Rising From The Ashes, A Postscript

This is a postscript, if you will, to "Rising From the Ashes" by Web_Spinner, available here . Although it's not necessary to read that story first, it does present the context for this one. You'll also need to read that story to understand the references to the trauma Katey suffered and to a CD.

*****

Steve was standing in front of the fireplace looking at a picture of James and Renee when she walked up behind him.

"What are you doing, honey?", she asked, softly touching his arm.

"I'm talking with James, dear."

*****

You may wonder why there was a picture of Renee, now my wife, and James, her first husband, situated in such a place of honor on my fireplace mantle. After my cheating slut of a wife, Rhonda, left me and abandoned our daughter, James and Renee unofficially adopted Katey and me, so to speak. Renee was my office manager and I held her in high personal regard, but James became my best friend while supporting us as we worked our way through the hell Rhonda had dumped on us. There is no way I could ever express how much we appreciated their kindness, friendship and caring through the ordeal. Unfortunately, James succumbed to complications from injuries received in a bicycling accident something over a year after Rhonda deserted us. This time, Katey and I were thrust into the position of consoling Renee and her daughter, Jeannie. During that time we drew closer together and, in fact, fell in love, eventually moving in together and getting married.

When 2 people who have families from previous marriages get together, one problem often encountered is how to deal with those past relationships in terms of talking about both the relationship and the former lovers, keeping and displaying pictures and mementos and so on. Consider that leftover bitter feelings and memories, old resentments and other real or perceived animosities can wreak havoc on even the strongest relationships.

Neither my daughter nor I was interested in displaying any pictures of Rhonda, though I hadn't gone crazy and destroyed them all, either. Katey may want some reminders of the positive aspects of her relationship with her birth mother at some point, so I'll let her handle them however she desires at an appropriate time. Right now I think she would just burn them all. I actually decided to keep a few for myself, though. After all, we did have some good times together and I have some favorable memories from our marriage, tainted as they may now be. Oh God how I wish I'd never seen that darned CD!

The situation with James is altogether different, however. He and Renee had the strongest, most loving relationship I have ever seen. There were, and are, nothing but the strongest heartfelt tender feelings for James and none of us ever wants to tarnish or lose our memories of him. I told Renee that I would never pressure her to discard anything that displayed her affection for him, his affection for her or her memories of him. Indeed, Katey thought of him as a favorite uncle and I loved him as a brother.

Renee and I discussed the whole situation at length and told the girls what we had decided - that only limited comments about good times with Rhonda were acceptable while there should never be any hesitation on anyone's part concerning talking about James in any context whatsoever. There is no way I could ever take his place in their lives and hearts and I would never try to do so. Renee will always love James, even as she loves me. There is no reason to ever expect, or even desire, that to change. Renee and I getting married meant that she, Jeannie and even James became part of Katey's and my family, while Katey and I became part of theirs. James would always be a part of this single, newly extended family. The picture on the mantle was our way of openly honoring his memory. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

*****

"How do you feel?", she asked.

I didn't look at her right away but knew there were tears coursing down her cheeks. I had shed more than a few of my own while standing at the fireplace that evening.

"I feel more than a little melancholy about James being gone but I'm so darn content that I don't know how to even begin to describe my happiness at being together with you."

Renee put her arms around me from behind and hugged me hard to her. I could feel the back of my shirt soaking through.

If it hadn't been for the trauma she'd inflicted on Katey I could have thanked Rhonda for making this moment possible.

"I told him how much I love you and Jeannie. He said he knows.

"I told him we'll always remember him with great affection and love. He said he knows and appreciates that.

"I told him I'd always take care of his girls and never intentionally hurt them. He said he knows but not to forget Katey in that pledge.

"I told him he'd always be a part of our family. He said 'Thank You'.

"He told me he loves you and that you should never forget him, but that you need to live your new life without regrets and without worrying about what he would think. Then he said he'll see you again, he'll see all of us again, when it was time."

I turned to face Renee, took her in my arms and hugged her for all I was worth. I thought to myself that I never knew I could love someone so much. I heard James say "I know how you feel, my friend. I know exactly how you feel!"