Runner Girl Ch. 07

Amy and Tracy sat whispering on John's couch, while the men worked in the kitchen. "I'm still getting over the shock of this place," Amy whispered to her friend.

"I know," Tracy agreed. "I can fit my apartment in her about five times."

"At least as many for me," Amy laughed. "So it looks like William's super comfortable in the kitchen? And John's being a good sport?"

"He's trying to impress you," Tracy winked.

"Little late for that. I'm officially smitten."

Tracy sipped the wine she held in two hands as if it were actually a warm cup of coffee. "I thought you would if you got the chance to really know him. I'm still getting to know John myself, but William thinks very highly of him."

The women exchanged glances as John entered the room and took a seat next to Amy, "Are you girls talking about me again?" he teased good-naturedly.

"You wish. We're talking about writing, of course." Tracy winked at Amy.

"Ah, when do I get to read something you've written, Amy?"

"Well, anytime. You haven't asked about it before now."

"Really? That's funny, I've thought about it, but I guess I never asked. And of course I've read your blog. Speaking of which, are you ready to look at some photos?"

"Sure, but I don't want to bore William and Tracy."

"We don't bore easily," William said as he entered the room, a dish towel tucked into his waist for an apron. "I'd love to see them, and dinner won't be ready for at least thirty more minutes."

John picked up the iPad from the coffee table and said, "Okay, let's have a look."

"What happened to your hand?" Amy asked, noting a large blister along the web between his thumb and forefinger.

"Batting cages with William," John answered as he started tapping icons on the screen.

"Oh, you play baseball?"

"Not really, William's the ball player. I just felt like batting this past week."

"John is modest," William said, looking at Amy, "He is athletically gifted, but not committed to any one sport like you and I."

"Yeah, I realized that. He can just show up and run eight minute miles like it's no big deal," Amy laughed. "Thanks for reminding me."

"Then you empathize with how I felt when he asks if I'll meet him at the batting cages, and proceeds to hit for two hours straight. I could barely lift my arm the next day and I'm used to batting, but John gets a little obsessive sometimes."

Amy nodded, looking at John.

He felt her starring, but didn't look up. "Hitting baseballs is an effective anger management strategy that can keep a man levelheaded. It's documented."

Amy nodded again, but didn't speak.

"That's true," William said, turning to Amy again, "But I am sure there's a point where it becomes counter-productive, especially when you have torn up your hands, have blood dripping off your elbow, and still won't stop swinging."

"You've got the advantage of having the necessary callouses," John joked with William, as he kept his eyes on the screen.

"Noted. I guess if smacking baseballs for hours on end prevents you from losing your temper with a client, then your bloody hands were well worth it."

"I didn't feel angry at my client," John said, "Okay, here we go. Look at this one."

Photos of Amy running scrolled across the screen as the friends oohed and aahed at the scenery, the photography, and the beauty of Amy running through a forest. "Stunning, beautiful, gorgeous," they repeated over and over.

"Wow, John. These are amazing. You really are talented."

"Thanks Amy. I had fun doing this. Do you see anything you might use for your blog?"

"Are you kidding? I want to use a bunch of them!" Amy beamed, at John who returned her smile.

"Aww, you guys are so cute," Tracy said, "Oh my, look at that one! What a hottie."

John paused the photo of them kissing on the summit and Amy flushed with embarrassment, while John said, "I know, right? Our first kiss. Damn, look how good Amy looks here." Amy swatted his arm, pretending to be shy, but she loved the photo too.

"Wow, not many people have their first kiss documented with a stunning photo on top of a mountain," William pointed out.

"It's just a hill," Amy corrected. "And that's technically our second kiss that you are looking at," Amy said, but still beaming.

"Just a hill," John nodded with a smile, and then tapped the screen to continue the scrolling photos.

* * * * *

A fine meal of roasted chicken, drinks, and after dinner conversation finally led to Tracy yawning and William suggesting they be on their way.

"Do you want to share a cab with us?" Tracy offered.

Amy looked at John to see if she could gauge his expression, but found it unreadable. "I think I'll stay a little longer, if that's okay with you?"

John's smile said more than his words, which came out as, "That's more than okay with me."

And so the two couples said goodbye and Amy nestled up next to John on the couch to have another look at the photos. "I have a few I didn't show them. A few personal favorites."

"Ooooh, you better show me!"

John brought up a photo showing beads of sweat glistening on Amy's chest above her sports bra.

"Wow," Amy blushed. "If I didn't know that was me, I'd say that is a pretty hot picture."

"Knowing it is you makes the photo extra hot to me."

Amy turned her face to him, close enough to kiss, but he spoke instead. "I want to show you a few more. I've narrowed it down, but I want you to help me pick the ten best. Like these two, for example. Which do you prefer?"

"They're almost identical."

"Yes, but look at your foot here, the way you are up on you toe. I think it is a better photo of your leg, plus I like the sun beam in this one."

"Yes, you're right. I wouldn't have noticed that. You have a great eye for detail."

"I do have a great eye for beauty. These photos are absolutely stunning, you know that? I've already looked at you about a hundred times." John's brought his hand to Amy's face, his fingertips traced her jawline, and his lips met hers.

"John," she said, taking his hand in hers and examining the blisters, "What made you so angry this week? Did you get upset because of what happened to me?"

John diverted his eyes before answering, "Yes."

Amy remained quiet.

"Sorry Amy. I know this isn't about me, but ...yeah...I've had a harder time dealing with it than I expected. I've been pretty...extremely angry." He looked back at her with a sorrowful expression.

"No need to apologize. I know I come with a lot of baggage. I'm sorry to inflict that on you."

"Aww, don't say that Amy. That sounds like you've burdened me or something. It's not like that at all. I mean, yeah, it's had a really big effect on me, but you're the one that had to go through that experience. And I...I don't know how much it still bothers you. I also...well...we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

"No, no, I think we should. I've had a year to deal with what happened and you just learned about it, and... I'm okay talking about it."

John fidgeted in his seat before going on, "Four hours, Amy? That's been totally fucking with my head. I mean...I don't know what the average assault time is, but...fuck...four hours? It's been killing me."

Amy took her turn at squirming. "Do you want details?"

"No! I mean...no, I don't, I just...fuck Amy, I don't know."

"I skimmed over the actual rape. I thought it would be better not to go into details, but now I can see that not knowing could be even worse."

"Did he hurt you really bad? I mean physically? Did he hit you or..."

"I'm going to just tell you what happened, okay? I'd rather just get it out once, rather than have your imagination go crazy trying to fill in the details."

Amy backed up on the couch slightly, "After he stuffed the bandana in my mouth, he pushed me on to the bed and held me down and I wiggled and strained to get up, and he just laughed at me. His strength overpowered me and he kept laughing as I tried and tried to fight him. His laughter felt scary, not playful. Like a cat tossing around a mouse until the mouse wears himself out. I actually tried being still a few times, to muster up my strength, but it didn't work. Not being able to scream or yell or even speak drove me crazy. I tried, but couldn't make my voice loud enough, and the bandana made me gag. I had to breathe through my nose and ...I kept thinking if I could speak, I could talk him out of it, you know? Like I could reason with him, make him think of me as human. Being stifled felt... just horrible." Amy's eyes filled with tears and she took a drink of her water.

John stroked her arm and said, "You don't need to go on, Amy, I'm sorry. Let's just drop it, okay?"

"You apologize too much, John. This isn't your fault and it isn't my fault either. I just want to get it out in the open, okay?"

"Sure. Go on." John stiffened his jaw and straightened his back.

"So I guess that went on for about twenty minutes or so, and it seemed like foreplay to him? Seeing me squirm and feel powerless? Because he didn't do much except lie on top of me and grope me a little bit and inhibit me from getting up. Then he took his belt off." Amy took another swig of water. "And wrapped it around my wrists, followed by a little speech about how I could make it really easy or really hard on myself. He took his shirt and tied it to the belt and to my headboard."

John shook his head and closed his eyes, "Right on your own bed." It wasn't a question, just affirming the grim facts.

Amy nodded, staring at John's hand resting in her lap. She gently traced her finger over the blisters and he fought to relax his hand in spite of every muscle in his body tightening.

"Anyway, he basically just took my pants off and stuck it in. Sorry to be so crude, but that's just what happened. And yeah, it hurt, but ...that part not as much as you might think. I've learned since then that there is a spinal cord reaction that...anyway, I just kind of...checked out mentally, you know? Of course my eyes were closed and I just tried to ignore my body and imagine being somewhere else. Part of the time I had the ability to just ...mentally remove my mind from my body. I thought about this park I used to go to as a kid. This creek behind our house. My grandma's backyard. I thought about running. I prayed a lot, because...well...the thought crossed my mind that he might kill me. But he just ...basically humped me. And I remember thinking, 'how could he even enjoy this?' Then I thought it was over, but it wasn't."

"Okay, that's enough," John grimaced.

"Really? Because that's not all. I mean, almost, except...do you want me to stop for my benefit, or for yours?"

"Sorry Amy, it just seemed ...I don't want you to have to relive this experience."

"This isn't reliving it John. This is just telling what happened. I don't have any of the fear or emotions right now that I experienced when it happened. I'm not afraid right now. This is...okay, except I'm worried about how you're taking it."

"I'm okay, God Amy, I just...it's really hard to listen to."

"I know. I know. But you only have to hear it once, okay?"

"Okay," John intentionally relaxed.

"So he gets up and I am hoping he is just going to leave, but he leaves me strapped to the bed and goes looking in my kitchen for something to eat."

"You're fucking kidding me."

"I know, right? Well, I think I mentioned we both had been drinking, but ...anyway, he starts bitching me out about not having any food! While I'm nude and gagged and tied to the bed! Imagine how absurd. It scared me because he seemed really crazy. And the fact that he could just ...yell at me about not having anything good to eat seemed so ..."

"Like it was a normal day to him."

"Exactly. And that is when I got the sense that he had probably done this before. So he ate a bowl of cereal, drank some orange juice, then came back and raped me again. Unfortunately, this time went on for a lot longer. Same thing, though. I found I could mentally check out to some degree."

John had his head in his hands now, and Amy said, "Don't worry, It's almost over."

"God, Amy. Don't worry about me."

"Okay, he actually took a break and watched some TV."

John looked at her in amazement.

"Before he sodomized me."

John stood up abruptly, and started pacing around with his hands in his hair, muttering, "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"And that part really did hurt. A lot. I couldn't block it out, I just ...the pain felt... excruciating, I couldn't zone out. It lasted a long time and the pain lasted for days. Then he got dressed and left. Oh, he took his belt and his bandana, but by that time, I just whimpered on the bed wishing him away. I don't think I could have screamed at that point or put up any fight, I just wanted him gone. He took my phone so I couldn't call the police right, but I went to the window and as soon as I saw him exit the building, I ran to the next door neighbor's and banged on the door and woke them up. I called the police and went to the hospital...and..."

John paced across the floor in angst.

"That's it. I mean, the aftermath had to be dealt with, but at five in the morning on October 3^rd, he walked away and he raped another woman in December. They arrested him during the act, at her apartment."

John came back to the couched and hugged her too hard, then released her. "It's okay, John. I'm okay now," she said, stroking his hair.

"Why are you consoling me?" John emphasized the word 'me'.

"Because you're just now hearing this and I've ...dealt with it. I've been in therapy for over a year and Donald Moran is in prison, I didn't even have to testify thanks to DNA evidence. He'll be in prison for a long time."

John backed up and sat silently starring ahead.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"No. I've never been this angry before and I don't know what to do with myself."

Amy nodded, "When your hand heels, you can take me to the batting cages."

John managed a half grin.

"But for now, I'll settle for a hug."

His arms went around her again, gently this time, and Amy leaned back on the couch so that they were both stretched out in each other's arms. "Don't apologize, okay? I won't either."

"Okay."

They laid silently, gently caressing each other, Amy running her hand through John's hair, then kissing his face. John returned her kisses and pulled her closer, feeling the length of her body next to his. "Amy, I...I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, John."

"Well I feel like I do, but I'm kind of overcome with several different feelings right now."

"Anger and?"

"Lust. I'm sorry, I feel like such a pig, but your body feels really good and I don't want to offend you..."

Amy laughed, "I'm glad I turn you on. I don't want you to think of me as 'poor Amy the victim'."

"Oh, I'm very turned on by you, but conflicted..."

"I know, I know, don't worry about explaining. I feel so much better now that you know. I feel a lot safer, like if I don't react appropriately to something, at least you will understand why."

"I'm glad that you trusted me enough to tell me."

"I do trust you. But it's not just that."

John pulled his head back to look at her. Amy suddenly looked self-conscious.

"What is it, then?" he asked.

"Sex," she whispered. When John didn't say anything, she went on, "I had not been thinking about sex, not at all, until you licked my damn fingers on our first date."

John laughed, "I thought you couldn't stand me."

"I couldn't," Amy giggled, "you put a spell on me."

"You probably shouldn't have revealed your weakness for oral finger stimulation. Now I'm going to have a hard time keeping my mouth off of you."

"Then don't."

John looked into her expectant eyes and answered her pouty lips with his. He licked the underside of her tongue, then dipped back in to caress her tongue with his, as they swirled together slowly. He felt her hand come to the side of his face as he continued kissing her, then to his chin, then she brought the tip of her finger into his mouth. John sucked the tip gently, dragging his teeth along the skin while she kept her mouth right up to his, then she put the tip in her own mouth. The tip of her finger joined their kissing, a sensual guest that they both nibbled on and sucked intermittently, while kissing throughout. Their mouth had become a playground for lips, tongues, fingertip, and teeth, expressing tender passion for each other.

Hands explored curves and muscles, as their breathing deepened and a long muscular leg came up over John's hip. He pressed his groin into hers, his arousal undeniable. Then he pulled back.

"What's wrong?"

John shook his head, but didn't speak.

Amy's expression changed from playful passion to concern as she waited.

"I don't think I'm ready to do this Amy. My head is swimming right now."

Disappointment shadowed her face momentarily, then she put on an intentional cheerful smile and said, "It's Okay. I didn't mean to ..."

John pulled her in close and said, "Amy...I feel really close to you and really hit hard by what you shared with me. I don't want to mix it all up right now, if that makes sense. I can't let myself feel like I'm taking advantage of your vulnerability when you just opened up to me like that. I mean...I don't want to muddle physical intimacy with..."

"It's okay. I understand," Amy sat up on the couch. "Do you want me to leave?"

"What? God no. I mean, can't we just be together? I want you to stay. Will you stay, Amy?"

Amy smiled, looking relieved. "Sure. But you better not touch me below the waist. I'm like a time bomb, okay?"

John laughed, "Deal. Likewise. I mean, I'm not a time bomb, but I'm a guy, which is pretty much the same thing. Don't think for a second that you don't turn me on something fierce."

"Oh, I know I do," Amy gave a cocky little grin. "And we have plenty of time to find out how much, right?"

John nodded in agreement.

"So...can I sleep in one of your t-shirts then? You've already seen me in my underwear, so I know you can handle that."

John laughed, "And I'll even keep my underwear on tonight."

"What a gentleman," Amy teased, as they rose to get ready to bed.

When they settled in, John on his back and Amy resting her head on his shoulder, they talked and laughed for a long time, until Amy finally drifted off. It wasn't until her became certain of her being deeply asleep, that he allowed himself to cry.

* * * * *

John's Dreamy Dilemma

Brain: What are you doing?

Dick: Shhh, this doesn't concern you. Go back to sleep.

Brain: What? You can't do this! Get ahold of yourself, this is Amy!

Dick: I know. What an amazing ass. These tight little butt cheeks have been bumping into me all night.

Brain: Yeah, her hair smells really good too. Okay, knock it off before you wake her up.

Dick: Shhh. She feels amazing next to me.

Brain: Well back off before you wake her up! Come on, she's like...a wounded bird.

Dick: Ooooh, dude, she just grinded into me a little bit. Feel that? She wants me, I can tell.

Brain: She's sleeping! It could be involuntary. Come on, settle down.

Dick: Quit trying to spoil the party. I'm in a heavenly hot zone right now. Damn, I can feel the heat coming off her. I'm pretty sure she's responding to me. Whoa, she must've felt that.

Brain: Grandma's tits! Grandmas tits! Remember walking into the bathroom --

Dick: Give it up. That faded memory has no power over this hot ass pressing into me. Oh, she's definitely aware of my presence. I can feel the increased heat and ...oh hell yeah baby.

Brain: Just hold still, maybe she'll fall back asleep.

Dick: You control the hips, dumb ass. Besides, I don't even have to move. I'm practically throbbing, and....oh yeah...I she definitely wiggled into me. Dude, I can feel the heat right through these silky panties. Only a thin piece of silk separates me from heaven.