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It had been months since circumstances separated them. Now Christmas and Hanukkah were coming. This was the time when they learned about each other and committed their love to each other. She was Christian and he Jewish this only meant that they had more to learn about each other. That first year both holidays had come at the same time. So together they found the tree and cut it down. They decorated the tree and made love on a bearskin rug bathed in the trees light. They lit the candles and exchanged gifts each night as was his custom. They hung all the ornaments with pictures of family, children and grandchildren as was her custom. And they learned and fell in love with each other. On the seventh night of Hanukkah he gave her a gift he did not know if she would accept. As he knelt, he opened a box containing a ring and asked for her to accept his commitment. His heart worried that she would reject him, but she did not. Through tears and smiles she accepted his commitment and gave him hers. But a lot had changed since then.

Hanukkah is early in December this year so here he is Thanksgiving weekend cleaning the cabin and preparing it for their reunion. Until she joins him, he will sleep on the couch. He cannot bear to sleep in their four-poster bed without her. He looks at the couch and can still see the stains left from the first time they made love here.

He walks into the woods, his axe in his hand looking fallen trees to cut into logs for the fireplace. Last year she would have been waiting when he returned, with two cups of steaming Irish Coffee, topped with whipped cream. They would sit and slowly sip it enjoying each other's closeness. Today, there would be no such thing. He would light the fire, and sure he could make the coffee but she would not be there to share it with. An hour later he walked to the cabin and lit the fire. It would be warm inside when she got here, no if she got here. He loved her so and even if circumstances did not allow it he would continue to do so. But he knew that her life had changed and she could not do much of what she wished to do. And he understood.

He started to clean in the bedroom dusting the antique four-poster bed and then the night stand. Opening the drawers he saw some silk scarves a tube of KY jelly and a pair of nipple clamps. He changed the sheets and put a York peppermint patty on her pillow. He sniffed her pillow and thought he could still smell her perfume on it. He took out the freshly cleaned and fluffed comforter and laid it on the bed.

The bathroom was cleaned next. Scrubbing the shower where they first ventured into anal sex. Where he made her scream in pleasure. And most important where he shampooed her hair. He ran his long fingers in her long blonde hair. He enjoyed it as much if not more than she did. He looked at the door where the sauna was and wondered if she remembered

As he entered the sauna and saw the mildewed wood he knew he would have to replace. He remembered the hot sweaty massage he had given her here and how that heated them up for what happened after the shower. They had never had any guests here this was their place. For them and them alone. He would not sell it nor give it to anyone it would rot here without their love in it. As he scrubbed the wood and serviced the boiler he hoped it would not all be for naught. Then to the room that she had given him. It had changed now it was a workout room overlooking the valley below the grey carpeting remained but none of the other accouterments, of that which she had found distasteful. The wall had been torn out and a large glass door entered onto a deck where he had moved the hot tub onto.

The front porch and the swing needed painting and the windows needed washing. This he did to kill the time he must wait for her. He waited and hoped but for now that is all he can do.

He took a walk down the road to the barn, and looked up at the hayloft. He smiled and remembered. Then he went back inside to think about it.

As he sat looking at the fire, he realized that they were both friends and lovers. That is indeed a rare combination. He thought about it, and realized he'd rather give up the sex than give up his best friend.

He had been near the Trade Center on September 11, she had panicked when she could not reach him. But the phones were down. He tried to call her knowing she would worry. He was busy and she was busy. Work and family made it impossible for them to be together. I would be hard but the both needed each other. He hoped she would come. In the meantime he would go to town, stock the pantry and the refrigerator. In the kitchen that they had finally built.