Running with Wolves Ch. 14

For the rest of the night, Garrett slept soundly against Flint's chest. It was an amazing feeling, having the most important person in his life so close. Flint's wolf was content to watch the way his blond head rose and fell with each of their breaths. There could be nothing more peaceful in the world than this.

Samantha stirred on the other bed, her tiny baby tugging her hair until she woke up enough to pull the strands away. She grumbled as she pulled herself into a sitting position, picking up the infant and sniffing her bottom. "Dominic needs to hurry the hell up and get his ass back here."

Flint chuckled. "Why is that?"

Rummaging under the bed, the tired mother produced a fresh diaper, a package of wipes, and a cute onesie with a duck on the butt. "'Cause he usually gets up before me and takes care of this little bundle of trouble. Unlike her mommy, she has something against sleeping in and using toilets." Her words were spoken in that lovey-dovey voice mothers used when talking mean to their children but didn't mean it. She continued talking sweet to her baby as she took off her soiled diaper and cleaned her up, wrapping the new diaper snuggly around her hips and slipping her squirmy limbs into the little blue outfit.

With her baby now clean, Samantha gathered the dirty diaper and Penny. She hesitated at the door, turning to look at the two on the bed. "I'm not trying to be pushy, Flint. Your relationship with Garrett is yours to do with as you see fit, and there are a lot of issues that will come up when your relationship comes out, but I've known Garrett for a while now. Longer than I've known the others, even. Please tell him, give him a chance to make the decision on his own. Be honest and he will understand."

Flint looked at Samantha with wide eyes, a bit surprised from her forwardness. It was like she could sense his hesitation, his doubt. He had only gotten a couple hours of sleep before waking up again, his thoughts spinning back and forth over all the pros and cons of telling Garrett the truth.

This life was already dangerous for Garrett with him being openly gay, but being human he wouldn't feel the ridicule as strongly as if he were a wolf. A wolf being actively shunned by their pack was damaging. Flint could attest to it, having been shunned by most for his weakness. Was it worth putting Garrett in danger both physically and mentally, just so that he could have his mate?

Looking down at the sleeping male, Flint thought about if their situations were reversed. Samantha had a point. Whatever the situation, he would want to at least have the opportunity to choose.

Flint turned to face Samantha, nodding in agreement. She smiled sweetly at him and left the room, humming a tune under her breath.

Once the door clicked shut, Flint began trying to figure out what he was going to say to Garrett once he woke up. It was only six in the morning, so he had an hour or two to-

Without warning, Garrett groaned and began to move. His hand came up to his face, the back rubbing at his eyes like a little kid while he yawned big. He took a while to wake up enough to realize where he was, or at least what he was using as a pillow.

His eyes first locked on the nipple that was close to his face and then traveled up. He lifted his head slightly and finally Garrett's grey eyes met Flint's hazel. They stared at one another without saying a word. Slowly, over the course of a few seconds, Garrett's face bloomed into a sea of red, from his nose to his neck. Flint couldn't help but think it was the most adorable thing he had ever witnessed.

Then the panic set in. Garrett was awake! Completely awake! He wasn't supposed to be up for at least another hour. Flint needed that time to figure out what he was going to say to him, how he was going to confess. Now that he was awake, Flint had no idea what he was going to do. His wolf was in the back of his mind, urging him to be direct and say something, but Flint pushed him back in an attempt to play it cool.

"Good morning." Flint whispered.

"Morning." Garrett broke eye contact, looking down to take in how he was half way on top of Flint with his right leg securely hooked onto Flint's left. He looked back up, the blush growing deeper. For some reason, that blush was doing wonderfully embarrassing things to Flint's body that he had no way of hiding it in his current position.

Frazzled and panicked, Flint blurted out the first thing his wolf was urging him to say. "You're my Destined."

Garrett froze, his breathing stopping short.

The panic rose faster. Why wasn't he saying anything?! Maybe he was disgusted? Stunned? Appalled? Flint began to freak out for real, his words rushing out before Garrett could pull himself together. "Luna created the bond I didn't mean for it to happen I just felt it when I was transforming. I think it was the last piece I needed to transform. So I guess in a way you saved me."

"Flint-"

"I'm really grateful for that. I would have told you sooner but I wanted to get some things figured out first. I wasn't even really sure I was going to tell you until last night. Samantha said I should tell you but I think that was a bad idea."

"Flint-"

"And I'm really sorry because I'm freaking out and I keep getting an erection every time you get really close or touch me and it's really embarrassing and you probably think I'm disgusting or something. I completely understand if you don't want to be my mate-"

Flint half gasped, half shrieked as Garrett grabbed his face and firmly planted his warm lips onto his, effectively cutting off the verbal vomit that was spewing from his mouth. He pulled back quickly, leaving a stunned werewolf to stare at him in complete shock.

Garrett looked down on him, his grey eyes bright and determined. "Shut up and let me talk for a second." Flint nodded quickly, his pulse thundering in his ears.

They stayed in silent for a moment, Garrett gathering his thoughts. "You said we are Destined? Like Dominic and Misty?"

Flint nodded.

"Which means we are supposedly meant to be together?"

Flint nodded again.

"You found out a couple days ago? When you shifted in the woods?"

More nodding.

Garrett went quiet again. He seemed to have forgotten he was still lying on top of Flint, but he didn't mind. Garrett was probably going to refuse to let Flint touch him again, so the longer this moment lasted the better.

Garrett's mouth became a sultry smirk. "You get an erection every time I touch you?"

The blush that heated Flint's cheeks made it impossible to lie. "Not a full one. You climbed on top of me last night: it was hard not to be affected."

Garrett chuckled under his breath, his own blush coming back a bit. Then a frown crossed his face. "Are you sure about this, Flint? I mean, I've thought I might be feeling something like what Ben and Dominic were feeling, but you haven't exactly been forward like the others."

"That's because my wolf is adjusting to so much at once, he can't focus long enough to outweigh my fear." Flint reached up and stroked the side of Garrett's face. "The moment I accepted who I was, I knew what you were to me. It saved me, and ever since then all I want to do is be near you, touch you," his eyes dropped slightly, "kiss you. I know we are meant to be with one another, but..."

"But what?"

Flint's expression fell. "It is too dangerous for me to publicly claim you as my mate, at least for right now. If I were to claim you, you would be in so much danger."

Garrett rested back onto Flint's chest, his hand flat over Flint's pec and chin resting on top. "I'm not unfamiliar with animosity towards me because of my sexual orientation. I can take whatever your people can dish out."

Flint shook his head. "You don't understand. They have already pushed out two others like me. My friend, Blue Jay, almost didn't survive."

Garrett's eyes widened slightly. "They tried to kill him?"

Flint shook his head. "Not exactly: Werewolves are social creatures; we need a pack. When that pack turns on us, it is excruciating to our inner wolves. Most decide to leave than face the hatred and distrust of their family and former friends. It will be worse for us, because we are Destined Mates. They will fear us for what we mean and represent. They may attempt to make it physical."

Garrett snorted, seemingly unimpressed. "I can take it."

"You don't know that." Flint felt a shiver of fear run down his spine, images of what Blue Jay looked like before he left for the city filling his mind.

Garrett's eyes took on a faraway look. He pulled himself out of it and gave Flint a firm expression. "I've been through far worse than anything your pack could ever put me through. Whatever they dish out will be nothing in comparison."

"I doubt that." Flint locked eyes with his bed companion, sure of what he knew. "I cannot risk you being hurt, no matter what you say. You don't know how cruel werewolves can be when they feel threatened, and we will most definitely be a threat to them."

"So... what? Are we going to be sneaking around, hiding the fact that I am your Destined?" Garrett seemed truly upset by the idea, but Flint couldn't see any other way around it.

"I need to keep you safe, by any means. There is nothing more important to me than that, not even publicly recognizing you as my mate to the pack."

Garrett looked flabbergasted. Flint had hoped he would be more understanding of the situation, but Garrett did not know Were culture. He couldn't possibly understand the gravity of what was going to happen.

It took some time for Garrett to pull himself together. He looked away from Flint, seeming to be contemplating something, before he finally began to speak. "When I was young, about 13, I fell in love with a boy from my neighborhood." His voice was quiet, wistful as he became immersed in the memory. Flint tilted his head, holding back his wolf's jealousy in order to hear the message in Garrett's words. He was telling him this story for a reason. "His name was Dave, and he was one of the most beautiful people I have even come across. He had these huge, dark brown eyes and black hair, and he had this adorable habit of mixing up is English and his Filipino, because he had to switch at home all the time." The light in Garrett's eyes told of happy memories.

"He and I were sitting on my back porch one day. Mom and Dad went in to town and he had come over to hang out. I confessed to him, all bashful and mumbling. He smiled so big and laughed, saying he was glad I confessed first because he didn't know if he would've ever had the courage. You can't imagine the joy I felt in that moment when I heard him say those words to me. I haven't felt anything like it since. We were young, so our relationship didn't change that much as we started "dating". We had been friends a long time, so him coming over wasn't that unusual to our parents.

"About a month later, during my 13th birthday, he took me out back and gave me my birthday present privately. I remember he was embarrassed, and didn't want the other kids of the parents to see. He had tried to make this fancy bow on the top and it just looked a mess, but I knew that whatever was inside had to be special.

"When I opened the box, I found this string bracelet inside. It had my initials, and his, with a heart in-between. He told me it was a promise bracelet. He promised me that one day we would get married and have kids and own a giant farm even bigger than both of our parents combined. I'm pretty sure he got the idea from watching his older sister being proposed to, but I didn't care. I was so happy that he loved me that much and that I loved him too. I kissed him, right there behind our big tree so that no one in the house could see.

"We weren't paying attention, didn't notice my nosey old neighbor watching us from between his blinds. The happiest moment of my life was kissing the boy I loved for the first time, and it would turn out to be my greatest mistake." The wistfulness left Garrett's voice and was replaced with pain.

"You see, Dave and I lived in a really religious community, and both our parents were border line zealots. When the old man told the church about us, our parents freaked. The entire community was in an uproar with the news shared during the Sunday sermon. Our pastor was convinced we were possessed, or worshipers of the devil or some shit. Everyone banded together to protect their precious way of life against the sick, unholy children.

"My parents begged me to plead forgiveness and find God again. I refused to buy into their words, fighting for months against their pleading to deny who I was, who I loved. When it became clear neither myself of Dave would change, the pastor convinced our parents we needed "special" help." A dark look crossed into Garrett's eyes. "He took us both up to this church run ranch, some "pray-the-gay-away" facility miles away from any kind of civilization. It was hell on earth for us both."

Flint gulped, fearing where this story was going. "What happened?"

Garrett rolled off Flint's chest, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. "They made us all dress the same in browns and dark blues, gave us jobs that were considered "masculine" and worked us from dawn to dusk. Once we were exhausted, they screamed scripture at us, shamed us for who we were, and did anything else they could think of to get us to "revoke the devil and find salvation in the hands of the Lord". I grew up on a farm, so I was strong and hard headed enough to stand my ground. I fought back. For the most part I was trying to protect Dave, but I was also doing it because I knew if they broke me, they would win and I couldn't stand the thought.

"One of our instructors took special interest in me. He saw me as a challenge and strove to break me. When their verbal and therapeutic methods didn't work, he started using harsher tactics. He would strip me naked and pour cold water on me while I stood in a pit. Once he made me run for miles until I collapsed from exhaustion and dehydration, but I still wouldn't break.

"After two months of fighting back, I was still far from giving in. The harder they tried to break me, the more resolve I gained to stand my ground. It pissed the instructor off. He wasn't used to his tactics not working. So he did the last thing he could possibly think of to get us to break. He knew how I felt about Dave, and figure he could use it against me. I have no idea what he was thinking. I think he was just a sick bastard who got off hurting young boys." Garrett paused, his voice coming out much quieter as he told the next part of his story.

"He came, in the middle of the night, and dragged us out of bed to take us to this horse barn out behind the main building. It was far enough away that any noise we might have made wouldn't draw attention. He locked us in a stall and tied us up. After that he..." Garrett choked off, his eyes closing tight in remembered agony. He took in a deep breath and opened them again, glossed over in unshed tears. "When he was finished, we were both in so much pain, but Dave was in the worse shape. He was a gentle soul, and having that done to him shattered his spirit beyond repair. It very nearly broke me to see him that way, which had been the point."

Flint didn't know what to say. He imagined a young Garrett, smiling and full of life, tortured by a man who should have been torn apart by wolves for his crimes. It broke his heart to know something like that had happened to his mate. "I'm so sorry."

Garrett sniffed and rubbed his eyes. He was still trying to hold in his tears. "It's fine. It happened a long time ago." He was trying to be brave, but Flint knew he had to be in so much pain. "You need to know this. You need to understand."

Flint didn't want to continue putting Garrett through the pain of telling the story, but he continued on before Flint could say anything.

"He kept us locked in the stall for few days, coming to us periodically to keep us in constant pain. We were finally let out of the stables after three days and back into the main house. No one said anything but it was obvious they knew. All of the instructors knew and they did nothing." Garrett was suddenly sitting up and sliding off the bed. He paced the room, anger permeating his scent. "We tried to run after that, but that only made things worse for us both. Dave became non-responsive; I was beginning to crack. It all just came down on us so hard that soon the only way we could think of to escape that place was to kill ourselves."

The pained noise that escaped Flint made Garrett smile sadly as he continued, sitting on the side of the bed next to Flint. "I pretended to sprain my ankle and swiped some meds from the room we used as a clinic. We crushed them up that night and washed it down with a bottle of liquor one of the other boys had taken from the ranch owner's office. It was slow, but a gentle and clean way to go."

"But," Flint spoke up hesitantly, "it didn't work."

Garrett shook his head. "No, it didn't. They found out what we were doing from one of the other boys and got to us before the overdose could kill us. They kept us alive until they could put in an ambulance and ship off to the nearest hospital for treatment.

"After I came to again, I could hear the instructors talking to the doctors. They were describing us as problem children, saying how we had been misbehaving and that our fun had gone too far. Later that night we listened while they thought we were asleep, to them talk about how they needed to do something more drastic to break us. They had a reputation to keep up; two boys not being rehabilitated wasn't going to go over well with their investors who believed they had a 100% success rate."

Flint shuddered, not even wanting to imagine what kind of tactics they would have stooped to in order to break Garrett and Dave. "What did you do?"

A dark cloud passed over Garrett's eyes. His voice was hollow as he spoke. "We both knew what was to come would be more horrific than what we had already gone through, and they would be on high alert since we had already tried to end our lives once. Dave knew we only had one more chance to finish it, and it had to be then. I slipped out of my restraints and went to him on his bed. He was so pale, and shaking from the fear we were both feeling. He asked me to do it. To end his pain before they could inflict more on him."

Flint gasped, a memory coming back to him. "When I was going rogue, you told me to hang on, because you didn't want to have to take another life. That means you..."

Garrett nodded. "I told him I would end it for him, if he wanted. I loved him enough that I would end his suffering even at the cost of mine. I took his I.V. bag and emptied it, filled it with air, then reattached it to the tube in his arm and forced the air directly into his bloodstream."

Flint was frozen, not knowing what to do or say. His mate had just admitted to killing someone. Even under the circumstances they were in, that was still a heavy thing to do. "What happened after that?"

Garrett shrugged. "When Dave's heart stopped, mine did too, but I refused to be taken in by those bastards. After everything we had fought for, everything we had been put through, letting them take me was like letting them win. I snuck out while everyone was focused on Dave and ran as far and as fast as I could.

"I ended up on the streets panhandling, stealing, scamming, and eventually prostituting myself in order to survive. I wasn't really alive most of the time; the drugs kept me pretty numb, but I still had the urge to read. Dave and I loved to read together, and so reading made me feel close to him. For the most part I read medical stuff, in part because it was good to know the signs of someone being sick or how to treat wounds. High people have a tendency to do stupid stuff and getting themselves hurt. I lived that life for a long time, till just after I turned 21."