Romantic Nonsense

Don walked home in the rain, feeling the cold drops hit him in the face carried by the wind, assaulting him. He trudged on knowing that at the end of his journey, SHE awaited him. Juanita was the finest women he had ever had and she said often the same about him, of course not referring to him as a woman. The sex had been incredibly intense, porno movie intense. It was almost as if they were being directed by a genius of porn. But nay, it was all them.

Don walked in the door and found Juanita sitting on the couch in front of the fire. In the background he could hear Vietnamese folk music softly playing, filling the room with a harsh yet somewhat soothing soundtrack. She wore only an eye patch over her left breast. He was perplexed yet, he learned early on to question nothing of this minx.

"There you are my lover. Why the delay?" she purred in her oh so sexy way; her voice soft yet demanding.

"I was delayed due to the weather, inability to get a taxicab, my need to visit a bathroom and the lack of an easily accessible one." He replied, adding, "But I am here now, my love and willing to do your bidding. Command me my sweet and I shall obey."

Juanita stood. The fire gave her skin an orange glow. The warmth was inviting as was her body. She instructed Don to disrobe and kneel by the roaring flames. She had added a few logs just to be sure it was hot enough to comfort him. As he knelt, she rubbed a towel over his head and shoulders. He was unsure if the fire or her flesh gave off more heat towards his skin.

As she patted him dry, she kissed his head. Then she knelt behind him and kissed his shoulder as she dried his lower back, chest and genitals.

"Your hands are like those of a surgeon or sculptor. So precise, so skilled and yet tender and kind. I adore you mon petite chou." He leaned back and rested his head upon her soft shoulder.

"You are the warmth of a summer day. The sun shining through the clouds of despair," she replied.

As she dried his manhood, she could feel it begin to grow a bit. She chuckled slightly and kissed his forehead. She continued, "When we are together, life is like an ornate tapestry; large, well worn yet, so familiar and beautiful." Then she dropped the towel and gently grasped his slowly growing member.

"Take me, oh darling, take me as you've never taken me before," he whispered.

As she caressed his phallus, she replied, "You're penis, it becomes engorged with blood, making it rigid. It beckons me, yearns for me."

Don let out a breath, a sigh, a slight cough, "Sorry." Then he added, "My cock is at your command oh beloved one. Use it as you see fit. Do not hesitate to use it, abuse it or love it. My cock is YOUR cock."

As the blood continued to stream into it, it took some from the upper head and Don became just a bit dizzy. Juanita sensed this and had him lay back on the bearskin rug, resting his head on the head of the deceased and once mighty bruin. His member was now standing tall and erect, pointing towards the ceiling with such a splendor that Juanita gasped. As often as she had seen it, each time was like the first. There it stood, all 11 1/3 inches of pure manhood. She gazed, a tear forming in the corner of her eye, saliva gathering in the base of her jaw. Her heart quickened its beating as she grasped the girth of the turgid member with both hands So big, so inviting and yet, intimidating.

"Does my erection scare you, oh sweetest of the sweet?" Don asked, knowing it did not and yet loving the game.

"Oh, how could I have ever lived so long without you and your massive warrior of love. This Goliath of a cock fills me emotionally with excitement and awe even before it fills me physically. The shaft is so perfect, the head terrifyingly ample. Oh, oh dear sweet Don, you are so kind and loving and generous to share such a thing of beauty with a beast such as myself." Juanita hung her head in abject shame. She was not a raving beauty. On a scale of one to ten, Don had to admit she would never rate more than an eight, but her daring and her adventurousness more than made up for her lack of true loveliness. Ah, the sacrifices he had made over the years, but he would, nay could never consider Juanita a 'sacrifice'. She was an exploit.

Don slipped his finger under her chin and brought her eyes up to his. "There, there. Never call yourself a beast. No, you are as comely as any woman I have ever known, apart from Zelda who frankly was...." He caught himself and went on saying, "You are a vision; a true work of art for the ages. Now my dearest, blow me!"

Juanita's tear dripped upon Don's chest as she smiled knowing how sincere he truly was. She leaned forward and wrapped her tender lips around his swollen member. Her mouth felt so good against the tender skin of his rigid pecker.

"Ah, that's it, you're very talented. That use of your tongue is worth its weight in gold. Take in what you can, I know it's a lot, but do what you can do. Yes, woman, lube it up for me, fan the flames of my desire with your hot wet mouth." Don was caught up in the moment. He continued, "Oh heavenly creature, your lips, your tongue, the skill of your hands are working in true concert with one and other. I am experiencing ecstasy in its truest form."

She continued for several minutes, following his instructions, loving his compliments and living for the moment. He continued to instruct her, "Do not forget the boys, my testicles, the scrotum, love me there as well. Do not neglect them for they too need love. Fondle them, gently squeeze them, but, ah, not too hard for they are tender."

Juanita didn't really need instructions of any kind. She had made love to Don enough times to know what he did and did not like and she had a memory like a steel trap. Though each time did seem new and exciting, once she got into the groove, it was like she went on autopilot, but though she went through the motions, it wasn't like she was SIMPLY 'going through the motions'. She was enjoying the ride, like a train on a track. Where she was going was predetermined and yet, the thrill of that ride was all that mattered. Oh, of course now and then she would change something up, it was what kept him coming back, over and over, but it was the constancy that felt so right, so familiar and comfortable.

Then, she stopped. She kissed her way up his belly to his chest. She kissed his neck and then his lips, sharing just a slight taste of pre-cum on his lips. He didn't shudder or gag, he sucked her tongue between his lips and returned her kisses, passionately.

"You owe me oral," she whispered with a smile on her face. He smiled back and got up onto his hands and knees. She pushed him back down and said, "No, baby, I'm taking a seat, right here." She put her finger on his lips and then straddled his face, lowering her mound onto his waiting mouth.

Don extended his tongue and strained his lips upward, raising his head just a bit as he did.

Juanita pushed herself downwards and groaned. In a soft and yet guttural tone she said, "Oh yeah, that's it. Work my swollen clit you dog. Eat me, bury your face into my hot wet snatch. Eat me like you're in a pie eating contest, get my blueberries all over your cheeks. Taste me, lover, taste my womanhood and feel the moisture envelop your head. Feel the wetness drip off your ears. Moan for me, let me feel your lips shiver against mine."

Don was an obedient servant. He began to motorboat her vulva as his tongue feverishly swept up and down and back and forth. She WAS wet, just as he knew she would be. He wrapped his arms around her thighs as if doing so would give him more access, but alas, he could get no deeper with his face.

As he drank her in, his gender defining appendage wiggled a bit on its own, reminding him it was there. Juanita reached back and gave it a stroke. She also grabbed a throw pillow that had fallen close by and shoved it beneath Don's straining neck.

"That should make you a bit more comfortable, my dear. NOW, you filth, you can do better than that, EAT! Eat me like you've never eaten anyone before. Oh yes, yes, yes" Juanita squirmed on him.

Don began to realize he was having some trouble breathing and lowered his head a bit against the pillow, though never allowing his tongue to lose contact. He took a deep breath and returned to the task at hand with renewed vigor and a new sense of purpose. He would give her an orgasm orally before he would give her more vaginally with his sword of lust.

The background music had changed from the sounds of Vietnam to a gentle yodeling of Alpine splendor.

Juanita continued to grind herself and wriggle as he mouthed the Gettysburg Address over her erect clitoris. He could feel her shudder and heard her breathing getting labored. "Ah, my goal is about to be achieved," he said aloud, though it was barely audible over Juanita's grunts and groans and the yodeling.

He reached for her with his fingers as he licked, he flicked them about her mound, though it was a bit futile since he could barely reach her.

Juanita screamed in passions throws, "LICK IT! LICK ME TO NIRVANA! BRING ME TO VALHALLA! ODIN BE PRAISED! LICK ME YOU SAXON DOG, LICK, LICK, LICK!" And he did with all the gusto any man could hope to muster.

The yodeling got louder and suddenly, Juanita let out a cry of pure joy then collapsed onto the floor beside Don. Both of them were weakened by the fabulous experience they had just shared.

Within minutes, Juanita had garnered enough strength to sit upright again and began to play with the chest hair on Don. The fertile carpet that covered his torso was thick and dripping with sweat. She twirled his hair and said, "Now, you must fuck me, but dear Don, I need you to be at full strength. Rest up my darling so that you may impale me with your spear and thrust your lance deep within my loins so that you and I will both be physically spent and satisfied beyond all our dreams." Then she kissed him and asked, "Lemonade?"

Don raised his head, his neck a bit stiff and replied, "Yes, something cool and light would be splendid at this juncture. Lemonade is just the ticket."

Juanita got up and headed for the kitchen. As she walked away, Don stared at her long shapely back and watched as her tight tush shifted back and forth with each move of her legs.

"How magnificent; such a delectable creature and so pleasing to the eye. I am such a lucky devil to be able to shtoop that!"

She returned with the cool refreshing beverage and placed a glass next to Don. She sat on a large pillow next to him and sipped the tart liquid. Then she gulped and belched.

"Dearest, your belches are like the songs of the sirens of Greek Mythology, daring me to crash against the rocks," gushed Don as he stroked her calf. "Each and every utterance, every sound you make is music to the gods. You are a muse, and inspiration."

"Ah, my fierce tiger, your words are like honey and your sincerity is the hive." With that, Juanita slid from the pillow and kissed her beloved. Don responded in kind.

Then, Don said, "Hold on a sec, I'm thirsty as hell. I haven't sipped my lemonade yet," and he too took a gulp, but the need for a burp escaped him. The lemonade needed sugar as well, but he was willing to overlook this tiny error on the part of his idol, reminding himself that forgiveness was devine.

As he gazed into her eyes, his manhood began to twitch slightly, and then, once more, the valve had been reversed and the blood began to flow south, or actually, west as he was lying down. The growth was not lost on Juanita who spread her legs, the aroma of her vulva wafting out with such a sweet fragrant scent that Don had to take a deep breath through his nose. His sense was overwhelmed with the incense of her femininity. He lunged and began to kiss her legs, feet and toes but she reprimanded him with a light oath, "Nay, nay, stud, we must copulate now. It's in the cards," said she with a wry smile.

"Shall we perform doggie style or cowgirl? You know which I prefer," Don winked. He wasn't sure which he preferred but believed she would figure it out. Things could always go better when Juanita took charge, a dominatrix? No, but she was a commanding presence that Don just relished.

Juanita cooed and leaned over to nibble his earlobe. Her tongue slid in swirling about gently which caused the erectile function in his Johnson to be completed to its fullest. He sprang up straining the skin. It was almost painful. Her mouth as her body, was total near perfection, almost. He never did like her left big toe, a bit too wide for his tastes, but he felt powerless to do anything about it and to bring it up might make her sad. Knowing she lacked so much in spite of having and offering so much more was something he often contemplated. He could deal with this tiny flaw, that and the fact that the hair on the back of her head started a bit too far down on her neck. "Oh Don, you cad, how can you be so picayune," he would think when alone with his thoughts.

Juanita lowered her right breast to his mouth and whispered, "Enjoy this token of my love, dearest one, enjoy it for both of us."

Don did. He slipped his tongue up and over and around the erect tip of her oh so exquisite mammary gland. Oh my, she had sprinkled some brown sugar on it while getting the lemonade! How delightful. He had been unable to see it in the low light of the fire, regardless of how bright that fire was as it raged. "If only she had put some of this in the lemonade," he thought as he sucked upon her hanging delight.

She reached down and grasped his sex pole and slowly stroked it. "Put this massive man meat into my womanly canyon, stud muffin, make me scream, make me shudder with excruciating jubilation. I want you inside me, NOW."

"I'm still waiting for you to pick a position," he sighed. He wasn't impatient, he was so enjoying the moment, but sheesh, just pick one already.

Juanita swung her leg over his torso. "Ah, cowgirl," he thought and he smiled. It was truly his favorite since he loved to watch her face as she rode him, watching her luscious tits bouncing up and down. Although watching them swing and sway in doggie style was pretty awesome, too. But hey, he was not one to complain, not when he knew that he and he alone was making wild crazy love to this heavenly body.

Juanita lowered herself onto him. It was the second time this evening she would do this, use him to his greatest potentials and Don, loving to live up to those potentials. As his rock solid finger of fate slid deeply inside, she gasped, groaned and gritted her teeth. Each time he entered her, she would be stretched and for a brief moment, it hurt, but that momentary pain was worth the incredible pleasure that would follow. She leaned forward because to sit upright upon his dowel of sensuality would potentially kill her. As she did, her breasts hung before his face. Don reached up and began to stroke the sides of her fun bags. He was still a bit put off by the eye patch, but hey, as he always said to himself, "What the hell do I care?"

Don raised his pelvis a bit and bent his knees. Juanita rocked back and forth using his thighs as a bit of a backstop as his Empire State Penis pierced her. Her boobs swung wildly in front of Don's bulging eyes and he occasionally licked the exposed nipple. He noticed also that the yodeling had now become the greatest hits of John Philip Souza. "Interesting," he thought.

"Rip me apart you Spartan Love God, send me over the waves of the Aegean Sea! Shove that thing inside, bury yourself in me, deeper, deeper, dee.....AH, wait, not THAT deep!" She cried. "I want to live to feel the end of our sexual journey. My internal organs must not be punished so."

Don understood. He had been with so many women and only one, Roxanne had been able to take all of him. He missed her and would occasionally flashback to her funeral, so sad yet she died so satisfied. If only she hadn't left him so quickly that night after making hot steamy love, she may not have run in front of that bus. So be it, water under the dam, or something like that.

This was not love making, this was pure debauchery at its most primitive. It was of epic proportions and simply calling it 'sex' was a misnomer that no one could forgive.

Don looked up at his lover's chin as she rocked back and forth. He was engulfed in his desire to please her but damn, he was really getting off on this as well. He called out to her as if she were in another locale, "Oh baby, your chasm of femininity has enveloped my member. You are so wet and inviting. I can last forever if you command it. I am your willing slave. Use me but don't discard me my sweet for I am as devoted to you as a dog is to the one who feeds him and you, YOU oh precious one feed me the elixir of passion. I long for you and long to satisfy you in any way I can. I love fucking the shit out of you and slapping my dick on your head and....oh dearest, allow me the chance to fill your void with my semen, remembering that I got snipped so it's cool, no babies. I adore you and all you encompass." As he finished his somewhat short soliloquy her boobs slapped him in the face. He wondered if she had bent a bit more to do this on purpose. It didn't matter, it was all good.

"As your bayonet of desire plunges into my soft inviting gorge, I feel so special that you share it with me." She was starting to breath very heavily and her words were starting to be sporadic. She was no longer making sense. "Yes, YES, stick me. A little to the left, oh that's it, baby. One for the money, two for the show, three blind mice! Now GO CATS, GO!"

He was confused as hell, but his euphoria was overtaking his mind and as she continued, it started making perfect sense to him. He grunted and groaned and breathed as if in labor. He also began to count as if doing CPR. "ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE!" thrusting hardest on five. He did five sets of thrusts and then kissed her tits.

"Bags of candy fill my thoughts, lover. Keep my pussy wet with desire! FUCK MY HOLE! FUCK IT HARD!"

Juanita was rocking back and forth so quickly and with such determination, she actually managed to get most of Don inside her, even causing him to have to readjust his legs, having them knocked down by her fabulous ass.

Don could feel the semen within his shaft rising. He tried to think of things to slow the process and allow Juanita more time riding his cock.

"Oh you wild stallion, keep me filled, harder, HARDER you bucking bronco! Allow me to ride in your sexual rodeo!"

Don was close but he diverted his thoughts. Unfortunately he did so aloud and when he said to Juanita, "I think the situation in China is really disturbing. Oh man, I swear those guys are cruising for trouble."

Juanita stopped rocking for a brief moment, gazed down at Don, smiled and slapped him. Then she continued rocking and riding."

Don, realizing his error began to think about sports, but not being a sports guy, all he could do was picture balls, which went from baseballs (the old standby?), basketballs, tennis balls, men's balls.....

This caught him off guard and he nearly went flaccid, but he found it did the trick for slowing down the off white goo that had been approaching the urethral opening with ferocity. It now seemed to send the message, "Oh come on, not THAT!" He continued to think of testicles as Juanita rode him furiously all the while screaming obscenities.

As he thought of men's genitalia, he found himself slightly aroused again. "Hmm, I wonder if I could handle another man as well as I handle myself?" he thought as Juanita screamed out the lyrics to 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World.' Now she was swaying a bit side to side and her breasts were striking him on the cheeks. He didn't mind, in fact, he was truly enjoying it, even the breast with the still unexplained eye patch. He thought, "I really have to ask about that."