Ridiculust Ch. 18

"They'll be joined at the hip later," snickered Arthur. Fortunately, he'd turned off his microphone at this point. Ellen gave him a Look that made him feel very cold all of a sudden. "I wish that you'd stop doing that!" he complained with a shiver as a small stampede, consisting of Pat's and Anna's parents, rushed past them to joyfully embrace their newly-engaged children.

"It looks like the show is finally over," said Fred as they watched the crowd dispersing.

"Well done, you three," said Bill's voice over Leslie's earbud. "Time to pack up."

"Not quite yet," Leslie replied into her microphone. "I'm going to be the first person to interview a goddess!" Debbie groaned from fatigue, but knowing that this was a once in a lifetime chance, detached her camera from its tripod and external battery pack and mounted it on her shoulder with a grunt. "It's only 10:30, but I feel like I need to go to bed now."

"With anyone in particular?" Fred heard Debbie ask with a snicker as they hustled away and he focused on bringing the drone back to land. It was good timing, as the battery indicator was in the yellow caution zone and getting too close to the red zone. He didn't hear the reply, which was probably just as well. Two minutes later it was on the ground, motors cooling, and he had opened the case and placed the controller into it. He looked up and saw that the raccoons had already left and the foxes were on the edge of the clearing looking back at him.

"Thanks for cooling things down for us," he said to them, not being able to tell them apart. "You helped to make it work. We owe you one, and maybe someday we'll be able to pay up." The one on the left gave a little yip and they turned and ran off with flicks of their tails. "They're a lot smarter than we give them credit for," he muttered as he carefully picked up the drone and put it back into its soft foam nest in the case, closed the lid, picked it up, turned, and began the trek to where he'd parked his car. It was a long drive back to Toronto, but he intended to try his luck with bed and breakfasts or motels along the way once he'd gotten to his car, thanks to the marvel of his phone.

"Oh-oh, here comes trouble," said Roger, spotting the incoming Leslie and Debbie threading their way through the departing crowd. "My goddess, these two are 'journalists' who will want to ask you some questions about yourself. Be careful, they're both smart."

"Everything you say will be seen and heard all around the world," said Sarah helpfully. "But no pressure, right?"

"Um, like," Aphrodite searched through her memory, "vacuum, right?" Roger started giggling, which sounded quite strange from him and was a good clue of just how tired he was.

"No, no! He's corrupted you already?" Jeannie demanded as the other men tried to hide grins behind their hands. Debbie just shook her head with a rueful smile.

"He is just so good at it." Joe gave her a look. "Don't worry, Joe. I'm all yours."

"Thank goodness for that," Roger replied. "I still love you dearly, but I have my life partner back, just as you and Sarah do. And I'm really happy for you both for that." His sincerity caught them off-guard and they looked at him somewhat fondly as Leslie and Debbie arrived at the stage and hustled around to the far side to get to the stairs. The Purple Chimps were in the process of putting away their stuff, with Pat standing to one side watching Sadie, Louisa, and his beloved Anna put her drum kit away in its various containers that he had brought up to them. When the journalists got to the stage, Leslie stood there watching them, trying to decide whether to talk to them or to Aphrodite.

"Hello there," said Ellen as she and Pat approached them. Debbie turned on her camera and its small spotlight and they blinked. "How can we help you?"

"I'm Leslie Frost of Toronto Action News. I want to be the first to congratulate you on the truly magical performance you all made tonight. The world now knows who the Purple Chimps are, and they like what they see. And that proposal of yours was a genuine delight!"

"Thank you very much, Leslie," he replied with a tired smile. "It was magic because we all worked together and played together for all the years before tonight. But we owe them," he indicated the wizards in the corner, "and especially Roger and Sarah for first making the world notice us."

"And it seems that you have a wizard among you," she added as Brian sidled by with his guitar case, trying to look inconspicuous. He would have kept on sidling, pretending not to hear, had Ellen not stopped him short with a hand firmly clamped on a shoulder.

"Um, yes we do," he said, thinking quickly. "We would not be nearly as good as we are without the technical wizardry of Ned, our sound engineer and unsung and overlooked hero!"

"The camera sees all, mister guitarist," said Debbie with an only slightly evil chuckle. Brian blushed a bit and looked as Anna strolled over and put an arm around Pat's waist.

"Who am I to stand in the way of true wuv?" he asked with a theatrical gesture at the couple, who were both glowing slightly. "And blessed by the Goddess of Love?" They turned to see said goddess striding majestically towards them in her white ankle-length gown, blue eyes bright and, Leslie noted, with intelligence and humour reflected in them. The other six were a few steps behind her, with Roger clearly doing his best to be last.

"Hello Leslie, and Debbie," she said in her warm contralto, giving them and their audience a dazzling smile. "I know that you're going to ask if I am the genuine Aphrodite, and indeed I am. I wouldn't be here tonight without the help of Roger and Jeannie," she indicated the couple, where Roger was having no more success at being inconspicuous than Brian had been, "and the very necessary assistance of John, Sarah, Joe, and Debbie." They all smiled and waved at the camera.

"I'll bet that you will be very popular with historians and linguists."

"You've got a good point," Aphrodite mused. Switching to her Ancient Greek, she said "If you can understand what I am saying, you might want to talk to me," which she repeated in English.

"How did you come to be able to speak English so quickly?" Leslie asked. All heads swiveled towards Roger, who rolled his eyes theatrically.

"I first encountered Aphrodite in a dream a few months ago," he said. "She was in the grove over there, and for whatever reason I appeared in the grove too. We were able to communicate mind to mind, since that seems to be one of the abilities of a Healer, and I was able to transfer some language knowledge to her through our link." He did not elaborate on just how this transfer occurred.

"The right place at the right time," Sarah murmured, "again."

"What are your plans for the future?" Leslie asked them with a smile.

"We need to convince the government that we are not dead and get our identities back," said John, "which will take a while. Getting Aphrodite set up is likely to be even more interesting," he added.

"But first, we need to get something to eat and to sleep for about a week," Joe added with a grin. "Handling all that magic is really tiring."

"And we'll have to start studying magic in detail, to see how it works," Debbie concluded, grabbing her husband and looking him in the eyes lovingly.

"We'll be sure to look you up later and see how you're doing," Leslie concluded. "It's been great talking to you and we wish you all well for the future." Debbie panned the camera to Aphrodite, who was giving Roger an unreadable look, and then she cut it off and switched off its light. They all looked around to see that the Purple Chimps had quietly and efficiently nearly finished packing their stuff into a van that had driven up behind the stage and were getting ready to go their separate ways. The stage lights dimmed now that the interviews were done and all those on the stage went down the stairs and onto the grass beside it.

"It was really good meeting you and working with you," said Ellen. "If you're ever in a city when we're doing a world tour, we'll make sure that you get backstage passes." They all laughed.

"I hope they give you some credit at Toronto Action News," said Roger to Leslie and Debbie as Debbie dismounted her camera with another grunt. "You're the only ones to have come check us out."

"Knowing our luck, we'll be following all of you guys around in some sort of demented reality TV show," said Debbie, shaking her head. "The New Magicians! Wednesday nights at 9:00!" They all shuddered.

"On that note, we should be going," said Pat, who seemed to be surgically attached to Anna, both of whom were glowing slightly. "Thanks for everything!"

"Just don't curse our names later when things get insane," Jeannie added dryly. They all laughed again and they all broke up to head to their respective homes, leaving Roger, Jeannie, Aphrodite, Leslie and Debbie standing around rather awkwardly for a few moments before they began walking to the park's entrance as a group.

"How many millions will we make from 'Purple Panty People'?" they heard Arthur ask loudly in the distance. The reply was inaudible, but judging by the laughter, probably obscene.

"What have I done?" Roger groaned. "At least they didn't play 'Oink Oink Oink'," he added. "I really don't want to be held responsible for a new genre of annoying songs. But hey, maybe it will finally make people forget 'Oompa Loompa Love'!" he added hopefully.

"Anything that can make us forget that would be welcome," snickered Debbie as the stage lights were finally turned off and they made it to where they'd left the other gear. There was no sign of Fred. Roger volunteered to wear the backpack with the extra battery and Jeannie collected the tripod.

"Thanks a lot," said Debbie. She was also tired and her shoulder was a bit sore from having the camera on it for so long.

"At least there was no wave of loving energy this time," said Jeannie, with some relief. "Now we just have to get home and get some sleep."

"I'm coming with you, of course," said Aphrodite firmly. "You brought me into this world, and I have a lot of catching up to do."

"Hmm, now there's a new reality show for you. The Goddess Learns the Ropes," mused Leslie.

"Only if she were to take a macramé class," Roger wisecracked before they could stop him. A small bolt of light shot from his left hand into a flowerbed and three of the ornamental vinca vines being used as ground cover suddenly arranged themselves in a long braid. They all jumped and he swore.

"That was very knotty of you," Aphrodite scolded him, eyes twinkling. Another bolt of light flew from her right hand into the flowerbed and three more vines got tied up.

"He's corrupted you already?" Jeannie demanded crossly, getting chuckles.

"Any reality show involving these three would require danger pay," sighed Debbie.

"What's a reality show?" Aphrodite asked as they walked through the gate to the street corner. It looked like most of the visitors had left, as there was hardly a soul in sight and everything was either closed or in the process of closing down as they walked to where the news SUV was parked.

"I'm glad that we ran into each other, Debbie," said Roger as all of the gear was loaded into the back of the vehicle. "Believe it or not, I would occasionally wonder what had become of you. And as for reality shows, that requires some time to explain."

"That's very sweet of you, Roger," she replied with a tired smile. "And before you ask," she added as he opened his mouth, "we managed to get a room at Julia's for the night, so we don't have to drive all the way back to Toronto tonight."

"The cute young thing at the desk said it was 'Roger's Room'. Would you know who the Roger is?" asked Leslie, not quite innocently, as they got into the vehicle, with Debbie driving.

"I have no idea," Roger lied, not fooling anyone. "Have a good night!" The engine started and they drove off. "Well, that leaves the three of us," he said, looking at the two women. "Jeannie, I believe that you know how to take us home?" She nodded, concentrated, and said,

"We should be baseball players and make home runs." A portal opened in front of them, illuminated at the edges by silver, gold, and white. Roger and Jeannie's modest two-story semi-detached home was visible through it.

"That looks like a nice place," said Aphrodite quietly. "You're OK with my staying with you?"

"Erk!" said Roger, once again caught in mid-sneak, this time by the goddess. "Yes, my goddess, you should. It'll be a long time before you're ready to live on your own."

As they walked through the portal onto the front lawn of the house, they each felt a like someone had given them a small push in the back towards the east-facing house and they stumbled and nearly fell. "What the Hades was that?"

"Crap, that was the Coriolis Effect," said Roger, searching his fatigue-fogged mind and having this pop up from memories of Larry Niven science fiction books he'd read in his younger days. "Places closer to the poles move at a slower rate than places closer to equator because they are closer to the Earth's axis," he continued as they recovered and moved towards the front door. "We jumped less than a degree of latitude, if I'm not mistaken, which isn't much, but enough to give us a bit of a boost."

"We will have to keep this quiet," Jeannie replied thoughtfully. "Terrorists would have a field day dropping heavy stuff through holes to destroy things and kill people."

"You're going to have to explain this to me tomorrow," the goddess said as they reached the door. "Sciency stuff wasn't included in dear Roger's knowledge dump." Roger reached into his left pants pocket for his keys, but discovered to his annoyance that they weren't there. "And who said I was going to live on my own? I get to make love to The Healer and The Sorceress whenever we want to. Who could ask for anything more? Speaking of which," she added, fixing Jeannie with a stare as Roger checked his other pocket, "remember when you promised that you'd eat me out when I got my body?" Roger's eyebrows elevated and he snickered at her discomfort. "I think we're all too tired to do anything tonight. But we have all day tomorrow." Jeannie traced a glowing right index finger across the top of Aphrodite's gown, circling both nipples that snapped to attention as sparks shot into them.

"Maybe, maybe not," she replied.

"Oh, dear," said Roger, pretending to ignore the play between them as Aphrodite did the same to Jeannie. "I left my backpack at Sarah's place. It has my keys and stuff in it." One look at them made him quickly say, "If this thing around my neck isn't a locket, it's an un-locket!" A sliver of light shot from his right forefinger with a snick and hit the lock, which opened with a clack. He turned the doorknob and hopped inside, quickly followed by the women who were glowing brightly in their colours as they were now working on zapping each other's crotches with sparks from probing fingers. He then closed and locked the door and wisely got out of the way as they hastened up the stairs that were a bit down the hallway and to the left en route to the bedroom.

"How am I going to get my pack back?" he mused, trying to think of a suitable pun. "Ah!" His expression brightened, as did his body as his colours flickered on. "If someone's birthday is on Boxing Day, do you wish them many happy returns?" There was a small flash and a bang as the pack appeared at his feet, making him jump back in surprise and fall heavily on the floor.

Back at Sarah and John's house, they had just managed to get through the front door, having been shamelessly wrapped up in each other all the way from the park. Since Debbie and Joe were in the same situation, nobody had minded. Sarah closed and locked it emphatically as they removed their shoes and left them in front of the closet door.

"What's that?" John asked, pointing at a shape slumped against the back door that was visible in the light from the foyer. Sarah looked and said,

"Oh, it's Roger's backpack. He never picked it up. We'll have to figure out how to get it to him." There was a sudden flash of yellow, turquoise, and forest green light and a loud pop, and when their eyes had readjusted to the light, the pack was gone.

"That's one less thing to worry about," John smiled. "Which first, food or fucking?"

"I'm worried about the state of your pants, mister," Sarah replied, squeezing the glowing bulge that was being unfairly restrained by them. "I think we'd better go upstairs and save them from getting ripped by this thing."

"I'm worried that your panties will be all wet and cause chafing in a sensitive spot," he replied, groping her hot snatch. "We should get them off so that they can dry." In what seemed to be no time at all, they were up in the bedroom, removing each other's clothes with plenty of groping and kissing and then falling on the bed holding onto each other, lying side by side.

"I've missed the quiet intimacy of your kisses," Sarah said softly as John gently wiped away her tears. "Just to hold you in my arms and know that you're here, loving me. Debbie and I did what we could to fill the holes in our spirits, but I never stopped missing or loving you."

"I spent all this time wandering around, watching you and unable to reach you or comfort you," he replied sadly. "It hurt me so much to see you so sad. It was so frustrating!"

"Just don't die on me again! I couldn't stand it!"

"Don't you die on me!" he replied, rolling on top of her and sinking his cock into her in one thrust. "Wow, you are hot!" They spent a minute gently kissing away each other's tears.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Sarah asked with a smile.

"Hmm, I'm here loving my wife and kissing away her tears," he said innocently. She concentrated and sent a small surge of power from her pussy into his hot, hard cock and bucked twice. She giggled at his cross-eyed expression as his brain nearly shorted out. "Oh, right," he said, pretending to remember. He concentrated and sent a small surge of power from his cock into her pussy and especially her swollen, sensitive clitoris while giving two hard thrusts. It was her turn to nearly short out.

"This adds an entirely new dimension to lovemaking," she growled, bucking hard. Then both of them were pounding and bucking frantically and sending energy back and forth until they could take it no more. She came with a shriek and clamped down hard and his squirts of cum splashed off her cervix as he groaned loudly, and enough energy sloshed between them to make their hair stand on end. Some shot out of the room in a ring of weak multicolored light. John collapsed and fell off of her and they lay there for a few minutes, unable to do anything except bask in the afterglow. Eventually she had to get up to scoot to the bathroom before too much leaked out. When she got back, John was staring at the ceiling, eyes unfocused. She got into bed, got the covers over them and snuggled up. "Are you glad to be back?" she whispered.

"Yes. Yes, I am," he murmured back, and they both fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

"Sarah and John seem to have finished," Joe murmured when he and Debbie saw the weak flash of light pulse through their bedroom. They had finished their lovemaking a few minutes ago and were cuddled together, their bed a boat on the river that was rapidly drifting to Dreamland.

"The Warrior makes another conquest," she replied as her eyelids slowly covered her bright blue eyes. "I'm so glad that we're all back together."

"Thank you, Roger, wherever you are," he said as the boat coasted to port at its destination and they slept.

Roger stood at the foot of the stairs, holding his backpack and looking up. He could see brightly shifting patterns of light coming from the front bedroom and could hear grunts, groans, smacks, and squeaking bedsprings as his wife and his goddess went at it.