Pinar Ch. 03: Richard Again

I stayed away from Pinar for a couple of days after her announcement that she was in love with me. One night of sex, even great sex, was not enough to fall in love with me, and she'd realize that once she had time to think about it. If that sounds a little hypocritical, since I said before that I was half in love with her, it's not. It's easy for an old man like me to fall in love with someone as young and beautiful as she is. But, while it wouldn't be impossible for her to fall in love with me, it would take a whole lot longer.

And, I was sure she'd find someone a lot better than me before that happened.  So, if I really cared about her and wanted her to be happy, the best thing to do would be to get out of her way. Except, she had other ideas, meaning the letter she wrote me that said I was wrong. She obviously asked one of my friends for the email address, but it doesn't matter how she got it. What matters is what she wrote in it, because after I read it, there was only one thing I could do. Negotiate the terms of my surrender.

You didn't expect me to keep fighting after I read that letter, did you? I mean, look at how long she had to beg me to get me to teach her about sex, less than 5 seconds actually. Making her wait a few days, and tell me again, was to be sure she really wanted me to make love to her. The same thing goes for telling her that she just thought she was in love with me. Once she made it clear that our one night of sex wasn't the only reason she felt that way, I had to believe her. Especially when she confessed to lying to me about never having done those things before.

Because, my being the first person to make love to her would never be a good enough reason for her to fall in love with me. But, my being the only one to make her enjoy sex, after she'd already tried it with more than a few others, was a reason I could accept. And that was all I needed, to stop me from pushing her away, a reason for loving me that I could believe in. That she'd loved me, or thought she did, for the last two years, just made it easier to understand why she'd chosen me in the first place, that's all.

As for negotiating the terms of our affair, there were obviously more things to work out than just what she'd written in her letter. For example, while she and I would like to make love every chance we got, it wouldn't be smart to do it on every one of my exercise days. We also didn't want what we had to be only about sex, since that would cheapen what we felt for each other. What we finally decided on was that she would join the gym too, so we could at least be together on those nights. We would actually exercise on Monday and Wednesday, although we'd quit early on Monday to spend some time at her place.

And, we'd skip the gym completely on Fridays, to be together as well. But Wednesday nights after the gym, and maybe an hour or two on Fridays, would be spent with my friends, like they were before we became lovers. That wasn't just my decision either, that was something that Pinar wanted as much as I did, or maybe even more. Because, while she knew my wife could never know about our love for each other, she didn't want to be a complete secret. So, one of her terms was that at least my best friend, and his girlfriend, would know all about it, and that we'd act like the lovers we were in front of them.

My friends were both shocked and pleased when they first found out about us. Shocked that someone as beautiful as Pinar would want to be with me, and wasn't after a wedding ring. And pleased that I was finally doing something about my sex life besides just bitching. Pinar confided in Biray, my friend's girlfriend, about her problem, because she also wanted someone else who understood. So, they both stopped being suspicious of our relationship, and just accepted that we really were in love with each other.

We made that part of it obvious too, when we weren't in places where word would get back to my wife. Like holding hands as we walked, or her cuddling up to me in restaurants and bars. In other words, acting like our friends, or any other normal couple would act. Except that it wasn't an act, because all of it came naturally, the holding hands, the cuddling, and the frequent kisses. Because, we were a couple, a couple in love, and not afraid to show it.

As for the sexual side of things, the reason we became a couple in the first place, we quickly worked out a plan for that. Since we had plenty of time for making love on Fridays, we would do everything we did on our first date, except the finger fucking. Pinar would give me a nice blow job, followed by me eating her pussy while I got her asshole ready. Then, I'd fuck her there, followed by another blow job and ending with me licking her clean. After that, we'd decide whether to go out with our friends, or keep making love, repeating the things we enjoyed the most.

Once a month though, we would have fantasy night, where we'd try something different. Like tying each other to the bed, for some long drawn out tongue torture. Or maybe something really dirty, like the kinds of games you can only play in the shower. Monday was another thing entirely, because we didn't have time to do all the things we wanted. So, we wrote down the things we liked, put them in a jar, then picked them out one at a time until we ran out of time to do any more.

While we were careful when we were out in full public view, we knew there was still a chance my wife would find out about us. After 6 months though, I really didn't care if she did, and stopped worrying about it. I mean, she hadn't changed at all during that time, still giving me only one blow job a month and thinking that was enough. So, I had plenty of justification if she wanted to make an issue of my cheating. And, since it hadn't affected her or the kids in any way, I seriously doubted she'd file for a divorce if she did find out.

She'd scream and yell, and maybe threaten to divorce me, but she had too much to lose to go through with it. Still, we'd both figured she'd confront me at home, since she'd have all the advantages there. That's why we were both so shocked when it finally did happen, because it was while Pinar and I were eating lunch one day. My wife had obviously planned it though, because she usually told me when she was coming to the base, so I could arrange my lunch accordingly. This time she showed up unannounced, walked up to the table where we were sitting, and in a normal voice said "so this is the bitch you've been fucking".

Even though we were caught off guard, and I couldn't speak for a minute, Pinar recovered quickly, and gave what I now consider the perfect response. She fell back on the words she first said to me on that subject by telling my wife she wished I could fuck her. Then before my wife reacted to that, she went on to say she couldn't fuck anyone because she was broken inside. So, no matter what my wife thought or how much she might wish it was otherwise, we were just friends. I didn't have to pretend shock at her words, because I was shocked that she'd said anything at all.

But my wife took my shock to mean I hadn't known Pinar wished she could fuck me, which made her take a step back from her accusation. Pinar then pulled out her 'green book', which is their hospital passport, since they have a kind of socialized medicine here. And, she showed my wife where it said she had MRKH, and Google'd it on her phone to show her what it meant. My wife started back pedaling and apologizing all over the place, never once thinking we might be doing the things we were doing. Then, still completely embarrassed about what she'd said, my wife ran out of the store and headed home. After that, Pinar and I talked for a few minutes, about how I should take advantage of the situation, then I too left.

When I got home after work, I pretended anger at my wife, instead of relief that she'd been so easily fooled. Then when she asked why, I told her she knew, before saying that what she'd done to Pinar had been very cruel, considering her problem. She defended herself by saying it was obvious that I wanted to fuck Pinar, and she admitted that she wanted to fuck me. I laughed at that and told her that Pinar hadn't meant that she actually wanted to fuck me. She just meant that she wouldn't care who the guy was if she could finally fuck someone. If she could fuck though, she could get any guy she wanted, and sure wouldn't pick me.

That's the only reason we were friends, because I was the only guy who didn't care whether she could fuck or not. Well, that and because my sitting with her every day kept other guys from hitting on her. I mean, it hurt every time they rejected her when they found out, especially the good looking men. So, me eating lunch with her saved her from having to deal with that all the time. But, while we saw each other almost every day, I wasn't stupid enough to think she was interested in me as more than just a friend.

Like Pinar said it would, me telling her that, threw her off our trail, and made her believe there really was nothing between us. However, that weekend I found out that her knowing about Pinar's problem had affected her another way. Because she brought the subject up during our monthly oral sex session, by saying that Pinar could always do the same things we were doing. I rose up from eating her pussy to say she could, but I wasn't the right person to suggest it to her. She asked why not, we were friends and I already knew about her problem, didn't I? I said that it wasn't that I couldn't talk about it; it was that Pinar might think I was offering to do it with her.

My wife asked if I expected her to believe I hadn't thought about doing this with her, and I said that was my point. She'd already accused me of fucking Pinar, so if I was the one who gave Pinar the idea, she'd think we were doing that now. My wife laughed and said I'd side stepped the question by talking about what she'd think. I shook my head and said I hadn't, I'd just answered the next question first. Because, as she'd said, I'd obviously thought about doing those things, and Pinar might see that in my face and think it was an offer. I didn't want to lose Pinar as a friend by doing that, and I didn't want her to be jealous of my friendship, so she should stop talking about it.

She didn't stop talking about it though; she brought it up again two minutes after she started sucking my cock. She pulled away, looked up at me and asked if I was imagining Pinar doing this instead of her. I could have played along, but I didn't trust my wife's motives in saying these things. So, I told her I knew what she was trying to do, get me thinking about it so much that I'd tell Pinar. Then when Pinar rejected me, it would ruin our friendship, and she wouldn't have to worry about her anymore.

My wife told me I was wrong if I thought Pinar would turn me down, because she'd been looking at me, not my wife, when she said she wished she could fuck me. That meant she was watching to see if I got the message that she wanted me. I said she was stretching things, and that Pinar was probably just trying to make sure I didn't get the wrong message. Why else would she have been so quick to change it to 'anybody' instead of leaving it at just me?  My wife said that was for her, so she wouldn't get jealous of the fact that she wanted to fuck me. The truth though was that she did want me, and wouldn't say no if I offered this instead.

I told her that she was the one imagining things now, and if she wasn't, it just made things worse. Because if Pinar took it as an offer, and accepted that offer, what was I supposed to do? When my wife said push her to her knees and shove my cock in her mouth, I said yeah, and get a lawyer the next day too. She laughed and said she wouldn't have brought it up if she planned to divorce me because of it, and I said 'bullshit'. We quit swinging after one try because of her jealousy, or was that her plan? To have me do something with Pinar, then say she was too jealous to let me do it again. Then, because we wouldn't be able to go back to being just friends, we'd stop that too, like we did with the couple we had sex with.

She said this wasn't the same, because she'd only gotten jealous when I made love to the girl, not when she sucked my cock. And, since I couldn't make love to Pinar, she wouldn't get jealous. I said what about me eating Pinar's pussy, since she'd want some kind of pleasure too. Or maybe fucking her in the ass, if I could talk her into it, how would she feel then? When she said she'd love to see those, I told her that was enough pillow talk for one night. Because, we both knew she'd change her mind as soon as she stopped being horny.

She did stop talking about it, because she filled her mouth with my cock, and not much later, with my sperm as well. I'm fairly sure she'd still been thinking about it though, since there seemed to be more enthusiasm in her sucking than usual. She confirmed that it was still on her mind too, by offering a repeat the next night, something she only did on rare occasions. And sure enough, less than a minute after I started eating her pussy, she opened the subject all over again by saying she really thought I should talk to Pinar. I told her there was no reason to do that, because I was sure Pinar already knew she could do other things in bed.

She said that was probably true, but Pinar might think those things wouldn't be enough to make me happy in bed. All I needed to tell her was that getting to fuck her mouth and asshole on a regular basis would be more than enough, and she'd be all over me. I told her again that Pinar and I were just friends, and that I knew she didn't want me like that. So, while it was kind of hot thinking about having sex with Pinar, it was just a fantasy and should stay a fantasy.

I was enjoying playing this game with my wife, even though I did want Pinar and I to be able to make love openly. That's because I still thought my wife would ruin everything with her jealousy once she saw it for real, and I didn't want to take that chance. But she kept raising the stakes, and raised them again by saying she didn't want it to stay a fantasy. She knew I'd love to get Pinar in bed and whether I believed it or not, Pinar wanted it too. So, why was I fighting against it so much, when she told me she wanted it as well? I told her again that it was because of what she did the last time we shared our bed with other people.

She was the one who'd wanted it the most, and who arranged everything. Then, as soon as we did it, she got jealous and we not only never did it after that, she stopped being friends with them. What guarantee did I have that this time wouldn't turn out the same way? The couple had been her friends, not mine, so it hadn't hurt me that much when we stopped talking to them. But Pinar was my friend, and I didn't want to ruin that friendship just to put on a show for her. Or was the reason she wanted Pinar in our bed more than just so she could watch? Is that what this was about, that she had the hots for Pinar herself, and I was just an excuse?

Those words, my fingers, and the licking I was doing when I wasn't talking, we're enough to push her over the edge. Still, when she moved down to suck my cock, she denied that she wanted anything from Pinar. Instead, she said something I never thought I'd hear from her lips, since she'd always felt that the sex she gave me should be enough. She said she knew she wasn't giving me everything I needed in bed, and that I needed more than what I got from her. But, I was right that she was too jealous to let me fuck another woman. Pinar though, wouldn't make her jealous, because we couldn't fuck.

And the things we could do, even ass fucking, made her hot, not jealous. That's why she wanted me to make the offer to Pinar, not because she wanted to make love to Pinar herself. As for wanting to watch, she only wanted to see how I looked when I was happy in bed, because she knew I never really was when we had sex. Besides, maybe seeing what Pinar and I did would help her to be better for me in bed too. That's all this was about, trying to make up for the way she'd been neglecting my needs all these years.

I still didn't believe her, because there was something in the way she said it that sounded practiced, like she'd spent some time trying to get the words right. That meant she was hiding something, although whether it was some lesbian fantasy, or a plan to end whatever Pinar and I had, I don't know. But, rather than call her on it, I decided to use it to my advantage, and set some terms on my agreement. So I asked how I could be sure she wouldn't get jealous again, because as I said, I didn't want to risk losing Pinar as a friend. Besides, if this was supposedly to give me the sex I needed, it couldn't be just a onetime thing.

Before I did this, she had to agree that if Pinar wanted to keep doing it, we'd get to keep doing it. She said that was the whole idea, that Pinar would become my mistress or something like that, and could join us in bed whenever she wanted. I told her I'd already figured that much out from the way she talked about it. What I meant though was what would happen if she got jealous again like she had the last time. If she really wanted me to take this risk, she had to promise that no matter how jealous she got, Pinar and I would still get one night a week to be together.

That promise wasn't just for me either, because I was sure Pinar would want some kind of guarantee too. That is, if she was even interested in the first place, which I still seriously doubted. My wife had been slowly sucking me, while I was talking, and lifted her head to say that she was sure about Pinar. So sure in fact, that she had some conditions of her own, that she knew Pinar wouldn't hesitate to agree to. The first of those was that Pinar had to do it all in our bed, with my wife watching. Second, she had to try everything, sucking my cock, me eating her pussy, and me fucking her in the ass too.

Third, she had to finish whatever she started, meaning even if she didn't enjoy them she had to keep going until I came in her mouth and asshole. And fourth, she had to do it this week, on Friday, because my wife didn't want to wait anymore to make this happen. When she finished her list, I told her she was crazy if she thought I could tell Pinar what she'd just said. Actually, we know I could have very easily, and that the only thing I might have to talk her into was doing it in front of my wife. But, I had to keep acting as if we weren't lovers already, and this was what I would have said if we hadn't been.

My wife though, had an answer for that, and after finishing the blow job, she told me what it was. She understood how difficult it would be for me to explain all this to Pinar; especially since I was still scared she'd end our friendship if I tried. So my wife was going to take away all the risk, by writing everything we talked about in a letter. All I had to do was give Pinar the sealed letter, telling her it was from my wife, and let her know what the answer was.

Since it would be from her, and wouldn't tell Pinar that we'd talked about this, there'd be no reason for Pinar to get mad at me. But, she knew Pinar wouldn't get mad anyway, because she wanted me that bad. After telling me that, she chased me out of the room, saying I'd be even safer if I didn't know what the letter said. She was in there for almost two hours, I guess it took that long to get the wording right. Then she did exactly what she'd said she would, and gave me a sealed envelope to give to Pinar. Of course, Pinar let me read it after she finished, and while I can't write it verbatim, I can give you an idea of what it said.

She started with another apology to Pinar for accusing her and I of having sex together. Then she said she wanted to explain why she'd thought we were having an affair, because those reasons were what prompted this letter. The first was something difficult for her to admit, that she wasn't giving me as much sex as she should be. And she knew that I'd start cheating on her sooner or later, to get the sex I needed. The second reason was what she saw that day, when she walked into the BX, something we might not even realize. She saw two people sitting there, looking at each other the way lovers do, not the way friends do.