Poor Impulse Control

You sign onto AIM and we talk, at first about nothing important, just mindless banter, on the work we make together and eventually the discussion turn towards sex. You want me to blow you. You say so without apology, giving into your more animalistic feelings. I'm horny and manic and I haven't touched anyone in over a year, but I'm sure it's not a good idea. I know it's not a good idea. I don't believe in sex without emotional attachment. I don't want to be attached to you in that way. Ever. I make an excuse.

"No, you have Herpes. The girl who blew you the other night gave it to you."

"I don't, I went to a doctor and got myself checked."

I'm not sure if I should believe him. Part of me wants to believe him. I've always been curious as to what it would be like to blow a guy...

"You'd say anything to get me to give you head"

"No, but I do want it. Now. From you"

I'm horny and I'm manic and lonely, but I lie.

"Not horny enough, not hyper enough, I still have enough of my wits about me to know that this would be a bad idea."

You say you're going away for a bit. I joke that you're going to jerk off to the thought of my mouth, but the only response I get is your away message.

"Around."

Thoughts enter my head. I wonder what it would be like? What if he was getting into his car and driving over here right now? What if in a moment he called and said he was outside? I might just go do it before I have a chance to think better of it.

I believe in safer sex, I believe in using a condom when blowing someone, but I really am curious as to what his semen might taste like. I think about you coming over, about the call I might receive any minute, about whether I would even bother trying to look for protection, whether I'd even want to look for flavored lube. What would his cock taste like?

I'm standing and I realize how aroused I am. Thinking of you. If you did call I might do it. If you did call I would do it. If you called... I'm manic and horny enough. I wouldn't even use a condom. I want that taste. I want to know your taste...

My heart is beating fast, and my mouth is dry. I sit down and take a drink from my water bottle. I'm shivering. I think to myself that I wouldn't do it. I'm too chicken shit. But what might he be doing right now? Is he masturbating thinking of me? I get wet at that idea. Is he cleaning himself? Would he clean just his cock or would he take a shower? I'm shivering more and I so badly want to come. It's been so long since I had anyone...

I fantasize about it. If he called right now... If he was here right now...

I'd get in his car.

I'd tell him to drive somewhere secluded. When we parked, I'd turn to him. I'd pull him out and...

My phone lights up and my heart races even more. I'm let down when I realize it just means that the battery has finished charging.

I wouldn't let him touch me, and I don't want him to take off all of his clothes, I just want his pants down around his ankles. I don't want him to pleasure me. I want his cock in my mouth now. I want to lightly run my fingertips along his inner thighs. I want to watch him grow hard. I want to feel his dicks warmth. I want to know what it's like to lick his testicles, to suck gently on a ball sack, to tease a scrotum with my tongue. I want to know what it feels like to lick lightly up and down his shaft. I want to know what his pre-cum tastes like. I've read it differs from person to person. Is he salty? Is he sweet? Is he bitter? I'm shivering again. My mouth is dry again and I'm so wet between my legs. I touch myself lightly through my pants. I wonder if I can cum by my thoughts alone.

I take another sip of water.

I'd take him into my mouth, hold his testicles with one cold hand, and bob my head up and down once. I'd take it out and lick it. I'd swallow him again, and bob my head twice, up and down, slowly, savoring him. I'd swirl my tongue around his cock head. My knees are quaking. I want this. I want this warmth in me. I want to lick him lightly, teasing him, pull him out of my mouth and lick his testicles again, lick his inner thighs, maybe even nibble his nipples while slowly teasing his shaft lightly with my fingernails.

Should I tell him to come over? Should I tell him I want this?

I want to tease him. I want to lick him almost anywhere but where he wants me to the most. This is my first time so I want it to last. I want to drive him mad so that he begs me to take him back into to his mouth. I'd tell him that's he'd have to put it there if he wants so badly.

He'd grab me by my hair, he'd force his cock into my mouth, and he'd use me.

I want to be used. Should I tell him this? I have handcuffs, maybe he'd put my hands behind my back... Maybe he'd make me strip naked just to see me... I don't want him to touch me, but I might strip for him. I want him to fuck my face. But I'm torn, should he come in my mouth or on my face? I want to taste him, but I've always wondered what it'd be like to have cum on my face. He groans and makes the decision for me. My mouth fills with warm liquid. He pulls out and spray the rest of the load across my hair and glasses.

I'm on my knees, naked, and dirty, and handcuffed. I'm so horny, but I can't cum. He smiles deviously, unlocks my hands tells me to get dressed, and doesn't touch me. He makes me leave the semen on my face. It's my badge. It says that I've been initiated as a cocksucker. He drops me off at home. I get back to my room and rub myself into the biggest orgasm I've had in my life, tasting him in my mouth the whole way...

And then I realize it was just a fantasy.

"Hey, you here?"

He's signed back on.

"Yeah. Come over now. Call me when you're outside."

A few minutes later my phone rings. My heart beats fast, and I grab my handcuffs as I walk out the door.

End