Right in Front of You

"It's your call Ms. Carver, but I think it would be very foolish not do take one one out."

She told him she would even though she wasn't sure then asked if he knew when the trial would be.

"No, but you could check with the clerk of the court. Since he pleaded 'not guilty' there will be a trial. I'm sure my partner and I will be called to testify, and it's a guarantee you will be, too."

"What would happen if I didn't?" she asked.

"There's a good chance he'd go free, unless the young man down the hall is willing to show up. We were heading there next."

Melanie thanked them for their time then told them she was running late and had to go.

The thought of having to sit in court and stare Landry in the face while accusing him of assault and battery sent a chill through her. But the thought of what he might have done had Gregg or the neighbor with the gun not stepped in and stopped him frightened her even more.

The next day around noon she knocked on Gregg's door again and asked him if he'd go with her to take out the restraining order and check on the trial date.

"Of course. Just let me know when," he told her without hesitation.

"Is now a good time?" she asked, her eyebrows raised high.

"Sure. Let me just let my mom know where I'll be."

The courthouse was only four blocks away and the weather was nice so they walked rather than have to deal with parking at the courthouse. The clerk told Melanie when the trial was set for, and let her know there were several attorneys within walking distance who could draft what was properly called a 'protective order'. The bad news was there was $150 filing fee to do so.

As they walked out, Melanie said, "I don't have that kind of money."

"Then I'll pay for it and you can pay me back," Gregg said.

"No, I can't let you do that," she insisted.

"I can't let you not do that," he told her in no uncertain terms.

"It may take me a few paydays to pay you back," she warned him.

"That's fine. As long as you're safe, the money doesn't matter."

Gregg put the charge on his credit card which was nearing its limit, but he didn't think twice about it because it was the right thing to do.

As they walked home, they passed the same carpeting store they'd walked by on the way there.

"Let's go take a look around," Gregg suggested as he pointed to the store.

"I'd love to, but there's no chance of that happening," Melanie told him.

"It'll only take a few minutes," Gregg promised.

"Well, lookin's still free, right?" she said with a smile.

A sales person offered to help, but Gregg said, "No thanks. We're just doing some preliminary looking."

Within five minutes he knew what Melanie liked in terms of color and type of carpeting. She gravitated toward the most expensive samples in the store, but also said she didn't want anything fancy and pointed out several other options that were very reasonably priced. She was also aware the padding and installation were extra, more reasons why this wasn't happening anytime soon even if Gregg did the work.

By the time they got back to their condominium complex, Melanie realized she'd had a very nice time just walking and talking with Gregg, and when they got to her door she told him so.

"First, let me thank you so, so much for the restraining...protective order, Gregg."

He smiled shyly and looked down but didn't say anything.

"And I just wanted to tell you how enjoyable it was talking with you."

"Same here," he told her as he looked back up at her.

"You are such a nice guy," she said sincerely not aware that being a 'nice guy' was the kiss of death for any guy interested in a woman.

"You know what they say about 'nice guy's," he replied with a wry smile.

"What?" she asked.

"Nice guys. They...finish last," he told her making sure not to let his disappointment show through.

"Gregg. Wait. I did not mean it like that," she said once she realized how her remark came across.

"No. It's fine," he told her. "I was just, you know, being a wiseacre."

"Well, I feel terrible now," she told him.

"Don't. Like I said to the police officer, I know when someone's out of my league."

His smile was bright and cheerful, but it was masking the feelings—growing feelings—he had for her. There was no reason to say it, but he didn't care that she was older or even that she'd barely finished high school.

There was just something about her he couldn't let go of, and although it was definitely related to her being a very attractive woman, it was something deeper; a kind of...diamond in the rough thing. Gregg could see potential where even Melanie couldn't. But she really was out of his league, and he also knew he wasn't her type.

"That didn't help," she told him.

"No. Sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I was just acknowledging what we both know."

Melanie wanted to ask what he meant by that, but she knew the answer and knew he did, too.

"Well, I still had a very nice time," she told him again.

She went to lean over and kiss him on the cheek again, but he pulled away and said, "I'll uh, I'll see you around, okay?"

"Oh. Right. Sure," she replied now certain she'd hurt his feelings, and that stirred up feelings of her own. Feelings based on the things his mom had said; things she was becoming acutely aware of even if she wasn't ready to deal with them just yet.

Gregg then raised his eyebrows slightly, feigned a smile then said, "Take care now."

"You too, Gregg," she said.

For the first time in her life, she felt terrible about someone else's feelings where that person had feelings for her.

She went inside and this time the carpet served as the metaphor for her life.

"One bad choice after the other has worn a deep hole in your soul, girl," she told herself before getting ready to go to work.

Early the next morning, Gregg went back to the carpet store, and found the same clerk.

"This Icedance Berber loop you've got on sale. What's the best deal you could give me on 180 square feet?"

"With padding and installation we could..."

"No installation. Carpet, padding, and delivery."

"How far away are we talkin'?" the man his age asked.

Gregg knew Melanie's small living room was the same size as his mother's unit which was 12 x 15.

After some real haggling, he got the price down to $250 total, and even though he really couldn't afford to spend any more money, he ordered it on the spot to be delivered at noon the following day. Gregg knew Melanie wasn't a morning person and didn't want to have to deal with that on top of her reaction. It was paid for and couldn't be returned, so it was going in her condo—reaction or not.

He thought about warning her, but decided to risk it, and at noon, he saw the truck pull up and went out into the hallway to wait.

Melanie heard the ruckus and opened her door and said, "What in the world is going on?"

"The carpet fairy is here," he told her.

The very large man carrying the carpet gave him a look and Gregg said, "Uh, sorry, man. That was a joke."

"What are you talking about?" she said.

"This is the color you said you liked and it's berber, so..."

The man was getting impatient waiting for someone to move.

"You might want to step aside," Gregg said.

"This is heavy!" the man said as sweat poured off his brow.

Melanie stepped aside and Gregg said, "Just set it off to the side."

"Gregg Wilkens? What are you doing?" Melanie asked.

"Hey, look at you! You remembered both of my names!" he teased as he walked by and made sure the new carpet was out of the way so he could start ripping out the old.

"Sign here, fairy guy," the big man said to Gregg once everything was in place.

Gregg scribbled his name then apologized again about the 'fairy' comment. The man just shook his head and walked off.

"Okay. I won't be all that long," Gregg told her with very big smile. "Tearing out the old is easy, and the room is small enough that putting in the new won't take too long, either."

Melanie had followed him inside and she was looking at the new carpeting while he spoke. When he finished, she turned toward him, and Gregg saw tears in her eyes.

"Whoa! Did I get the wrong color? Because you specifically said you liked this light, 'Icedance' shade."

"Why are you doing this?" she asked as a first tear fell.

"Because your rug looks like...hell," he said in his deadpan way. "And because I got this for a song."

"I...I didn't ask you to do this, Gregg," Melanie said.

"Sorry. I can't take it back so you either let me install it or it goes in the dumpster out back. And I'm not sure you and I can carry it by ourselves."

More tears fell, and Gregg asked quietly, "Are you really upset with me?"

She was trying to dab her eyes with her shirtsleeve as she said, "I should be. I want to be. But...but I can't. I can't be mad at you."

Gregg smiled and clapped his hands then looked around and said, "All right. You can either find a seat and watch or go do something for a couple of hours. You just can't stand there."

Melanie's head was down, and she raised it slightly then raised an eyebrow.

"Like I'm gonna just sit and watch you," she said. "Let me wash my face then you can tell me what I can do to help."

Gregg was already tearing up the old stuff when she came back out, and Melanie was smiling.

"Hey, look at you all happy!" he said. "You ready to go to work?"

Within seconds Gregg had her laughing as he ripped up a big piece with a hole in it. He held it over his face like a ragged picture frame then said, "You got a camera?"

It was corny and silly as was most of the other things he said, but Melanie found herself laughing the entire time. She mostly just took the pieces he removed and rolled them up or put them in a pile, but all that mattered was being in the moment and having a nice time.

They were laying down the padding when, after stretching out, they ended up side-by-side on their knees.

"Hello there!" Melanie said when she realized how close they were.

Their bodies were touching, and when she turned toward him their faces were less than eight inches apart. She'd been smiling, but as their eyes met, she was more than a little surprised at the way his looking at her made her feel. She wanted to look away but couldn't, and when he leaned over and softly kissed her, she was even more surprised.

But the biggest surprise was when she didn't flinch or pull away. She not only let him kiss her, she closed her eyes and kissed him back. Two seconds later, it was over, and she was too stunned to talk.

"Okay. Now we need to lay the carpeting on top then I'll get started tacking it down," Gregg said as though nothing had just happened.

As they worked, Melanie's confusion grew. Gregg was no better looking than he'd been before they started, but she could no longer see him the way she'd always seen him since that first time they'd met when he nearly ran into her. The entire thing was beyond her ability to understand with her head, but when she tried 'listening' with her heart, the pieces of the puzzle seemed to start coming together.

By the time she needed to get ready to go to work, the new carpet was in, and all that remained was to haul all the old stuff outside to the dumpster.

"No. You go ahead and take a shower and get ready," Gregg insisted when she apologized for having to quit.

Melanie wanted to say something, but for the life of her, she couldn't think of a single thing to say other than, "Okay. Thank you."

The way Gregg smiled at her when she did caused her brain ever more problems, and she was thankful to have a reason to leave the room.

When she came back some 45 minutes later, most of the old junk was gone, and Gregg was nowhere to be found.

Moments later he walked in smiled, then stopped and said, "Wow. You look really nice."

"In...this?" she asked referring to the black and white uniform she was wearing.

"No...you," he said quietly. "You look...beautiful."

He didn't stare at her. He only glanced a couple of times then said, "I'll just cut this one, last big piece into two and that'll be it."

He went to do just that when Melanie said, "Gregg?"

He stopped and said, "Yes?"

"Can...can we talk? You know, about...what happened."

"I'm not sure what there is to say," he told her without looking at her. "It's pretty obvious I like you, so if you're expecting me to apologize for kissing you, I can..."

"Greg? Would you please get serious for two seconds?"

"No, because if I do, you're going to tell me to get lost," he said as he started cutting.

"I'm not," she said.

He stopped, looked over his shoulder, and said, "You're not?"

Melanie sat down on the beautiful new carpet and said, "No. I'm not gonna say that."

He turned around and faced her as he also sat.

"Then what are you going to say?"

"First, I'm going to thank you for doing this. It's beautiful, Gregg. It truly is."

"But?"

"There's no...but. There's just this."

She looked right at him then said, "I am not the kind of girl a guy like you gets involved with."

"Why, because you're older than me?" he asked with a smile.

"Greg! Stop!" she said the way a teenaged girl would.

"Then what is it? What is there about you that makes you not be the kind of girl I want to get involved with?" he said as he scooted closer.

"Um, well, only...everything?" she said trying not to smile.

He put the boxcutter he'd been using down then said, "Melanie, there's nothing about you I don't like."

Feeling exasperated, she said, "You know the kind of guys I like. Guys like L..."

"Bluto?" Gregg said with a smile.

Melanie had to cover her mouth as she laughed.

"That's not funny!" she said before realizing it was.

"Okay, maybe it's a little bit funny," she said, her smile now much sweeter.

"But you know what I mean. Please tell me you understand that," she said, her eyes imploringly looking at him.

"People change, Melanie."

"I don't know, Gregg," she said as she looked down at the beautiful, new carpet. "I think I may be the exception to the rule."

He slid even closer then, summoning all the courage he had, he reached for her hand.

She looked at it then looked at him then back at his hand before finally letting him take it.

"I heard most of what you and my mom talked about," he began. "I know you're looking for someone to love who'll love you back and who'll never say or do anything to cause you to wonder if he really does. Guys like Bl...Landry...can't. They can't because they have trust issues themselves. They put on this phony, macho front to mask their fears. Their fears of letting themselves fall in love; to let someone else love them and care for them who'll end up leaving. That's their way of protecting themselves from getting hurt."

"And why do I do what I do?" she asked, her eyes filled with hurt and need.

"It's the same thing. You know deep down that your bad boys will never be able to love you the way you want to be loved; the way you need to be loved. So you've willingly traded love for excitement, and although I've never done it myself, the reason why is obvious."

"It is?" she asked very quietly.

"Uh-huh. It's a rush. It's like a powerful drug you shoot into your veins. When the rush hits, it's pure euphoria. It's the highest high you can experience short of an actual needle."

"That's true," she said, still unable to look at him as he continued to hold her hand.

"But then the drug wears off, and you crash. You crash when he hits you or shoves you around or says things that make you feel small. But you need your next fix so you tell yourself that's just how bad boys are. And if you can make him forgive you—for things that aren't your fault—then maybe, just maybe—you can experience that rush again. But it's never the same after that first high, is it?"

His voice was gentle and calm, and Melanie felt every word hit home like he was swinging an emotional hammer.

"No. It's never the same," she admitted. "And yet I keep trying. I keep telling myself the next time it'll somehow...be better."

"And yet it never is, is it?"

She shook her head and as his words sank in, she felt tears welling up in her eyes again.

"How do I stop wanting that?" she asked.

Gregg saw the first teardrop fall, and all he wanted to do was move over and put his arm around her. Instead, he tried humor.

"I couldn't afford the Scotchgard so...be careful there, okay?"

She raised her head, cocked it slightly then couldn't help smiling.

"How do you do that?" she asked mostly rhetorically but also truly wanting to know.

He decided to go for it and slid over next to her. He was dirty or he would have put his arm around her. Because he was, he settled for sitting very close.

"Because I'm not...heroin. That's Landry. That's every other guy you've dated or fallen for. I'm not capable of providing that kind of rush, Melanie."

"Then...then what are you, Greg? How do you make me feel like this?" she asked as she glanced his way for the briefest of moments.

"Well, I'd say I'm more like...fine wine."

"Fine wine?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'm someone who gets better with age. You know, the more time you spend around me, the more...appealing I become."

Melanie cut her eyes his way again and smiled.

"Like that," he said, causing her to almost laugh. "I can get you very pleasantly buzzed, but I'll never get you high."

He reached over and took her hand again without asking then said, "But you'll never come back down after..."

"After what?" she asked, her mascara a streaky mess.

"I was gonna say 'after drinking me' but that sounded pretty bad, so I..."

Melanie made a spurting noise then started laughing as she said, "Yes. That was bad. Funny—but still bad."

Gregg got serious then said, "What I'm trying to say is I know I'm not...hot. Nor am I exactly exciting. I'm a dentist for heaven's sakes. But I am a really nice guy who'll never hurt you, Melanie. Not physically or emotionally. I'll never let you down, either. I'm not perfect, but when I fall in love, it's gonna be for life."

She turned to look at him as he said, "So maybe you're not ready for a guy like me yet, let alone...me...but I can promise you that whenever you are, you'll find a steady, warm, lifelong love that may not be as exciting as a guy like Landry, but you'll never have to ever wonder whether or not you're truly loved. And by the way, that comes with a best friend for life."

As fast as he could he added, "No additional charge, but conditions may vary," as though he was ending a radio advertisement.

Melanie laughed again then got very serious.

"You have no idea how much I want that. And honestly? I've never met anyone like you before in my life, Gregg."

"Lucky you," he said, trying to be funny.

"Don't. Not now. Please? Just...just let me finish, okay?" she said causing him to stop smiling as he prepared himself for the other shoe that was about to drop.

"Okay," he said even more quietly.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and if you know me, you know I don't like to think. I like to...to feel. I like to enjoy life and live it fast."

Melanie paused for a second or two, then looked at Gregg and said, "And yet, after all these years, I'm more miserable and more alone than I've ever been."

He waited to make sure she was done then said, "I'm not sure I can fix the miserable part, but I can assure you you're not alone."

Neither of them spoke for well over a minute when Melanie finally said, "I'm scared, Gregg."

"Of?" he asked.

"Change?" she said in the form of a question. "Maybe I'm even afraid of bein' happy. There hasn't been much of that in my life, and if I finally had a little, it might be scary."

"Yeah, being happy is pretty awful," he said, back to his deadpan delivery.