Rocket Man

"What's the problem?" he asked. "I don't understand. You're not currently married, so it's not a sin of any type. You're obviously sexually active; you lost your husband because you had sex with other men a few times, right? So what's wrong with you having sex a few times to get him back?"

He really knew how to twist the knife. When he made it seem like fucking him would get me Jack, I couldn't turn him down. I was desperate. But at the same time, I felt weird. I learned to trust my feelings. After all the last time I had one of those weird feelings, was the night I fucked Brett and lost Jack. I knew that what I was contemplating was wrong.

"I may not be married ..." I said. " ... But you are. What is Ellie going to think about this?"

"Ellie will be fine with it," he said. "I'll have her call you. So next time we get together, we'll uhm get together, right?"

"I guess so," I said. "If Ellie is okay with it. You know it's only going to be sex right? I don't have any kind of feelings for you or anything. I only love Jack."

"I don't have any feelings for you either," he said. "I just want to fuck you. I've always wanted to try one of you tall, thin, blond cheerleader types."

"But you're a preacher," I said. "Aren't you supposed to be above things like that?"

"A preacher is still a man," he said. "We still have all the same desires and needs that other men have. The Catholics don't allow their priests to have sex and look what happens to those guys. They still get their sex in, but it happens in a lot of very weird, very bad ways. Look at all of those stories about abused kids. Don't you think it's better to let men act on their natural desires in a natural way?"

"I guess," I said. "But have Ellie call me just the same."

"Oh she'll call you and soon," he said. "But you're going to need to get as much vacation time as you can. We're going to be traveling soon. We're going on the road. I'm making arrangements to visit another small town church."

"What does that have to do with me?" I asked.

"The church we're going to speak at is in the town your husband lives in," he said. "He doesn't attend church services but from what I've been able to find out, he's very popular in the town. So if we do some sort of community event or charity thing, he'll be very likely to show up."

"Just because Jack shows up it doesn't mean that he'll talk to me," I said.

"Oh ye of little faith," he smirked. "For the past five years, you haven't even been able to find him. It took me five days. What makes you think that I don't have a plan?"

I thought about the things he told me for the next couple of days. When I say I thought about them, they never left my mind. Even while I was at work, I went over his words while seemingly listening to my clients. Most of my clients had simple problems often involving obtaining deeds for land or arranging new terms for loans with a local bank.

Often while a client was explaining things to me, Jethro's words took precedence in my mind. He was right or seemingly so about so many things. I was brought up Baptist, so clergymen who married and had families and children, made sense to me. Catholic priests had always seemed mysterious and more than human to me. But then so had nuns. It took a special type of person to put away all of or most of their normal human drives for their religion. And for everyone of them, who truly did it, there had to be one for whom it was difficult and one or two who failed at it.

Another thing he said that intrigued me was the fact that he really had or at least claimed he had found Jack in only five days. I would risk anything ... Do anything to get my husband back. So even though I was sure that Ellie wouldn't be calling me, I knew that I would fuck Jethro. I was sure that he would give me some sort of bullshit story about why Ellie hadn't called me. But it didn't matter. If there was even a chance of getting Jack back, I had to take it.

That same evening, about an hour after I got home, my phone rang. I answered it without even looking at the screen. I thought it was probably one of the women I worked with or my mom.

"Elizabeth, this is Ellie," she said. "It's okay for you to have sex with Jethro a few times. But just sex please. Don't do anything to ruin my marriage."

"Ellie, are you sure that you're okay with this?" I asked. "This isn't something I want to do. Jethro wants it not me."

"Don't worry Elizabeth," she said. "You know that men are all like little boys. They see something shiny, and they want it. Surely your husband had something stupid that he just had to have too? Whether or not it was good for him."

"Yes," I sighed. "Jack could never resist a Mustang. He had three of the God damned things when we divorced. I'm sure he has more than that by now. When we were in Michigan, it was especially stupid. You can't drive those cars in the winter. And Jack considered those cars his babies. So he didn't drive them when it rained or any time the weather wasn't perfect. That meant there were only five months of the year that he could drive them. So he drove each car for about six weeks out of the year. And most of that time he was at the launch facility in Florida. We wasted a lot of money shipping those fucking cars to wherever he was, just so he could drive them from the hotel to the launch facility and back."

"God what a waste," she laughed. "But it's good that you understand. We do a lot of things for the men we love. We make a lot of sacrifices for them, right?"

As I hung up the phone, I wondered if her sacrifice was worth it. Compared to what she was doing, my allowing my husband to collect his cars seemed like nothing. But as I thought about it, I was asking Jack to basically do what she had done. I was asking Jack to forgive me for having sex with another ... other men. I suddenly had hope.

If Ellie could get past this, surely enough time had passed for Jack to be able at least to talk to me about what I had done. Surely he had been alone long enough.

I got home the next evening to find Jethro waiting for me. He had a big smirk on his face. I hated that look. It reminded me of Brett, which in turn reminded me of what Brett had cost me.

As soon as we got inside of my condo, Jethro was on my sofa. He reached up and grabbed my breasts like he owned them. I stiffened at his touch. He looked at me.

"Don't you enjoy having your boobs touched?" he asked.

"I guess," I said. "Maybe it depends on who's touching them."

"Okay we can waste time on foreplay, if you want," he said. "But I was thinking that you wanted to get to the main event quickly."

"You mean sex?" I said.

"I meant talking about where we're going this weekend and my plan for getting you back with your husband," he said. "The sex was just to relax me, so I could think better."

In less than a second, my blouse was open. In less than two, my slacks were on the floor, and I was pulling my panties down. "How do you want me?" I asked.

Sex with Jethro was just as he had promised. There was no kissing. There was no emotional component involved. He just fucked me. He was neither brutal nor tender. He just fucked me until he came. We switched positions a couple of times, and he seemed to enjoy it, but it did nothing for me. I felt cheapened afterwards. I've been told that everyone has their price. Clearly, mine was information about Jack. I felt like a whore except that I didn't even get paid.

"Next time, I want you to do oral on me," he said matter of factly. It sounded as casual as if he had just asked me to out starch in his shirts the next time I washed them.

"Do you think you can be ready to fly to Arizona this Friday?" he asked.

"I nodded my head so quickly it looked as if it was going to fall off of my neck.

He started talking then about how he had managed to find Jack and where Jack was. We also talked about how I had to let go of the guilt that I had about what I had done. Jethro told me that if I felt guilty about it, Jack would treat me as if I had something to feel guilty about. I had to make my mind realize that sex was a normal human body function, and that I had the right to have sex with whomever I chose. If I chose to limit myself to only Jack, I had the right to do so. However, I also had the right to do whatever I needed to do to make myself feel fulfilled. Having sex with Jethro was supposed to help me to get rid of that guilt.

Jethro was sure that I would have Jack back within two weeks of us going to Arizona. The first week or so would be spent getting to know the town and its people. We needed them to like us. Then we would have a huge revival meeting where Jethro would preach his message of forgiveness. He would have gone all over town by them and found several people who didn't speak to each other and shame, cajole, coerce, and generally convince them to forgive each other. And then he would turn to Jack. With the crowd urging forgiveness, he would give Jack his full-court press.

It could work. Especially if the past five years apart had softened Jack's stance on me and what I had done. The whole situation reminded me of when we were kids, and Jack got angry at me. I would twist in the wind, crying my eyes out for a few days, and then he would just come over to play as if nothing had happened. I was always smart enough not to mention whatever we had argued over because a few days without Jack had always made me crazy.

This time it had been five years. Five fucking years of my life wasted. Five years of my life without Jack in it had been torture. There was nothing I wouldn't do to get him back. I would kick babies and steal from a church if I had to, but I needed Jack.

As I waited for the weekend to arrive and our trip to begin, I got more nervous and more excited as the day drew nearer. I had sex with Jethro a few times, but it didn't really register. I didn't enjoy it, nor did I hate it. I just went through it. It was as if my mind saw it as a fee or a tax that I had to pay to get Jack back.

I was so happy I was giddy. And as my sister had pointed out to me, I was very often, so wrapped up in myself that I failed to take notice of the things around me. Sometimes it's the little things that make all of the differences. And I missed one of the little things.

* * * * * *

Cassie

I was definitely going to have to increase my irrigation scheme. I was on my knees in the dirt checking the soil around the roots of a new hybrid species of tomato I was cultivating. The super hot Arizona sun beat down on me unmercifully. I reached over and grabbed the big floppy hat that I'd been ordered to wear. I looked towards the barn cum giant garage as I heard a wrench fall followed by a stream of curse words.

I laughed but at the same time I realized that I was happier now than I had ever been in my life. I was far happier than I had been as a Senator. I was far happier than I had been as a professor of agriculture too. Now I grew things and experimented with plants purely for the fun of it. I had no one to answer to except for myself. I didn't have to file paperwork or follow protocols and there was no pressure to publicize or capitalize on my work.

I enjoyed interacting with and helping the local farmers with their problems and working with the local universities too. I had all of the land that I could handle ... More than I could handle actually. And once more I had no one to answer to except myself ... Well and the guy in the garage of course.

And that was another matter completely. Jack Daniels, national hero, superstar astronaut, absolutely insane Mustang Junky, he actually talked to those cars. And he was mine all mine.

I thought that I knew what love was all about. After all, I had been married before I showed up on Jack's doorstep after trying to drink myself to death following my divorce. But what I felt for Jack was a completely different animal. I got weak in the knees every time I looked at him. Jack had given me as much land as I wanted to plant on, but somehow I seemed to stay around his garage.

I loved being close to him. And for once, I actually listened to someone besides myself. I had never blindly followed anyone. I hadn't followed my father's wishes when I was a girl. And although I tried to please my first husband, it was more a case where we discussed things and came to an agreement on issues that we faced. But around Jack, all of that went out the window.

The funny thing was that he was clearly just as smitten by me. I know that redheads aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I seemed to be Jack's. He made me feel so good about myself. I just didn't understand it. I was always proud of my body before. I weighed 90 to 95 pounds soaking wet. I ran and did yoga to stay in shape. However, once I passed thirty everything changed. My body just shifted. I gained weight partially due to depression over my divorce and partially because I was a middle-aged woman now.

I ballooned out to a hundred and twenty-five pounds. Most of it was in my boobs and my butt. I hated it at first. But then I noticed that Jack loved it. So I reveled in it. Jack also liked my hair long, and he loved my natural curls. So I stopped straightening it and let it grow. I also dressed like a country girl. I wore shorts and comfortable t-shirts and rubbed up against Jack a lot.

Jack was a real gentleman with me until he wasn't. Once I made it clear what I wanted from him, he delivered. And he had been delivering ever since. Just thinking about it got me wet enough to water my plants with the juices soaking my panties.

I got up and went over to the garage. I smiled again as I saw Jack's feet sticking out from under one of his cars. I walked over to the computer that controlled my irrigation system and changed the settings for the tomatoes.

"Commander what would you like for dinner? I'm going into town, shopping," I said to the feet sticking out of the car.

"You," he said.

"I was talking about what you wanted to eat, Dummy," I smiled. Jack was so different from that jackass I married. Jack would never throw me over for some barely twenty-year-old intern.

"So was I," he laughed. I had to squeeze my legs together at the thought of Jack eating my pussy.

"Oh we don't have to wait for dinner for that," I cooed. I had to leave. If Jack came out from under that car, we would be fucking for hours, and we both knew it.

Once I got to town, I wandered from shop to shop. I bought meats from one store, fish from another and canned goods from yet another store. I bought some vegetables and fruits that I didn't grow myself and was heading back to the car to drop off some of my bags when I bumped into a woman I had never seen before.

She like me was short. Her hair was dark, and she had a chubby little body. She was as flat as a board up top, with wide hips. She had a beautiful smile, though and I could see how men would find her attractive.

I think we were equally surprised, but neither of us was really watching where we were going.

"Sorry," we both blurted out at the same instant. Then we both started laughing. I offered to show her around town since she was new, and she accepted. I took her to Sam Drucker's store first, and we had lunch there.

Norma Jean served us and as usual she was listening to every word we said. After a few moments of listening, she joined into the conversation.

"Did you say your name is Ellie?" she asked. "You ain't the wife of that E-van-gel-I-cal preacher what's fixin' ta preach at us are ya?"

"Yes, I am," said Ellie. "Are you coming?"

"Maybe," said Norma Jean. "How many times does your hubby pass the collection plate?"

Ellie looked hurt. "Only once," she said. "And that's near the end. If you don't like what he says you don't have to give anything. And most of the money will stay with your local church."

"Maybe, we'll come," said Norma Jean. "But it's a strong maybe. Sam, that's my husband. Sam don't like to give up the chance to make money. He figures that if he closes the store, he ain't sellin' anything. But we'll see."

After we left Drucker's, we wandered around the town. The more time we spent together the more we talked. I've always been a good listener and sometimes people tend to tell me more than is really good for them because of it.

Ellie started out talking about her husband's church and their beliefs. Even when I told her that I lived with a man whom I loved, but wasn't married to, she was okay with it. Apparently, her husband's church was very modern and very tolerant about sex. In their church, sex was considered just another human biological function. I noticed that when she said that, her face changed.

"Ellie you can tell me about it," I said. She looked at me and then almost started crying. She let loose a flood of words and tears and cursing that I never would have expected to come out of the mouth of a preacher's wife.

Apparently, her husband was in town to help one particular woman get her husband back. The woman was giving them money, but the money meant nothing. The woman and her husband were famous people and helping them could get a lot of notoriety for Ellie's husband and his church.

"So we have a famous actress coming to our little town?" I asked.

Ellie told me the woman wasn't an actress. She was the ex-wife of a very famous astronaut. She wanted him back badly and had written a book about their life together that turned out to be a bunch of lies. I immediately knew who it was and clammed up.

I stopped just listening and started to pump Ellie for information. I found out that the main reason Ellie's husband was in town was to reunite those former spouses, and it would happen over my dead body.

I also found out that the reason Ellie was so angry was because Ellie's husband had started having sex with the woman and had gotten so busy fucking her that he hadn't touched Ellie in weeks.

She told me how she hated tall thin blond women because they reminded her of the bitch that was fuckin' her husband. I looked at her for a second because she'd gotten pretty worked up. And when she said the word 'husband' she had almost said something else.

I did my best to calm her down while my mind was running pretty quickly. I had to keep her thinking that I was on her side and in a way; I was. But I knew the woman she was talking about was Elizabeth, Jack's former wife. I also knew that Jack probably still had some degree of buried feelings for her. But I was sure that if his back was against the wall, Jack would pick me over her. He'd pick me even without the secret I held over his head.

I spent a big part of the afternoon calming Ellie down and showing her interesting things all over town. I couldn't wait to get home to Jack.

When I finally got there, I headed straight for his garage. The sounds coming from inside of it made me laugh.

"And I think it's gonna be a long, long time," he sang at the top of his lungs. He was nowhere near the key that Elton John sang along with him in. It was funny; I've heard that people who are truly themselves are described as dancing as if no one could see them. Well ... Jack sang as if no one could hear him. His voice was awful, and I loved him even more for it.

"A rocket mah-ah-ah-ahn ... Ahm a rocket man," he sang. As he sang he clanked away at whatever it was that he did under the hood of his latest Mustang. His iPad was on the work table beside him and according to what I could see on the screen it had some kind of data about engine performance on it. I remembered that he'd been talking about adding a refrigerator or some kind of cold air ... Maybe it was hot air ... Blow dryer thingy to get more horsepower out of it without using a super turbo thingy because it would alter the natural rotation of the world ... Let's face it ... I never really understand half of what he talks about ... But I love listening to him telling me.