Samantha's Secret Ch. 02: Awakened Desire

It had been a couple of days since I had the dream about Josh. It was hard for me to believe I would ever think of him that way. I did some research online about dream interpretations; all the details of it all saying the same thing that I wanted something more in my life. I realized I wanted sex.

I tried to forget about the dream with Josh but I couldn't stop thinking about him.

My husband, David, returned home from his work trip that week. I looked at him and felt like I was looking at a stranger. He's not a bad man, he's a good provider. But lately we lost something in our relationship. We have been married for 15 years and have two kids together. But not once, did I ever look at another man. We were both very Christian in our beliefs, so even thinking about someone else made me feel guilty.

After dinner, while the kids were in the other room watching television, I called him into the kitchen.

I kissed him softly.

"Hey, you. I missed you." I said sweetly.

"I missed you to." He said casually

I leaned in and whispered in his ear. "I really missed you."

He looked at me strange.

I admit we were never big on showing affection in public and sex was usually planned in advance but then it was usually uneventful. I couldn't remember the last time he initiated. I thought maybe he needed a little push.

"That's good to know." He said.

My hands cupped his crotch. I felt him jump with a surprised reaction.

"I really, really missed you." I said seductively.

"Oh.."

He understood what I was saying.

"Well, I..uh..maybe we can do something about that this weekend." He said.

There was no way that was going to happen. There was too much going on with the kids and we had Josh's graduation party.

"What's wrong with now?" I asked him

"Now?" he whispered "I'm a little tired form my flight..and the kids.."

I unzipped his slacks and pulled his cock out.

"Samantha, what are you doing?" he said as I knelt down.

"Showing you how much I missed you." I said

I was stroking his cock but nothing was happening. It was limp in my hand.

I looked up at him.

"Honey, I don't know about this.." he said nervously

I took his cock in my mouth and began to suck in softly. His whole body jumped as he moaned cautiously not to be too loud.

"Oh..Samantha.."

I kept sucking, bobbing my head taking his whole cock in but nothing was happening. His cock remained limp. I tried rolling it in my mouth with my tongue.

Suddenly, David stopped me and quickly zipped up his pants.

"What's wrong with you?" he said sternly

"I-I just wanted to show you how much I missed you." I said sadly

"Here? In the kitchen?"

"I thought it would be...sexy. We haven't done it in a while and.."

"We just can't do things like this. Not with the kids around." He said as he quickly left.

I was alone in the kitchen, still on my knees.

I started thinking about when I was that awkward teen in high school with the braces and the undeveloped body. How the boys never looked at me. How they didn't want me. It felt that way now.

That night we laid in bed with our backs to each other. His snoring made it hard for me to fall asleep. I kept thinking about earlier, how my own husband didn't want me. How he just walked away; I couldn't even make him hard.

Being rejected is a painful feeling, especially from your husband.

***

The next day was Josh's graduation party. I got to Angie's house early to help her set up. There were a lot of people who showed up, a lot of his classmates, relatives and such.

Angie and I were in the kitchen. I was replenishing the veggie tray, she was making her homemade hummus.

"You had his cock in your mouth and nothing?" Angie asked opening cans of chick peas.

"Nope, no signs of life what so ever." I said in frustration. "Maybe he has erectile dysfunction."

"Do you think maybe David is cheating on you?" she asked.

I never thought about that.

"How could he? He's never home." I said.

"Maybe with someone from work, or someone he met while out of town?"

That rejected feeling started to come back.

"Maybe he's just working too hard." I said defensively.

"Yeah," Angie said unconvinced "maybe that's it."

She clicked on the blender and we left it at that.

As I was cutting celery, I could see Josh outside in the back yard. He was with a pretty young blonde girl dressed in a small mini skirt and tank top. They had been together all day, laughing, talking. She rarely left his side. She was a giggly little girl. I hated her.

I started wondering if that was the kind of girl he liked; Blonde, long legs, perky breasts, young. Things I couldn't compare to. I was 40, married with kids and let's face it, I looked like it.. My breasts were average but gravity was beginning to have its effects on me. I was even dressed like a Mom in my frumpy jeans and button down blouse.

I suddenly felt like that awkward teen aged girl again. The one the boys used to make fun of for not having any tits. The one they said looked like a little boy.

"Does Josh have a new girlfriend?" I asked.

"I think so." Angie said pouring hummus into a bowl. "She's been around for a couple weeks now. Her name is Katie."

Katie. Even her name was cute.

"I think she was a cheerleader or a pom-pon girl. I never understood the difference." Angie said.

I really hated Katie.

"If I remember correctly from when we were in high school; they were both acceptable sluts." Angie said refilling the blender. "I think the pom-pon girls were more acrobatic sluts."

"Do you think Josh is sexually active?" I couldn't believe I ask that.

"I'm assuming he is. He's a good looking kind and young men are full of extra energy."

I suddenly remembered my dream.

"With all the girls he's dated, he has to be doing something."

"Well, he's an adult now and I can't stop him from sleeping around. I just hope he is safe and doesn't get some girl pregnant." Angie said, clicking on the blender again

As I looked at him trough the window, I imagined pulling him into his bedroom and riding him until I came all over his young cock. I would let him cum inside me.

He couldn't get me pregnant.

"Did you say something?" Angie said clicking off the blender.

My eyes widened, did I just blurt that out loud?

"I said, I'm sure he's smart enough not to get a girl pregnant."

"Yeah, you're right." Angie said, pouring out the hummus

I suddenly realized I had been cutting the same stalk of celery for several minutes.

I threw the pieces on the tray and walked out of the kitchen.

***

The party was going well. People were eating, having a good time.

Josh was walking around talking to people, his little girlfriend by his side, giggling. It seems silly thinking about it now, but I was completely jealous of Katie. She was a lucky girl.

I noticed David sitting talking with Angie's husband, probably about sports.

I felt so alone.

The party went on well into the evening. David eventually gathered the kids and went home. Angie opened up a bottle of Merlot and we sat at the picnic table back by the bushes watching the guests. Katie had left and Josh was looking tired.

Angie got up to say goodbye to some relatives when Josh sat next to me at the picnic table, he had a giant plate of food.

"Hey Sam" he said.

"Hey Kiddo" I replied.

"Oh man," he said exhausted "what a long day."

I felt my heart begin to flutter in my chest as I nervously brushed my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, you certainly are a good host." I sounded so stupid.

"There were a lot of people here today." He said eating his dinner.

I sat there trying to act casual. He looked really nice in his polo shirt and shorts. He had on some sweet smelling cologne, it was very sexy. I took a long sip of my wine, trying not to look at him. I wanted to keep talking to him but I didn't know what to say. I suddenly realized I was acting like a teenager girl trying to talk to her school crush.

"So," I said, turning the stem of my glass "who's your little girlfriend?"

Jesus, Samantha you couldn't think of anything else to ask?

"Katie? Oh she's not my girlfriend. We're just friends." He said.

My heart jumped again, this time with a feeling of relief.

"I think she wants to be my girlfriend, but I don't know. I'm not really interested."

Okay, Samantha. Try and be calm.

"Why not? She's a cute girl."

I didn't want to promote Kate; but I thought if a pretty girl like her didn't peak his interest, what did? I really wanted to know.

"I don't know; She's very immature."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, she's always giggling at everything. She acts so silly sometimes. That's the problem with the girls my age, I want someone who acts a little more grown up."

"Well, you are young. You should be having fun right now with these girls."

Oh for God's sake Samantha, shut up.

"Well, I try. I mean, I date these girl but honestly some of them want to do other things."

I swallowed my wine with a loud gulp.

"W-what do you mean, kiddo?" I said trying not to choke.

He looked at me and began to blush.

"You know..some of the girl want to have sex. But I'm not comfortable with that."

"Not comfortable?"

It suddenly dawned on to me that Josh was still a virgin. I felt a warm sensation beginning to build down below.

"Wh-why not? I mean, unless you're uncomfortable talking about this." I said.

"No, it's fine. I know I can always talk to you, Sam." He said. "I feel comfortable around you."

That's a good sign.

"It's not that I don't like girls," He said (Thank God) "but some of the girls my age don't look at it the way I do. I want to do it, but I want it to mean something. Not just some conquest or something to do because the other kids are doing it."

I can't begin to tell you how wet that made me.

We sat there together; Josh eating his dinner, me drinking my wine.

I couldn't believe what he told me. I began thinking how a handsome young man was waiting for something meaningful, someone mature. It really excited me thinking about it. How much I wanted him. They say boys never forget their first time, and I wanted to be the one he would always remember.

But how could I tell him? I couldn't be like Mrs. Robinson in that movie, where she stripped down naked and offered herself up to him.

I don't know; would that work?

No, he would probably freak out, I would be embarrassed and then things would be weird between us; then worst of all, I couldn't handle more rejection. And what if Angie found out?

There were so many emotions running through me. I was so confused on what I should do that I didn't notice that I subconsciously reached over and placed my hand on Josh's crotch.

"Sam?" he asked quietly.

I looked over at him. He stopped eating and sat completely still hunched over his plate very surprised. I suddenly realized what I had done.

"I'm so sorry." I gasped. I felt so stupid and embarrassed. I started to pull my hand away when Josh reached under the table and stopped me. His hand felt strong in mine.

He looked at me then we both looked around. People were off in their own discussions; Angie was talking to some friends.

"What was that about?" He asked still holding my hand.

"I'm so sorry, kiddo." I said scared "I-I don't know what came over me."

"Why did you do that?"

"I-I don't know." I could feel tears begin to well up. " I...I've been...well thinking..about you lately and...I mean, you're great kid and all...I.."

"Thinking about me how?" he asked cautiously.

I cleared my throat, my hand begin to tremble.

"In ways I shouldn't be." I confessed. "Look, let's just pretend this didn't happen.."

I suddenly felt him place my hand back on his crotch; I could feel his erection through his shorts.

I quickly raised my glass and took a huge drink.

I gently began to rub his cock. He looked around again and pretended to keep eating.

"I can't believe you're doing this, Sam."

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked quietly.

"No." he said

I gave a nervous sigh of relief.

I reached under his shorts and felt his throbbing cock. I was thick as I imagined. My hand ran up and down his shaft while my thumb would caress the tip.

I licked my lips while I crossed my legs feeling my pussy being stimulated.

"Sam, I have to tell you something." He whispered

"What, kiddo?"

"I've thought about you too. A few times...while I was doing this."

I felt a tear run down my cheek as I smiled. I began stroking him harder.

I suddenly felt his body tense up.

"Oh my God" he gasped quietly.

"Shh" I said. "Relax."

I felt him squirt into my hand. Some had seeped through his shorts.

I took my hand out and saw streams of sperm on my hands and fingertips.

He handed me his napkin. I wiped my hand and looked into his eyes. We stared at each other for a few seconds; then I took one last glance around, looked at him again in his eyes and sucked his seed off my fingertips like I was licking frosting off a cake. It was warm and salty.

He laughed in astonishment.

We sat there quietly, looking around the yard at the guests. I saw Angie turn around and start walking back to the table. Her wine glass was empty.

I held my glass up to my lips and whispered "You better go upstairs and change."

Josh nodded. He started to move but I stopped him.

"Text me later." I said.

He nodded again and quickly moved inside the house.

Angie poured herself another glass of Merlot.

"God, now I have to clean up this mess." She said.

"Oh, well let me help." I said cheerfully.

***

We put the food away and cleaned the dishes. Josh put on a pair of sweatpants and helped his dad to put away the chairs and tables. I saw him through the kitchen window, he smiled at me.

Angie drove me home. We made plans to go catch a movie the next week.

Inside I was feeling anxious. I was thinking about Josh.

He said he had thought of me too.

I had thought about being that awkward girl in high school, now I was a woman desired by a younger man. A good looking young man even. It was flattering.

I walked into the house and David was asleep on the couch. The television was still on.

I walked into the kitchen, set my purse on the counter and took my cell phone out.

Again, I felt like a girl crushing on a boy as I waited for a message on my phone.

I started making some tea. I could hear David snoring in the living room.

I began to drink my tea when my phone buzzed.

There was a new message.

I shrieked a little as I picked it up. I was so excited but I suddenly realized it wasn't the text I was expecting.

It read:

New Message: Angie.

I opened it quickly. I was furious at what I read.

Angie: David told my husband about your encounter in the kitchen last night.

He said David started off like he was bragging but said you weren't any good.

Sorry, babe.

That bastard.

I was furious. I was so angry that I wanted to go in the living room and throw my phone at him. How could he do something like that bragging about what we did like a guy in a locker room and then have the nerve to say I wasn't any good!? WHEN HE COULDN'T GET IT UP!?

I bet he blamed me for not exciting him. I grabbed my phone and started for the living room when I felt it vibrate in my hand.

I looked down and read:

New message: Josh.

Suddenly, I felt nervous.

I opened the message and smiled.

It read:

Josh: Hey Sam.

I quickly replied:

Samantha: Hey Kiddo.

A few moments passed when my phone buzzed again:

Josh : Thank you for today.

I quickly texted back:

Did you enjoy it?

A few more moments passed when my phone buzzed again:

Josh: Very much.

I replied:

Please, don't tell anyone. Especially, your Mom.

A few more moments passed and it buzzed again:

Josh: God, no. Are you crazy?

I replied:

Thank you.

I stood there in the kitchen. I didn't know what to say.

I heard David snoring in the front room again.

My phone buzzed:

Josh: Can I see you again?

Then my phone buzzed again:

Josh: If not, I understand. But I would really like to. If that's okay.

I smiled and welled up again.

I heard David snoring louder.

I decided that if my own husband didn't want me then I would give myself to someone who did.

I replied:

How does Monday sound?