Porn without Point

I think we're in a smutty fic, the little yellow caption box read.

Wanda Wilson, the mercenary also known as Lady Deadpool despite being in parallel universe where there was no male Deadpool and the title itself not being gender-specific, felt inclined to argue. "Nah, what if we're in a crackfic?"

The only crack in this fic is the only that's about to get a cock in it.

"How do you figure?"

Well, for one thing, all of a sudden you have big ol' bubble butt and double-D breasts.

"I'm a comic book character. Comes with the territory. Have you seen what Dust is rocking? She has the only skintight hijab outside a Charlie Hebdo cartoon."

Also, you don't have the slightest trace of scars and there's an OC following you.

"Shit, Carlie Cooper? Silk? Solus?"

No, those are official Marvel characters. They just read like bad OCs. You'll notice this one is wearing a black Spider-Man suit.

"Yeah, what's up with that?" Wanda demanded. "Come up with your own costume! It's not like it's hard. Skintight black leather, some unnecessary piping, domino mask, it's not hard!"

He probably wants to know about the violent murders over the past few weeks.

"If they didn't want to die, they shouldn't have pissed off people rich enough to hire me to kill them. I know! I'll lose him in this abandoned factory building. He won't follow me there—it's probably full of multiethnic gangs of street trash hooligans who'd try to peer pressure him into doing drugs!"

Wanda parkoured inside, finding the factory full of atmosphere catwalks and big rusting vats of corrosive acid. She made a note to remember the place for later, in case she needed to create an arch-nemesis. Nothing for making the archiest of nemeses like corrosive acid—especially if it was boiling. She went to check the nearest vat. If it was boiling, maybe she could dunk an egg in it, get it soft-boiled.

"Hello, chica! Wanna be cool and do drugs?" said an ambiguously ethnic gang member, those some of his fellow gang members were white, so it wasn't racist.

In fact, the yellow text box read, aren't you a little racist for noticing?

There were six of them, and they weren't the kind of gang members you hold memorials for after the police shoot them. There were headbands. Some of them had torn the sleeves off their jackets; others didn't wear shirts under their jackets. Fingerless gloves abounded.

"Gratuitous violence!" Wanda cried. "Quick, one of you say something disparaging about my gender! That way, it'll be super feminist when I beat you up to establish how badass I am!"

"We are going to rape you!" said the gang leader, who was white, so it was super-not-racist, because the worst one of them was the white guy.

Unless you look at it as all the black, Asian, and Latin@ gang members taking orders from a white guy. That would kinda be racist, right?

"No!" Wanda pointed out, "because they're bad guys and they're taking orders from a white guy, which is bad, whereas I take orders from Da Chief, that distinguished older black gentleman with a bit of a gut who's always telling me to get results!"

That was a magazine editor. And he told you to get out of his office.

"His lips said that, but his eyes were telling me to get results."

"Who are you talking to?" demanded the Asian gang member, who was armed with a pair of nun-chucks, which was a little racist, but in a cool, edgy way.

"Your ass!" Wanda told him, and drew her samurai swords.

"Wow, that's a little appropriative," the Asian gang member said before she cut his head off.

The black gang member drew a lead pipe and the white gang leader pulled a golf club, both of them managing to block Wanda's akimbo slashes, so she dropped the swords and just shot them instead with pistols quick-drawn from her gunbelt.

"Why didn't I do this before?" Wanda wondered. "And why don't the Power Rangers ever call in the Zords to step on the monsters when they were little? And what about the eagles in Middle-Earth, why couldn't the Fellowship just ride—"

A Hispanic gang member, who was not at all representative of his proud and noble culture, hit Wanda over the head with a length of chain. Everything flashed yellow; Wanda tried to read this apparently very large caption, but then it turned black. "Oh," she said, "I'm supposed to be unconscious."

Wanda woke up tied to a chair. She didn't know how long she'd been out—it was possible she'd missed Wendy Williams like some basic bitch—but the remaining three gang members were surrounding her. The ones who hadn't hit her were both black, and they were rubbing their hands together as she came to, the lifting of her head pulling her skintight suit taut over her breasts.

"Oh, it's one of those fanfics," Wanda said. "Hey, why the hell are you reading this trash? Yeah, I'm talking to you! What's next, some loli? A little bestiality action? Just jerk it to Jenna Jameson, ya weirdo! The feminists will hate you just as much!"

"Oh, we're not going to rape you," the Hispanic gang member said. "But we are going to explain to you why the Great Eagles couldn't just fly the Fellowship into Mordor."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"First of all, the Eagles of Manwë don't work for Gandalf, he can't just order them around, they're more like compatriots because they're both Maiar and they help each other from time to time."

"I thought it was just that they were both servants of Manwë," said one of the black gang members, "not that the Great Eagles were actually Maiar like Gandalf."

Wanda opened her legs. "Rape me! Rape me!"

"Hey, jerks!" Chad called from up in the rafters, which the factory had above the also very atmosphere catwalk. "You wanna let Kurt Cobain there go?"

"You disrespecting me, cous?" the Hispanic gang member asked in a way that Hispanic people actually did, as he drew a switchblade.

Chad jumped down from the rafters and quickly proved that switchblades, lead pipes, two-by-fours, and an admirable willingness to befriend and associate with other races were no match for having the proportionate strength and speed of a spider, or for having inexplicable access to Peter Parker's invention of long-chain polymer that knits and forms an extremely tough, flexible fiber with extraordinary adhesive properties upon contact with air. They didn't know this because they weren't educated, which was their real problem, not any intrinsic racial thing. Lack of education.

Stay in school.

After he'd trounced them, Chad went to Wanda. "My hero!" she cried. "Why don't you uncuff me so I can give you your reward? Or leave them on, maybe it's that kind of fic—"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure you killed three of these guys, and a lot of other people, so you're going to jail."

"Pretty sure I'm going to Bonertown, actually; population: you."

"Are you kidding? Spider-Man would never agree to let a murderer go free just because she offered him sexual favors."

"But you're not Spider-Man," Wanda pointed out, wagging her hips teasingly. "You're an OC."

"Good point."

Chad uncuffed her; as soon as her hands were freed, he took one small gloved palm and drew it to his hardening groin. Wanda's eyes widened as she felt the throbbing stiffness inside his trousers. While she was still wide-eyed, he took her up to the rooftop where the tied up gang members couldn't see, and where they couldn't smell the corpse-y freshness of the guys Wanda had killed. Wanda pulled off her mask.

"Hunh, I thought you were deformed," Chad said.

"I am! Look at these things!" Wanda jiggled her double-D breasts. "How do I walk to the mailbox without these things punching me in the face? My bra must be made out of unstable molecules."

Christ, what's with all the plot? The yellow textbox read. I could've downloaded a Blu-Ray rip of Lisa Ann's last movie in the time it takes you two to get busy!

"There needs to be some description," Wanda said defensively. "He's a goddamn OC!"

She looked Chad over. He was an impressive specimen of manhood, standing six feet three inches, just enough height for his two hundred and thirty pounds of solid musculature. A great hulking brute, his bullet-shaped head topped broad shoulders and a powerfully built chest, his tight costume clinging to the hard jutting curves of his pecs, while his six-pack angled into his suit like six diamonds in a jewelry setting. The only place his costume was slack was at legs and thighs, where the fabric was drawn away from his skin by the tent at his crotch.

The gigantic proportions of his arousal was quite called for. Having realized she was in a PWP, Wanda swayed her hips and thrust her full, pendulous breasts out, pressing them against the thin material of her costume (don't think about how, technically, 616 Deadpool's costume is just as thin). The pouting circles of her nipples were clearly outlined, drawing Chad's eyes as fervently as Wanda's darted to his crotch.

Without further plot, Wanda threw herself to her knees and tugged down Chad's pants. His cock was too big for a normal woman, but just right for a fanfic... or Paris Hilton. Ten inches long, almost as thick around as Wanda's wrist, it thrust out from him like an arm with a clenched fist, the end throbbing impatiently.

Wanda stared at it like she'd never seen a dick before, trembling with excitement, uttering little coos like it was a baby bird. She reached out and ran her palm over its bloated tip, feeling the warm lotion of his precum anoint the heel of her hand.

Wanda encircled the shaft in her hand, running her fingers lovingly up and down his cock with the lightest of grips. With her other hand, she weighted Chad's balls, plying them with her fingers. Chad's muscular frame shuddered in anticipation. He licked his lips, but that just made him taste his mask, and it was gross.

He pulled the mask up over his mouth to say "Okay, let me feel that warm mouth of yours..."

Wanda had no objection, puckering her lips against Chad's cockhead, then swirling her tongue across his crown, mewling in delight at the taste of his musky manhood. Stretching her jaws until they could've snapped, she took his entire cockhead into her mouth, slurping it like it was the straw on a milkshake as she ran her fingers along the substantial portion of his shaft that reminded to her.

Chad moaned in appreciation, reaching down to dig his fingers into Wanda's blonde hair as if to hold her still for the lusty bucking of his hips, the receiving of several more inches of his cock deep inside her mouth. Wanda gagged, taking even more of him inside her, taking him right up until he punched against the back of her throat, but she swallowed hard and felt the first few inches of his cock in her throat.

Chad threw back his head, feeling her constricted throat open up to him, and even more of his manhood disappeared down Wanda's gullet. He moaned again as Wanda's wide-stretched lips came into contact with the thick base of his shaft. Wanda savored the pleasure of being stuffed completely full of him, but gratefully took in a deep breath when he pulled back—only to pump back down her throat, gagging her once more.

I can't believe what I'm seeing, the yellow textbox read. She swallowed that whole serving of manmeat! And she's loving it! How could someone ever take something that big into their mouth, let alone their vagina? God, I wonder what it'd be like for my virgin cunt to be opened up by that huge organ...

Chad pumped her throat until he'd almost come, then backed away, knowing she'd milk him dry if she could. Wanda sagged, as if the cock had done more to hold her up than anything else. His saliva-slick cock now glistened in the sunlight, pointing at her demandingly.

Chad hefted Wanda up, pulling her against his firm body, enjoying the feeling of her pliant flesh even more when he squeezed her full breasts through her costume. She loved it too, so much that she ripped her costume open for him. He encircled her breasts with either hand, squeezed hard, rubbed them together and pulled them apart just to see if Wanda's moans would be any different.

Then he bent down to her tits and sucked nosily at one, drawing on the soft flesh like a vacuum, his tongue repeatedly covering her throbbing nipple. He drew away to clamp his mouth onto her other breast, while his hand rubbed his saliva into the wet one. Wanda moaned in delight as he worked vigorously at her breasts, only stopping to pull at his mask.

"But... my secret identity..."

"I'm not gonna recognize you, silly, you're an OC!"

"Oh, yeah, right."

She ripped his mask away, but barely cared to look at his face before she shoved him down to the ground. Then she was on him like a predator on its prey, resting her hands on his hard chest, licking at his stomach, up from the wiry hairs of his pelvis to the hard burnished muscles of his sternum.

She ripped at his suit to get at them, until her fingertips were brushing his nipples, circling around them to get them nice and hard for her lowering mouth. When she sucked on them, they felt as hard as her own. Her tits hung like melons swaying on the vine, hot nipples brushing through the hairs on his chest.

Splaying herself on Chad, Wanda suddenly licked up Chad's throat to his mouth, catching him in a heated kiss as her cunt met his thick cock. She slid it up his shaft, moaning into their kiss, until she brought herself down on his upright manhood with a screaming end to the tongue-play.

He held her—it was all he could do—as she plunged herself down onto his cock over and over again. Chad instinctively threw his hips into her, nearly knocking her loose even as he thrust into her depths, but Wanda always caught him inside her. "Fuck me, fuck me!" she groaned, needing cock more than anything else in the world. She lapped at his face one last time, marking it with a stripe of saliva from his chin to his brow, before rising up to straddle him, her thighs now on either side of his body.

Wanda felt charged with electricity, bouncing up and down on Chad's prick. Her tits jiggled. Her flesh sparked and scorched. Lightning bolts struck her pussy. She gyrated her hips to pour her juices over his thick shaft, drown him in her, and he bucked his hips obediently, swirling inside her, plowing into her, fucking her no matter how tightly her labia lips clung to his cock.

'"Stick me with that cock! Put it in my cunt!" Wanda demanded, riding him as hard as she could manage. If he were a horse, she wanted him to do a mile a minute for her.

What was left of her costume was streaked with sweat. Her bare flesh showed a thin film of perspiration. Beads of it flew from her as she rode up and down on Chad. She drove herself faster, harder. Her moans became louder, became the low, guttural sounds of an animal as she forced herself onto his cock harder and faster than such a thing could ever be made to fit inside her tight pussy. But he went inside her. Over and over again.

"Oooooooohhhhhhh!" She couldn't stand it anymore. Wanda fell to the side, onto her side, and Chad stayed with her, splitting her legs now, continuing to thrust blindly inside her. His cock splashed in and out of her as he did her from the side, matching her stroke for stroke, pounding her, stuffing her full. He fucked her hot cunt with all the strength he had, out of control as she bounced around in his grip. No matter how hard he fucked, her cunt was tight against his cock, sucking at it as hard as her mouth ever had.

Chad couldn't take it anymore. He pulled himself upright, throwing himself against her body, pulling one well-toned leg against his body, the other bent under Wanda as she took his cock. She was on her side, held impaled on Chad's body as he thrust desperately into her, filling and emptying her sex, blue sparks racing through her loins. Her cunt felt like it was being burned to cinders by the searing heat of their fuck, by his friction against her clinging flesh.

Tears welled up in Wanda's eyes as the delicious fire consumed her. Eyes shut, she swirled in darkness, lights flashing inside her with myriad colors. Every nerve in her was alive and alert, screaming at her, shaking with jolts of electricity.

"Make me come!" Wanda screamed, and his cock whipped into her, a blur inside her cunt, an invisible force splitting her in two.

"Me first!" Chad cried as he drove into her with his most powerful stroke, jamming his cock inside her as it exploded with hot cum, filling her pussy with a flood of cum that felt too sizeable to ever fit inside her.

Wanda's body was rocked with the sudden warmth and presence inside her. She felt herself being lifted, a soaring feeling in her cunt, taking her so high that she just had to come. Every nerve ending tingled. Every thought in her head stopped. Her body was out of her control, all spasms and quivers and screams. She gave into the power of the climax tearing at the fibers of her.

Chad made a few more thrusts, a few more gulping plugs of his seed inside her, marked by flashing lights of red and yellow burning brightly inside Wanda's head. Her sex contracted and relaxed around his throbbing shaft, massaging it inside her warm pussy. "I'm coming! I'm fucking you and I'm coming!"

She moaned from the depths of her throat, long and low, and her body shook. She jerked against his cock, every jolt sending another rivulet of his cum spilling out of her, another hot blast of ecstasy through her body. It tore through her cunt like a tidal wave and she grabbed her own breasts, hurting them in her hands, the pain turning to pleasure as she seemed to come again. Or maybe she'd never stopped climaxing.

When he'd finished, Wanda resolved to enjoy that big prick again. She didn't care where.

Chad pulled himself out of Wanda's snatch, though it still seemed to pulse with his entry, and lifted himself above her on his hands and knees. He grinned down at Wanda. "I shoulda tracked you down a long time ago. You really know how to use that little pussy," he said breathlessly.

"You really make a girl want to be used," Wanda replied, even more (less?) breathlessly.

With a half-laugh, Chad came down on her, wrapping his powerful arms around her slender back, crushing her body to his and smothering her lips with his own. His big hands slid down her back, digging into the abundant curves of her ass, squeezing them like she was trying to force her pelvis even harder against his.

Then, before the pressure could mount, he worked his body up hers, walking his knees up on either side of her narrow waist. He pushed his cock toward her tits, Wanda's nipples tensing automatically in anticipation of his next move. All of her trembled as he touched the end of each nipple with his wet cockhead, smearing her dusky nipples with his warm cum.

Wanda cooed and rubbed his seed into her areolas. Arched her back to come up and lick at his sweat-slick belly, arms embracing his hips, kissing at his navel as she urged him higher. Taking her mop of hair in his hand, he brought her back down to the ground and let her whimper with desire as his cockhead touched her chin. Her mouth opened wide to accept his cum-smeared organ, and he fed himself into the greedy little circle.

Hardening once more, Chad gave Wanda a low-lidded grin. "Hot bitch..."

Already, the head of his prick had swollen immensely. Wanda licked and sucked her way back down his shaft, came back up to bath his cockhead with long, swooping lashes of her tongue. She stabbed the tip of her tongue into the tiny cleft of his helmet, searching for a fresh supply of his delicious cum.

Chad felt her tongue settle under his cockhead. She was done sucking him like a lollypop. Now she moved her head back and forth, his prick sliding over the soft cushion of her tongue, the tip of his cock once more being invited into her throat.