Picture of Betrayal

Jerry: Shayne, could we meet somewhere for coffee, today?

In all the years I'd known Jerry we never once had coffee or a beer together without the girls so obviously he wanted to talk about Stacy. I still had some residual anger and wasn't sure I was ready to talk about the situation without blowing up again but he had something on his mind so I thought I might as well see what it was. We met at a Starbuck's about halfway between his place and the studio.

"How's it going," was his greeting as he sat down across the little table from me. I just stared at him. "Sorry, I guess that's a pretty stupid question."

"Well—under the circumstances..." I just left it there. "Did she move back into the house?"

"No, she's still staying with us. She's pretty devastated and Gwen doesn't think she should be alone yet. The only time she stops crying is to curse herself for hurting you."

I nodded my head to acknowledge his statement and wasn't really too surprised. I figured she'd be going through a lot of the same torture I was. I couldn't help that though, it was of her own making. "Has she said anything about why? I thought..." I stopped and wondered if I wanted to know why but Jerry answered before I had a chance to retract my question.

"That's about all she and Gwen talk about...why. I don't think she really has a definitive answer. There were a lot of factors. There was even a stupid romance novel she read in high school that played a part."

"Oh come on," I expressed my disbelief.

"No, it's true. It was about a woman who had an affair and the book made it sound like it was the most romantic experience any woman could have. That and it also had a lot to do with jealousy."

"Jealousy? What's she got to be jealous about; the models?"

"No, no, it has nothing to do with them. Well," he thought for a second, "maybe indirectly it did but she's jealous of your profession. To her your work is exciting and romantic. She was talking about that time you took pictures of that big rock band for their CD cover..."

"She was there," I said, remembering the instance. "She came with me that day. She wanted to meet them so I brought her along on the shoot. They rented the old Playboy mansion on Parkway Avenue and we did it there. Hell, she spent more time with them than I did because I was busy getting everything set up and rigged. I remember how she flirted with the drummer. I thought it was funny. She was like a star-struck teenager. You remember, shit it was all she talked about for a month."

"I know, she still talks about it like it was the most exciting thing that ever happened to her. That was all she talked about when we had dinner at Alpine's one night—remember?

Alpine's was restaurant not far from where we lived. I thought back. "Yeah, I do remember."

"Remember who else had dinner with us that night?"

It had been a couple years so I had to think. Then it dawned on me. "Joe and Doris," I recalled.

"Ah huh," he confirmed. "You and I didn't think much about it but Joe picked up on it. Did you know he started stopping by your house after that, always saying he was just in neighborhood?"

"No, Stacy never said a thing."

"That's because he asked her not to. He told her Doris was extremely jealous and she'd have a fit if she knew he simply stopped for coffee once in a while. He evidently spotted the fact that Stacy envied you and used it to his advantage. He kept talking to her about ways to spice up her life, that's when he started to recommend getting a little on the side."

"It sounds like he's done this before," I suggested.

"Yep, he even admitted it to her. He made her promise not to say anything to anybody, then he told her he once had an extramarital affair and made it sound like it was the most exciting thing he'd ever done in his life. Of course he advised her to do the same. That's when she remembered the book."

Jerry took a swig of coffee and continued. "At first she told him she'd be afraid to do anything like that. She knew if you ever found out you'd toss her out on her ear, but Wexler convinced her you'd never find out. It would be her own dirty little secret. Of course she'd have to do it with someone she could trust...three guesses who he proposed. I guess she always thought he was a good looking guy so the offer wasn't totally disgusting to her."

Hearing Jerry explain what happened, I was sorry I hadn't kicked Wexler in the nuts a couple times when I had the chance.

"It took him a while but evidently he's a patient bastard. Stacy said he had convinced her it would be exciting and romantic but she was just too scared to go through with it for a long time. Then you had a job out of town for a couple of days. When she told Wexler about it he immediately started making plans. She said it was all so clandestine. As long as she knew you'd never find out, it was fun. She created a fantasy world—a romantic, enlivening fantasy world. She was Mata Hari, Betty Page, and Cleopatra all rolled into one. Of course she only life her little fantasy when you were out of town."

I thought about Wexler playing her like that. "Damn, I'd love another shot at that asshole, Wexler, next time in some secluded alley somewhere."

"You'd have to find him first," Jerry replied. "Nobody's seen hide nor hair of him. Personally, I think Doris has him buried in the basement," he chuckled.

"I wish she'd have said something, I would have bought her a new shovel," I joked. "I can't believe Stacy fell for his bullshit like that. If she was looking for excitement she should have taken up skydiving instead of something that would cost her, her marriage."

Jerry sighed. "No way back?" he asked.

"I wish there was," I replied with a sigh of my own. "It wasn't just once. If it was the first time and she hadn't gone through with it-maybe, but they'd been together before. It was obvious from the text messages I saw."

"Twice," Jerry confirmed.

"Huh?"

"Twice, she'd been with him twice before, not counting the last time because you broke that up before they'd had a chance to do anything."

"Yeah, and if I hadn't it would have been three times, and probably a fourth and a fifth—no, I'm not going to work every day wondering if my wife is living her fantasy by screwing some other guy; it's not happening, Jerry.

"Yeah, I can certainly understand that. Stacy understands too. She has no hope of you guys getting back together. I just thought...well, if there was the slightest chance maybe I could..."

"I appreciate the thought, Jerry, but Stacy had to know the risks she was taking before she ever fucked that asshole."

"So," he said, trying to lighten the mood a little, "is your job really that exciting?"

I chuckled. "I don't know about exciting but it's interesting. Every day is a challenge to come up with new, innovative ideas, something to make your work stand out from the rest. It's fun. I know an old timer who's been in the business all his life. He says we have to think outside the box to come up with new ways to shoot the box."

We sat and talked through two more cups of coffee before taking off. I liked him. It was the first time I'd talked to him without the girls around. He was funny and a pretty good conversationalist.

One thing our little talk made me realize...there was no way back for Stacy and I. For the last couple of days I had been fighting with myself, trying to find a way to put my anger aside...to forgive and forget, but after our conversation I accepted the inevitable. It had nothing to do with my anger anymore. It didn't even have anything to do with forgiving, but you can't force yourself to forget something like that and you can't force yourself to trust someone you no longer trust. It was over and there was nothing either of us could do to change that.

Sleep was a little easier coming that night, although I did lay awake thinking for a while. It would take a long time before the feelings of loss and sadness would go away.

I was up early Sunday morning. Even though I had unpacked my car, the equipment was still packed in travel cases. I had to get everything set up for Alecta's shoot. That took a good hour, after which I took a shower and went out for breakfast. By the time I got back Marcy was in the office making coffee. I told her my ideas for using Alecta for the jewelry shoot we had coming up but warned her against saying anything yet. I didn't want to disappoint Alecta right off the bat if the client didn't approve her.

The following month we had a big shoot coming up. We were going down to the Chicago loop at one in the morning and shooting till just after dawn. It was a big advertising campaign for a local jewelry store franchise. We already had all the permits and since the girls would be wearing thousands of dollars' worth of jewelry, the client ordered security for us. It was slated for two models and I was hoping for Alecta to be one of them. She was perfect for what I was looking for.

Monique and Donna showed up within a few minutes of each other so I explained what I was looking for from each of them. When Alecta walked in all three members of my crew looked at each other and smiled. She was beautiful even without make-up. Immediately the girls surrounded her and helped with her wardrobe while showing her to the dressing room in the back.

After getting her settled, Marcy left Alecta to the expertise of Monique and Donna and came out to help get the studio ready.

"That girl is gorgeous," she said. "I can't wait to see what she does in front of a camera."

"Me either," I agreed.

By the end of the day Alecta had proven to everyone that she was every bit the natural I thought she was. I gave her tips on how to play to the camera and to be aware of the lighting. She moved with grace and took direction like a pro.

We shot for four hours with intermittent breaks to redo make-up and change hair styles. By the time we were through we had a couple hundred pictures showing three entirely different looks and several wardrobe changes. Everyone was excited to see them so Marcy made another pot of coffee while I uploaded everything into the computer. For the next hour we all oooh'd and aaaah'd at the stunning images.

I had a full day on Monday so I promised to have some of the shots edited and retouched that night. It was three in the morning when I fired off emails to the crew. I had ten shots that highlighted the different hair styles for Donna, another ten that emphasized the make-up for Monique, and twenty five shots for Alecta.

I was so tired by the time I hit the sack I barely thought of Stacy at all before dropping off into dreamland.

The next morning, as life slowly started to materialize from unconsciousness, my neurons paused in a dreamlike state as I thought I smelled coffee. A voice along with a gentle shake of my shoulder told me it was no dream. I opened my eyes.

"It's time to get up, lazy-bones." Marcy stood next to the bed with big grin, presenting me with a cup of java. I started to reach for the cup when I realized the reason for her grin...I always slept in the nude. I quickly looked down and saw I was completely uncovered and sporting morning wood.

"Marcy!" I yelled as I tuned a bright red and pulled the sheet over me.

"Oh relax, for heaven's sake. I've seen things like that before," she said with a giggle. She set the coffee on a nearby stool. "It's almost seven-thirty," she remarked as she stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Seven-thirty? Shit, I had a ton of things to do and I overslept. I grabbed a quick gulp of magic elixir and jumped in the shower. Twenty minutes later I joined Marcy who was looking at Alecta's pictures.

"Damn, Shayne, these are incredible. This girl has a real career ahead of her if she doesn't botch it."

"Yeah, I don't think she's the kind to botch it." I clicked on another separate file. "Here are the test shots for next month's jewelry campaign. I'm going to send them off today and see if Chaz agrees that she's right for it."

Chaz Martin was the account executive for the Sterling Jewelry Store chain, my biggest client.

"Shayne, I don't see how he can't agree. She's perfect."

"Well, we'll see. You know how fickle this industry can be. I'm not saying anything to Alecta until I have a firm commitment from him."

I looked at the day's schedule. I had two shoots; both were in the studio and neither was a big production. I looked at the clock. It was almost eight-forty five. I was going to wait until nine before calling Brite Newcomb, my attorney, so I went ahead and sent chaz the file of test shots I wanted him to see.

"Are you hungry? You want me to run to Denny's and get you something?"

What would I ever do without Marcy? It seems I ask myself that about twenty times a day. I'd hired her three years prior. She was only nineteen at the time. She was studying Graphic Arts at Columbia University and needed a job for the summer. By the end of the summer she had fallen in love with photography and decided she could learn more with me than in college. I offered her full-time employment and she's been with me ever since.

She wasn't bad looking—long blond hair, blue eyes, just a little on the heavy side but she carried it well. Now that I was getting a divorce I wouldn't mind dating her except for one thing...her boyfriend. I don't think he'd go for it at all. They'd been going together for more than a year and I was sure they'd be tying the knot before too much longer.

I gave her a twenty and told her to get something for both of us. After she left I called my attorney and told him what I wanted. I was willing to give her the house lock-stock-and barrel if she agreed to give up any claim on the business. I wasn't sure of the exact amount but I was pretty sure we had seventy to eighty thousand in equity. He said he'd draw up the paperwork and have it ready for me to sign in a couple of days.

By the time I was done with the phone call Marcy was back with our food. We talked and joked around a little then had to get to work. We were just starting to set up for our first shoot when the phone rang.

"Burke's Photography."

"Who is she, Shayne? You're right, she's perfect for the Sterling shoot. I assume she's available or you wouldn't have sent me the test shots?"

"Her name's Alecta. I didn't want to get her hopes up before getting the job but I'm pretty sure it'll fit into her schedule."

"When can you nail it down? I'll need to know pretty quick," he replied.

"I should have word for you tomorrow," I told him.

"Great," chaz replied. "The job pays twelve hundred. I assume that'll be okay with her?"

"I'm sure that'll be fine, Chaz, but don't you have to clear it with Sterling's?"

"Nah, they trust my judgement when it comes to the models. No, she's in," he stated.

We talked just a little longer before hanging up. Evidently Marcy overheard the conversation. She was waiting for me when I joined her in the studio. "Well, that should get you laid," she said with a big grin.

There were a few things wrong with that. One, I wasn't divorced yet. Two, Alecta was a little young for me. She couldn't have been more than twenty or twenty-one, and three, I would never put her, or any model in a position where she thought it was quid-pro-quo for getting her the job. Marcy knew me better than that.

We had a couple hours between shoots so I called Alecta's cell and left a message for her to call me when she had some time. It was a little after four when she returned the call. After getting the greeting out of the way I got right to the point.

"You just got your first modeling gig," I told her. Her scream almost deafened me. After checking to see if my eardrum was still intact I continued.

"It's going to be a night shoot. We have two locations picked out in the Loop. You might want to see if you can get the following day off because the shoot is from one in the morning till around six. I want to get a few shots at sunrise."

She sounded a little hesitant until I told her how much it paid.

"Twelve hundred dollars?" she screamed again. "Oh my God, that's almost as much as I make in a month."

"The ad agency will have a van there. That's where you'll have your make-up and hair done. It also serves as a dressing room so you'll have your privacy except for the other model who you'll be working with. There'll be security guards as well so you'll be nice and safe."

"Security Guards?" she questioned.

"Oh yeah--you'll be wearing a couple hundred thousand dollars' worth of jewelry throughout the night. We always have armed guards with us when we shoot for them."

"Oh my God," she was still screaming, "this is so exciting."

I think she was actually jumping up and down while she was screaming. It was great to hear that kind of enthusiasm.

"Okay, we have twenty-three days to get you ready. You did great during the shoot but this is going to be different. You'll be working with another model while flow posing. That means going from one pose to another without me telling how to pose. It can be tricky with two of you. You have to play off each other. Will you be able to come into the studio to work on it for the next few weekends?"

"Absolutely," she responded.

I know I had a smile on my face when we hung up. Marcy asked if she was excited. I told her that was a gross understatement...my ears were still ringing.

In spite of my impending divorce, I'd actually been having a pretty good week. I felt good about Alecta, we landed a new client, and we had done some really kick-ass work for a couple of clients who couldn't stop singing our praises.

Thursday afternoon I heard the fax machine going. Since I had several jobs coming up I figured it was someone's itinerary. I was wrong. One by one the machine was spitting out the divorce papers Brite had drawn up. Once again they brought my divorce to the forefront of everything that was happening around me.

My mood fell like a big black curtain. I still had some work to do on the computer but we were done shooting for the day so I gave Marcy the rest of the day off. I went into the office, grabbed a cup of coffee, and sat down to read through the documents. They were just as I asked. On the surface it looked very generous but the long-term earning potential of the studio was a lot more than she would get for the house. Still, if she sold it she would get a sizable lump sum which would give her a new start. She also kept her car which was paid off, fifty percent of the fifteen grand we had in the savings, and almost all the furniture. All I wanted was what I'd already taken, my office equipment. As far as I was concerned it was a win-win. I hoped she'd see it the same way.

It took me a while to get through everything. Legal jargon is not the easiest to read. I was contemplating delivering the papers to Stacy that night. I looked at the clock and decided to go eat dinner and wait until the following night. I knew in my own mind I was just looking for an excuse to put it off another day. I couldn't help it. This was one of those things you really didn't want to do but knew it had to be done...just not that night; besides, I wasn't even sure she was still at Jerry and Gwen's.

I walked down to Denny's then moped around the studio doing a little editing but my heart really wasn't in it. I finally lay down but didn't get a lot of sleep. I kept second guessing myself. As decisions go, this would be among the three most important of my life. The first such decision was asking Stacy to marry me. Next was to open my own business. That one was a little easier because of Stacy's support. She believed in me a hundred and ten percent. Now I was trying to decide whether I could live the rest of my life without her.