Prank War

Perhaps it shouldn't have been as difficult as I made it. I mean, I probably could have just ripped enough of the padding out to make room for me inside and called it good. But, I went the extra effort of keeping just the right amount of batting inside and stitching together an inner layer by hand to keep it in place so that I would be indistinguishable from Wittgenstein without close examination. I actually wanted to be able to stand up and move around in it.

And, truthfully, I anticipated having to defend myself some once the prank went off.

And, all right, perhaps some of my effort in arranging and keeping the padding was to make sure I had enough in strategic areas in case Leah reached under the bed for that sawed-off baseball bat.

But, I had time. I had decided that the proper moment for what I had in mind was April Fools Day. While we pranked each other at a minimum of once a week, and more often a couple of times per week, Halloween and April Fools Day we typically pulled out all of the stops.

And, too, much more was, perhaps, forgivable on those days. At least I hoped it was any time I thought again about violating the sanctity of their space, their bedroom, as I would have to in order to pull this off.

As the day loomed closer, and my preparations were complete, I had those thoughts more and more often.

Nothing had been expressly said, but I rather had the idea that there might have been something a little more personal behind Donna quitting her job and the two of them moving back and in with me. It wasn't anything big, really. Nothing I could point to and say, "Aha!"

But, Donna had loosened up for a long time and been much freer with giving me hugs or just touching my arm in a gesture of affectionate concern while I was visiting them in Dallas. She hadn't been quite so free with physical expressions of affection since they had moved in with me. Nor did she smile as easily or as often.

And, I'd noticed that she was a touch nervous once Leah left for work and we were alone in the house together until Donna left to go work out or whatever it was she did when she left the house.

And, she didn't really go to quite as much effort with her appearance as she once had.

Donna had been what the lovely ladies who allowed me to hang out with them in their refuge back in college referred to as "a lipstick lesbian," always dressed up, with her make-up just so. I couldn't recall the last time I'd seen her in make-up or wearing anything other than workout clothes of one variety or another.

Leah had always been a little more butch. As much as she could manage, being so obviously female and so attractive. And I'd noticed on the rare occasions when we went out into the world together, she was even more protective of Donna than I remembered, posting herself between Donna and any inevitable gawkers to stare them down until they looked away.

No. I didn't know anything for certain. But, I suspected that they hadn't told me everything. And probably wisely so as I probably would have been astride my motorcycle and headed for Dallas before they even finished the story to relive one infamous night when we'd shut down The Planet while I'd gone at it with five frat rats who just could not seem to accept that Donna and Leah really did mean no.

But, I thought maybe, just maybe, both of them would be alright with it. God knew they'd been loosening up enough around me, coming out of their room to go to the bathroom in just a sleep shirt and shorts that were just this side of indecent.

And the way the two of them had hung out on the couch together as we heckled romantic comedies on Valentine's, the way they were dressed and the way they had touched and even kissed in front of me, gave me an aching erection just thinking about it!

So, yeah. Maybe they had relaxed enough around me in the intervening two years that they could deal with my intrusion into their space.

I'd had to work the night before April Fools and came home that morning fully expecting to be greeted by all sorts of shenanigans. Instead, the two of them were waiting to have breakfast with me; a sun-dried tomato, mushroom, spinach and tofu quiche.

I really would have preferred a different sort of prank.

But, both of them seemed to have forgotten just what day it was. And the quiche seemed to really be an effort on their part to have a nice breakfast with me rather than to punish me or prank me.

To my surprise, each of them gave me a long, lingering hug before they left me to clean up and went out the door together. Which was nice. Donna had been scanty with her physical displays of affection since moving in with me and I wasn't sure but thought I could count the number from Leah over the decade without stopping to unlace my boots.

As a result, I was thrown off balance enough that when I went to the bathroom, I didn't check carefully enough and the flashbang hooked to the toilet seat startled me, making me fall back into the bathtub. To be greeted by Herman in his coiled glory.

Oh, fuck yeah. It was on like Donkey-Kong.

I'd had some misgivings after the nice breakfast we'd shared, not to mention those delightful hugs from two women I would cheerfully kill or die for, but now I knew it had all just been an elaborate set-up for their own April Fools efforts to have more than a salutary effect. And I was going to pay them back. Oh, I was indeed.

But, I would have to wait.

Leah would be working deliveries for the auto-parts store until sometime around five when she would hurry home to change clothes and grab something to eat before rushing back out to tend bar at our old hangout.

Donna would come in either with Leah or not long after, fix something sort of resembling food as much as it could without any meat or dairy product, and then spend the evening scowling at her computer as far as I was ever able to determine since I was usually asleep for most of that.

I puttered around the house a bit, doing some light maintenance, but mostly trying to determine if I should try to wind down early and get some sleep since I had a feeling I wouldn't be getting much after I'd pulled my prank to top all pranks.

Eventually, I decided I would be wisest to rest early. Or try to.

I tossed and turned in my bed before finally dozing off just an hour before my alarm sounded at four-thirty in the afternoon. I didn't really need to, I hadn't been asleep that long, but I cleared my bladder to clear the decks, just in case. And took a quick look to make sure I was still alone in the house.

I quickly unburied my teddy bear suit from the bottom of my closet, back behind some piled clothes and boxes I couldn't really remember just what all was in them.

I scurried through the hallway between our rooms on tiptoe, carrying the suit until I slipped inside their room.

Their room strangely smelled better than the rest of the house, despite being somewhat messier. Or perhaps not so much messier as just more cluttered.

But, I wasn't there to sightsee, nor to smell the air. I was on short time. At least I hoped I was on short time since I wasn't sure I was going to be able to stay awake if I had to sit still for very long.

I plucked Wittgenstein from his chair on the far side of the bed and propped him in their closet. I'd originally thought about somehow rigging him to the back of their bedroom door. But, propping him so that he would fall out when they opened the closet door, prompting them to turn around to where I was sitting in his spot seemed like a much better proposition.

Not to mention, I hadn't quite been able to work out the system I would use since I didn't want to violate their sanctum any more than I already was to work it out.

Once Wittgenstein was shoved in the closet, leaning against the inside of the door, I hurriedly put on my suit to mimic him and took my place in his chair and settled in to wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

As I waited, it gradually dawned on me that there were some points that I had not considered carefully enough in my quest for the perfect prank to play on the two loves of my life.

First, with so much of the batting left in place, I might as well have piled about four or five quilts on top of me. Which might be nice some time in December or January, but sort of sucked approaching five o'clock in the afternoon on the First of April with the temperature outside up over eighty degrees Fahrenheit. I hadn't been in place long when I began to sweat.

Also, while I had carefully cut and crafted an eye slit so that I could see quite clearly, it did not let in enough fresh air to counter breathing in my own exhales. Combined with the heat, I was becoming just anoxic enough to be uncomfortable.

But, it would be worth it. Oh, yes. It would be worth it indeed to once and for all put my stamp on our little war.

At least it would if they would hurry the hell up and get home.

I was about to break down and slip the head off for a breath of fresh, cool air when I heard muted sounds of one or both of them entering our home and braced myself in anticipation instead as I struggled to hear through the costume batting and closed bedroom door with my eyes fixed across the bed at that door to watch for the perfect moment.

I couldn't make out the words, but I could hear their voices drawing closer. I coiled to spring as the door burst open.

And froze as Donna pushed her larger lover into the room and onto the bed, peeling off the baggy, loose shirt she had taken to wearing over her sports bras and bike shorts or leggings to reveal a midriff less sun darkened, but no less impressive than the first day I'd seen her. The vision of Donna's dark petite beauty would probably have been enough by itself to lock me in place, coming at me by surprise as it did.

But, what really stunned me was seeing Leah with her buttoned down shirt unbuttoned to expose her own sports bra and the fair-skinned midriff that was not so well defined as Donna's but was hardly less impressive.

As I sat in stunned immobility, Donna half fell and half crawled over Leah's body, her curtain of dark hair hiding the lip-smacking kiss I could hear being administered as their fingers entwined next to Leah's blonde head only partially visible.

I'd seen the two of them kiss. But, it was more usually that absently affectionate peck two longtime lovers will share. This was different and I longed to see it as I imagined from the wet sounds and moans just what their lips, and tongues might be doing to each other.

And I knew that I'd already hit a point where my little prank was going to cause a problem. Bad enough that I was in their room. But, with them in the state of undress they were in, not to mention sharing such a passionate moment, there was no way they could forgive my trespass. And the wise thing to do would be to move before it got worse.

It got worse.

Donna rose up, her lips looking swollen and flush, and stood off the edge of the bed to reach for the fastenings on Leah's jeans even as Leah reached for them herself.

I couldn't really see much except for the top of Leah's head and Donna's, but I'd seen enough to know what they were doing and I struggled to make myself move before we went flying headlong over that particular...

I allowed myself a small sigh that might have been either relief or disappointment.

In their shifting, I'd seen a hint that Leah was wearing some sort of boy shorts panties or something under her jeans. So, at least she wasn't nude from the waist down. Damn it.

My two beautiful loves reached for each other once more and I hated myself for becoming so captivated I couldn't move to let them know I was there, or even close my eyes. For several minutes, all I could see was the tops of their heads and some half-glimpsed movements past that that led the mind places I'd fought not to let it go outside of my own bed as I imagined them sharing passionate kisses while their hands explored each other.

Donna sat up and shifted. I loved the view. Donna's sleek torso clearly visible as she rose above her lover. Leah's fuller breasts filling her sports bra just beyond the crown of her blonde head as her lover rose above her. The two of them seeming joined below the waist.

Leah sat up, reaching for Donna. But, I couldn't complain about the change in view as one of Donna's legs, her right, curled behind Leah's all but nude back and, as they kissed once more, the muscles in Leah's back began to bunch and writhe as she lifted her hips to grind against her lovers.

Someone moaned. I couldn't tell if it was Donna, Leah, or myself as I watched the two lovers whom I loved hump and grind against each other.

My cock was pressing painfully against the batting bunched around it, trying to spring fully erect to slap against my stomach. It was all I could do not to move, to bend forward to relieve the pressure. Or, perhaps to use my hand to press back against it. Or to get up and slide onto the bed to join the beautiful scene unfolding before my eyes.

The last was the easiest to fight as I knew that my joining the scene would only spoil it. Which made it easier to fight the others as I recognized that even moving would spoil it as well.

And as much I despised myself for spying on them without their express approval, I also couldn't stand the thought of missing a damn thing as the two most beautiful women I'd ever laid eyes on made love to each other.

And I wished, oh how I wished, that I had a little better angle than Leah's back with only one of Donna's legs, one of her arms, and the top of her head visible as they kissed and hunched their groins against one another.

Suddenly, Donna broke the clinch and pushed her lover back on the bed. Leah, whom I knew was much stronger fell back easily.

"I know what you want, you dirty slut," Donna said huskily. "I know what you need."

"Yes," Leah moaned. "Yes, you do. Get it."

What was this?

I watched as Donna bent to the nightstand between the bed and the door and heard a drawer open. I couldn't see what it was that she retrieved, and lost sight of her for a moment as she bent further down.

My eyes tried to pop cartoon character style when Donna stood and put her knees back on the bed. With a large, fake phallus jutting out from leather straps around her bike-shorts-clad hips.

That was just strange!

First, it just didn't make any sense to me that confirmed lesbians would use dildos, much less a strap on. I mean, if they were willing to do that, then why not throw a guy into the mix now and then? Why not me, for fuck's sake?!

Also, the more I thought about it, the more this whole scenario up to this point just didn't make sense. Leah was the bold and brash one. Donna was more reserved, especially since their return from Dallas. Seeing Donna being the aggressor in the bedroom just didn't line up with my impressions of their relationship dynamic or their personalities.

The thought fell by the wayside before I could run it down as Donna wrestled Leah over onto her belly, with Leah's help, of course. And between the two of them, they obviously worked the boyshorts or whatever they were down.

I could catch just enough of a glimpse of Leah's bared hip past her blonde head and round shoulder to realize what was happening. Although my eyes were drawn inexorably to Leah's pretty face.

And her rounded breasts filling out that sports bra that was all she had on her upper half.

Not that Donna wasn't worth watching. Oh, holy fucking hell was she worth watching as she moved behind her lover, that long brunette mane loose and hanging, her finely toned abs bunching just beneath that sports bra covering her own, much smaller breasts.

"Gently," Leah groaned. "It's been so long. Be gentle with me. At least at first, Ben."

Ben?! What the fuck?!

Even as my brain grappled with this latest shock, my cock surged painfully against the stricture of my padded camouflage to hear my name being said by lovely Leah as dazzling Donna took a place behind her lover with that strap-on that I would dearly have loved to fill.

"But, you don't really want me to be gentle, do you?" Donna snarled as she reached out and tangled her hand in Leah's shorter blonde mane. "You've been wanting this cock for so long, haven't you slut? You want me to slam you the way only a real man can, don't you? Don't lie to me, bitch. I can feel how hot and wet you are."

"God, yes," Leah moaned as she lowered her cheek to rest on the back of her hand on the bed. "I've wanted this for so long, Ben. And I've wanted you to take me, to fuck me like only a real man can. But, I'm scared. It's been so very long since anything so fucking huge has been inside my little pussy. Just let me get used to it. Just let my tight little pussy get used to your massive, hard, throbbing cock. Please?"

"You know I will," Donna said, huskily. "You know I love you and would never do anything to hurt you."

"I know you do. And I do want it. I want it so bad. Just... just give me a second to stretch around you."

"Alright. You just let me know when I can move."

My head was swimming as I imagined what I couldn't really see, the fake phallus Donna was sporting buried in Leah's blonde pussy, from hearing what I was hearing them say to each other. What the fuck was going on?

I knew that each of them had boyfriends when they were still in denial about their own homoerotic leanings. And I knew that they'd had sex during those relationships. Both of them had admitted as much in drunken confessions over the years and had admitted sex with guys just hadn't done a damn thing for them. Had, in fact, left them feeling dirty, soiled.

But...

But, maybe, just maybe the two of them had gradually come to fall in love with me as I had them? Perhaps so deeply in love that they could overlook the fact that I was male?

And what was with the strap-on anyway? Was this really how they were when they were alone?

"I'm ready for you, Ben."

I blinked away the thoughts and saw that Leah's eyes were open and staring right at me.

No. No, she was staring right at Wittgenstein. I was Wittgenstein. Not Ben. She didn't know I was here. I couldn't let her even guess.

"Oh, yeah, Ben. Give it to me," Leah said.

Donna's delightful abs bunched and flexed as she obviously began to move behind her lover, her hand on Leah's hip for leverage just visible past Leah's arm.

"Oh, fuck," Donna said. "So fucking tight. And I've wanted you for so fucking long. Don't know how long I will last."

Now, wait just a fucking minute! I had never in my life lasted such a short time! And wouldn't even if it was with one of these two!

"Don't worry about it, Ben," Leah panted. "I'm almost there just feeling you in me. Just give it to me hard and fast and cum when you need to."

"You mean inside you?" Donna asked as her abs worked faster and I heard the tell-tale rhythmic slap of her hips striking Leah's accelerate.

"Oh, fuck!" Leah moaned. "Yeah. Inside me."

"But, what if you get pregnant?"

"Shut up and fuck me, Ben!" Leah yelled. "Fuck me like you rented that pussy for the hour! Shoot your load all up in me! I want you to put your baby inside me, you fucking dickless shithead! Now, fuck me like you mean it, God damn it!"

Holy shit! I fought the urge to groan and rock forward as my cock surged at the lewd things Leah was spouting. Put my baby in her? Even as my brain struggled with the implications, my cock was thrilled by the idea.

"God, you're going to make me cum!" Donna panted as the rhythmic thrusting and slapping reached a crescendo.

"Do it, Ben!" Leah shouted. "Cum for me! Cum in me!"

"Holy fuck!" Donna gasped. "Here it comes!"

"Do it! Impregnate me!"

Donna thrust hard, making Leah squeal and pitch her head back. The pair held that position for a long second and then two before they fell forward. Leah to rest her cheek on the bed once more. Donna to rest hers against her lovers back.