Re-evaluating Boundaries

Three years ago, I lay nude on the diagonal of my bed resting after a rather lovely hour enjoying my spouse's body. In my brain I kept asking myself why we didn't have sex all the time.

Tom was in the bathroom washing his hands because at the exact right moment during sex, my shy-only-in-bed husband, had decided to stick his finger into my anus just before he ejaculated into my vagina. This, of course, made us cum at the same time and sent giant waves of shivers up and down my spine. The good shivers... not the bad shivers.

The thing I couldn't share with my husband was that just days ago, another man had made me shake and shiver similarly, except he had his entire penis inserted into my ass. After I'd come, I was dry mouthed and dizzy from all the panting and moaning.

Judge away. People do. You'll get no excuses from me.

I sleep with my lover, Ben, once, maybe twice, a year. And it's been that way for a decade. I love both men for very different reasons, and Ben knows about Tom, but not the other way around. And just to throw it out there... Ben is married, too.

My lover and my husband have met. We travel in some of the same social circles, but not often enough for the two of them to be overly intimate. In fact the two men enjoy each other's company, getting together for a beer often when I'm not around from time to time.

Anyway, I'm lying on the bed, spent and happy, when Tom asked, "When I travel (he's gone 3 months at a time for work), what do you fantasize about to get off?"

I couldn't very well tell him that somehow I'd made my fantasies of an older, more demanding lover a reality, so I told him about my visits to free porn sites and that often times, I'd rather write my own fantasies and listen to music and masturbate with toys to my thoughts. Then I asked him what he did when he was away. "I masturbate to porn, like you, but I just use my hand."

"See anything on the internet you want to try at home?"

He laughed. "Not really, it's not what they're doing that turns me on. It's just the naked people." He laid down on the bed and took a sip of his water. So, I rolled over onto my side and propped my head up on my hand to continue the conversation.

"Are you telling me you don't fantasize about anything or anyone in particular when you masturbate?"

"No. It's pretty much a visual of nudity and a lot of friction."

"How boring," I teased. "No typical male fantasies of threesomes?"

"You know I thought about this once, but I don't think I know any women who would really be up for it. And I'd be too nervous about sexually transmitted diseases to go outside our circle."

"Ha. I understand that. Okay, well what if you were picking another man for me to have my dream threesome, not that another woman wouldn't be okay, too."

"This is hypothetical, right?"

"Of course."

"Ben." He said clearly. A more paranoid woman would think that he knew something.

"Why Ben specifically?" I was very curious.

"Because I think with all the sexual bravado that Ben puts out there to everyone that he'd want to do it and wouldn't be looking for an emotional attachment. I think he'd also be able to keep his mouth shut."

It was hard not to think about my spouse sitting behind me on Ben's thighs pinching the tips of my nipples as I road my lover to orgasm. From a purely sexual point of view, it sounded wonderfully fulfilling.

It was true. Ben was the opposite of Tom regarding sexual bravado. Tom was quite happy with the monsoon versus drought we had going on in our marriage. One month it would be sex four times a week, and then we could go half a year with nothing. The only determination seemed to be me. Tom never asked for sex, but was always happy to have it when I asked. And often times, I just got tired of asking. I think I wanted something more romantic out of him, which is probably where the very romantic, sexually charged Ben fills the void. But then again, monsoon season always starts right after Ben and I see each other.

Ben is about a decade older than Tom and I. He's a lot louder and bolder than I am in my thirties, but when he's being sincere, his voice becomes exceedingly gentle. He exudes trustworthiness. When I met him I was extraordinarily shy about talking about anything that really mattered to me. It took years, but he brought me out of my shell. This was long before we slept together. The problem was, we established an intimate long-distance friendship, and then in the right circumstances -- we both jumped over the line and into a bed together. I wish I could tell you the first time was fabulous, but it really was a barrier breaker. There were so many emotions that first time, but we had years to process how we feel about each other. Even now, though, we don't talk about the emotional side too often. To do so, in Ben's mind, would be somehow cheating on his wife. Odd, since every other indicator says that he loves me as much as I love him. I guess everyone has their line, mine was after we kissed for the first time. I had to choose between never seeing him again, or putting myself directly in his path and going the whole way.

It took two years for me to be ready to have sex with Ben, and the big thing that pushed me over the edge was that he actually came right out and told me he was fantasizing about me. He wanted me. And, when your husband is gone and you're in the middle of month seven of drought season, and a very sexy, flirtatious, smart and caring man tells you he has the hots for you, it makes you feel very -- physical.

So fast forward to present day. I'm standing in the corner of a bar looking to my left where Tom is at a table talking with three men he works with and gulping down a bottle of red wine. To my right is the bar where Ben is sitting with his back to me next to someone who I'm guessing is a stranger having a beer. I've just come out of the bathroom and noticed both of them in the same room. I've had a couple of martinis and I'm feeling extraordinarily amorous, and I hope that I look somewhat sexy in my red silk dress and platform heels.

And I know, after years of being selfish and having them both at different times that what I'm about to do is the equivalent of crossing the streams on Ghostbusters. I walk toward Tom and he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close. I kiss the side of his head and whisper, "May I be so bold as to ask if I can bring Ben home to our bed tonight?"

Tom snaps his head around to look at me in the eyes. He can see I'm not joking. We'd never had a threesome. "Really?" he asked.

"Only if you're totally sure that it's okay with you." He takes a sip of wine and nods.

"Really, you're sure?" I ask again.

"Why not?" He says. "But how are we going to ask him about it?"

"It's probably best if I do it," I mention.

"In that dress, yes." he says kissing my lips. "Let me know how it goes."

"The worst he can say is no, right?" I ask.

He nods.

I slowly make my way over to the bar and sit down on the stool beside Ben. He is surprised to see me, but kisses me on the cheek and offers to order me a drink. I take him up on the offer and get a shot of tequila. Since I rarely drink when I'm with him, he knows something is up.

His new friend at the bar dismisses himself so we can talk.

"Tom is here," he says more of a clarifying statement than a question.

"Yes."

"Too bad," he says smiling into his beer.

"Actually, Tom and I were wondering if you might want to join us at our house tonight."

"You don't think that will make you too uncomfortable if we're all just sitting around drinking and chatting."

"Sex, Ben. Tom and I would like you to join us for sex."

Ben is entirely silent for a full minute. He's only ever that quiet when we make love.

"How in the world did you sell him on this idea?"

"Actually, it was Tom's idea."

Ben takes a long drink of his beer. "Does he want to fuck me?"

"I have no idea, you guys can talk about that at home, if you decide to come. But I don't want you to do it unless your inner-Ben is entirely okay with it." I put my hand momentarily on his chest to emphasize the importance of his heart.

"Sleeping with you is one thing," he started to say.

I waved my hand to indicate that he didn't need to continue. "If you're not up for it, you're not up for it. It's okay."

I stood up to go back to Tom with my tail between my legs. Ben caught me by the elbow and looked my body up and down. "Count me in. I'll meet you at your place in an hour."

I kissed him on his cheek and then returned to Tom. I nod at him and he gets up, nods at Ben and then follows me out of the bar to our car. I let him know that Ben would rather not have sex with him, and Tom is okay with that.

At home, I'm nervous. I wonder how many lines I'm crossing. I'm wondering if Tom will be able to tell that Ben and I are lovers. I wonder how many times I can orgasm before I lose consciousness.

I change from my dress into a silk robe and get myself a glass of water. Tom disappears to his office to "get some things done" like it's an ordinary night at home. When the doorbell rings, I get up to answer it. Do I kiss him on the lips and just go at it or do I welcome him in and get him a drink and the three of us see if there are any ground rules? There should be some kind of guidebook for beginners, I think.

I can feel my knees tremble as I turn the knob and open the door to see him standing in my doorway. In all the years we'd been together, we'd never had sex together in our homes. Ben stood there looking much less nervous than I was. He had a bottle of champagne in his hand and some store-bought brownies. Before he could say anything, Tom was behind me welcoming him into the house.

"I'll take those," I said taking the kind of house warming gifts into the kitchen. Tom and Ben shook hands like he was coming to dinner. Ben declined Tom's offer for a drink. It was all very odd.

Then Tom sat on the couch and Ben sat in the chair and I stood in the middle of the living room. Both men were still dressed in their jeans and button down shirts. Ben wore a sports coat. And both of them were staring at me.

"What?" I asked sheepishly.

"You've got us here," Ben said. "What do you intend to do with us?"

"Boundaries," I answered quietly.

"It's not a bad place to start," Tom said casually, like he was negotiating something at work. "Ben and I have no desire to be intimate with each other. In my mind, this is mostly about you and the pleasure you get from being with two men -- and the pleasure each of us gets from experiencing the magic of you."

"I like that," Ben said smiling. "Is there anything you do not find pleasurable?" Ben asked.

I tried not to shoot him a look of annoyance. He knew my boundaries just fine. But to keep up appearances I made sure he knew that I didn't like my ears kissed. That I preferred the back of my neck to be kissed, and that I was a kisser. I loved kissing and touching with my finger tips. Other than that, I was open to pretty much anything.

Both men nodded. "What about you guys?" I asked.

"I'd like to watch you pleasure yourself and Tom before I join in," Ben said.

Tom turned red. "I can't promise that we look at all good naked. We've never even filmed ourselves, so we have no idea what we look like."

"Authenticity is actually quite appealing to me, Tom. Don't be anxious. Besides, we have the same body type, I'm just a little taller. But I promise, no pictures."

It was true. Height was pretty much the deciding physical factor. Both men had broad shoulders, good hair, well-trimmed facial hair and smallish beer bellies from way too much business travel.

There was a pause of silence while both men looked at their feet. I figured I was the one to have gotten us all there, so I untied my robe. The slow and deliberate movement of my hands got the attention of both men. Ben nestled back into the oversized chair. Tom's eyes met mine. When the robe fell to the floor, I walked over to him slowly and straddled his lap. We kissed for a long time with my hands running through his hair. My fingers lightly stroked the sides of his neck. His hands wrapped around my low back and slid up my sides to play with my nipples. The stroke of his thumbs on the tips of my breasts made me wiggle over his lap. I heard Ben let out a sigh.

I unbuttoned each of Tom's shirt buttons with great care and pushed the material back over his shoulders and helped him pull the shirt off. His skin was so warm. He pulled me closer and then lay me down on the couch. As his lips moved down my throat and chest to my breasts, I drew my knees up and rested a foot on his ass. I could feel the soft denim under my toes, and I rubbed my foot up and down. He took a nipple into his mouth and bit down to hold the skin firm while his tongue flicked over the tip. I moaned and bucked agains this jeans.

Then I whispered into Tom's ear. He nodded and did his favorite nipple trick again. I was soaked between my legs. He sat up and I walked down to the bedroom.

"Grab a kitchen chair, Ben," I heard Tom tell him. "She's going to play with some toys for us."

I had put down a towel in the middle of our bed, changed out the batteries in my favorite vibrator and put my Phone on my favorite playlist on the dock next to our bed. The guys came in with chairs and then went back for beer while I got ready in the middle of the bed. I put a pillow behind my head and bent my knees. My legs were spread, the lights were on, and each of them, once they were seated, had a full-on view of my entirely shaved nakedness.

My favorite vibrator has a moderate-sized dildo for insertion with a vibrating egg for the clitoris and a textured anal stimulator. I turned on the toy and started to stimulate myself. I tried to pretend that neither of them were in the room. My first clitoral orgasm came within minutes, but that's not what I wanted to show them. Both of them knew that I could ejaculate, but it had only happened twice in 20 years having sex with Tom and Ben had only seen it via web cam. It was something that most often happened during masturbation, which I most often did alone.

My second orgasm began to build immediately.I squeezed my pelvic floor tightly against the dildo and pushed the anal stimulator further into my body. And then the waves started rolling from my clit to my toes and ejaculate flooded the towel beneath me.

Both men know that I have a G spot that does not fail me. If I wanted to, I could pretty much come all day long. Other people get tired from it, the dose of chemicals to my brain just makes me want more. I tried to close my legs and sit up, but when I did, I found Ben's left hand on my shoulder keeping me down and his right hand on my thigh keeping my legs open.

"I've had enough watching," Ben said. I nodded and he moved to his knees at the end of the bed and pulled my legs and ass toward him. Then he put his head between my legs and lapped my cum from my dripping sex. I put my head back on the pillow and lowered my legs down to the bed stretching my hip flexors.

Tom took off his pants and underwear and crawled up on the bed with me. He suckled by my breasts and Ben continued to work my clit and labia. He slid his long fingers into my vagina coating them with my lubricant and then withdrew them enough to put his finger into my ass slowly moving them in and out. At the same time Tom clamped down on my nipples with his teeth on one and fingers on the other, I squirmed my hips which made Ben quicken his insertions. I could feel his fingers hit gold and I told him so. He was relentless and I came all over his face in seconds.

"I'm so sorry," I said quickly sitting up.

Ben picked up the towel and wiped the fluid from his beard. "Never, ever apologize for that," he said. He excused himself to the bathroom while Tom kissed me and rolled on top of me. We moved together for a few minutes until he slid his very erect penis into me. I tilted my hips to allow him deeper access and wrapped my legs around the small of his back.

When Ben came out of the bathroom, he had disrobed. He had his dick in his hand and was watching Tom and I move in rhythm while he stimulated himself. I could hear his quiet pants and the way he inhales through his teeth when he's delighted with something. I pushed Tom back onto his knees and sat up on mine. There was now enough room on the queen-sized bed for Ben to get behind me. Tom shifted me forward, so that I could insert him into me while I straddled his knees. He pushed me up and down so I could fuck him while Ben lifted my dark brown hair gently and grasped it all in his left hand while he kissed the back of my neck. His right hand manipulated the round of my breast.

"Is this what you had in mind?" Ben whispered into my ear. "Is this the pleasure you wanted?" I moaned in response, lifted off of Tom and turned to face Ben. "Lie down," I commanded. He leaned back against the pillows while I turned over onto my stomach. I propped myself up on my knees and pulled Tom to me so he could take me from behind, while I went down on Ben's penis. The boys now had clear lines of each of them taking up real estate in my body.

I kissed Ben's penis up and down before I started licking. His eyes rolled into the top of his head when I took him from base to tip ravenously.

"Play with her nipples," Tom instructed as he ran his fingers down my spine.

Ben showed that he had been paying attention earlier and flicked and pinched at the tips just enough that it was borderline pleasure and pain. I began to squirm, so Tom held my hips tighter and increased his depth and speed.

I have to admit it was hard to concentrate on giving a good blow job while the two of them worked me into sexual oblivion. Tom went to his sure fire move and stimulated my anus. My spine felt like it was going to shoot out of my body in pleasure as Tom and I came together.

As soon as I was done, Ben put his hands under my armpits and slid me up so that I was sitting on his dick. "Help me out, Tom."

My husband slid behind me and played expertly with my nipples while I rode Ben. He was long and hard inside of me, but I knew he wasn't going to come. He never comes when I'm on top. But holy cow does he like to watch me work. It was less than 10 minutes when I came while sitting straight up on his body and another two after that when I came leaning forward kissing him as I moved. I needed a break, so I rolled off of his body, leaving the two men staring at me.

"I'm going to get her some water," Tom said.

"I promise to be gentle to her while you're gone," Ben responded.

I lay on my left side turned away from Ben. He put a pillow under my hips and pulled me up to his body as he sat in front of me on his knees. He wet his fingers with saliva and began to manipulate me with his fingers again. This time he took wide, slow, circular strokes.

"You okay?" he asked softly.

I nodded not opening my eyes.

"Look at me, please."

I met his eyes as his fingers began to warm up my anus. "There are those lovely blue eyes. They look so -- lustful."

I nodded again.

"Are you ready for me?" he asked.

I sighed and pulled his clean, left hand to my lips and kissed it.

Then he began slow insertion of his dick into my ass. Back and forth a little at a time, until "whoa" I gripped onto his arm. My insides adjusted to the invasion.

When Tom came back, he had a drink with a straw. I took a few sips. He sat next to me on the bed watching as Ben and I had anal sex.

"How is it?"

"Oh, baby," I whispered. "It's almost too much."

"Pain?" Tom asked worried.

"No," I whispered. "The opposite."

Tom ran his fingers through my hair.

Moments later, Ben cursed, "Sweet Jesus, I'm close."

"Let her turn over, so you can come together," Tom suggested.