Pete's Secret Revealed

Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri

October 1978

When I left for basic training, I was naive country boy from a small town in South Carolina. I was a bit of a mamma's boy and leaving home for the first time was a traumatic experience for me, and even 36 years later, I remember that day well. My journey started on a Grey Hound bus that took me to Columbia, and after a day of processing at Fort Jackson, several other "trainees" and I were put on a Delta Airlines flight to St. Louis. Then after another long bus ride, I finally arrived at Fort Leonard Wood where I would begin basic training.

Two weeks later I was seriously questioning my decision to join the Army, and wondering if I was even going to be able to make it through basic training. My body ached from all the exercising, and I desperately missed home. I was also finding it hard getting use to being surrounded by guys all the time, and I found myself having doubts about my own masculinity.

I slept in a room with a dozen guys from every corner of the country and we were greeted every morning by screaming drill sergeants, who were all intimidating figures, especially when they were right in your face. I was one of the smallest guys in my platoon, and all the physical aspects of our training seemed so easy for the others while I sometimes struggled to keep pace.

There was also no privacy at all. The other guys in my room were always walking around in their underwear or completely naked. I had especially begun to feel increasingly uncomfortable taking a shower when surrounded by so many of my fellow trainees. Everywhere I looked was a hard, naked muscular bodies and so many dicks...and not just dicks, many were really, really big dicks...especially the black guys, and probably at least half the guys in my platoon were black.

I had a difficult time forcing myself not stare at the really well hung black guys, especially when they were standing right next to me in the shower. I had seen fairly big dicks on a few of the black guys I played football with in high school, but gosh, some of the soldiers in my platoon were hung like horses! I swear I was in awe.

Amplifying my growing discomfort was the fact that there was no way for me to get any sexual relief, and I started having wet dreams, some of which were really vivid. Almost all of these dreams involved me doing things with guys in my platoon, which was both embarrassing and confusing. I wasn't a fag or anything, so it was just so weird that I was having wet dreams about other guys. Why wouldn't I be dreaming about Vicky or Donna or one of the other girls I dated in high school?

I couldn't help but remember that my friend Andy had once told me that someday I would realize I was a homo just like him. At the time, I thought it was a ridiculous assertion. Sure I had played around with him and few other guys and I had even sucked a few dicks, but I assured him that I was never going to be a homo faggot or a fairy queer and I definitely preferred girls. Yet now, I just wasn't so sure and not nearly as confident about my masculinity. As crazy as it seemed it wasn't female companionship I was craving or dreaming about. I felt almost like I was a woman living among men and that there was a feminine side emerging from inside of me and taking over.

With each day that passed, it became more and more difficult for me to avoid looking at black guys in the shower, and even a casual glance put crazy thoughts in my head. It was practically impossible for me not to get aroused, and yet I knew the last thing I needed to do was to get an erection in the shower. A couple of times, I actually had to dash out when I felt my dick starting to swell to life.

Then, one night, this black guy named Nelson claimed he caught me checking out his dick as he showered next to me. He smiled and asked me, "You like what you see, Malone?"

I tried to play it off, but from the look in his eyes, I knew that he knew, and I was incredibly embarrassed. After that night, he and several of his friends started quietly ribbing me about being a fag and offering to let me suck their dicks. Some of them taunted me by calling me "Sweet Pete" and "Sweet Pea."

They amused themselves at my expense by openly speculating as to whether I took it in the ass. A couple of them would even grab or pat my ass when no one was looking.

Then one night in the crowded shower room this Hispanic guy Martinez was horsing around and came up behind me and grabbed my hips and briefly pressed his over-sized dick against my butt. All the guys got a good laugh out of it, and I felt so humiliated, especially when my dick started getting hard. The only thing I could think to do was storm out.

Their harassment got even worse after that and I was convinced it was never going to stop. It reminded me of what happen to these two friends of mine in high school. Somehow, a rumor started that they were both queers, and they started getting constantly harassed and were the brunt of jokes. I felt bad for them, but I was also thankful no one had ever connected me to them or questioned my sexuality like that, at least until now.

I was quickly becoming more and more intimidated and embarrassed, and I really wanted it to stop. I finally decided that I had enough and went to Drill Sergeant Jefferson's office to complain. He was this big black drill sergeant with a barreled chest and thick forearms. He had a booming voice and seemed to always be in a foul mood.

Unfortunately, his reaction was not what I hoped for. He got a good laugh out of my story. It was the first time I had seen him smile. He wrote down the names of the guys who had been harassing me and said he'd talk to them about it, but he could hardly keep a straight face, especially when I told him what they were calling me.

To avoid further harassment in the shower, I started waiting until as late as possible before lights out to take my showers. At exactly 2100, the CQ would kill all the lights no matter if anyone was still showering or not. I began cutting it closer and closer, barely making it out of the shower when the lights went out.

Then one night, some of the guys that had extra duty didn't get into the showers until late, and I reluctantly waited as long as possible. It was almost 2100 when I rushed into the shower, but at least it had cleared out. I was just beginning to soap up when the lights went out. There were a couple guys using the sinks and on the shitters, and I heard several of them growl and curse when the bathroom suddenly went black except for a fire light above the door.

It was almost pitch black inside the shower, but I decided to go ahead and finish up in the dark. I was thankful that I was the only one left showering. It was a little spooky in the darkness, and I wanted to get done as quickly as possible, but as I washed my dick and balls, I found myself becoming aroused. It had been weeks since I had jerked off and my dick was screaming for relief.

As I began to slowly stroke myself, I kept a cautious eye on the entrance to the shower room. I heard some voices outside and some shadows pass by the entrance, but I knew no one could see what I was doing. Surprisingly, my thoughts turned to Nelson's big dick, and I let out a low groan as I shot my load as the water cascaded over my body.

I immediately felt guilty for what I had done and the thoughts I was having. I quickly cleaned up and went back to bed.

I slept much better that night, and the next night I decided I would try jerking off in the shower again. I purposely waited until lights out until I slipped into the shower. I immediately soaped up and slowly started stroking my dick in the dark. Then suddenly just as I was about to cum, I saw a dark silhouette pass silently into the entrance of the shower. I quickly took my hand off my dick as I tried to peer through the darkness hoping to see who had entered the shower room.

The shower next to me abruptly turned on, and I felt immediately uneasy. There were ten other shower stalls and this guy took the one right next to me. I strained my eyes to try to see who it was through the darkness, but all I could make out was a dark shadow moving a few feet from me. I had no idea who it was, but I thought it was best if I finished up as quickly as possible and get out of there. I stepped just out of the water spray and resumed soaping down my body. Just as I was about to step back under shower to rinse off, two hands suddenly grasp my shoulders from behind and pushed me forward against the wall. I was momentarily stunned but tried to turn around and confront this guy. His hands immediately clamped onto my arms keeping me pinned against the wall. I tried to twist away, but he was very strong and his hands tightened their powerful grip, and all I could do was squirm.

"What...what do you want?" I whispered as my knees felt suddenly weak with fear. I was almost certain that I was going to get beat up, and this was probably one of the guys I had complained about to the drill sergeant.

"Shhhh," came the indistinguishable voice close behind me.

"Let me go," I whispered trying to twist away again as I glanced back into the darkness trying to see who it was. The powerful hands held me in place, and all I could make out was the silhouette of a guy but I couldn't tell who it was. He was obviously several inches taller than me and appeared to have wide shoulders but there was nothing I could distinguish him from the many guys in my platoon.

"Shhhh," said the guy again but this time with his mouth only inches from my ear.

I was considering yelling out, when I suddenly felt something press against my buttocks. It took me only a second to realize it was this guy's dick...and it was very big and very hard. I was stunned, and I immediately tried to twist away, but his hands tightened their grip, and he pressed his dick even harder against my butt.

"What...what do you...what do you want?" I whispered again as I was suddenly filled with uneasy excitement. My pulse rate had probably doubled, and I was already breathing hard.

The guy didn't answer. Instead he very slowly started humping against my buttocks, letting his dick slide up and down between my soapy cheeks.

My head was suddenly spinning and my own dick was fully erect again. My mind was telling me I had to get away from this guy, but my body was becoming increasingly aroused.

For a brief moment, I just stood there motionless as this guy slowly humped my butt. I could tell his breathing was getting more rapid, and it was becoming obvious he had something else in mind besides beating me up. I cut a quick glance back towards the entrance to the shower room, praying the light wouldn't suddenly come back on or someone walk in with a flashlight.

As I found myself becoming increasingly excited, I began ever so slowly pushing my buttocks back against his dick. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking he was going to suddenly say "see, I knew you were a fag!"

I knew this could all be some sick game to test me, and I didn't want to become so completely aroused by what this freak was doing, but I just couldn't help myself. His dick was so big and so hard and it felt so incredibly good rubbing against my buttocks. Even stranger was the fact that my anus was tingling and I was filled with this crazy urge to feel his big dick inside of me. I know it was an insane thought, but I was just so damn turned on.

I guess my attacker realized I was no longer fighting to get away, and his hands relaxed their grip on my arms and then slowly slid down to my waist. I knew I could have easily twisted away from him, but I no longer wanted to. Instead, I began to slowly bend over, wiggling my buttocks as I pushed back against his dick. I knew it was like I was offering my ass to him, and he picked up the pace of his thrust, grasping my hips and pulling me back against him while grinding his cock between my cheeks. I could hear his breathing pick up even more, and I knew he was really aroused and close to coming.

He suddenly pulled back and then I felt the head of his big dick probing between my buttocks obviously in search of my anus. I immediately bent even further over while reaching back grasping his dick and guiding the big head down between my cheeks to my anus. I was both terrified and incredibly excited. I had only experimented with anal sex once in my life, yet here I was offering myself to this mysterious big dick stranger.

He pushed his dick forward until the big head was pressing against my tight entrance. His dick was obviously well lubricated with soap or lotion, and as he pushed forward, it began to slowly ease inside of me.

My ass began to burn and I groaned and immediately shot my load almost as if it were a reflex action to the initial excitement at being penetrated. As he pushed deeper, I gritted my teeth and clinched my fist and began pushing back, forcing his dick deeper inside of me. He groaned as his body tensed, and then he suddenly thrust forward burying his dick inside my ass. I felt brief sharp, intense pain, and I groaned and almost cried out as I came a second time.

His body shook and his dick began to spasm, and he let out a low guttural groan as he grasped my hips pressing even deeper inside me. I felt the surge of warmth inside my ass and I knew it was his cum, and I began wiggling back against him, wanting to help finish him off. He let out a loud sigh as he made a few slow thrusts. Then, he tightened his grip on my hips again and made one last hard thrust, holding his dick deep inside of me as he finished cumming.

He held on like that for a long moment as we got our breathing back under control. Strangely, his dick actually felt good inside of me...a little weird but good, and it was so deep! I guess I was getting use to it too because it didn't even hurt anymore.

I didn't want it to end, and I began wiggling my butt and letting his dick slide back in forth inside of me. For the first time in my life, I had really been fucked by a man and his cum was inside me.

He suddenly chuckled as he gave me a light smack on the butt and then let his dick slide from inside of me. I had heard that chuckle before but couldn't put it with a specific face, although I was certain this was a black guy. I let out a satisfied sigh as I stood up and turned around. I was hoping to be able to tell who it was, but he had backed away to the other shower to rinse off. I was considering moving over and seeing if I could help him wash his dick, when seemingly out of nowhere two strong hands grabbed my shoulders. I knew immediately this was a second guy. I wasn't immediately sure what was going on, and my first thought was it was a drill sergeant. I tried to twist away, but the guy tightened his grip on my shoulders and started forcing me down on my knees. Then as I tried to stand back up, the guy put his hands on the top of my head and my shoulder holding me down. I couldn't see who it was and I was terrified.

As I tried to twist away again, I felt something hot brush against my cheek and the bridge of my nose. I started to pull back but the guy pulled my head forward and my face was suddenly pressed against what I quickly realized was the guy's crotch. I immediately stopped struggling as I realized this guy's intent was to get me to suck his dick, which seemed to pulsate as it brushed against my lips. I was suddenly filled with excitement as his strong masculine aroma of his dick filled my nostrils.

Before I could decide my next move, the guy tightened his grip and pulled my face even harder against his dick, which already appeared to be stiffening. My nose was pressed into his wiry pubic hair, and I knew immediately this was a black guy.

"Suck it, faggot! You know you want it," I heard the guy say in a low voice that I immediately recognized as Nelson.

I heard another guy chuckle somewhere in the darkness to my right and now I was sure the guy who had fucked me had been one of Nelson's friends. I knew I had been set up by these guys, and I was about to protest when Nelson pushed the head of his dick against my lips. My natural reaction was to open my mouth and his dick immediately plunged between my parted lips and all the way to the back of my throat. I fought the urge to gag as my lips settled around his huge shaft. I swear I barely had even half of it inside my mouth and I could tell he wasn't even fully erect.

"That's it," he said as he started easing his dick back and forth.

Any pretense that I was fighting this was lost when I reached up and grasp his buttocks, pulling him forward as his dick plunged even deeper into the back of my throat.

I quickly started enthusiastically working on his dick as it stiffened to full erection. He groaned as I used my tongue to trace the outline of the bulging head and then down the length of his shaft. Then I nuzzled his dick with my nose as I licked his huge balls, taking in the aroma of his masculinity. He seemed to be enjoying my efforts but pulled my lips back to his dick, and I quickly let it sink deep into my mouth.

He began to slowly thrust into my mouth, going deeper each time. I knew he was excited, and I could tell he was close, so I reached up and cupped his balls. He groaned and tightened his grip on the back of my head. Then I felt his dick pulsate and stiffen before erupting with hot sperm spraying into the back of my throat. I was not ready for the volume of his cum and my mouth was quickly flooded, and since I was unable to swallow, some of it spewed from my lips and dribbled down my chin.

He made several more thrust forward with his dick spewing hot sperm in spasms. I swear it was almost like he was pissing in my mouth. I had never experienced a guy coming like this.

He gradually loosened his grip and I was able to taste his salty, tangy cum as I let it linger briefly on my tongue, savoring the flavor before I started hungrily swallowing every last drop. I suddenly wanted every bit of his cum!

After I had pretty much cleaned him up, he suddenly pulled back.

"Next up," he said and then disappeared into the darkness.

Before I could stand up, another guy stepped forward, and his hand slipped to the back of my head urging me forward. I quickly reached up in the darkness grasping his buttocks and pulling him to me as I let his semi-erect dick slide into my mouth. I was certain this guy was black too, but I had no idea who it was and I really didn't care at that moment. My only thought was making him cum, which hardly took me two minutes. His dick wasn't as big as Nelson's but his load was every bit as huge. His dick spurted thick gobs of his hot cum into the back of my throat.

He must have been nervous about getting caught, because seconds after he came, he pulled away and disappeared without a word, leaving me kneeling there on the floor hoping for more. My dick was fully erect again, and I was still very aroused and ready for another dick, but there were no other guys in the shower room.

I quickly jerked off beneath the shower and I swear I saw stars when I came!

Feelings of guilt and regret were already seeping in before I climbed back into my bunk. I lay awake a long time considering the ramifications of what I had done. My secret was certainly out. At least three guys knew the real truth about me, and I knew instinctively that those three would be talking. My worse fear was that word would now spread and either I'd get beaten up by some of the fag haters or reported to one of the drill sergeants. Either way I would be outed and my career in the military would be over before it really even got started. I almost resolved myself to the fact I wasn't going to make it through basic training. Surely, there was no place in the Army for guys like me.

The next morning my butt was still burning and underwear wet from cum leaking from inside of my ass, reminding me that what happen in the shower wasn't a dream and I had been fucked by one of the members of my platoon. I wanted to think I was as masculine as the next guy, but I wasn't feeling so manly anymore, and I knew no normal guy would ever let himself get fucked like that. What made it even worse was that I really liked it. I wasn't too keen on the idea of being labeled as a fag, but after what happened last night, I was even having trouble continuing to deny what my sexual urges were telling me.