Rock and Water Ch. 05

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Insecurities and tempers challenge the new relationship.
11.5k words
4.85
40.7k
47

Part 5 of the 10 part series

Updated 10/17/2022
Created 11/14/2013
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My apologies for the long delay between chapters!! This one was a struggle for me, as I felt it was time to show some cracks in the new relationship. I truly hope you like it and as always, I love your support and comments! Once again I can't express enough gratitude to FA_JF for her keen eye and kind words.

***

I spend my Sunday at the paint store, looking at swatches until my eyes become blurry. It's hard to focus when my body keeps reminding me of my time with Patrick last night. My shoulders are tight, but the biggest distraction is an ache from my pussy, partially from being a bit bruised by our aggressive fucking, and partially due to an insufferable longing to be filled by him again.

After spending most of their Sunday at the science museum, Patrick took Luka for pizza and video games. While Luka is distracted by a video game, Patrick uses the opportunity to call me. He whispers in to the phone other ideas he has for the rope, some of which make me question his sanity and my dexterity. I make a mental note to include more stretching in to my workouts.

We make a plan to get together on Tuesday evening after he's done with work. He wants to come to my place again so we can talk a little more about the cabinets for the kitchen. I'm a little worried about the boundaries between work and play, but keep my concerns to myself. He has plans tonight to have dinner and watch a game with some friends, so we say our goodbyes until we see each other tomorrow morning at the gym.

***

When I arrive at the gym the next morning, I don't readily see Patrick so I get started with my warm up. When I'm done, I walk over to the weights and see him on his back doing bench presses. The same female personal trainer from the other day is standing next to the bench chatting at him with a big smile on her face. I stop to look at her more closely, feeling some insecurity trickle in as I look at her young, tight body and sun-streaked blonde hair. She appears to be in her mid-twenties. She looks up at me with recognition and her smile drops, then as if deciding I was of no consequence, turns back to Patrick and squats down to whisper something in his ears. Whatever she said causes him to stop his presses, sit up and laugh.

My heart flutters a little. Part of me wants to walk right over, introduce myself with feigned confidence, pretending that they've never fucked; which at this point I'm relatively confident they have. Instead, I find myself turning around and walking to the cardio room. I feel like a coward. For all of my confidence about being an independent, professional woman, I know I'm acting childish; but, after seeing online how many men my age preferred younger woman, it's hard not to take it to heart.

Twenty minutes after I start on the elliptical machine, Patrick walks in and sees me. Cocking his head with a slightly confused look, he walks over and remarks that I've broken my routine of using weights before cardio. I blurt out the first excuse I can. "I'm, um, feeling a bit stiff today and thought it best to get my blood flowing a bit before I did any lifting."

He looks concerned. "Perhaps a massage tomorrow night might work out some of those kinks." His look of concern is quickly replaced with a more devious smile as he adds, "...and once those are out we'll add a few more."

I flush, but inwardly, I'm feeling badly about not being honest with him. I pause the machine and reply, "That sounds wonderful. How about if we barter the massage for a meal? Is there anything you don't like or are sensitive too?"

"I like it all! Meat, veggies, dairy, gluten.... It's all good."

"Wow, you're a rarity in this town!" I laugh. Having a dinner party anymore for my friends has turned in to a recipe for creative cooking with all the limitations usually placed on my menu.

I'm just about to restart the elliptical when he leans in closely, his eyes shining. "Tomorrow night when I arrive, be wearing a short sundress. Nothing else." With those words, he gives me a peck on the cheek and a quick slap to my ass which causes me to look around in a panic until I realize the only others in here at the moment are two runners on treadmills facing in the other direction, oblivious with their ear buds in. As he did the other day, he picks the treadmill directly in front of me and starts his run, leaving me to stare at his hard body for the next twenty minutes.

Once I'm done with my cardio, I go back to the weight room to finish my workout. I'm still bothered that I'd been too insecure to approach Patrick and the trainer earlier, and wonder if my imagination is getting the best of me. Unfortunately those feelings are only bolstered when I see her behind me through the mirror's reflection, glaring at me as I do my lunges. She has sadness in her eyes, a frown on her lips, and an expression I just can't read. At this point I know I'm not imagining anything, but I just don't know what to do about it. Feeling uncomfortable, I gather my belongings and leave the gym.

I spend the day pouring over, and eventually checking out home remodeling books from the library. I pretty much know what I'm looking for as far as counters, sink, and backsplash go, but I'm still uncertain about the cabinets and the floors. Throughout the day, the events of this morning in the gym continue to resonate in my mind as much as I've tried to push them out. Still feeling uneasy that evening, I decide to text him goodnight instead of calling as we usually do.

Despite my text, as soon as I lay down my phone rings and it's him. "Hey beautiful, what happened to you at the gym today? You left without saying goodbye."

I know I should tell him what's on my mind, but all I can get out is, "I, uh....wasn't feeling well." Again I can't seem to admit the truth, and guilt begins to swell inside of me.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

"I'm fine...just tired." I bite my lower lip to keep from saying more.

"Ok, I won't keep you then. Get a good night's sleep... I plan to keep you up late tomorrow night."

For the first time all evening I smile and relax a little. Maybe I can entice him into a little phone fun. "Mmmmm.... Can I get a little sample tonight?"

He laughs. "Aren't you the horny little one? The answer is no. You need your rest. Go to sleep. No toys, no fingers.... Just sleep."

I blush, because that's just where my mind was going. I tease, "Fine... I'll go to sleep all naked and alone in this big empty bed."

Patrick lets out a little growl. "Don't you worry sweetheart; we're going to put that bed to good use tomorrow night...." He's quiet for a moment, then adds, "don't push yourself too hard at the gym tomorrow."

What sounds like a simple request appears loaded with intention. I can't help myself but ask, "why not, Patrick?" My voice almost a whisper.

His only response is, "It's time for your first spanking."

Those words alone reach deep in to the recesses of my psyche and a myriad of feelings explode within me; primarily lust, but also fear and anxiety. Overriding the last two though, I also feel cherished. He knows this is what I crave from him, what I need. Every venture into my submission to Patrick has been so carefully weighed by him. He's pushed me and challenged me at every turn, but never more than I could reasonably accomplish. The only time I'd ever considered safe wording was when my emotions felt too raw and exposed. If he feels I'm ready for this, then I trust him with all of my heart. I also know that by accepting whatever he gives me, I'm giving back to him so much more.

He'd previously mentioned that spanking was not necessarily punishment, and I appreciate that my first will not be from any transgression on my part. I suspect that he has planned it that way too. What I experience tomorrow night will be purely from the pleasure we both derive from the experience, without any other events tainting it.

I realize I have not responded to him. "I'm sorry Patrick, I...uh, got lost in my thoughts. I promise to take it easy tomorrow."

"Good girl. If you can, take a long bath or sauna tomorrow. I want you all better before I lay you over my lap tomorrow night." He knows he's only adding flame to the fire that's beginning to ignite inside of me.

We say our goodnights, and as I lay in bed with my hands clenched at my sides to keep from touching myself, images of Patrick's strong hand coming down over my soft ass cheeks resonates in my head.

It's going to be a long night.

***

An early morning meeting with Pete on Tuesday to look over some materials keeps me from the gym until mid-day. I'm halfway done with my workout when once again I sense I'm being watched. Turning my head quickly I find the same young, blonde trainer openly glaring at me. She's talking to another female gym member her age who is also looking straight at me. The trainer smirks before turning to the other woman and resuming their conversation.

Now I just feel pissed off. Whether she and Patrick had a fling or not, I don't deserve to feel intimidated at my own gym. Unfortunately, another thought creeps through my mind. What if they had more than a one-night stand? What if Patrick downplayed what happened between them and I'm in the middle of some break up which may only be temporary. I know my mind may be getting carried away, but all of my fears that things are be too good to be true with Patrick start to cascade in my brain and just like yesterday, I leave the gym before completing my workout.

I meet Johanna for a late lunch and fill her in on all the juicy details. My anger and frustration from earlier ebb as I'm reminded how incredible my time with Patrick has been so far. She's definitely into hearing about the rope and my public venture wearing the harness under my shirt. I don't discuss my concerns about the trainer at the gym. Once again, I wonder if I'm blowing it out of proportion. I stop at the farmer's market on the way home picking up some ingredients for a salad, some fresh wild caught pacific salmon, and a loaf of bread.

Patrick and Guinness show up around 7:15, just as I'm about to put the fish on the grill. Before the door has barely closed, he's lifting my dress to see if I'm bare underneath, which I am. He smiles. My compliance, whether large or small, seems to please him equally. Putting down his bags, he pulls me in to a long, warm kiss while his hands gently caress my hips and ass. My arms drape over his shoulders, and I go on tiptoes to intensify the kiss. His response is to crush his lips on mine as our tongues begin to dance in a way that sends sparks down my spine.

We pull apart, and the impassioned look burning in his ice-blue eyes erases any anxiety or insecurity that I've been feeling.

"How are you feeling today" He asks. "All better?'

I hate that my dishonesty has carried on to this evening. Taking a deep shaky breath, I resolve to admit my petty jealousy. I pull myself away to stand back a little. His comforting hold is the last thing I deserve while I admit that I've lied for the past two days. "I'm fine. I just...I haven't been altogether honest with you. Yesterday when I got to the gym I had planned on lifting some weights. When I walked over to get started, I saw you...at the bench, um, talking to the trainer."

He looks momentarily confused as he tries to recall that morning. "Do you mean Kym?'

I can't quite meet his eyes. For some reason, hearing her name makes it feel even more real. "I guess so. I don't know her name."

He's silent for a moment and I look back up at him. He still has a baffled look on his face. "I don't understand. Why didn't you come over?"

My face flushes a little as I answer. "Well, it just looked like you two were having a private conversation, or sharing some kind of joke. It just seemed like a bad idea to interrupt, and she's...." I can't finish my words.

"She's what?" He asks, his demeanor looking more serious.

"She's just so young....and fit...and pretty, and all I could think of...." I cut myself off as I feel myself getting tense and defensive.

He waits for me to finish, his face unreadable.

"All I could think of was that the two of you fucked. You did, didn't you? During your whoring days?" Without meaning to, my last words come out with a hint of anger and sarcasm. I know it's unfair but in the moment I just don't care. Images of the two of them fucking jumble in my head along with the looks of disregard and disdain she's launched at me over the past two days.

Patrick steps backwards as a wave of shock and hurt pass through his eyes. He looks as if he's about to speak, then closes his mouth, his lips forming a grim line. Walking past me to the couch, he sits down, resting his elbows above his knees and rubs his hands over his face a few times before resting his chin on his clenched hands.

His face expressionless, he takes a deep breath. The tension radiating from his is making me uneasy. "Come. Sit."

I feel my body tighten and stay where I am by the door. "We're not in the bedroom. I'm fine where I am." I'm not sure where my anger is coming from, but I'm realizing I've been holding it in for the past two days. "You can't just expect me to do your bidding all the time. I'm not going to be some kind of slave for you. It's not who I am, or who I'll ever be." I can't believe I'm saying these hurtful things to him, but I can't seem to stop myself. "Perhaps Kym would like to fill that role"

Before I know it he's on his feet with his fists clenched at his sides, but stays where he is. Eyes blazing, he spits out, "Goddamn it Corrine, what the FUCK is this about?" He pauses as he glares at me, his breath fast and shallow. "I'm not ordering you to do shit right now, let alone looking for some kind of slave. We've talked about that. I just want you to come over here, sit down, and tell me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON."

The anger in his eyes and in his words scares me frozen. I know he's right; he's never even used the word slave let alone ask for total obedience. It was unfair of me to throw that in his face, let alone bring up his "whoring days" which he'd shared with me at a time of full disclosure. I know this, but I'm too stunned by his reaction to say anything. I can feel tears budding in the corners of my eyes, my body trembling as I fear that I've crossed the line and fucked everything up.

At the sight of my panic, his demeanor immediately changes. Rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, he whispers, "Shit," then walks over to me, enveloping me in his arms. I initially stiffen before I let myself relax into his embrace. In as much as I know my accusations may have been unfounded, his quick anger has thrown me. This is a side of him I haven't seen before, but if I'm honest with myself, my insecurities and sarcasm are a first for him too.

"Please, Corrine... Please come to the couch and talk to me." I look up in to his eyes and see my own fear and panic mirrored in them. I quietly nod. He guides me over to the couch, sits himself down before pulling me onto his lap. Resting my head on his chest, we hold each other in silence and process what has just passed between us.

His words are now calm and carefully worded. "Corrine, I'm so sorry I snapped at you... I'm sorry for my anger, but I panicked. I'm not making an excuse, there is no excuse, but as soon as I realized you were holding back from me it just felt so....so familiar. Like how it was with Maureen. I just can't go there anymore. The only thing I've asked from you is total honesty. Could you start at the beginning and please help me to understand where all of this is coming from?"

Following his example, I resolve to be calm, open and honest about what's been happening at the gym, and why I've held it back from him. If he's disappointed with me in the end, so be it. "It wasn't just seeing the two of you talking, and laughing, the other day; it's been the way she's been looking at me ever since. Believe me, please, I know I'm not being paranoid. She genuinely seems to dislike me and the only reason I can think of is that there's still something going on between the two of you."

Again, he seems genuinely confused. Keeping his voice slow and even, he implores, "I don't understand how you could think that. I feel like I've been pretty straight forward with you about all of this. I'm not interested in fucking around. I don't date more than one person at a time." He pauses to make sure I'm looking straight into his eyes. "Most of all, I thought it was completely obvious how much I want you... How much I want us." The hurt in his eyes devastates me.

Relief and embarrassment course through me with a rush. "Oh, Patrick... I am so sorry for not talking to you right away about this. I just...I just felt so out of her league when I saw her with you. I can't understand why she's looking at me with such venom. Please tell me, is she the trainer you were...with?"

Without hesitation he admits, "Yes, she is, but that was months ago and it was one time. We're just friends." He shakes his head a little. "I'll tell you everything. I'd had a few personal training sessions with her, when one day she invited me out to hear her band play. We both got pretty drunk afterwards and were being pretty flirty with each other, but before we hooked up I was clear with her that I wasn't looking to date anyone. She said she was cool with that and felt the same."

I take this all in, but I still have a nagging feeling that there's more. "Has she asked you out again since then?"

Slowly, he nods. "In the weeks after we hooked up, she invited me a few more times to come watch her play, but I always said no. Honestly, I was concerned that she may have some feelings for me, so the last time she asked I gently remind her that I wasn't looking to date, and once again she said that was fine by her." He pauses as if remembering something. "I don't know.... She did offer that we could just, um... 'hook up' once in a while, but I told her it wasn't going to happen. Since then, she's been nothing but friendly with me."

I smile at his naivety and shake my head a little. "Take it from me... I don't think she's over you."

He gives me a big squeeze. "Ok, we'll figure this out. She seems like a pretty down to earth girl. Maybe if I introduce the two of you she'll back off. If not, we'll talk to the manager. I don't like the idea that she's making you uncomfortable."

I'm doubtful that meeting her will help in any way, and I'm not so sure of how "down to earth" she is, but I'm grateful to have everything out in the open. "I really feel like an ass. I'm so sorry for not being open with you. I'm sorry for bringing up your, um...promiscuous months after your divorce, especially when you were so honest with me about them. You're right though; both of our marriages struggled with poor communication, and I can't believe how quickly I was willing to let that happen again."

Patrick lifts and turns me so that I'm straddling his lap facing him. He gently cups my face with one hand, looking at me with such intensity my skin burns. "Please Corrine. If there's ever anything that is upsetting you, concerning you... or especially if it's hurting you...please let me know so we can fix it together. Just knowing you've been in distress about this for the past two days while I've been oblivious created chasm between us that had the potential to snowball. Your honesty tonight has fixed that, but this isn't something I want to risk happening again. Promise you'll talk to me next time."

Resting my head on his shoulders, I let out a deep and contented sigh. "I'll try my best. The past two days have sucked."

He chuckles, and gives my bottom a quick but stinging slap. "Damn straight you will. Next time I discover you're holding back from me will lead to punishment; spanking or otherwise."