Punky's Diary, 02/08/07

February 8, 2007

So here I am again. I know, I know, you're bored with me already, but that's cool.

Still a free country.

Anyhow, in my ongoing quest for class (which I guess by now is pretty much hopeless but what the fuck), I decided to get into music. I mean I love listening to music but I wanted to play it. Like rock stuff, ya know? So I went to a Guitar Center and bought myself an electric guitar (Epiphone Les Paul, which is really pretty), and an amplifier and a cable and some picks and stuff. I bought a music book too but the shit was way too complex for me.

I started just foolin' around with it, trying to tune the thing and then making chords and trying to strum them. It was pretty cool actually, to be making sounds even though they're pretty fucked up sounding.

So like two days after I start, this buddy of mine says she has a gig at this place downtown and can I play anything? And I'm thinking, no, I just started. I can't even play a whole song.

Turns out she means can I play an instrument—not a song. So I tell her I just started and she says to just come on down to this club and bring my stuff. Their other guitar player broke her arm in a fight.

"At the club?" I'm asking her.

"Well, not exactly." she says, but then I'm thinking, why the fuck not?

The next night I show up and it's this total grungy dive looking place, and I'm not talking the Seattle music scene either. I go in the back and there's like this guy who's gotta be almost seven feet tall and a hundred feet wide and he looks at me like I'm an old paper plate or something. Then he notices I have my guitar and amp and he breaks into this huge smile and helps me lug my stuff in.

I get to the stage and there's nobody there but he tells me to wait and then my friend comes out and hugs me. She's wearing glittery body makeup.

And that's all.

So I'm thinking, 'okay, that's rock 'n roll, right?' So we go back to the dressing room so I can meet the rest of the band.

Everybody's like totally naked. We're all chicks so that's cool, but bare-naked with glitter, that was about it.

So then my friend's telling me about the club a little and that's when I find out I'm not going to be wearing anything either, which is like 'wow I wish she'd told me or something!'

We sit around talking and it's half an hour till the people start coming in, and then this tall weird looking geeky guy comes in and has this radio box for me to use on my guitar. Wireless. He starts plugging it into my guitar and showing me how it works and then leaves. I'm feeling pretty special actually because here I am playing just a couple of days and I've already got a wireless thingie on my guitar strap!

So then the time goes by and my friend says for me to get undressed. I don't mind, really, because it's all chicks in the band, and when Ava, my friend, tells me it's a chick-club, that makes me feel even better. So I stand right there and strip down naked, and then the other girls are helping me put the body glitter on and I've still got some 'elastic lines' from my underwear, but they're telling me it won't matter because of the lights.

Then they see my snatch is bald and Ava tells me that it's a sort of 'semi-natural' club meaning they prefer that the performers have at least pubic hair. So I'm thinking 'okay, but I can't just grow it on the spot!'

Ava and the girls have some tricks in their makeup kits and in a few minutes they've made me a glue-on muff, and I glue it on, and...problem solved.

Then it's only like ten minutes before we go on and we can already hear people cheering and stuff and I suddenly feel like I'm going to vomit. I mean just totally upchuck green bile and the whole thing. It was exciting and an honor to be there but now I'm getting stage-fright and I have to tell you, it's pretty fucked up. Props to musicians who go onstage every night!

Then I'm padding out with all of them toward the stage (padding because we're all barefoot), and we reach the stage and the lights are just beaming down like lasers and I feel faint. But then the drummer starts and I totally freeze up, and my friend nudges my shoulder with hers and nods and I go "What the fuck am I doing?" and she just grins at me.

"Just play loud and don't worry about anything." she says.

Then she's playing and I watch her for a second and really get impressed. I mean she's strumming all these chords I never saw before and she's grinning and stomping around and the bass player's playing really loud and the drummer is kickin' and so I just start playing.

I don't have the foggiest fucking notion what I'm doing but I'm making noise and looking at the band girls and I feel really good inside because I'm actually a part of something.

Then I glance out over the audience and feel sick again, but not as bad as before. I mean with all the lights, you really can't see anything but shadows out there, so I start getting a little braver and going out to the front of the stage and exaggerating my playing motions and the people cheer and then I step back so Ava can go up front and sing.

I really start to feel good about things. I mean, I have my guitar strap really long and the body of the guitar is right down where it counts so I don't feel so totally naked. When I turn around to head back toward the drums and amps my rear is obviously showing, but it wasn't until maybe the third song that I realized that every time I turned, the cheers got louder.

So I'm thinking, 'time to experiment.' The next time I charge up to the front of the stage, I lift my guitar up sorta over my head to show everything I have and the whole place goes nuts. That's when I take a really good look at the front row of people (all tough looking biker chicks), and they're staring right at where I thought they'd be staring—my crotch—and they're just cheering and smiling and really enjoying themselves!

Then the first 'set' is over and it's been forty-five minutes but it feels like only five minutes have gone by. The crowd is screaming so loud it's making my ears hurt, but we all get off stage and take a break.

I'm sweating so bad my butt nearly slides off the chair when I sit down in the dressing room, and everyone seems really pumped and happy about how it's going—especially Ava. She comes up and pats my shoulder.

"God, you're really a hit!" she tells me and I telling her that she's the one they're cheering for because she's the lead guitarist and singer and all that. She just nods and smiles, but tells me I'm the real center of attraction.

So anyhow, fifteen minute break and then we're onstage again doing songs I never heard of and I'm playing really loud and hitting wrong notes and stuff and it doesn't seem to matter. I'm actually glancing over at the bassist—Syndi—and trying to follow her fingers, and a couple of times I actually was playing the same notes she was.

Not that it mattered though! It was like nothing could go wrong. Everybody was cheering so loud it was incredible, and then that set ended and we went back and were all sitting there out of breath but feeling really good. It went like that for the next couple of sets and by that time I was feeling like I'd gone jogging for ten miles or something. I was really beat, but ready for the last go at things.

Then Ava comes up and tells me that the final set's a little bit different than all the rest and that it always was, and that was where we really made our tips. I was thinking 'cool', but then Syndi leans over and adds "You just watch us. You don't have to follow what we do, but if you want, it's cool, okay?"

And so I'm nodding and I have no frickin idea what's going on.

We take a half hour break this time and the girls are just gulping sodas and water and orange juice, and then the floor starts rumbling like there's an earthquake because the audience is stomping their feet for our return. We get up and head for the stage and Ava and Syndi are saying something about whether I know an "E chord" and the name sounds familiar so I nod and right before we get onstage, they both tell me that I'll be playing that chord a lot. So I'm nodding like an idiot and then the drums start and everything goes crazy again.

It's great!

Then towards the end Syndi changes basses. Her first one was a Fender bass, but now she picks up this other one that's been on the stand all night. I was really loving how it looked because the body is made of clear, see-through plastic or glass or something (probably plastic), and I was thinking maybe I could get a guitar like that because it's so fucking cool looking.

So she puts it on and we start the next song, and she's yelling to me that this is the song where I play my E chord, so I nod and the drummer kicks it, and we're playing. I was thinking it must be a hit song or something because the crowd gets even louder, and then we're playing and I'm having a great time because I actually know this fucking chord—I mean I really know it. So I'm playing along, grinning at the audience and lifting my guitar like it was a skirt so I can show them my fake bush, and then all of a sudden I notice that everyone in the audience is looking to my left, where Syndi is standing. I turn and look and nearly freak out!

Syndi has taken her bass off (the cool clear one), and is bumping it bottom-first against the stage. It's making this huge roaring sound because all the strings are vibrating at the same time. I just keep playing my chord and watching, and the crowd is cheering like crazy, and then Alf, one of the club guys, rushes onstage with this small video camera. I look around the club and all these video screens light up and show what Alf's got his camera aimed at.

—Which is Syndi thumping her bass on the floor.

So I'm thinking 'cool! Just like on music videos!' I start strumming harder and the drummer's playing louder and Ava's dancing around while she's watching Syndi, and all of a sudden Syndi kneels on the stage with her bass right in front of her, spreads her knees and then pulls the bass right up between her thighs.

It's totally sexy, I'm thinking, especially since you can see right through the thing.

But then Syndi gets her feet out from under her and lays back a little bit and spreads her legs almost into a split, and with one heel she presses the back-side of her bass right up against her pussy! Alf moves in close with his camera and all you can see on the video monitors is her beautiful, swollen pussy lips all mooshed up flat against the bass—like when someone presses their face to a window and squooshes it around!

My mouth just falls open at that point, but when Syndi starts rubbing the bass up and down against her cunt, I almost forget what I'm doing! I mean you can see her pussy squishing up then down and up and down over and over again. Then, because she's getting moist, the thing starts to slide and make a wet streak on the clear plastic.

Then she lays totally flat on her back and uses both heels to press the thing against her and the cheers from the crowd are just deafening. I'm still strumming away and Ava's dancing around like some cute, nude pixie, but it's all Syndi's show.

Her 'solo' I guess.

And what makes it even more sexy is that guitars have that sort of 'female' shape to them with the 'shoulders' and the 'waist' and the 'hips' so it was like a clear-bodied woman between Syndi's spread legs, and it was just totally fucking her to pieces. And then she reaches up around the neck and starts playing notes!

The whole thing—the sights and sounds and the roar of the crowd—it was so intense and primal that at one point I realized I was getting wet too. It wasn't sexual, but in a way it really was. I felt a shiver go through me, a hot flush, and then a bare shoulder is bumping mine and I look and Ava's giving me this grin and a wink. I keep playing my chord, and she skips back to her side of the stage opposite Syndi, and without even blinking, she takes her guitar off, places it on the floor like Syndi originally did, but instead of clamping it between her thighs, Ava simply positions her cunt directly over the lower 'horn' of her guitar—it has two like Syndi's whereas mine just as the lower one—and then lowers herself down.

Alf's camera catches the moment that the horn slides up into Ava's pussy, and that's when I feel an orgasm almost happening for me. Like this vein of incredible tension behind my navel just twisting and squeezing. On the one side this cute lady is on her back being 'humped' by her bass, while on the other side the cute guitarist is using her guitar like a loud, vibrating dildo!

Plus the fact is that Ava's guitar has one of those bar things you pull and push on to make the notes go higher or lower, and as she's going up and down on her guitar she's using her knee to work that bar. The sound from her amp is incredible—all loud and screaming and she's making the notes all go up and down and she's going up and down and the camera is so close-up you can see her secretions just dripping down her guitar!

Me? I'm still holding my one chord, strumming away. It's just all noise and the drumming is going on and there's this thundering sound because Syndi is now beating the face of her bass with her heels, and I'm standing there wishing the song would end because I really, really needed to go to the bathroom and finger myself off!

Then the inevitable thing happens. I'm standing there surrounded by two ladies in the midst of having sex with their instruments, and they're groaning and moaning full-out now, and I cum. I'm just standing there trying to mind my own business and I cum and it's such a big orgasm that I squirt down my legs.

It's not my fault though.

Then I sort of lose it. My guitar is totally unlike the other two but now I feel a need to make love to it. I don't have anything planned, but I gently lay it down on the floor and straddle it. It's making that screaming noise like Ava's is but I don't care. You can actually look and see the strings vibrating all on their own, but I lean down low and kiss the 'upper shoulder' of 'her' and my lips bump the little switch that's sticking out right there. It's a switch with a white plastic knob on it (like a teardrop), and you use it to switch from one sound to the other, or both of them at once. I lick the tip of that knob, and it's like a nipple or a clit or something, and the crowd is ear-shattering as they clap and yell and hoot. Then I purse my lips and get the knob between them and slowly go up and down on it, and I sense Alf's camera right there and just go along with it.

But then I push the switch up and the sound changes, and then push it the other way and make it sound the other way. It's really exciting. It's like she's screaming and moaning with all these different sounds and I'm the one doing it. It's so thrilling it makes me cum again and then I blank out even more.

I think I must've licked the entire face of my guitar and used my lips to turn the knobs on the bottom part of it. But there was also one part where I knelt with the guitar facing me and used just my nipples to brush the strings. The whole sound was loud and almost ear-splitting, but the crowd really loved it. I kept swaying back and forth, brushing those strings and the more I brushed, the hotter I got. It was almost like 'she' was caressing me back with light, metal kisses, and I was so lost in the feeling and the emotion and the pleasure of it, I only snapped out of it when I heard the drums suddenly stop and looked up in time to see Monique, our drummer, go dashing past me toward the front of the stage.

I lifted my head and watched as she did a swan dive into the audience, and then blinked and pulled away from my guitar so I could see better. I remembered that I was supposed to play my one chord so I started playing it again from where I was on the floor, but I was watching Monique being floated around on the hands of all the audience—crowd surfing!

But as she was being passed around, audience members weren't just holding her up; hands were reaching up and touching her everywhere else too—countless hands caressing and fondling her, lips kissing her shoulders, her thighs, her hips. She started writhing as she floated around and seeing her like that, so totally at the mercy of pleasure like that, well, it brought everything in me to the surface.

I wanted—needed—that too!

I watched her start to jerk and shake, and there I was, kneeling with my guitar, playing my E chord, so close to cumming again it was stupid!

I mean, to see people actually licking the sweat from her armpits and face?

Then she was passed back to the stage, but before she got behind her drums again, she grabbed her drumsticks, inserted them up her cunt one at a time and then tossed them at the audience. Cheers, howls, and then she hurried back to her drum kit and started playing again. The whole place was just cheering and screaming, and then Ava, who was now on her back with her guitar on top of her, rolled to her feet and looked back at me. She cocked her head at the audience, signaling for me to follow, and then she and Syndi put their instruments on their stands, leaped into the audience and started to be passed around while Monique went into a crazy drum solo. I couldn't stand it any longer. I got several glimpses of Ava and Syndi not only being groped but actually having their pussies eaten out that I finally put my guitar on its stand and dove into the audience to follow them.

I was cumming the moment I felt hands holding me, and then I was treated to the same things the others were. Fingers slipping into my cunt, hands reaching over to fondle my boobs, mouths sucking my fingers and toes, tongues carving up between my ass-cheeks. I was floating on a cloud and cumming at the same time, and for me at least, time stopped.

Then as Monique's big, loud drums kept thundering, the audience brought Syndi, me and Ava together above their heads. They moved us closer and closer and finally got us so we were in a circle, and since I was so totally horny, the moment I found a snatch near my mouth I just started licking it! Syndi's first, I think.

Then they turned us and turned us, all the while touching each of us wherever they wanted, and when it seemed that a year had gone by, I found myself floating back to the stage and being pushed up to my feet. I was woozy, shivering inside and out but feeling wonderful. When I saw Syndi and Ava back onstage with me I wanted to just jump them and lick them all over, but then they were strapping their guitars back on and I did the same. I remembered my chord and started playing it, and then there was a big drumming finish and we all ended the song.

That one song had lasted for nearly an hour, but somehow it had felt like an eternity.

The good kind of eternity though!

When we got back to the dressing room, I discovered that my false-muff was missing. I think I remembered some biker lady clamping her teeth down on it and then I'd been pulled away and she'd gotten an unexpected souvenir! We all rested, but could hear the crowd chanting for an encore. I didn't know if I could even walk let alone go back out there. I looked around at my bandmates and they were all nodding and grinning, so I decided if they would, I would. I had to go to the bathroom first though.

"Uh, just wait on that." Ava said, and then she and the others got up and went out. I followed.

This time after we started the song, Ava went tiptoeing off the side of the stage over this narrow bridge thing and we all followed her and finally arrived at the bar. Everyone was gathered below us and we all started to stroll along the bar while everyone was screaming and holding up their glasses. I was just playing my one and only chord (with Monique now playing some sort of portable electronic tambourine thingie) and since I had no idea what's going on, I just watched.