Reconsiderations

“I just don’t know what to do, Kim.” Sheila hesitated with the spoonful of chocolate ice cream just near her mouth. She gazed at it, but didn’t really see it. Beside her, her dearest friend and confidant, Kim, was eating her own pint of cookie dough sweetness. She looked over at her contemplative friend, set her food aside and reached out to Sheila.

“Sweetie, you need to relax, is what you need,” Kim implored in her slight Southern accent. She took Sheila’s spoon, placed it in the cup and removed it from her hands entirely. Setting it aside, she hugged Sheila tightly, noticing tears welling in her eyes. Sheila responded by snuggling against her, welcoming the comforting embrace. It wasn’t the first time Kim had consoled her over the years, but this time was so unexpected.

A little over a week ago, Sheila had come home early from a training seminar she needed to complete her medical degree. It was supposed to last a month, but she had received such high marks and displayed, as her advisor termed it, “exemplary knowledge of the material.” She was allowed to leave early and decided not to inform her boyfriend, Steve, opting to surprise him. Arriving at his apartment, prepared to indulge in a night out with the best guy she’d dated—ending, and likely beginning, with some passionate sexual antics, she’d slipped in quietly. It wasn’t too late, but the place was dark and Steve likely sleeping, so she silently made her way to his room and opened the door, planning to slip into his bed and wake him up in the sexiest ways she could think of. What she’d found shocked, angered, saddened and frightened her.

In the moonlight, her eyes adjusted to see her man sitting on the edge of his bed, completely naked, but not alone. Standing before him was another naked body, a male one. It took her several moments to realize that it was in fact Steve’s best friend, Keith. Steve was sucking Keith’s cock. Both men were moaning and obviously enjoying the situation. Sheila could only watch in stunned silence. Keith’s hands caressed and combed Steve’s hair. Steve’s hands played across Keith’s ass and thighs. He reached up to caress his balls and grip his shaft as he sucked and licked the head, stopping to kiss it from time to time. Keith moaned and muttered something about loving when he did that.

The comment struck Sheila. This wasn’t the first time they’d been together like this. She wanted to run away, she wanted to scream...she wanted... She could only watch. The sight of two men together didn’t disgust her. She’d had a couple gay friends in college who’d put on a show for her one night when they’d all smoked weed together. It had been something of a turn-on, really, forbidden, but exciting and different. It wasn’t something she had expected or wanted to see the man she loved doing.

She returned from her thoughts when Keith groaned loudly and came in Steve’s mouth, who took it with ease. He swallowed his friend’s cum like he’d been doing it all his life. Sheila realized she didn’t know how long he had indeed been doing it.

After what seemed like forever, Steve finally pulled his lips off Keith drooping cock. Keith bent forwarded, pulled Steve’s face to his and kissed him deeply. Somehow, that shocked her more than anything and a gasp escaped her lips before her hand could cover her mouth. The men looked at her. Steve’s eyes widened when he saw her watching them.

Before anything could be said or done, Sheila turned and left without looking back. As she started her car and began to drive away, Steve came running after her, wearing only sweatpants. She never paused, just drove away—straight to Kim’s. Steven had assumed as much and called several times, but neither woman answered the phone, only listened to him on the answering machine beg Sheila to call him and talk things out. She had no desire to do so.

Her mind flashing back to the present, Sheila snuggled with Kim as her friend pulled a blanket around them. They were quiet for several moments.

“My boyfriend is gay,” Sheila finally put out. She had a slight accent of her own, but she had left her and Kim’s hometown sooner and it wasn’t as pronounced anymore.

Kim laughed slightly. “No, he’s not, Sheila. You’ve told me enough intimate details of your sex life to assure you of that fact. I’ve slept with a truly gay man, though he was in denial at the time. They don’t do that much for you, and I know that you and Steve have rocked each others worlds.”

Sheila hadn’t expected the rebuttal. “Okay, then he’s bisexual. And right now, he’s enjoying the company of men. Or maybe he always has. Maybe he and Keith get it on all the time when I’m away and I just caught them for the first time. Maybe all of his friends are queers and have big gay circle jerks on the weekends.”

“Hey,” Kim shot her a look. “You’re not that kind of person.”

No, she wasn’t, but Sheila wanted to vent and Kim wasn’t being terribly supportive of it at the moment. Kim sensed as much.

“Sheila, dear,” she said, “are you more upset that he’s into this or that he didn’t tell you?”

Sheila didn’t respond. She wasn’t honestly sure of the answer.

Kim continued. “See, Steve could just be bi-curious. Okay, actually sucking a guy off makes you a little more than curious, but I’m saying that maybe he just enjoys that aspect of being gay. It doesn’t mean he fantasizes about guys when he’s having sex with you. It doesn’t even mean he finds guys attractive. It could be just Keith. They’ve been friends for years, since they were kids, right? Well, what if they first explored sexuality together and they never quite stopped? I recall telling you all about the first time I played with myself, the first time I gave a guy head, first sex…hell, you lived vicariously through me many times before you starting messing with guys. Sure, I was a slut, but that’s not the point.”

Kim smiled, attempting to lighten the mood with humor. Sheila just kind of looked at her. She was dumbfounded that her friend seemed to be defending what Steve had done. She told her as much.

“I’m not defending it. It was a shitty way for you to find out, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or want to be with you. The fifty-odd phone calls a day tell you that.

“Sheila, I just want you to think this over before you throw away what I think is the best relationship you’ve ever had.”

Sheila thought for a moment. “Okay, Kim, I get the point. I just don’t know if I can be with someone who enjoys giving head to a guy more than I do. I’d always expect the other foot to drop—for him to decide that that’s all he wants, that he really is gay.”

Kim nodded and thought to herself for a few minutes. She decided to say what was on her mind and hope it drove home the point. Sheila had been her closest friend for so long and she knew that at heart, she was an open-minded and understanding person, but she wasn’t certain about how some things would set in their relationship. So she just laid it out for her.

“I’ve slept with a few women in my life and I’m not gay. Don’t have any plans to become a lesbian, either. I love men way too much.”

Sheila was taken aback, as Kim expected. She felt her pull away from their closeness, but at least she didn’t get up entirely.

“Are you…are you serious?” Kim nodded to her.

“I’m sorry I never told you before, but I wasn’t sure how you’d take it. I figured it was the best way to illustrate my point and get the only secret I’ve ever kept from you (I swear) off my chest.”

Sheila’s mind felt cloudy, full of thoughts, words, ideas…confusion. She’d seen her boyfriend having sex with his best guy friend and her best and closest gal pal just told her she’d slept with women.

“Am I the only person who’s not fucking someone of the same gender?”

Kim reached out and held Sheila’s hands. “Do you think less of me for doing so? I’m being honest with you. It’s not my preferred sex, but I enjoyed it…and I’d do it again if the right girl came along.”

Sheila looked at Kim for several moments, trying to make sense of it all. Her mind cast back to their years together, to the good and bad times they’d weathered together. Kim was special to her, always would be. She’d never held her promiscuity with men against her, even if she did disapprove at times. There was no good reason to do so here, either. She was an open-minded woman and she wanted to act like one.

“No, I don’t Kim. You’re my best girlfriend, always will be. I love you and I would never think less of you for who you sleep with.” Kim smiled, somewhat relieved at the response and the two young women embraced. Kim began to cry a bit, realizing that she’d shared the only thing she’d felt guilty keeping from her friend. Sheila, hearing her sobs, hugged tighter and grew misty eyed as well.

When they finally pulled apart, Kim had composed herself a bit. Sheila wiped a stray tear from her cheek and grinned at her. “So,” she said, “anyone I know?”

“Well,” Kim drawled, and then laughed. “Only one. Remember that three bedroom we shared for a while after high school?”

Sheila’s mouth dropped open. “Carrie? The God girl? You’re shitting me!”

Kim laughed harder and shook her head. “Nope. She wasn’t always so good…except when she was really good.” She outright giggled and flushed this time. “You have no idea how many times she ran off to church after nights of sin with me.”

“I thought you completely hated her?”

“Well, I did, sort of. I mean, you know, she was so anal, so annoyingly chipper…ugh… But she was so damn beautiful, I had to have her. Never would have dreamed it was her secret weakness, too.”

Sheila shook her head, stunned. “Were you doing it when I was around?”

“No, no, she was too scared half the time when we knew you’d be long gone. Well, once, I caught her off guard in the shower while you were asleep. That was fucking incredible.” Kim’s eyes glazed over for a moment. Her fingers rubbed Sheila’s hand absently as she thought. There was a sexual tone to the gesture, inspired by the reminiscing, but Sheila didn’t mind. Like Kim had said, Sheila had been a vicarious voyeur in her sexploits in the past. She was rather enjoying it this time, too.

Kim snapped back and flashed her big smile again. Sheila could see how man or woman could be attracted to her. The blondish-brown curls of her hair framed a face that was equal parts cute and sexy. She had the body of a model, thanks to regular sessions at the gym and, most importantly to her charm, she had the attitude and wit to know her powers and use them. When they’d been teenagers, Sheila had envied her immensely. She herself had been a gawky, unglamorous girl with low self confidence but a sharp mind and likeable personality that kept her from being an outcast. Her post-teenage years had turned her into an unassumingly attractive woman in her own right. She was still skinny and never saw the point in spending hours preening in front of a mirror, but guys admired her cute, tomboyish nature.

“So, now that this all out in the open, you want to hear some more stories? I’ve always wanted to tell you about Paulina.” Sheila agreed and the two women talked for a couple hours about Kim’s experiences with the fairer sex. Kim hadn’t been this enthusiastic for telling sex stories since some of her early experiences in high school. Finally, in the late hours of the night, Kim decided to go to bed, leaving Sheila on the couch bed with a final hug and a thank you for the night of revelation. “Maybe you’ll have a new perspective on Steve.”

The mention of the name brought everything back to Sheila. She’d barely thought about him in hours. It took her some time to sleep, but when she did, she dreamed…

* * * It was the middle of the night. She was in her apartment, in bed, nearly asleep when she felt a hand slip between her legs. She realized she was naked as the hand began to caress her pussy, lightly playing over the lips and dipping inside a little further with each stroke. She moaned quietly and turned to where Steve would be lying beside her. The sudden erotic attention made her throb below the waste. She wanted him, wanted to be fucked, to have her pussy ate out, whatever she could get.

She opened her eyes to see that Steve’s back was to her. He was awake and naked as well, but he wasn’t the one touching her. Instead, he was in a 69 with another man, touching his body as they sucked dicks. She wanted to shout, to be angry, but the hand between her legs slipped a finger into her warm, wetness and she only felt intense, undeniable pleasure. If she couldn’t have her own man, she would find comfort with the one that was giving her such feelings. She rolled to her other side, realizing the bed was much larger than she’d ever noticed before.

Upon opening her eyes again, she stared into the beautiful face of Kim, who smiled at her. “Everything’s going to be all right, sweetie.” She pulled Sheila to her, and kissed her, long and deep, as her fingers explored the inner walls of her pussy. Sheila came…

* * * …awaking with a start. Her own fingers were playing in her pussy as the short, but strong orgasm subsided. She lay exhausted for several minutes before she remembered where she was. She pulled the blankets about her and looked around in the darkness, wondering if Kim had heard or seen her. The night was quiet. Listening, she could hear the radio in Kim’s room. She left it on at night to help her sleep. Not loud, but enough that she probably wouldn’t have heard Sheila if she was awake.

Momentary panic over, Sheila began to recount the dream in her head. Though she had been touching herself the whole time, the dream notion of Kim doing it was hard to shake. She thought about Steve and the other man, who might have been Keith, but she never saw his face. She thought about Kim touching her, the kiss, the feel of her, and the desire to come for her. All these thoughts mixed in her head. Her body still felt primed for sex. The orgasm had been a light one; she was used to several in one session. She felt hot, sexy, and needy. She wanted release and diddling herself wasn’t going to be enough.

She was already standing in Kim’s doorway when she realized she’d even got out of bed. What did she expect to find to help her here? Toys? A man? Kim? Was that what her body was telling her? To make her dream a reality? To have sex with her best friend, her girlfriend? Steve had done it with his best guy friend. He’d indulged a taboo for his own pleasure. She could, too. That would be fitting revenge.

No, this wasn’t about revenge. Maybe that could justify it somewhat, but this was about lust. She was horny. She’d come home eager to fuck her boyfriend and had been denied the opportunity. She’d spent half the night listening to Kim tell her sex stories. Not just any sex stories, but those with other girls. And she’d envied it. Envied the handful of women who had known her friend in the only way she herself didn’t. There was no reason she shouldn’t have that connection with her, too. No reason they couldn’t make love.

The night was warm, so Kim had left her window open slightly. A light breeze blew in, pushing the thin curtains about, casting dancing shadows on the room from a streetlight. In the middle of that light, seemingly framed by it, Kim lay on her bed. She’d kicked the blanket to the floor and lay uncovered on the sheets. She was wearing a white camisole, trimmed in lace, with matching panties, cut high on her hips, exposing her gorgeous legs.

Sheila had always thought Kim to be an exceptionally beautiful woman. But right now she was the sexiest, most desirable creature in the world. She needed no more to make up her mind. She wanted to make love to her friend all night. Is this how Steve had felt when he first chose to have sex with Keith? Was it this easy to do something you’d never considered before?

She slid onto the bed beside Kim, still admiring her lovely form. She reached out to touch her leg, near the knee, and slowly drug her palm up that smooth skin. Kim always kept her legs so smooth, so touchable. Sheila flashed back in her mind to their youth, to nights when they’d be cuddled in bed together for sleepovers, talking about boys and sex. Their legs would tangle together as they’d giggle and tease each other. Kim’s legs had been smooth then, too, so soft and comfortable. It had never seemed erotic before, but the reflection simmered in her mind with innocence since lost. She wanted to feel those legs tangled with hers now.

As her hand made its way to Kim’s thigh, she felt the strong muscle beneath the skin. Kim suddenly sighed and shifted onto her back. Sheila’s hand stayed as Kim’s thigh moved beneath it. Her fingers now rested close to her friend’s lace edged crotch. She pushed her fingers up to the frill and rubbed it as she pulled herself up the bed to lay closer to Kim. As the heat of her body became more tangible, her fingertips explored the material between those sexy legs. They found the outline of a warm, mildly damp pussy and began tracing it through the fabric.

Kim moaned now, audible over the sounds of techno coming from the stereo on the dresser. She lifted her bottom slightly, pushing into the hand touching her most sensitive place. Sheila rubbed a little harder, her middle finger pushing the panties between the now noticeably wet lips of Kim’s rapidly heating and throbbing pussy.

Sheila continued playing with Kim below her waist while she pressed herself against her upper body. Their breasts met as Sheila leaned to place a soft kiss on Kim’s lips. She smelled wonderful, a mixture of light perfume, soap and Kim’s natural, now slightly heated scent. The kiss awoke Kim—her eyes fluttering open to focus on Sheila. In a few quick moments, she registered her presence, her desire, her daring touch. She opened her mouth to speak, but Sheila quiet her with a free finger, hanging it lightly against her lips. Kim was silent and breathed in, smiling slightly. The hand at her lips was the one Sheila had played upon herself in her dream and the scent was still there.

Kim’s lips parted. Her hand gently grasped Sheila’s wrist and held it as she kissed the tip of her middle digit and pulled it between her lips to taste. Sheila’s whole body burned and she actually felt her pussy getting wetter than it already was as Kim suckled her fingers in turn, slowly tonguing each one.

Kim’s gyrations against Sheila’s hand got stronger and more insistent, finally compelling the fingers to the waistband. Sheila brushed her tips beneath the elastic band until she felt the soft downy hair within. Her pulse quickened with this new level of exploration opened to her. She tickled and smoothed the hair as her fingers moved slowly lower, feeling the heat emanating from Kim growing. Suddenly, she was touching a pussy that was not her own, but still somewhat familiar in its aroused state—hot, wet and subtly pulsing to Kim’s heartbeat. It was like this for her, because of her touch, her want. Sheila found that fact so incredible. She’d felt and seen a few swollen cocks in her life, but men were easy to arouse. To do this for her lovely female friend was somehow special, almost magical.

Kim had stopped licking and sucking Sheila’s fingers when her pussy first felt the touch of her friend. She laid completely still, Sheila’s hand still at her lips, as Sheila tentatively began anew the caresses she’s given her through her underwear. The direct pleasure now was amazing, so gentle, so loving. Somewhere in her mind, as she shared stories of making love to women with her oldest friend, she might have dared a thought that they could share such an experience. That it was happening was something beyond her imaginings. She tugged Sheila’s wrist to get her attention, to pull her in closer. Sheila gazed at her, still rubbing her throbbing pussy and understood.