Rule for Submissives

Rule One. Be yourself.

That's it. Be true to you and let the rest fall as it may. If it is your luck to find a really good Dom, then you will have a million and a half new things to learn, guidelines for your new life with Him or Her, new ways to express yourself and expand on your want to give and serve. But I think the only ironclad rule is that, to be yourself. Because let's face it, if you are just something hammered and chiseled at until you don't know who you are any more, then it isn't you.

All any of us can be is our very best. Granted, a lot of us don't know what that is or how to go about it. For us subs, a great Dom is just what the doctor ordered. Someone with insight and passion to help us on a path of discovery and improvement to shape us into the shining person we would like to be. Personally, I still don't have much of a clue. I have some ideas, but they kind of just evaporate without a good kick in the pants.

Enter Himself, my Dominant, my loving and gorgeous One who speaks for my life and heart. Ever so lucky and happy me. I lack motivation, drive, ambition. I need a catalyst, someone to get me started and keep me going.

Presto. Magic. Master.

I used to trip on that word. I prefer my own, a title I that I gave Him, but also say Master, as that is what He is. Were I a ship, He would not only have commissioned me, overseen the construction, and hand picked the crew, but would also be captain, navigator, and constant guest. I would be polished, proud, and have the finest sails on the sea. No pirate rig this, but a grand lady. Such is my Master.

As I have been an undiscovered sub my whole life, there are a great number of my responsibilities that I was already doing. Some devoted bowing and scraping to those who really didn't deserve it. I was taken. Flat out. Taken for everything I had, taken advantage of, taken for a fool, etc., etc. I will not be surprised if most of us have all been there, done that. Let us be proud who survived it, who bent but did not break, who rise above and find our station in life with a measure of pride.

I have read, and now believe, that we are not doormats. We are not weak. We are not failures. We are submissive, giving, loving, accepting, pleasing, and beautiful for all of that and so much more. It took me a while to accept this. Sometimes I am apt to forget it, when life in general gets me down, but there is a voice that brings me back, with a smile and a warm feeling inside. My Dominant. Always there to remind me how precious my gift is to Him, how much I am loved and appreciated, and needed.

I see, as does He, that we are, as He says, opposite ends of the scale. Where He leads, I follow. Where He commands, I obey. I find my home at His hand, with His collar, in His heart. I can only wish the same joy for everyone, that they find where they truly belong, as I have.

I was not originally thrilled to learn I was a submissive, let alone what is termed a natural slave. I am stubborn, opinionated, often contrary, and downright unpleasant when I feel wronged or moved to another's defense. How could I be a subby, a slave, a plaything? Granted, I had been a doormat for all of my exes, and tended to have my life ran by anyone but myself, but that didn't make me a slave. Did it? I was still a person. Wasn't I? I had some spine, sometimes. I wasn't a complete failure. Was I?

Here is where I was a victim to misconception, the views of society in general, and my acquaintances in particular. My then boyfriend carefully helped me do some thinking that lead me to do some reading that brought about the discovery for myself of what He had known for some time. I had a very submissive personality. I was very likely in fact a natural slave.

Quite a lot to take in. And I did some kicking and screaming. I was not going peacefully into this new night, this awakening, this life. What a mind job. And a half.

As I came into a somewhat grudging acceptance, I had more truths to face, and did a good bit of crying and wanting comforting. My love was there, never pushing, just nudging me off of the path to self destruction and onto the discoveries that deepen our relationship. Things don't always go where I want them too, often seems the exact opposite, but some people know what's best for me when I am blind, and thankfully, He has only my best interests at heart.

I started doing more reading, homework I call it, on my own. This was encouraged and He sent me sites and articles to expand my learning. Not all of them have been particularly useful, and several smacked of having been ripped off from others, but knowledge tends to be a good thing, though not always nice. We have both run across some complete nonsense that makes the eyes bleed.

Which is, honestly, the reason I decided to give it a try myself. If talentless hacks can carve themselves a site to spout their views onto the world, then surely I can find a few places to attempt to help out by sharing a few views and bits of my own experience. I have been helped along by some very well put together essays by those in varying parts of the lifestyle.

The least I can do is try to give a little back. I am a sub after all. Giving is what I was made for. And bliss it is, to please others, and so find my use.

We all have our separate paths, things to learn, growing to do, but the opening statement holds true. If you don't have yourself, you have lost. No matter what we become, what path we find for joy and need, we have to be true to our inner nature, or peace will never be a place we can rest. Keep searching, I know I do, but never let anyone strip away the most precious gift you have to offer. You.