Rachel's Life as an Exhibitionist

Hi I am Rachel and this is my second story and I hope you enjoy it. This is a true story about my life and what it has been like being burdened with the urge of being an exhibitionist. It is intended to be an insight into the thoughts and actions of a real girl / woman who is a closet and sometimes not so closet exhibitionist.

This I fear will be a fairly tame story for some of you and there is not a terrific amount of incredible sex in this story. It is not about me gang banged by a rugby team and if you like such fast moving stories where the action starts in the first paragraph before you know anything about the characters then this story will not be for you and you should move on.

This is an unusual story on Literotica in that it will give you a very rare insight into the mind of a real live mature woman exhibitionist. No real woman will normally be available or willing to share these real life emotions, confessions and insights and I am only doing it because it is helpful to me, and I enjoy it. In addition, it is a turn on to tell you exhibitionist and voyeur aficionados what it is REALLY like being a real life long exhibitionist. I have a husband, a reputation, and a career and I cannot just do the things that people make up in unbridled fiction but in this story, I will tell you what I have done in real life. None of my friends or family knows these things about me but such is the bizarre nature of the internet that you, whom I have never met, will.

My story is erotic but you need to get into the rhythm of it. What makes it erotic is that these are real events that have all happened to me. It is not an unbridled fantasy like most erotic fiction where anything and everything can happen but probably did not. if you do not like subtle stories about the urge to exhibit ones' body and be naked in front of others then please do not read it and please do not leave nasty feedback saying that my story is dull or boring just because it does not contain huge amounts of fucking. I have been very careful to place it in the Exhibitionist and Voyeur category.

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Let me tell you a little about myself. I'm in my early forties and have been married for twenty years to my husband Andy. We have two children and we live in the south west of England. I have shoulder length blonde hair and am pretty in a girl next-door sort of way. People say I have a nice smile and that my eyes and face light up when I laugh which is as often as possible. I have always had to watch what I eat but have kept the weight off and remained slim and I am 5'5"" tall. I have always liked to dress in such a way as to make the most of what I have and look as attractive and feminine as I can. I work full time in a high street office in a professional job (don't want to give too much away) and so get the chance to wear smart two piece suits with above the knee skirts. I always wear nice lingerie and just the thought that it is there turns me on.

Back when I was twenty I was very slim, probably too skinny really and my breasts were smaller too before I had had children. I am only about 34 inches now but back then I was sporting no more than 32 inches but they were very firm and pert. Rachel is not my real name of course although I do like it and it does suit me but I need to protect my anonymity if I am going to share all this intimate stuff about me.

I met my future husband Andy at the beginning of my second year at Bristol University. We were not on the same course and we just got talking at the bar in the students union. We clicked right from the word go and it was one of those situations where within half an hour you just knew that as a minimum we were going to be great friends and there was sexual chemistry between us from the outset. We became a couple pretty much immediately.

If I am honest I have always been an exhibitionist-I was born like it although of course I did not know that it was a recognised disorder with a name until I was grown up. What I do know is that it is a very strong compulsion that is very hard to overcome. I have always had a thing about enjoying taking my clothes off. I adore swimming in the nude in the sea although the opportunities for this in the UK are obviously very rare. But increasingly I discovered that I found brazenly exhibiting my body thrilling and I wanted more and more of this thrill of teasing blokes and even girls to be honest. Anyone will do! I just love being naked in public although sadly due to all the obvious reasons I have not actually done it that many times. They say there is a stripper inside very woman-well there definitely is inside this one.

I have always loved the feel of being naked and always loved running my hands over the cheeks of my bum and over my thighs and breasts. From a young age I have loved squeezing my thighs together when i am naked and feeling the sensation that I get of squeezing my pussy between them. I love the feeling of cool air around my fanny when I take off my knickers and the greatest delight is jumping into a cold swimming pool or a warm Jacuzzi stark naked. I love the freedom of nakedness and the complete lack of restriction through not wearing clothes. At home I prefer to parade around naked or semi naked as often as possible although I do not do this when the kids are about.

I have always wanted to take my clothes off in front of people and find it a real turn on. I just do not understand why most people are so worried and embarrassed about even a glimpse of their bodies being seen. If I am in a changing room at the gym the other women usually go to such lengths to keep covered up and not be seen even by other women whereas I love the excuse to parade around naked legitimately and dry myself without any shyness at all-quite the opposite actually. I would actually prefer if changing rooms were mixed but I suspect not many women would agree with that.

One of my earliest memories of exhibitionism was when I was only about only 8 years old. I remember it as if it were yesterday. I had gone to my auntie's who lived nearby to play with my male cousin who was the same age. My mother was at work and I remember it was a hot summer afternoon and my auntie was keen to sunbathe herself and had set us up with a paddling pool and hosepipe in the garden. I ,of course, knew nothing about sex at that age and did not understand what was driving me but I remember even at that young age wanting to get out of the stupid bikini I had been put in. I also remember wanting my cousin to take it off me but I suspect he was and remains 'normal' and you have to be pretty weird to want to be stripped off by someone else at age 8 but I am just being honest with you.

Anyway, I remember we were squirting each other with the hose and completely soaked and I decided that I would strip off and instead dry off with a large towel around me. Can you believe that I actually laid down on the grass giggling and dared my cousin to pull my briefs down? After a bit of persuading and a lot of giggling he did too. I learnt then for the first time how unbelievably wonderful it felt to be undressed by another person. When I felt those briefs travelling down my legs I was hooked for life. To this day I love the feeling of someone else pulling my panties down. I took my top off myself and that was the first amazing pleasurable experience I had being naked with an audience. My cousin thought it very funny . My cousin was very impressionable and in awe of me and followed suit.

I rolled around on the grass showing myself off giggling for a few minutes not understanding why it felt so interesting and not knowing that this was early sexual arousal. I then wrapped myself in a bath towel. I have always loved being naked in company with a massive towel around me and I can trace it back to this young age. This then led to me dancing wildly with this towel flying around and lifting up and falling off and my cousin was doing the same and we were laughing in hysterics. This inevitably led to us both abandoning the towels and dancing around completely starkers and laughing at the top of our voices. This disturbed my auntie who came to investigate and was shocked at what she found and I was immediately ordered sternly to get dressed, as was my cousin. I didn't think we were doing anything wrong and clearly there was nothing sexual but she seemed to think it was a big deal and told my mother and I never got invited back to play with my cousin which I thought was an over reaction. My cousin has not forgotten this episode and loves reminding me to this day about the time he stripped me and we danced naked together at my request.

Something else that sticks in my mind from my school days was when I took all my clothes off on a train. In my sixth form I used to commute by train for about 30 minutes and for the early part of the journey I was with a group of friends but they all got off before me and I was always left to do the last 15 minutes on my own. I do not know why but I became obsessed with the challenge and the dare to myself of taking all my clothes off between two stations. It used to be that there was a 10 minute run between the third and second to last stations and every day I used to dream about whipping all my clothes off as the train pulled out of the station and getting them on again before it arrived at the penultimate station. I knew there was enough time; the issue was whether I could be sure I would not be caught in the act. This obsession went on for weeks until I had worked out my plan and was then inexorably drawn to execute it.

I can remember my school uniform so well. In the summer, it used to be a thin cotton dress with feint narrow pink and white stripes. It used to fully button up from top to bottom at the front. In truth I had grown two inches since I got this dress two years before but it was only worn in the summer term which was coming to an end and I was off to Uni after that so there was no point in buying a longer one. When I sat down the hem used to rise up obscenely above my mid thigh. I was always trying to tug it down in vain but as you can imagine I loved that dress.

In those days, some trains had lots of small individual compartments with a corridor down one side of the coach. At the rear of the train, they used to have the First Class compartments, which were always lightly used anyway and I decided I would do it in one of those.

However, there still remained some risk but it was a risk I felt so drawn to take. The final piece of my plan was to make a hand written sign that the compartment was out of order and not in use. As I say, there were about 16 compartments in each coach so they would not miss one and I chose the very last one at the rear of the train anyway. Each compartment had a sliding door to the corridor in the middle and a glass window each side. There were plastic roller blinds that could be pulled down on the two windows and the door to give privacy from the corridor . On the day in question as soon as the train pulled out of the station I pulled the three blinds down in my first class compartment and stuck my notice on the glass with sellotape such that it would be visible from the corridor. I was so excited that I was finally going to do this thing and hoped that it would stop preying on my mind in the future when I had got it out of my system.

I was dressed as usual in the thin cotton dress and no tights so I was able to get that and my bra off in an instant. I could have got my panties off just as quick but I wanted to enjoy taking them down slowly. The seats were bench type so I laid myself out down the length of one side. The whole situation was so scary with the prospect that another passenger or the train guard could have opened the door at any moment that my arousal was immediate. I thrust my fingers into my pussy, which was sopping wet and pulled my panties down with my other hand. I drew my knees up and when my panties were just left over one foot and ankle I ceremoniously kicked them off and went for gold in triumph. My free hand was now available to run over my nipples and stroke the side of my thighs and generally help arouse me. I spread my legs as wide as I could and put my hand between them and went to work on my firm and very reliable clitty. I was always good at bringing myself off but the circumstances this time were so erotic that a speedy conclusion was guaranteed and so there I was moaning away coming and stark naked in my very own railway carriage.

After I came I looked at my watch and knew I still had about 3 minutes left and I stood up and started cavorting and dancing around the small compartment. As luck would have it another train came in the opposite direction and I was able to dance around stark naked in full view of anyone looking out of the window on the other train; it was delicious. That left me about a minute and a half and the train was already slowing down. In a panic I just put the cotton dress on again and buttoned it up but there was no time for underwear. I whipped the notice down from the glass and released the three roller blinds back to open.

Unbelievably at the next station a businessman did board the train into my coach and walked along the corridor .It was no accident that he chose my compartment as I am sure he wanted to ogle at a pretty and nubile young school girl-the dirty old man. I chuckled though as I thought if only he knew I was not wearing any underwear and what he would have seen if he had been in the carriage a few minutes before!

The old man sat opposite me in the carriage and was staring at my cleavage and legs. I had left open the top and bottom buttons so I was showing lots of cleavage and acres and acres of thigh. I had my legs crossed but because the bottom button was undone and the dress was very short anyway the dress separated for about 12 inches at the bottom and fell each side of my leg such that the two halves only just came together at the edge of my naked pussy and did little more than cover my crotch.. Having an old man voyeur fixated on me was the icing on the cake for me after my daring strip moments before. I think he had been hoping to intimidate me but he had met his match with me and my overt Lolita display was actually embarrassing him.

I went to uni at Bristol in England and when I was there it always seemed that the rugby club had a special elite status. The guys that played rugby for the uni seemed to act and behave as if they were some sort of super race and swaggered around accordingly and of course could have any girl they chose or that is how I imagined it anyway. It seemed as if they could behave as outrageously as they wished without any fear of sanction by the university administrators. There always used to be a big gig every Saturday night at the students union where there would be a major pop group performing. After that, the heavy drinking in the union bar would continue until late and the rugby club always had some enormous table with all their egotistical super stars gathered together with their groupies making lots of noise.

It was a custom that at some stage, one of the blokes would be selected to do a striptease and the accompanying song was always for some reason about a Zulu warrior and sung very loudly by everyone present. I can still hear, "Get 'em down you Zulu warrior," ringing in my ears today. The performer of the week standing on one of the tables in the middle of the rugby club group would be some strapping hulk who would have no embarrassment or reticence whatsoever like he was so confident of his prowess and physique like he was God's gift. Now the reason I am telling you this is that I used to sit in the audience every week and be so envious, so jealous that these blokes could do this and everyone accepted it as OK. I would have given anything to change places with one of them and stood on a table and been the centre of attention like that. I would have so loved that to have been me. I just thought they did not know how lucky they were to be able to outrageously display their nudity in front of everybody. I would have given anything to do that but I knew it would never be acceptable for a female to do that especially in the students union.

I had become so obsessed and preoccupied with the idea after watching the bloody rugby club prima donnas so often. I became more and more obsessed with the notion of performing a live striptease when the circumstances did make it vaguely acceptable and appropriate. I used to imagine taking my clothes off so much and used to even think about it when I chose my underwear when I went out in the evening should the opportunity ever arise. Athough during the day in those days I did not usually wear a bra, when I went out in the evenings to a party where I thought my chance to a strip might finally come bizarrely I actually used to put a bra on so I would have more to take off at the crucial point!

Well it finally did come my way towards the end of my first year when I was at a wild party that I had been invited to and would know hardly any people there. It was in a large shared student's house and I went with a girl friend. It was a different department and it felt anonymous. It was late and my friend had decided to go home without me so I was there on my own and had been drinking heavily so was well relaxed. There had been a lot of weed being smoked and the atmosphere was pretty anarchic. The truth is that I was waiting for such an opportunity and had stayed behind without my friend on the off chance that I thought finally I could do it.

I got my chance about an hour after midnight when I was in a packed room, which was dimly lit and very hot where everyone was dancing or smooching and there were more guys than girls. Perfect I thought-has my time finally come? As if it was meant to be, another girl set the tone when she lifted her skirt up to reveal her thong to the noisy approval of the others in the room. That was then I thought," Fuck me I can do a shit load better than that". If underwear is what they want just watch me. I checked again and there was absolutely no one there that I knew and I had another swig of my vodka to get some Dutch courage. My heart began racing as I contemplated my do or die run for home. So I looked around and smiled at a few boys to get their attention and then I copied her exactly to see what happened and I got exactly the same reaction. I thought it's now or never so very promiscuously put my thumbs in the top of my lacy panties and wiggled them down an inch. Of course this put me on the radar big time and although nobody knew me at least four blokes gathered around me and started chanting , "Strip, strip, Strip".

So I thought it was now or never and unzipped my skirt. After I dropped my skirt to the floor and stepped out of it I had a burst of cold feet and felt scared and thought what the hell am I doing but the group smelled blood and suddenly everyone had gathered around me in a big circle clapping . Once you have started there is no way they will let you stop. It is wonderfully exciting knowing that everybody there at that moment wants one thing and one thing only and that is to see you naked. I needed a little more encouragement and one of the blokes came over and put his arms around me while we smooched laughing and he then started unbuttoning my blouse. Of course, I was beyond the point of no return and had to let him do it else people would have thought I was a real time waster. He took it off me and actually got loads of applause. Because they all knew him and not me, it started to seem like he was getting the applause rather than me! Spurred on by the appreciation of his mates and my apparent lack of resistance, and alacrity he then reached behind my back and unhooked my bra and took it off me one arm at a time and threw it to the enraptured audience. This got an even louder cheer. He was about to remove my panties so I pushed him away.