Runner Girl Ch. 12

I would like to thank Gaius Petronius for editing. Any mistakes are mine. There are 13 chapters in the story and it is complete. Votes, comments, and emails are appreciated. Thank you for reading! DB

*****

Amy looked around Anne's office, waiting for her therapist to return. Late afternoon in January, darkness was setting in, and the room was lit by only a table lamp on the desk. The walls were painted robin's egg blue. The painting of an ocean scene and the overstuffed couch had always been there, but she'd never paid attention to any of the other details of the office. How curious, she thought.

As Anne entered the room, Amy said, "I can't believe I never noticed that photo of your family behind your desk. Has it always been there?"

With a gentle laugh Anne replied, "No, I moved it from the desk where it used to face me, so it's no wonder it never struck your eye before."

"Yes, but your whole office seems different. I feel like I'm just now noticing the efforts you've put into creating such a peaceful setting."

Anne laughed again. "Well, my office hasn't changed much. But you sure have in the year I've known you."

"Hmm," Amy nodded and took a drink from her water bottle. "Fourteen months."

"That's right," Anne confirmed. "How did the holidays go?" Her eyebrows rose in expectation.

"I told them."

"You did?"

"I did."

"And?"

"What a huge relief, I can't even tell you. Now I'm not worried about them finding out, but what I didn't expect is that it drew us all closer," She paused and took another drink. "Everyone cried. Well, everyone except my dad. He got angry of course, but not at me, at the situation. Then everyone got really upset that I hadn't told them sooner. I had to do a lot of explaining about that. They couldn't seem to understand that I just didn't want to talk about it and that I was embarrassed and ashamed."

"Understandable - their reaction, I mean."

"Yes, I actually thought I was doing them a favor by not burdening them with such horrible news, especially after the fact, when they couldn't do anything about it anyway. But Molly - that's my older sister - Molly asked how I would feel if the tables were turned and the answer was immediately obvious: of course I would want to know!"

"Of course. And you would be very hurt if she didn't tell you."

"Yes. So I had some apologizing to do about that, but they weren't looking for an apology; they were just incredibly angry that I went through that experience and horribly sad that I felt I needed to handle it alone. So now my mom is calling me every day, and Molly and Erin have been calling me too. I think it's because they believe they let me drift away. They used to believe me when I kept saying how busy I was with my teaching job, but now they won't have it."

Anne nodded, and Amy went on, "But I really am busy!" She laughed. "I mean who talks to their mom every day?"

"Maybe that's something you just need to do for the time being, while she digests this news. Even if it's for just a minute or two each day, and eventually everyone will get back to a reasonable routine."

"Yes, I owe her that for sure. I do feel bad for her; she's pretty upset."

"Oh Amy, you don't need anything else to feel bad about. Let your mom just go through her process. Keep the lines of communication open and assure her you're doing alright. Okay?"

"Okay. I am doing alright."

"You've made incredible progress. In the time I've known you, you've come so far!"

"True. I'm able to have sex and not freak out. I told my family, I told Tracy. I'm feeling... better."

"But?"

"Well... I don't know. I can't say what, but I feel like I'm still missing something, like I'm not completely healed, but I'm not sure what else I need to do."

"Perhaps there is nothing more to do? Or when there is, it will reveal itself?"

"Yes, well, I did just want to believe that time would just pass and I would feel better, but I've really been feeling like there is some action I should take. Maybe I should try writing about it?"

Anne nodded, "I did suggest that in a previous session."

"You did, didn't you? But back then it seemed counterproductive, like I needed to just quit thinking about it and move on. But now I can see that I can write about it with a different perspective. I think I can write about... about getting over it."

"Yes, and it took time to gain hindsight on the experience." Anne wrote something on her notepad and changed subjects, "How did your family react to meeting John?"

Amy laughed, "Fantastic. He's really likable, you know. My sisters love him, my parents too. Well I mean my mom loves him, and my dad will warm up to him. But you want to know who really loves him? My sister's kids. Gosh, you should have seen him with them, Anne. He's like a big kid himself, and he had so much fun playing with them."

"Interesting. Has he ever talked to you about having kids?"

Amy blushed, suddenly embarrassed, "I can't believe you asked that. I thought it was way too soon for that discussion, but on the way home he asked me if I pictured myself raising kids in New York."

"And?"

"Well... I love New York and I absolutely love my job. But I... I don't know. I'm really surprised that he would consider leaving the city. I mean, his business is here."

"Well, how about you? How do you feel about kids and New York City?"

"Gosh. I didn't expect to be having this conversation so soon."

"Well, it's good to find out if you have similar goals, to imagine a life together."

"I can't imagine a life without him."

"And he knows that?"

"He does." Amy smiled and blushed again, surprised that discussing her feelings about John with her psychologist would embarrass her after all they'd discussed in previous sessions, but then she realized what she felt and blurted out, "I feel vulnerable. This is scary. Big. It's not just dating."

Anne nodded in agreement.

"Oh, and I didn't tell you about England."

"Oh yes, how did that go?"

"Amazing. It was so fun and wonderful. John indulged me and showed me all the touristy things, like Buckingham Palace and Westminster Abbey and Parliament and all that. We ran a lot, which I really loved. It's a fun way to see the city, I think. He also showed me some of his favorite more obscure places to go. But... there was this one thing. We had our first fight."

"What happened?"

"Well, this woman showed up at his flat. A pretty blonde, named Sarah. Did I tell you he owns an apartment in London? Anyway, someone kept banging on the door and John answered and Sarah came barging in, yelling about unanswered phone calls and changed locks, and then she sees me and stops dead in her tracks. She looked embarrassed for about ten seconds, then she turned all business-like and told John she understood. And then she scribbled something down on a card, handed it to him, and left."

"Do you know what she wrote?"

"Yes, she wrote, 'A proper good-bye requires a thoughtful parting gift. Do call Hannah at this number today.'"

"What does that mean, do you have any idea?"

"Well I didn't at that moment, but John just laughed about it and said that Hannah owns a posh clothing store."

"And so was this an ex-girlfriend or a call girl?"

Amy looked at Anne in shock, "Call girl? John doesn't have to pay for sex!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply... It just seems very forward to request a high-priced gift."

"John said she expects him to take her shopping every time he comes to London. He blamed himself for letting Sarah set the pattern."

"So she is an ex-girlfriend?"

"He wouldn't call her that, exactly. He kept saying she was just someone he used to see in London."

"Hmmm. Very different from the way he treats you. But changing the locks? Sounds like it was pretty serious."

"No. John's too generous. Sometime foolishly so. That is what our argument was about. He actually called the number and gave that Hannah person his credit card number!"

"Really? Why?"

"Well he said he wanted to finalize things and that it wasn't much money... But it was, Anne, it was a lot of money! But then he said something to Hannah that would embarrass Sarah. He said, "Please be sure to tell Sarah that the well has run dry and she will need to dig elsewhere from now on.'"

"That isn't that bad."

"I know, but he insists that Sarah will be humiliated and angry. I couldn't understand why he'd even pay her off like that when there are so many people in real need, but he told me he does a lot more for people in real need and that what he gave Sarah wasn't even worth mentioning. I complained that he just paid off some hussy with what was more than a month's salary for me and he said he'd gladly give me a year's salary if I'd let him! I was furious!"

Anne laughed. "Of course you were. And how did he react to your anger?"

"He was amused. That infuriates me too. I told him I love my job and I wasn't after his money and he just smiled and laughed and said that was one of the many things he loves about me."

Anne laughed and shook her head.

"What?"

"Amy, you don't need to worry about John and what he does with his money."

"But Anne, he is so wasteful! And that was the second time he paid someone off just because it was easier. First Keith, and now this Sarah women. I mean, I know it's his money, but... it just doesn't seem right."

Anne nodded, "I can see what you mean, but it sounds like he has the money and would rather spend his time and energy on more productive things than fighting with people over what he considers a trivial sum of money. I have a feeling if it were something big, he would put his foot down. After all, he is an astute businessman."

"Yes. Yes, I know. I just wish... I don't know, Anne. Sometimes I just don't know, I didn't expect my life to look like this. He's having a dinner party next week at his place. Twelve people and he's having it catered. It's a work thing. I just... I just never pictured that I would be the kind of person who goes to dinner parties like this. I don't even know what to wear. I'm kind of nervous about it."

"Well, Amy, just see how it goes. You might have a great time. Just try and keep an open mind. It's true, you may find that you're incompatible, but so far you have been wrong about him more than once. He's been good for you."

"He has."

"And it sounds like you're good for him."

"Well... I don't want his money. And I appreciate his photography. And his humor. He really was amazing around my family and the trip to London was phenomenal. I'm very lucky, Anne. Just feeling vulnerable."

"That's normal for any new love, Amy."

"Good," Amy laughed. "Yay! I'm normal!" She threw up her hands in cheer.

Anne laughed too. "Actually, I think you are an extraordinary young woman, Amy."

"Thanks, Anne. I'm feeling good these days. I'll be brave about the dinner party. John wants me there and I don't want any more Sarah types swooping in on him."

Anne laughed again and nodded in agreement and noted that their time was up.

*****

John gradually woke to the feeling of Amy's back pressed into him and her butt grinding into him as she rotated her hips. He rolled her, smoothly and gracefully, onto her back and crawled on top, his hardness pressing at her entrance. As she wrapped her legs around him, he entered her, coming into full wakefulness. "I love you," he whispered, becoming more and more alert each second. "I love you so much," he whispered again in her ear.

"Mmmm, I love you too," she whispered back, "I love waking up with you.."

Their bodies moved in unison, a slow dance that increased in tempo, as John touched foreheads with Amy and looked into her eyes. "I really love you," he said again, not that she needed convincing, but because it felt right saying it. He needed to say it, to keep saying it, for the feeling was too intense to keep inside. "I love you, Amy," he said again, and her eyes locked with his, as she plumbed the magnitude and depth of his feeling.

"I love you, John," she returned, barely able to speak, overcome with emotion and sensation that had become one and the same. She realized their lovemaking felt like a massage, each stroke a confirmation of emotion, the sensation heightened by the raw vulnerability of looking into each other's eyes.

"You feel amazing," John whispered, wishing to enjoy the feeling forever, but also aware that if he kept up the momentum, even at this controlled pace, orgasm was inevitable, like a train inching its way upward to the crest of a mountain. He didn't want to stop, unless she needed more time, but she was matching his thrusts from below and as if reading his mind, she gasped, "Don't stop."

And so he didn't. They were able to enjoy the slow ride to a simultaneous orgasm that left them both shuddering, and giggling with blissful satiety. "Oh wow," Amy spoke first. "I loved that. I love lazy Sunday morning sex with you."

"What?" John pretended to take offense, "You're calling me lazy? Why, I ought to -"

Amy squealed with laughter, "No, no, I didn't mean lazy! I meant relaxed! You know -"

John turned serious and said, "I do know. It was so natural, so easy, so, so, so fucking good."

"We're in agreement then," Amy giggled and ran her hand along the side of his face. "I really do love you. And I love making love with you."

"Agreed," John smiled down at her and then rolled over onto his side.

"What time are your guests coming over?"

"Five o'clock."

"And what should I wear?"

"Oh, it's casual. Anything would be fine - just be comfortable."

"Anything? You're having twelve people over and having it catered and telling me to be casual."

"Yeah, sure. You'll see. It's a completely casual group, couple of investors, a few construction guys. Oh, and William and Tracy."

"William and Tracy are coming?" Amy sat up, excited that she would know someone.

"Yeah, and Beverly, Tracy's grandmother."

"Oh, I'll call Tracy and see what she's wearing. Maybe that little black dress I wore in London."

"I love you in that dress. But I really don't think people will be dressed up, especially considering the guests. It's a really mixed bunch, I promise. I'll probably wear jeans and a nice shirt."

"With a white t-shirt underneath?" She grinned, reminding him of the effect the jeans and white t-shirt combination had on her.

"For you, yes. And you can skip the panties for me," he teased and Amy wrinkled her nose.

"I think I'd be too self-conscious to do that tonight. Hey, I'm going to have to go home for a while and do some grading. I'll go for a run too, then get ready over hear at about four o'clock?"

"Oh, do you have to go? Can't you just grade essays here and hang out with me? Run on the treadmill?"

"But Freddy! My poor kitty is so neglected!"

John thought for a second and said, "You can bring him here, you know. Let him stay. Then you won't have to always go home and check on him."

"Did you just ask my cat to move in with you?"

"Yep. Run it by Freddy. Let him know my offer. Tell him I have more space and I serve premium cat food."

"You're so weird," Amy said. "Propositioning my cat."

"Only because you've made it clear you won't move in with me. This way you'd have to stay here more. I'd use Freddy for leverage."

Amy rose out of bed and got dressed as she continued to shake her head at his silliness. "I'm going to find out what Tracy's wearing, but I can almost already predict it will be a cute retro dress. And her grandmother will be dressed like a senior super-model, and you and William will both be as dapper as hell. That clinches it: I'm wearing the black cocktail dress."

"No panties?"

Amy shook her head and rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

"Do you have time to eat breakfast with me, Runner Girl?"

"Can it be a quickie? Bagels?"

"Sure. We're going to have an amazing dinner. You're going to like Leah and Kyle. They're a married couple who cook for me when I have dinner parties. Tonight will be Mediterranean food."

"Finger-licking hummus?"

"You bet."

*****

Amy sipped her drink and looked around John's living room at the mixed crowd, wishing she'd asked more questions, not about what to wear, but about the project John was working on. She felt attractive and comfortable in her black dress, but if it were a contest, the prize for "best dressed" would go, hands down, to the elegant Beverly Wilcox, with her granddaughter, the stylish Tracy, topping the field in the "most creative" category.

She hadn't expected to see Alicia and Ray, John's friends whom she'd met at the shelter on Thanksgiving Day, but then she remembered that they mentioned a project they were working on with John. They were both warm and affable, but Amy grew self-conscious as she came to realize that everyone assumed she knew the nature of the project they were working on. She hadn't felt quite that way since fifth grade, when she'd contracted strep throat and missed the first week of school. She blamed herself, feeling self-centered, recalling that the only questions she'd asked were superficial ones about how to dress.

The only suit in the crowd adorned John's business associate, Herman. Amy was tickled to see the distinguished Englishman shamelessly lavish attention on Beverly Wilcox. There were two men each dressed in blue jeans with a nice shirt; these were Don and Lenny, who seemed to know each other very well. They looked like an odd pair, Lenny being tall and thin with a beard and ponytail, Don with short grey hair and a stout build. Both men seemed to know Ray well; Don joked with him, smacked him on the back from time to time, and referred to him as "Kid.".

Amy wandered over to Tracy and William, and engaged them with questions about their wedding plans. It soon became obvious that the ceremony was more William's domain than Tracy's. "It's because of my work," Tracy explained. "I spend way too much time talking to brides trying to create the 'perfect day' and it's such a money-making racket! I'm actually way more excited about the honeymoon. We're keeping the wedding small and intimate and I'm leaving the details up to William."

Amy looked at William in surprise and he shrugged. "But what about flowers? Surely you've always thought about what flowers you'd have at your own wedding?"

"Nope. I've given complete control of the flowers to my former boss, Pierre. Told him, 'Have at it.' The last thing I want to think about is flowers for my own wedding!"

"Wow," Amy shook her head in dismay. "So many things are not how I expected."

"I agree," William said. "I never expected to plan a wedding, or to attend a dinner party at John's with such an eclectic guest list."

"I know," Amy whispered. "What's up with that?"

William nodded to John, who seemed about to make a toast, but instead John said, "Hey, we're about to go over the blueprints, so join around the table if you're interested. If not, carry on."

Amy placed her plate of appetizers on the bar and walked over to join the crowd gathered around the table, while William and Tracy hung back in conversation with Alicia. A gentleman whom Amy had not yet met was talking. "With both plans, we have a large common room and kitchen, but as you can see, with plan A we have individual rooms that are very small, and plan B has larger rooms that are shared."

"Plan A, definitely." It was Ray who spoke up. "It's important that the guys have their own space."

"But look how small they are," Don said. "A guy can barely turn around in there, almost like a prison cell. Maybe we oughta give 'em the option of sharin' a bigger room?" Don asked.

Everyone looked at Ray, which surprised Amy, since he was obviously the youngest man in the group. "But they aren't prison cells, Don. The guys get to come and go as they please, but more important, they get a good night's sleep and a place to lock up their possessions while they're out working or looking for work. It's better if they don't hang out in their rooms all the time anyway. They can hang out here," He pointed on a blueprint to a room marked "Main Room." "Or here or here," Ray said pointing to the areas marked "Media Center" and "Kitchen." "They should be interacting, socializing, looking for work. Not hanging out in those rooms. Those are for sleeping and storing personal belongings, not isolating or being high or whatever."