kiss her, but her lips were covered. So I nuzzled her neck instead, and ran my hands over her back. "Nobody tells me who I can and can't fuck." She started stroking my erection. I tried to get her top open to reach her nipples with my tongue. "Nobody refuses to share their sex robot with me," she muttered.

"I'm not a sex robot."

"Don't talk. You'll wake the girls up."

I grabbed her and carried her over to the table. I was ready to drill her right there, but she pushed my head towards her groin. "I want that tongue of yours again."

"Yes, your Majesty." I pulled her loincloth away and started licking her.

"Also pinch your nipples until they hurt."

I gave one of them a quick twist. "Ow," I said.

"I should have brought clothespins," she said. She sounded oddly nervous. "Do you like clothespins on your nipples? Some guys don't, I guess, but some do. I could go get some clothespins if you want." I looked up at her, perplexed. "Or I could just stop talking. I should just stop talking." She cleared her throat. "Lick my clit, peon!"

I tongued her for a long time. It took a while for her to relax-that was a bit weird-but soon enough she was breathing hard and her hips were shaking. I looked up, a thumb still circling over her pussy. "May I fuck you now, your Majesty?"

"Oh, God, yes," she moaned. "Do it-"

And right at that moment, there was a thud just to my right. I looked over; another girl had landed in the yard. Apparently, it was time for the girl harvest and the ripe girls were just dropping off the trees.

This one had on tiny skirt that hung down between her legs to her knees and a lace-up top, all black. She also had a bandana over her face. Her hair was jet black except for one red lock.

"I am Raven Nightshade, Mistress of the Dark," said the new girl. I stopped listening about three words in. I had my erection in my hand and I was about to push it inside Jeannie when something whizzed through the air. My arms were pinned to my sides by a bola, and then I was yanked off the table, away from that delicious vagina. "And I have come to save Peter from this demon witch," the girl said.

Genie sat up. She stared at the girl. "What are you doing here?"

"I just said, I came to save Peter."

"Oh no you don't." Genie grabbed her whips. "You just got on the bus to Pain Town. Population: your red and stinging ass."

Raven drew a pair of fans. "Bring it on, you perverted monster. Your reign of terror is over. You will no longer torment the innocent people of this island."

"Can we not get distracted?" I said, trying to wiggle free of the bolas. "How about Genie and I get back to what we were doing, and then you two have a nice catfight to get us all hot and sweaty for another go."

Sadly, no one listens to me. The girls circled the yard, brandishing their weapons at each other. Genie lunged at the interloper. Her whip cracked against Raven's thigh, leaving a red mark. Raven yelped.

"Christ Jesus, you two," I muttered. "Be quiet."

Raven batted the other whip away with a fan, and sort of bopped Genie on the head and blew her hair around-since a fan is, as weapons go, slightly less effective than a wiffle ball.

It was hot watching them-neither had anything on under their little skirts, and so every time they struck one of their martial arts poses a beautiful little bald pussy would appear for a second. But I couldn't just stand there watching all night. I had to have Genie before the girls got woken up. So once I had the bolas unwound I marched up to Raven Darkness or whatever her name was and grabbed her arms from behind.

"That is enough," I whispered. "I've been trying to get with this woman for weeks and you can just save me another day, got it?"

But it was too late. Retta's voice drifted down from above us. "What is going on out there?" Footsteps started coming down the stairs.

"Shit!" said Genie. "Ninja vanish!" There was a puff of smoke and she was gone.

"Shit!" said Raven whoever. "Ninja vanish!" There was a puff of smoke, and she and I doubled over coughing.

"It doesn't work when you're holding on to me," she snarled.

I hacked into my elbow. "Use those fans to clear away the smoke, you twit."

By the time I could see again, the girls were standing around us in the yard. "Hell, yeah," said Violet. "We caught us a ninja." It would probably have been very intimidating, except that she was wearing a Friendship is Magic t-shirt, and her bedhead was sticking up practically vertical on one side. "Let's see who this twat is." She lunged forward and yanked Raven's bandana down.

"Abigail!" yelled Retta. "I haven't seen you in so long!" She pushed Violet out of the way and gave the ninja a bearhug.

"Hi," said the girl awkwardly.

"What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"My, um, flight was delayed."

"I'm so glad you came to visit!" Retta hugged her again. "Everyone, this is my cousin Abigail. These are my friends Trudy, Millie, and Violet. And this is our sex robot, Peter."

"I am not a sex robot," I replied.

"He always says that," said Retta.

Abigail looked at me with curiosity. "That explains a lot."

"No, it doesn't, because I am not a sex robot."

"He's having an existential crisis." Trudy yawned. "Tech support put me on hold for forty-five minutes, and when I got through they just asked if I'd tried turning him off and on again."

Retta took one of Abigail's fans. She folded it up and smacked me right on the dick with it.

"Jesus!" I yelled. "That hurt. Why the hell did you do that?"

She then put her arms around me and kissed me, her tongue gently prodding against the tip of mine. "I need you, stallion," she breathed.

"That is probably not what tech support meant," said Trudy.

*

Abigail was small and slight and extremely pale, as if she'd gotten a restraining order against the sun. Her clothes all seemed to be black, to match her hair and her nails. The only colour to her was that one red lock of hair. She had a ring in her lower lip and another in her nose.

I was working on Millie's bed the next afternoon. Earlier that week she and Violet had invited one of the male preppers over. They managed to break their bed and I think him too-he limped out of here afterward. So I was underneath their bed screwing braces onto the busted slats when Abigail came upstairs. It sounded like she was on the phone.

"I'm still using it, Dad."

"Yeah, but I need it."

"It is important."

"Maybe this is a matter of national security too! Did you ever think of that?"

"Can't you use someone else's? Russia's right across the sea, and they have tons of subs. Borrow one of theirs."

"Oh my God, you do not need to talk to me in that tone of voice."

"You can trust me, you know. If I say I'm not going to use the missiles then I'm not going to use the missiles and you don't have to keep asking me about it every ten minutes! We only fired like three of them."

"What is the big deal? They were conventional warheads!"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

She came in Millie's room a minute later and collapsed onto a bean bag chair. "My dad is such a jerk sometimes."

"Yep," I said, and by that I meant, I could not care less.

"So, Peter." She leaned forward. Her top was tight enough that I could tell both her nipples were pierced. "I wanted to tell you that I empathize with your situation."

"Well, thank you."

"Being treated like a slave, forced to serve all these girls all the time, having to clean up after them, having to clean them..."

Ah, that. A few hours earlier Millie had been eating Belgian waffles in the nude, and she dribbled syrup on her tits. She ordered me to lick the syrup off. Mind you, I had been staring at her breasts thinking about doing that, so it was a win-win.

"They don't treat you with respect," said Abigail. "See, I believe that every being deserves respect-people, animals, plants, even inanimate objects. Like that bed. You're taking good care of that bed, and that's important, because inanimate objects have rights too."

I put down my ratchet and slid out from under the bed. "Okay, you do realize that I am not a robot."

"Well..."

"Not only is this a pack of lies, but it's a pack of lies that Trudy and Retta came up with just yesterday. I am an adult human being who is living here temporarily until I get this medical condition resolved." I waved at my erection. "I certainly don't mind helping out around the house. I'm living here, so I should pull my weight. As for the constant sex-it should be obvious why I'm okay with that."

"Well..."

"Well, what?"

"It does sound like you're rationalizing the fact that you do exactly what a sex robot would. Like, have you done anything to fix that 'medical condition'?" She pointed to my boner.

"This is one of the reasons I need to get with that genie. She can grant wishes. As far as I can tell, she's my best bet for getting out of here."

"Uh-huh. That is not at all what a sex robot would say."

"I'm still not a damn robot! Abby, rule number one around here is, you can't believe anything Trudy says. I am not a robot."

"I understand," she said.

"Finally. Someone believes me."

"Oh, absolutely. I think it's very important to listen. You can't help anyone unless you listen to their stories. And that's what I'm here to do. Don't tell the others, but the reason I came here was to save you. You and the rest of this island."

I crawled back under the bed. "Forgive me if I'm unenthusiastic about your project, but your first attempt to save me was some of history's most dramatic cockblocking."

"That Queen is a tyrant. I have to defeat her. And Violet. I've heard a lot about Violet. She is a being of pure evil. Peter, you will be essential to the liberation of this island. Your abilities will be crucial to our fight."

Well, it might be entertaining. And if we were going to go after the Queen, that meant possible opportunities to get her to myself for half an hour or so. "So you heard about how I can turn invisible?"

"No," said Abigail with surprise. "But that's also useful." She climbed on top of the bed, so that her face was right above mine. The slats creaked. For Christ's sake don't break any more of them, I thought. She looked at me with an expression of absolute earnestness. "Meet me in the woods tonight. If you go north from the front door, there's a little hill and a clearing just beyond it. Meet me there at midnight."

*

And so while the girls were inside watching a rerun of So You Think You Can Dance, I turned invisible and slipped out into the woods. In the clearing, Abigail had put a dozen lit candles in a circle. In the middle she'd laid down a blanket with a huge pentagram on it. She was wearing an assortment of corsets and lace, all black. There was even a flower in her hair. It was also black.

"So," I said, making myself visible again. "You going to sacrifice me to Satan or something?"

She smiled nervously. "Is it midnight?"

"I think so." It was twenty to. I had pretended to like So You Think You Can Dance for as long as I could.

Abigail went over to a little battery-operated speaker. She took her phone and scrolled through her music library until she found something called Gothic Lolita Propaganda. It was an odd mix between Gothic electronica and J-pop, kind of like if Trent Reznor had gotten smooshed by a truck and reincarnated as a Japanese schoolgirl.

"Now we can begin," she said. "I want you to take off my clothes, slowly. Then you should start kissing me, and work your way down-not to my pussy, though, not yet, just go around that and down to my feet. And then work your way back up."

I cleared my throat. "You said we were meeting here because you had some secret plan for liberating the island."

"This is a secret. No one can know." She looked down nervously. "They'll just make fun of the candles and stuff."

"Yeah, I think Retta is going to notice that you drew a pentagram on her blanket."

"And as someone who knows the house, your job will be figuring out where to hide it so she doesn't find out. We're in this together, Peter, you and me. Maybe we won't save the island tonight. But we are working for the liberation of everyone, including you. Though not just you, all the robots on this island."

I sighed. "I thought you understood that I am not a sex robot."

"I understand that you think that," she said.

"Oh, Lord."

"And I respect that you think that, because even robots deserve to be listened to and respected. Anyway, when you're eating me out, if I'm about to come, just stop for a bit and kiss my thighs or something. I love edging."

"Any other requests, your Highness?" I muttered.

She gasped. "How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"Never mind." She blushed. "There is another thing. Call me Raven. I don't mind 'Your Highness' either."

For the sake of my own self-respect and, you know, being treated like a human being, the best course of action would have been to sit Abigail/Raven down and explain to her that I was not a sex robot. Then she could help me convince the others to drop this ridiculous charade. And I would have done that. Except it was obvious that the chance of Abigail/Raven actually being of help was about the same as my chance of suddenly sprouting a second head on my shoulder.

So I stepped into her pentagram and kissed her. "I hope you understand, Raven," I whispered, "that I am not just eating you out." I slid off one of her lace gloves. "I'm going to take you to the edge a few times, and then I'm going to flip you over and fuck you like you're a sacrifice to whatever evil deity this-"

"Hades," she said.

"I'm going to flip you over and sacrifice your body to Hades." I undid the top of her corset, and got it loose enough that I could fondle one of her little breasts.

"Oh," she moaned. "You're good at this." As I unlaced her corset I worked my way down from her neck to her nipple. She moaned again. "Definitely worth nine hundred thousand yen."