Rosarum et Tulips Ch. 03

Murphy felt like she was going to vomit, and it had nothing to do with the constant morning sickness she was suffering from. As she and Nathan touched down in New Hampshire from New York, she felt totally and completely dreadful. Rain splattered on her window in the first class section of their plane, and she wanted more than anything to get off this flight. She wanted to turn around, and return to New York. She wanted to turn back time, and suddenly wind up in Gloria's office, licking her pussy.

"Murphy?" Nathan's voice floated to her as she heard and felt the plane grind to a halt.

Hm, grind, she thought. She remembered the night, four months ago, when she bribed the bouncer at Seventeen to let her in. She's seen her lover's twin sister, Harmony, with Violet Jennings, involved in some heavy petting, before adjourning upstairs to fuck.

Her stomach twisted in knots when she recalled grinding on the dance floor with Crystal, and then, ultimately, having a one night stand with her. Well...half of a one night stand, as—thankfully, of course —Crystal hadn't gone down on her or gone inside her. Even though she was drunk, it pained her to remember it all the same.

Murphy had later found out that the woman she believed was Gloria was in fact her twin sister, Harmony. As a result, she really wasn't acting in revenge, just cheating for the sake of cheating. She thought to come up with the, "I was totally wasted!" excuse, but that was so childish, and so '70's, she thought, recalling her favorite rock band of that era, The Runaways. But then, after Harmony returned to Boston, where she worked as a painter, Gloria had hooked up with beautiful African-American Violet Jennings anyhow. Murphy wondered whose pussy tasted better to Gloria...

"Murphy, did you fall asleep again?" asked Nathan.

Murphy turned and looked at her...fiancé. That word just made her skin crawl when she thought of Nathan that was. She loved Nathan, yes, and yes, he did get her off, but she wasn't in love with him. It had been easy to go with him, because he'd gotten a job offer near Dartmouth, and the fact that she was pregnant with his baby made the pieces just come together.

"Not sleeping," she said, giving him a smile. "Just thinking about our new life together and...stuff."

"And stuff?" Nathan asked with a grin, putting his arm around her shoulders in a good-natured like way. "Don't you think your college professor's will resent the expression 'and stuff'? I know if I ever talked to a patient that way, I'd be in big trouble, and for good reason. A doctor of physician strives never to hurt anyone, and emotional feelings count as much as physical ones, even though they're not as visible."

That's where you're wrong, Murphy thought, kissing Nathan on the cheek, though it made her stomach churn to do so, for she wasn't as straight as everyone thought she was. "We've landed?" she asked.

Nathan nodded, looking up as the flight attendant with beautiful legs announced that they could stand and take their luggage out of the overhead compartment. He stood up and opened the compartment, removing his basic black duffle and Murphy's green roller suitcase. Murphy took it and they were soon allowed to leave the plane and go to baggage claim.

She was thankful that they were in the same time zone, but she was totally beat from the plane ride and the constant running around. If she wasn't pregnant, she knew she would have simply gotten a cab to her apartment with Nathan and crashed until the next morning, without eating or drinking anything at all. Nathan had asked if they could go out for a big dinner, but Murphy was craving a pizza.

They got online as soon as they got to their apartment. Nathan was only renting this place until they could move into their refurbished brownstone which was an early wedding present from the mom's and the dad's. Murphy and Nathan got to pick everything, but hadn't known up until the last minute that their parents were paying for it and that it was a wedding present. It was not an upsetting thing for either of them.

Murphy sat on the couch from Ikea without bothering to unpack first and pulled out her Galaxy S4—a graduation present. She typed in her address and found a pizza place not far away. She called them and ordered half olives and figs, for Nathan, and half sausage and peppers for herself. She also ordered cheese sticks—deep fried things as thick as a sausage and filled to capacity with mozzarella cheese—and a chocolate caramel cake for dessert. She gave them her credit card number and the address and then there was nothing to do but wait.

"Hon, I'm gonna grab a shower," she called to Nathan.

He stuck his head out of the room he was in down the hall. "You doing all right, babe?" he asked.

Murphy nodded. "I just have a few knots in my back, is all."

Nathan gave her a sly smile. "Do you want some company?"

"No!" Murphy said without thinking. She giggled a bit to cover up her embarrassment. "It's not that. I just need a few minutes..."

Nathan nodded like he understood as Murphy removed her toiletries bag from her purse and walked down the other hallway. She shut and locked the door behind her and turned on the fan in case Nathan tried speaking to her. She didn't want to hear his voice, just for a little while.

She crossed over to the shower after placing her bag on the counter and managed to get ahold of the nozzle of the shower. She made it to the temperature that she wanted and then turned around to undress. She looked at herself in the floor-length mirror, admiring her breasts, as they'd become immaculate in her pregnancy. Thankfully, she's started using that cocoa butter stuff on her breasts and stomach, so she didn't have any of those disgusting looking stretch marks.

She thought of Gloria again as she stared at her naked body. She remembered the first email that she'd sent to her.

Dear Murphy,

It was so great to see you after five years! I'm very happy that you got into some good colleges, and I hope you end up happy with whichever one you end up choosing. I went to Dartmouth myself, and it was truly an eye opening experience.

I'm so looking forward to our dinner date this Friday. Do you have any food allergies that I should be aware of? I don't want to poison you by mistake! I just want to make sure you're comfortable.

See you Friday!

Gloria

"Murphy?" Nathan called from the other side of the door.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath. She turned off the shower and crossed to the door, not bothering to throw on a robe or anything. She opened the door and saw Nathan standing there, resembling a whipped puppy. "What's up?" she asked, trying her best to sound concerned.

"Nothing, I just...missed you."

Murphy smiled indulgently at him and pulled the door open wider, so as Nathan could see that she was naked. She got to her knees and unzipped his jeans without hesitation and yanked them down. Then, she pulled down his boxers, ignoring his nervous behavior. He was already hard by the time she'd exposed him, and shook her head at it, her expression a grin. She then took it into her mouth and began to suck it. Nathan began to groan immediately. She sucked harder and harder still, all the while in tune with his moans of pleasure. She didn't know how long it would take him to reach ecstasy, but it didn't take long at all. He was telling her not to stop one minute, and the next minute, she pulled him from her mouth and he came all over the hallway floor.

She giggled and got to her feet. She turned to the bathroom sink so as he would have a view of her perfect ass as she washed her hands. "Maybe you could clean that up while I'm in the shower," she said demurely, kicking the door shut with her heel.

"What did you think about last week?" she asked carefully.

"What about last week?" Gloria asked.

Murphy sighed. "I kissed you," she said. "What did you think of that? I left before you really did anything."

Gloria sighed. "I was just wondering how you knew..."

"Knew? What?" she asked.

"Well...I've been a lesbian all my life."

"But...your husband..."

"He's the only man I ever loved," Gloria explained. "When I was fourteen years old, my mom died and my stepfather repeatedly abused me. Just before my fifteenth birthday, he made me work as a hooker, and how I resented it. For three years I worked, and in my second year, just after my seventeenth birthday, I met Andrew. He told me to distance myself from the business and to leave it entirely. My stepfather would threaten to beat and rape me if I did such a thing, so out of fear, I stayed. Just a month before I turned eighteen, my stepfather discovered that I was on the pill. He was a religious fanatic who believed that birth control was wrong, and he nearly beat me to an inch of my life. A month later, I slept with Andrew for the first time, got pregnant, married him, and ran away from my stepfather, but not before turning him in. He's serving thirty-five years, and I changed my name so he can't find me."

"Are you a lesbian...because you resent all the meant who ever demeaned you?" Murphy asked.

"I suppose that's some of it," Gloria replied. "But, then again, Andrew never treated me like a hooker. He treated me like a princess, and I loved every minute of it."

Murphy found herself scooting closer to Gloria. "I love every minute with you," she said quietly. Murphy opened her eyes and sighed. This had to stop, she knew that now. It seemed that she had only two options: Suck it up—literally—and marry Nathan and be the good doctor's wife and have his babies; or be happy and get with Gloria and tell her parents the truth.

It would be a long road, that she knew. And it definitely wouldn't be an easy one to take. She worried what would happen if her circles of friends deserted her or something. She knew that it wouldn't be as simple as the façade she'd put about being straight, that was for sure. But then, life wasn't supposed to be easy, was it?

Things were much better when Murphy's classes began. She was taking English 102, Calculus, Advanced European History, Marine Biology, Poetic Justice, and Basic Health. She was very much impressed with her Advanced European History teacher, Ms. Fox, who was very attractive, yet something seemed very familiar about her. She had a thick French accent, which amused Murphy, as France had been a great enemy of England for hundreds of years. "Could anyone name three kings of England?" asked Ms. Fox. Murphy's hand shot up.

"Yes, Miss—"

"Spezia," Murphy replied. "Murphy Zucchero-Spezia," she said. "Three kings of England are King Edward V—one of the Princes in the Tower—and then there was Henry VIII—infamous for his six wives and his breaking of the Catholic Church and the Pope in Rome whom he renamed the Bishop of Rome—and there was also King George VI—known for his speech impediment that Colin Firth so brilliantly portrayed and got the much-deserved Oscar for the film The King's Speech."

Ms. Fox blinked. "You're right, Miss Zucchero-Spezia," she said. Ms. Fox didn't take her eyes off of Murphy for the entire class. When class was dismissed—Murphy's final class of the day—Ms. Fox asked her to stay behind. Murphy didn't mind at all, and listened.

"I used to teach art at New York University before I discovered my true calling was history," Ms. Fox said.

"Wow, art?" asked Murphy. "That's a really big change, Ms. Fox."

"Please, call me Gabrielle," she said, her thick accented French quickly turning Murphy on. "We're not in class anymore."

Murphy smiled. "All right, Gabrielle," she replied.

"You enjoy history?" she asked.

Murphy nodded. "Yes. It's quite fascinating to me."

Gabrielle's eyes turned and took in Murphy's engagement ring. "The man who holds your heart is fortunate."

Murphy quickly covered the ring and blushed. "Well, I..."

"You are pregnant?" Gabrielle asked.

The student nodded. "Yes."

"You're not straight, are you?" asked her teacher.

Murphy found herself shaking her head. "I'm not."

"And what do Amber and Mandy think about this?" asked Gabrielle in a concerned voice.

Murphy's eyes snapped up. "Excuse me?" she demanded.

"I know your parents."

"Fox," Murphy whispered, her eyes widening.

"What about it?"

"You fucked one of my mom's!" she accused.

"Not your bio-mom," Gabrielle chuckled. "You look more like Mandy...the other one. I was this close to getting Amber away from her but..." She shrugged her thin, pale shoulders. "She wasn't as into older women as she led me to believe."

"Stop, stop!" Murphy cried.

"We fucked in my art studio," Gabrielle went on.

"I don't want to hear..."

"Her pussy was so wet and she came all over my bed..."

"Stop it!" Murphy screamed, slapping Gabrielle across the face. "That's my mother you're talking about!"

"Stepmother, technically," Gabrielle replied, not even reacting to the slap, nor the red mark imprinted on her cheek.

"You're sick," Murphy hissed, getting to her feet and putting her backpack over her shoulder. "I think I'll be switching out of this class."

"But what will you tell Mommy and Mommy about your sexuality?" Gabrielle called after her as she left the classroom.

Murphy went to bed late one night when Nathan was still at the hospital. Of course, it starred Gloria, as usual. Her stomach made flip flops, even in her sleep, because this time, it was at the end of the first time they'd ever made love, thus becoming one. She remembered the sweet intensity that came with their special brand of making love, and how she'd hadn't had it with Nathan, or with Crystal.

Gloria giggled. "I forget that you're a teenager," she said.

Murphy smirked and picked her head up and looked down at her. "Only for two more years, lover," she said.

Gloria smiled and leaned up to kiss Murphy. She put her arms around her waist and sighed. "I am so happy that you're here. Do you think you can come over next Friday?"

Murphy, unseen by Gloria, grinned. "Why?" she asked innocently.

Gloria pulled back and looked at Murphy full in the face. "Because next week I'm going to buy a strap on and take you from the back," she said very seriously.

Murphy grinned down at her. "I'll make sure I clear my calendar," she said, leaning down and kissing Gloria again.

Murphy curled up into a ball that night. Nathan wasn't home yet, but it was only ten-thirty, and that was very normal. Murphy crossed her arms over her chest, protecting her breasts and her belly. She felt utterly alone in the world, and completely lost without Gloria. As she shut her eyes and faded into sleep, dreams overtook her.

It was dark for a brief moment before anything began. Then, she was sitting across from Gloria's desk in her office at the middle school. She was trying very hard not to cry in her presence, and Gloria looked quite neutral sitting behind her seemingly formidable desk.

"I'm sorry to hear about that," Gloria said shortly. "That is a tragedy. But why would you come to me?"

"Because I love you," Murphy heard her voice say. "I love you. I told my parents that I was a lesbian, and..."

"A lesbian?" asked Gloria. "I mean....you actually used that word? It's pretty soon to be even considering this, you know."

"Oh, you mean Violet?" Murphy heard her voice spit the name. "God, is she just better at licking your pussy and stroking your fine ass, or something?" she demanded in a sarcastic voice, crossing her arms.

Gloria sighed. "I didn't mean it, Murphy. Really I didn't. It's just that..." A phone was ringing then, and Gloria stopped speaking.

Murphy's eyes opened and she looked around. It was her cell phone that was ringing annoyingly, and she rolled her eyes. The clock said midnight, and she rolled over and checked the caller I.D. Murphy recognized the number of the hospital that Nathan worked at and rolled her eyes. He was calling to tell her that he was coming home, of course. She swiped at the phone, thus making it so she was able to answer it. "Hello?"

"Is this Murphy Zucchero-Spezia?" asked an unfamiliar voice on the other end of the phone. "The fiancée of Nathan?"

"Yes?" asked Murphy. "This is Murphy. Why are you calling me? What's going on? Is everything all right?"

"I'm Nathan's boss, Dr. Paulson," the man explained. "I'm afraid we have some bad news, Murphy."

Murphy's heart went into her throat. "Bad news?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm afraid there's been an accident."

"An...accident?" Murphy whispered.

"Yes. Nathan was walking to the bus and a car, driven by a drunk driver, hit him as he crossed the street. Nathan was killed instantly and the drunk driver is in a medically induced coma in critical condition. I'm so sorry to be the one to have to tell you this..."

Murphy mechanically went through the motions of expressing remorse and thanking him. Then, as she hung up the phone, she felt as if something was bursting through her. She felt weak then, but just strong enough to call 9-1-1, and tell them that she believed she was having a miscarriage.

Murphy was transported back to New York where everyone made funeral arrangements and Amber and Mandy transferred Murphy to NYU, per her wishes. She didn't tell them about Ms. Fox; not yet, anyway. She recuperated in the hospital for a week until she was finally strong enough to return home—her childhood home. Murphy was able to correspond with NYU and turn in assignments through mail, and would formally start her classes there come January, thank goodness.

Amber and Mandy would sit with her for a while every day, discussing this and that and the other thing.

"How are you holding up?" Mandy asked.

"About the miscarriage or Nathan's passing?" Murphy asked.

"Both," Amber said.

Murphy sighed. "Taking it in stride, I guess..."

They nodded.

"Guys?" she asked.

"Yes?" they asked.

She sighed. "I was never in love with Nathan..." Murphy raised her dark eyes to theirs, and let out a second sigh. "I'm gay, Moms..."

Amber and Mandy looked at each other, shrugged, and turned back to Murphy and nodded.

"We knew," Amber said.

"Whole time," Mandy went on.

"Wait..." Murphy said. "You knew?! Why the hell didn't you say anything when Nathan and I announced our engagement or my pregnancy? Or what about when we were dating..."

"We figured you were eighteen..." Mandy began.

"...and that you'd tell us when you were ready," Amber finished.

"I was seeing someone..."

"Who were you seeing?" Mandy asked.

"Gloria James," Murphy whispered.

"The principal at the middle school?" Amber asked.

"Honey, she is kind of hot," Mandy said.

"Yeah, babe, if you like big boobed blonde—"

"Hey!" cried Murphy.

Amber chuckled. "Sorry," she said quickly.

Murphy sighed. "I'm going to go see her...today."

"Okay," Mandy said. "But...be careful."

"And don't do anything we wouldn't do," Amber said quickly.

Murphy rolled her eyes and left the house, putting a denim jacket over her black t-shirt. She wore simple jeans and tennis shoes that day, and her hair was down around her shoulders. Her keys jingled in her pocket as she walked down to where her green Fiat was parked on the street. She got into the car and drove to the school. She quickly noticed that the secretary was out for the day, and quickly entered the office.

Murphy opened the office door and shut it behind her. Gloria sat at her desk, and looked up curiously as Murphy came in. "Hi," Murphy said, cursing herself for sounding like some immature freak.

"Well, hello, Murphy," Gloria replied.

"Did you...hear about Nathan?" she asked.

Gloria nodded. "I wondered why you weren't wearing your rock... But yes, I heard. I'm sorry."

Murphy sat down. "It was, thank you."

"I...I also lost the baby..."

"I'm sorry to hear about that," Gloria said shortly. "That is a tragedy. But why would you come to me?"