Rocky & Bullwinkle Ep. 03

Story Info
Our heroes search for the transformed Boris. (Finale)
1.2k words
3.8
16.2k
3

Part 3 of the 3 part series

Updated 09/22/2022
Created 12/13/2007
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In the last episode Rocky and Bullwinkle, along with their temporary ally Natasha Fatale, were frantically searching for a young lady who had wandered away from their group. The young lady was none other than that villainous spy, Boris Badenov who had been transformed by an errant shot of exotic radiation developed by Pottsylvanian scientists. This occurred as a result of a bungled—

"Don't make it sound so bad, darlink," said Natasha. "You don't want to embarrass the lady, do you?"

Of course I don't. Well, an unfortunate chain of events occurred which I'm too much of a gentleman to recount. Anyway, their intention is to blast the young lady with the same radiation in the hopes of reversing the process and getting back the old Boris Badenov thus saving the series from terminal boredom. But their efforts thus far had just put them in a hole.

"Looking on the bright side, at least we have our new privy dug," said Bullwinkle.

The ray gun used was broken, but a strange dog and his boy arrived on the scene to make the necessary repairs and save the day.

"Mr. Peabody and I were on our way to visit leaders from the Soviet Union and Russia."

"That's right, Sherman. But I figured it wouldn't hurt if we did a little...Stalin for time."

"But you said we were going to Italy on a related matter, Mr. Peabody. How is that related?"

"Well, I want you to see the monument the Italians built to honor the founder of the Soviet Union."

"I didn't know they had one. What's it called?"

"Sherman, I'm surprised you've never heard of the...Lenin Tower of Pisa."

"Don't go hurryin' off on our account, guys," said Bullwinkle. "Heh heh! Get it?"

"Actually, no. Say goodbye, Sherman. It's time we were...Putin on the Ritz."

"Goodbye."

"The word you wanted was Russian, Bullwinkle," said Rocky.

"Huh?"

"Don't go...Russian off on our account."

"Oh. I thought it was something in my delivery."

"Can we stop wasting time and find girl?" said Natasha.

Putting words to action, the strange trio tracked the young woman's footprints to the Veronica Lake shore where the trail ended.

"Something bad has happened to Boris, the poor darlink," Natasha moaned as she choked back tears.

"Look," said Rocky, "there's a boat out on the lake."

Natasha and Bullwinkle looked in the direction Rocky was pointing and saw a small cabin cruiser just off shore. The craft was under power and traveling slowly in tight but erratic circles.

"Maybe the pilot has seen your friend," said Bullwinkle.

"Looks like pilot has seen nothing but bottle," Natasha replied. "He looks drunk."

"I swear I've seen that kind of boatmanship somewhere before," said Rocky. "Ahoy the boat," the intrepid squirrel called. A man appeared and waved.

"Hi, Rocky. Hi, Bullwinkle," yelled the man. "How are you?"

"Captain Peachfuzz?"

Sure enough, the pilot of the small craft was none other than Captain Peter "Wrong Way" Peachfuzz, former naval officer and present skipper of the liner S.S Andalusia. Captain Peachfuzz acquired his unfortunate nickname in the navy. He was ordered to sail his ship to the Antarctic and wound up in Tahiti. After being relieved of his command and drummed out of the navy, the good captain purchased the S.S. Andalusia, made possible through an inheritance. On her maiden voyage, Captain Peachfuzz sailed the Andalusia in circles for four days. Rather than staging a mutiny the crew constructed a phony wheelhouse and fooled their captain into thinking he was piloting the vessel.

"Have you seen a young lady in a pink dress wandering around here?"

"You mean my fiancée?" The sought-after young lady appeared beside Captain Peachfuzz and waved.

"It's Boris!" Natasha cried. "Did you say fiancée? Impossible!"

"It's not impossible," Peachfuzz replied. "This beautiful young lady has agreed to become Mrs. Peter Peachfuzz. We're going to be married on the high seas. I'll perform the ceremony myself. That's my right as a ship's captain, you know."

"But you don't understand," said Rocky. "She's not who you think she is."

"I know who she was, Rocky, and I don't care. She's the love of my life and I'll send you guys another bomb if you try to change her back."

"That was you?"

"Yes it was," Peachfuzz replied. "Could you do me a favor, Rocky? I'm trying to find my way out of here. Could you point me in the right direction?"

"It's that way, Captain," said Rocky and pointed. Captain Peachfuzz saluted and turned the boat in the direction indicated.

"Why did you do that, Rocky," exclaimed Bullwinkle. "Now he'll escape with our meal ticket."

"This is Captain Peachfuzz we're dealing with, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Bullwinkle replied, "I think."

Rocky knew his man apparently. Not long after started moving off in one direction, Captain Peachfuzz steered the craft back toward where the trio was standing.

"He'll probably run the boat aground this time," said Rocky.

"I'm not taking chance," said Natasha and took aim with her ray gun.

"Don't shoot," cried Rocky. "You might hit Captain Peachfuzz. Stop her, Bullwinkle!"

The mighty moose tackled the perilous Pottsylvanian but she was still able to get off her shot and a tremendous explosion blew apart the craft sending pieces of wreckage and billowing smoke everywhere.

"Captain Peachfuzz," wailed Rocky.

"Darlink," wailed Natasha.

"Our meal ticket," wailed Bullwinkle.

Things look grim for the occupants of that boat. Is this the end of everything?

"What the heck is going on," screamed the distinctive voice of Boris Badenov.

"Boris, you're back!"

"Of course I'm back, Natasha," he said as stood in the shallow water just offshore. "Uh, where have I been?" He noticed the pink dress he was wearing. "Hoo boy! On second thought, I don't want to know."

"What about Captain Peachfuzz?" Rocky said.

"If you mean that girl in the uniform, she's all right. Just fainted."

"Did you say she? Oh, well. We still have the ray gun. We can switch her back."

"I hate to break this to you, Rocky," said Bullwinkle, "but I stepped on the gun. It's crushed to smithereens."

This is a fine kettle of fish. How can this ever be resolved?

"With cinema magic, of course," said Boris Badenov. "Time has passed. Allow me to introduce my bride, Petra Badenova."

Wow! Congratulations to the bride and groom. When did this happen?

"Just now," said Rocky. "I gave away the bride and acted as best squirrel. The mayor of Frostbite Falls presided."

"I was maid of honor," said Natasha. "I'm so happy for you, Boris."

"I'm happy too, Natasha," said Boris. "Just don't tell Central Control. They don't approve of happiness."

"I was an usher and hat rack," said Bullwinkle.

Well, this is a first; a finale where everyone's happy.

"Excuse me, Boris my love."

"Yes, Petra my sweet?"

"I have the strangest craving...for maybe squirrel pie or leg of moose. Am I being silly?"

"Not at all," Boris replied. "In fact, I'll get you both. Bwa ha ha ha ha!"

"I'm outta here, Rocky!"

"Wait for me, Bullwinkle!"

"Come back here, you two. You'll disappoint new bride and expectant mother."

It looks like this adventure isn't ending on a happy note after all...especially if our heroes are caught. Be with us next time, if there is a next time, for the Adventures of Rocky the Flying Squirrel and Bullwinkle Moose.

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AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Outstanding

It's like I was watching the old show. Well done.

voluptuary_manquevoluptuary_manqueabout 16 years ago
Buwahahaha

Ah, the good old days. Where is Jay Ward when we really need him?

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