Praying For Hope

"Oh, I didn't know you were standing there watching me. I'm so embarrassed. Please don't look at my ass, tits, and pussy. Where's my robe?"

I imagined him watching me as I toweled off my naked body, before donning my robe to come inside the house. Allowing him to catch me in all manner of undress, even naked, flashing him my panties, while innocently albeit seductively sitting across from him over a cup of coffee, I'd flash him my bra when leaning down with my low cut top to offer him homemade brownies. I could play the cougar for some quick, meaningless rebound sex, anything to help me get over William.

"After you finish your coffee and brownie, come into my bedroom. I want to show you something, young man."

While I masturbated over the thoughts of having sex with my tenant, I imagined him asking to take a dip in the pool. It was my turn to watch him and I imagined he had a slim, but muscular body. As I fingered my clit, I imagined seeing the burgeoning bulge that ballooned out his bathing trunks.

"Take off your bathing trunks and show me your cock."

Later in the summer, before he left me to dorm at school, I imagined having a going away party for him, plying him with alcohol and getting him drunk with the hopes that he'd take advantage of me or more accurately, I'd take advantage of him. He'd want me when he saw me in my bikini. He'd kiss me and touch me and I'd feel his cock, stroke it, before going down on him to make him hard enough to fuck me. Yeah, that's what I want. I need a stiff cock and a good hard fuck.

"Fuck me, baby. Fuck Mommy good and hard."

Only, it was a woman, who showed up on my front doorstep looking for a place to live. In an instant my cougar fantasies disappeared with the possibilities of her in my life. Like me, she had just been fucked over by a guy and dumped. Much in the way Bill had told me, her boyfriend told her that he was no longer attracted to her, too. With that one thing in common, we instantly bonded.

"Oh, you poor, poor dear. May I give you a hug?"

There must be something in the air, something contagious, the real swine flu, when it comes to men no longer being attracted to their women. It still amazes me that a man can reject a woman who devoted her life to cater to his every whim. What is wrong with these guys? It must be something in the beer that impairs their judgment, commonsense, and sense of decency.

"Assholes."

Never having been with a woman and not knowing if my feelings would be well received and reciprocated in kind, it was weird, when I immediately felt a strong attraction for her. She was the most beautiful and sexy woman I had ever seen. Heaven sent, her hair, her eyes, her lips, and her voluptuous body, were what attracted me to her.

"God, you're so beautiful and so sexy. Sorry, did I just say that out loud?"

It wasn't so much that she was so beautiful and so sexy, but she appealed to me and she was all of that to me. She was my blonde angel. Ironically, when she told me her name, fit to be tied, her name was Hope.

"Hope? Your name is Hope? Are you kidding me?"

When she said her name, I nearly burst out laughing. I wanted to tell her that I prayed for her, only, I was praying for hope, not for Hope. Be careful what you wish for because it's a lot of light years away to Heaven from Earth and sometimes, what you ask for may get lost in translation.

"Hope it is. Here's Hope. Hope is here. I found Hope. I now have Hope in my life and Hope is my new roommate."

Eventually I told her that I had prayed for her and we laughed about it over a beer. Since I met her, having Hope in my life this summer, it was somehow appropriate, befitting to the season and to the warm temperatures that we begin living our lives together and that what innocently began as roommates, culminated in us becoming lovers. Only, this time, the weather had changed for the better and there was a significant difference in the climate that made me hot for her even on the coldest of days. Even though on the day of our meeting, the outside temperature had cooled to a balmy 78 degrees, the high heat that I felt for her made it seem as if I had a hundred and five degree fever.

"Is it hot out or is it just me?"

It's funny how circumstances can change things, even my perception of the weather and the effects of the temperature were at the mercy of my emotions. Basking in the bright sunshine of a warm and cloudless summer's day, when we first met, loving life, loving her, and loving myself, it was that same kind of day, every day thereafter, even if it was raining, snowing, or sleeting. Everything felt so right and nothing could possibly go wrong. Feeling good about everything and everyone, I was in love.

"This is great."

If I were to look to Heaven, detach my feelings of disbelief, and embrace the delusion of wishing upon a star, I'd believe that the stars were aligned for me, when we met that fateful day. There was something in the air that made our love affair feel so right. In the way she looked, she was my height but curvier than me with all the curves in the right places. It was obvious that she was physically fit.

"Twinkle, twinkle little star."

Looking a little like my Mom, when my Mom was younger, we could have been sisters in the way she looked with her hair as blonde as my hair. Whatever perfume she wore was intoxicating. I think it was Chanel. True in her love for me, and loyal in our commitment to one another, and open to trying anything once, she was soft, yet firm enough around the edges for me to find the right soft spot when I needed a big hug. Feeling loved and comforted, she made me feel so special whenever she held me in her arms. Love at first sight, I knew, finally, she was the one and this was good and for keeps.

"I'm so freakin' happy!"

The excitement I felt for her that day surpassed even the first time I met William. Hotter for her than I've ever been for anyone, not one to even kiss on a first date, wanting her and not wanting to lose her, we had sex within an hour of first meeting. Now, five years later, things are as good as they were the first day.

"I love you Elizabeth."

I wanted to say ditto to see what she'd say and how she'd react, but I responded more appropriately.

"I love you, too, Hope."