Poor Debbie

Something to amuse you.

Weren't at all sure where to submit this, and maybe it should have been in Voyeur and Exhibitionist, or perhaps humour. However I decided to risk entering the cauldron of Loving Wives because that's the one I know the best, and where my friends (and my enemies) hang out.

Please note, EVERYONE, that this story is an invention, a figment of my imagination, and not to be taken seriously. If I get a single comment moralizing about the girl's actions then I shall throw my hands up in horror and have a tantrum.

So you've been warned!

Just to make it clear, she didn't actually cheat in the accepted sense in any way. I know, because I invented her.

Please enjoy.

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Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Hello, Tom here," he answered picking up the phone.

"Hi Tom, it's Debbie here," he heard his pretty young wife on the other end. "Bit of a problem Tom I'm afraid. The damn car's broken down."

"What's the problem honey?" Tom asked, worrying about his lovely five foot four, slim blonde wife being stranded on her own.

"Don't know Tom," she replied. "We left the conference half an hour ago and it's just conked out."

"We left?" He queried. "Who's there with you?"

"Mike and Bill," she replied. They were at the conference and I said I'd give them a lift home."

"I'll come and get you Debbie. Whereabouts are you?"

"It's Ok Tom," she assured him. "The breakdown wagon is on its way, and I've got Mike and Bill to keep me company till they get here."

"OK. Let me know when you get going again."

With that, Tom put the phone down, concerned but not too much so. He knew Mike and Bill from previous office parties he'd attended, and they'd seemed straight up sort of guys. Debbie would be safe with them.

'Click'

---------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Hi, Tom here."

"Hi honey," he heard his wife's sweet innocent sounding voice greet him. "Bit of a problem here, I'm afraid. Car's got a broken sprocket bracket or something. It's nothing serious but he's got to tow us back to the garage."

"Right Debbie. Let me know how you get on, and if there's a problem I'll come and get you."

"OK honey."

'Click'

---------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi Tom, honey. Bit of a problem here. The auto distribution place is closed for the day, and the garage can't get the part till tomorrow."

"No problem Debbie. I'll come and get you."

"No need Tom. You're three hours away and it's getting late. There's a hotel over the road and Mike's gone over there to book us three rooms, for the night."

"OK. Don't drink too much Debbie, will you."

"Of course not honey. Good night. I'll ring you tomorrow."

'Click'

---------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Bit of a problem here I'm afraid. They haven't got three rooms available."

"Well Mike and Bill will have to share then."

"They've only got one room."

"Oh dear!"

"We've taken it anyway honey. The two guys will sleep on the floor and let me have the bed. They've promised to behave."

"You're sure you can trust them Debbie?"

"Absolutely Tom. See you tomorrow."

'Click'

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Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi Tom. Bit of a problem here honey. Mike and Bill went up to bed a couple of hours ago. They both had a skinfull and I can't rouse them so I can't get into the bedroom."

"What you going to do Debbie?"

"I've come back down to the bar. There's a bit of a party going on, but I'll see if someone can help me."

"OK. Be careful."

'Click'

-----------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Bit of a problem here. The landlord has gone off to see if he can wake Bill and Mike up. A group of guys are playing cards, and they've invited me to join in while I wait."

"Who are they? You be careful, you don't play cards a lot."

"It's OK Tom. They're not very good and I've already won the first hand."

"OK. Love you."

"Love you to."

'Click'

-------------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey."

"What's up?"

"No problems honey. We've finished playing cards now and a couple of the guys are helping me."

"Helping you to do what?"

"Find my clothes honey. The cheeky things have hidden them somewhere."

"What!"

"It's OK honey. I won nearly all the games and had to take my clothes off."

"What bloody game was that?"

"No idea honey. I didn't really understand it to be honest, but each time I won a hand, I had to take something off. It was easy. They really weren't very good."

"You mean you're naked in a bar full of men!"

"Of course not honey."

"Thank God for that. I thought you said you took all your clothes off."

"Of course not honey."

"That's OK then."

"No honey. I've still got my high heels on. I tried to win another game to get rid of them, but I just couldn't seem to."

"What!"

"Got to go Tom. George is shouting something to me. I think they've found my panties in the other bar."

'Click'

------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Bit of a problem here. They weren't my panties after all. But it's OK, because when I got into the other bar, there was a rugby club in there celebrating something or other."

"And you're still naked?"

"No silly. I told you, I've still got my high heels on."

"But Debbie ....."

"It's Ok honey, but I've got to go. They want me dance again."

"You're dancing with the buggers?"

"No silly. I'm dancing on my own, on the bar."

'Click'

----------------

Dring dring. Dring Dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Bit of a problem here. Seven or eight of the guys accidentally spilt their beer all at the same time when I finished my dance, and it accidentally went all over me."

"Accidentally?"

"Yes, it was really funny. You would have really laughed if you'd been here. But the point is I'm drenched to the skin. Well, I suppose I would be since I've got no clothes on, but they're all offering to dry me off with their handkerchiefs, and I thought I'd better check up with you before I allowed that."

"You did absolutely the right thing Debbie. I don't think you should allow that."

"That's what I thought honey. I'll tell them not to be so cheeky and if they want their beer back then they'll have to lick it off."

"Hang on ...."

Thanks Tom. Love you."

'Click'

------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Thought I'd just give you a ring to say goodnight Tom."

"It's four o'clock in the morning honey. What's going on? Have you found your clothes yet?"

"No, Tom, But they're letting me sleep on the snooker table and promised to help me find my clothes in the morning."

"OK Debbie. Sleep well and I'll see you sometime tomorrow."

"Love you."

"Love you to."

'Click'

------------

The night passed, and the moon made its way slowly across the night sky, unobserved by anyone except for a few night workers, a few drunks, four foxes and a rabbit and an old couple on the M25 ring road, who had lost their way and kept going round and round and round and .....

Tom slept soundly, secure in the knowledge that the rugby club had promised to help Debbie find her clothes in the morning, and that as she slept, at the very least she still had her high heels to keep her feet warm.

For her part, Debbie also fell into a deep sleep, having had a wonderful time and made a lot of new friends, dreaming of turning out for the rugby team one day, in the club strip!

The morning dawned.

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Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Thought I ought to give you a ring and update you."

"Thanks Debbie. What time will you be home?"

"Not absolutely sure honey. We looked for my clothes this morning but simply couldn't find a trace of them. I think those buggers who I played cards with last night must have pinched them, and they seemed so nice at the time."

"Well perhaps someone could lend you a coat or a jacket or something Debbie."

"No need honey. A bus has just turned up for the rugby team, and they say they'll drop

me off at the shopping centre down the road, so I can get some new clothes."

"That's kind of them Debbie."

"That's what I thought honey. I'll call you later when I know what's happening."

OK. Love you Debbie."

"Love you to."

'Click'

---------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. There was a bit of a problem here. The bus was full with the rugby team and the driver didn't want to let any extra passengers on."

"Oh dear!"

"It's Ok though honey. When he saw me he said it would be OK, but there's no spare seats so I'm having to sit on the scrum half's lap."

"That's kind of him."

"Yes, but the captain says he doesn't want me to be too heavy for him, so I'm moving over to the hooker, whatever that is."

"That's the guy who plays in the middle of the scrum Debbie."

"No it's not honey. They had me in the middle of the scrum last night when they were explaining rugby to me in the bar. They all had their arms round me and it was a lot of fun, especially when we all collapsed in a heap. Good job that big guy at the back was there to drag me out from underneath them all. "

"That would have been the number eight Debbie."

"That's him, the big blonde guy. I get to sit on his lap after the hooker."

"What!"

"Then there'll be the fly half, the two centres who are rather cute, the full back and the big black man who seems to help the hooker, and the Guy who polishes the boots, and then ......

'Click'

----------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Bit of a problem here. We got held up in a traffic jam."

"Well yes Debbie, the traffic is terrible in the mornings."

"Well it wasn't too bad actually, not until the bus stopped and they sent me into the shop to get a newspaper for them.

"A newspaper?"

"Yes, but I didn't even get there. I sort of forgot that I was in the nude and ran across the road, and a couple of cars seemed to swerve a bit. One of them hit a lamp post and then everything got jammed up."

"Are you OK honey?"

"Oh yes. The police came and took me into the back of their police car and questioned me. They took some photos, and for some reason measured me with a tape measure, but then they let me go."

"So where are you now?"

"On our way to the airport honey. Didn't have time to stop to buy any clothes after the police had cleared the jam. Maybe I'll be able to get some there."

"And then you'll come home?"

"Of course honey. What else do you think I'd do, you silly man."

"See you later then."

"Will do honey."

'Click'

------------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Bit of a problem here and you're really going to laugh when you hear what happened."

"You'd better tell me."

"Well we got to the airport and they asked me to help with their kit. I put one of the bags on one of those conveyor things, lost my balance and fell onto it."

"Oh dear! Are you OK?"

"Yes fine honey. It went round and round and everyone was looking at me. It was really funny. Then it shot me through a hole and before I knew it I was on some baggage trailer going out to the aeroplane."

"Still in the nude?"

"No silly. I told you, I had my high-heeled shoes on. Anyway, these four baggage handlers helped me off and dusted me off."

"They weren't angry?"

"Well maybe a bit, because one of them put me over his knee and spanked me a little."

"Not too hard I hope."

"No, not really, but by the time the fourth one finished spanking me, I was a bit sore. But it was OK honey, because they did rub it better for me."

"That was good of them."

"Yes, and they helped me onto the plane to say goodbye to the rugby team."

"Good."

"Trouble is, I got chatting to some of them and before I knew it, the plane took off."

"What! Where are you now?"

"Paris."

"Paris!"

"Yes honey. Charles de Gaulle airport. Sorry honey but I'll have to go now. The rugby team are leaving and I've got to say goodbye to them all."

'Click'

------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. No problems now honey. I hope to be home some time this evening."

"Great Debbie. How are you getting back?"

"I've met these two really nice French men honey. Their flight's been cancelled and they're hiring a car to drive to Calais, and I think I can get a Ferry to get back to England."

"How are you going to pay for your ticket Debbie?"

"Oh, I don't know, but something will turn up. Love you."

'Click'

------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi. Got another problem honey."

"What's up now?"

"Well I thought they were taking me to Calais, but apparently it was Chalais they were going to."

"Where's that?"

"Down in South West France honey. It looks quite a nice little town."

"So what are you doing now Debbie?"

"We're sat outside a little café having a drink and a snack honey. Lots of people going by and stopping to chat with us."

"Did you manage to get any clothes Debbie?"

"Of course I did Tom. Three other guys joined us at our table and I gave up my seat and sat on his lap, so he gave me his beret to wear."

"A beret and high heels eh?"

"Yes honey. All the guys say I look really cute. Got to go now, as there's another group of tourists who want to have their photo taken with me. They'd all be so disappointed if they knew I wasn't really French, but I'm not going to tell them."

"Better not Debbie."

'Click"

-------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. You're really not going to believe where I am now honey."

"Try me. You were in a place called Chalais two days ago."

"Yes. Well from there we all went to a party in Bordeaux, but I needed some air after a while, and these two guys, I think they were Americans, took me outside for a walk along the riverside."

"Yes."

"Well it turned out they had a boat moored there, and they seemed very keen to show me it. Anyway, it was a very nice yacht with sails and things, and I managed to persuade them to take it out in the harbour and give it a try."

"So you're in Bordeaux harbour then?"

"No silly. Once we got going I asked them if they'd sail me back to England."

"That's great Debbie. So your back in England then."

"No honey I'm afraid not. They pulled into Jersey harbour to fill up with something and the coast guards stopped us."

"They weren't smuggling, were they?"

"No of course not Tom. Listen to me will you."

"OK."

"Well apparently some other boat had reported that this boat had a girl running round on the deck in the nude."

"That would have been you I suppose. But that's not against the law is it?"

"No, but they noticed that I still had my high heels on and they thought that a little odd."

"I guess it would be if you think about it."

"Well they thought so to Tom, so they arrested me on suspicion of being in possession of a pair of high heels."

"That can't be against the law surely."

"Well I didn't think so either. I think they were only after one thing honey and they took me back to a police station and I don't think your going to be happy with what happened there."

"Something awful?"

"Yes honey. You're not going to like it, but I had no option but to let them."

"I can take it Debbie. Just tell me the worst."

"They took my high heels honey. Confiscated them and said they were keeping them for evidence.

"Oh!"

"It was awful honey. I felt quite naked without them. What's more they kept me there for hours."

"In a cell?"

"No honey of course not. They sat me up on the counter and I had to stay there till all the policemen from the first shift had come back in, and the second shift gone out."

"And they all said hello, I suppose."

"Yes they were really friendly, but I was so embarrassed about my shoes.

"Never mind Debbie. What now?"

"They're deporting me."

"What!"

"They say I'm desirable, so they're deporting me."

"Don't you mean undesirable honey?"

"No, they said I was desirable Tom. The head policeman is getting the ferry over to England and taking me with him in his car to make sure that I leave the Island."

"Well that might work out OK."

"It was lucky really, but I've got to squeeze into the back seat between two of the other policemen."

"Right."

"Might see you tomorrow then honey. Bye!"

'Click'

-----------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. All my problems seem to be over."

"Why's that?"

"We got to England and the policemen let me go. I'm free honey."

"But how are you going to get home Debbie?"

"Oh yes. I hadn't thought of that."

"Well what are you going to do?"

"I'll ask the boys honey and ring you back."

"The boys??????"

'Click'

-----------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. I think my problems really are over Tom."

"Great. The washing and ironing is really building up here Debbie. I'm getting worried."

"The boys are going to help me honey."

"The boys?"

"The Crinkled Spotted Hencrushers, honey; you must have heard of them. They're very big, apparently. Had a record in the top five thousand."

"I can't actually think of anything they've released recently Debbie."

"No honey. They were a bit vague about that. Anyway, they say there's space in their van, and they're going to drop me off on the motorway service station just up the road from us.

"That's great Debbie. I'll put the kettle on and make us a cup of tea."

"Fantastic. See you soon."

'Click."

----------------

Dring dring. Dring dring....

"Tom here."

"Hi honey. Really no problems now honey. They've dropped me off at the service station."

"I'll come and pick you up Debbie."

"No need Tom. I've met some guys coming back from a football match in Manchester and they happened to notice that I had a bit of a problem. They're taking me to the shops to buy me something to put on, and I'll be home in less than an hour."

"Football supporters Debbie? You be careful."

"It's Ok honey, they support Arsenal."

"That's fine then Debbie, but don't hang around, the tea's going cold."

"OK Tom."

'Click'

---------------

The time passed slowly, the tea went cold, and Tom was forced to brew another pot. After all, the guys Debbie was with were Arsenal supporters, salt of the earth types, so one had to look after them when they arrived. He even opened another box of chocolate biscuits just in case.

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Ring Ring .... Ring Ring.

Tom picked up the phone by habit, putting it back down when he realised it was the doorbell ringing.

Always a sensible sort of chap, he went to answer it.

"Hi honey," screamed Debbie as he opened the door and she flung her arms round him. "It's just so great to be home."

"Come in, come in honey," Tom cried out, forgetting his manners. "The tea's freshly brewed. I'll pour you a cup."

"Let me just say goodbye to the lads first," his wife responded, smiling lovingly at him.

"Bye Fred, bye Syd, bye Malcom, bye Alf, bye Nigel, bye Stan, bye Sir Henry."

"Sir Henry?"

"Don't ask," Debbie dismissed his query, grinning as she brushed past him, rushing into their home she'd missed so much. 'It's been quite a week."

"I thought you said this lot were going to buy you something to put on Debbie," Tom commented, casually as it were. Tom was a pretty fastidious sort of guy and quick on the uptake. It hadn't taken long for him to notice that his wife was still naked. It came as a bit of surprise to him.

"They did honey. They were as good as their word. Before we left the pub, they took me around with a jug and had a whip-round to get me some clothes, and they raised a hundred and thirty four pounds and sixteen pence, plus a few foreign coins."