Reunion

They stood, two solitary figures occupying the same 20 square feet. This moment was never supposed to happen. No one could envision this possibility. Yet her they were, their eyes fastened on each other as they both tried to read in the other's face something, anything, a clue, an emotion. But the two were so unfamiliar that those automatically broadcast signals were no longer received and interpreted. Words were impossible and inadvisable until these signals were successful.

If it had been a month earlier, a totally different set of behaviors would have come into play. He would have been running away from her. She, her head down, would've been dialing 911, expecting immediate attention. But this was now. They were together in the same place. His legs and her dialing fingers were still.

The silence was palpable. He could wait no longer - it was always that way between them. He opened his mouth to speak but the words stuck in his throat, dwindling away. His feelings required release, and tears streaked from his eyes, down his face, the wetness spreading on his shirt. She wasn't much more in control than he was, and silent tears stained her face as well.

What could she say? How could she roll the clock back and take back the pain she had inflicted on him? "I'm sorry" was so inadequate to say. She would have resented it if he had said it to her. So she didn't even think of saying it to him. Not at a moment like this. So what could she say? What was appropriate? What expressed all the things she wanted to say? The forgiveness, the apology, the regret, the remorse. It would take a lifetime to say all these things. She wanted to take her time and make sure she told him right, so he would understand exactly what she felt. She wanted no doubts, no misunderstandings. For whatever reason, what had happened, had happened. You couldn't take it back you couldn't forget it - ever.

But now, in her heart, she had come to the conclusion that, even with all the discomfort and events of the past three years, there was no one who loved her like he did. He had tried to make things better, even if he had made all the wrong moves. Still she couldn't deny the sincerity of his attempt. But, here they were right now, standing face to face silently, words escaping their conversation.

But they were communicating on another level. They couldn't explain it, or even fully understand it. But they were speaking volumes. They knew each other so well. They were speaking a language of the heart. Unspoken words enfolding them in sorrow, in joy, in pain, in comfort. Long dead love broke through the hard, fallow ground their hearts had become. A spreading love crowding out the weeds that had grown there over the years.

In a few seconds it all melted away as his arms rose to welcome her inside his embrace, and inside his heart, although to him she had never left. It was what she had needed him to say. He had read her need correctly, even though she was herself unsure of what she needed. His gesture was exactly the statement she had craved. Instantly all doubt, all fear was gone. She felt again that warm, secure acceptance she had missed on their sojourn apart. It was back, but felt different, he was different.

They had both conquered fears and doubts that they had allowed to grow over the years until it suffocated them both. The long night was over. They both knew it. Still their signaling hearts were busy. Words would have been sacrilegious in comparison to the holy nature of this soul fusion. It was better. He held her, and for now, that was enough. There would be a time for words, but not now. They were not the same as they were.

The time that was now gone, was it wasted? No one could say. He held her so close. If he could, he would've held her so tight that she melded with him, until they were no longer two, but one. She would've offered no objection - she wanted the same thing. It would've matched her desire at that moment. For uncounted moments they were indistinguishable from each other and becoming even more so. They would have stayed this way forever. And maybe they would. This time.