Sandy's Story

I'll never know why I did it, Was I truly that unhappy with my life and marriage? Was I just bored out of my mind, sex seemed to be the only thing on my mind the last few years. And my husband could care less about it anymore. We did make love, but I got no satisfaction from it. I hardly ever had an Orgasm, and he always had his. Either I would give him head, which her truly loves. Or I would let him have his way, anyway he wanted. But even when he performed oral sex on me, I just seldom ever had an Orgasm.

True I had gained a lot of weight over the years, I was never a small woman to begin with. But I never lost my desire for sex, and if my husband didn't want it like I did, then I was sure someone on the internet would.

I searched for chat rooms for days before finding one that seemed to suit my needs and desires. I struck up a few interesting conversations with more than a few men, all looking for a woman, just to fuck it seemed, nothing more. No romance, no sweet talk, just vulgar "I want to fuck!" nonsense.

Is that all men think we women want? A fast fuck? If I was going to have an affair, you can believe it would not be a Slam Bam Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out type of affair.

As I said before, I am a large woman. Not one that I would think many men would truly find attractive in this world of Anorexic Woman Model types. So I believed the only way a nice man would want to continue talking to me was to make up a persona, a totally new person. Not an older heavy woman, but a younger, thinner quite attractive lady.

My friend is a tall, svelte redhead, with long spiral permed hair, a very smart banker type. One who really has her shit together. You know?

I decided to call her Sandy! I met several men online. And when they asked

I would paint a picture of a willowy, tall woman mature but if normal stature. Petite in fact, but extremely sexy.

I finally met a man that seemed to be interested in more, His name is Robert. He was always witty and never failed to make me laugh, we even exchanged email addresses. We emailed each other daily and finally we exchanged phone numbers. When I heard his sweet southern accent I was hooked, Living in Omaha, I had only heard that accent

on TV or in a Movie and always thought it was just acting, No one actually talked like that I thought. I even got a girlfriend at works picture and emailed it to him saying it was me. I know, it was wrong and now, how could I ever make it right!

Robert worked in Washington DC, and traveled across America in his business. We called each other and Instant Message one another on AOL, always talking about what we would do to each other if we ever met up in real life. Phone sex, the works, fulfilling each others fantasies with talk, email's and instant messages. He would call me whenever he was on a business trip and we would talk for hours telling each other our deepest most secret desires.

Well, months went by without a word from Robert, nothing, no email, no instant messages, no calls, nothing. I wondered if he had found a real woman to fulfill his fantasies, one he could hold on to at night, and do the things we had talked about so many times.

One evening I was sitting at home in the chat room when I got an instant message from Robert.

"Hey Baby, how are you? I've missed you. Look I'm in Omaha, do you want to get together and have a night to remember for a lifetime?

What could I do? Remember, I was well over the age of 42 I had told him, and was no where near the sexy picture I had led him to believe I was. I never expected him to come anywhere near where I lived, it was all a fantasy thing. I know he didn't not know how to reach me personally, other than my cell phone or the internet. I was at a loss of what to

say or do.

I shut down my computer, if he was ever to ask, I would just say I got booted offline. I was shaking I was so shook up, now what I thought. If we met he would know I was a liar, I was not the beautiful woman he had thought he was talking too all this time. How could he ever find me attractive after the lie I had told. Perhaps if I was nearer 165pounds instead of 265, not that I am ugly, but I could never be the beauty queen I led him to fall in lust with.

I turned off my Cell phone, and stayed offline for over 3 weeks avoiding him. There were so many email's and messages on my phone I didn't try to count them.

"Are you avoiding me?" the messages said.

"Where are you baby?" they said.

"I miss you sweetheart." I read them all, I was in tears. I had hurt us both. Robert was a handsome young man full of life and love and I felt as if I had ripped his heart out along with my own.

All the phone sex we had and I played with myself until I came while he listened and masturbated along with me. The times I had tweaked my own nipples wishing it had been him, using my large dildo as he told me the many ways he would satisfy me. And it had all been a terrible lie because I was afraid to tell the truth about what I looked

like and what I thought all men wanted.

I knew nothing of the web sites where men lust and love what is called a BBW. I never thought of myself as a BBW, a Big Beautiful Woman. I was always taunted as a fat girl, one that a guy would fuck and not tell his friends about, and it never failed to hurt me beyond words. An overweight person does not want to feel unloved or unwanted. I wasn't so large when I married my husband 26 years ago. And I don't know how I ended up the size I am, but so be it, here I am.

Wondering what to do, should I answer his instant messages? Should I call him back? I am so confused, how could I have let this happen. I had waited so long for this and now it was over, how could he want me now? I was 16 years older than I had told him and he was only mid 30's, what young handsome man would want a woman like me

who lied and deceived him. I was crushed, I wasn't concerned about what my husband would think if he ever found out, I was only worried about Robert, and what would he ever do if he met me in real life.

I asked my friend what she thought I should do, I asked others online. The answer was always the same, forget about him and go on in life, and next time don't lie. I lay in bed that evening, thinking of all Robert and I had talked about, the wild sex we would have. Everything from nice slow lovemaking to S&M, and I wanted it all. Any sex was better

than that I had been getting at home, my husband acted as if it was a chore to see me nude and even more so to get an erection to fulfill his sexual needs. I was in an endless circle of lust and no satisfaction, except when I made myself come. And I always did when talking to Robert., many times. In fact one night I was almost caught by my

husband as I cried out.

I decided to answer Roberts messages, I was never so ashamed of anything in my life as what I needed to tell him, how would he react to the truth. Would he hate me forever, never to speak to me again. Would he understand the pain I was in, not only from having to live this lie I had told, but to live the life I lived. The only way to find out was to ask him.

I sent a instant message to Robert the next time I saw him online."Robert, we need to talk. Can you call me?" I asked.

"Sure baby, when?"

"Right now, I'm alone at home and I really need to tell you something and I can only do it by phone, not on this." I was crying as I wrote it.

"Oh, OK." I could see the questions in his answer, now if I only had the answers.

The phone rang, I was paralyzed with fear as it rang and rang, too afraid to answer it I let it ring. Finally it stopped, my eyes were blinded by my tears, my chest heaved as I gulped air trying to catch my breath from my pain. I jumped when the phone rang again. I slowly reached over and picked it up, my voice and heart broken as I picked it up.

"Hello?" I cried into the receiver.

"Sandy? Are you alright baby?" His sweet southern accent full of concern and worry about me.

"No Robert, I'm not. I need to explain something to you and I really don't know how." I bawled into the phone.

"What is it baby, surely it can't be that horrible that you can't explain it to me. You know I love you!" He told me.

I could only cry when he told me those words, Oh how I loved him also. I loved his words, his humor, his openness and his honesty. How could I tell him I was a fraud? My mind raced with thoughts of how would he react to the truth, How would I tell him the truth in such a way as not to be made a complete fool of. There was no way I could do that, I was a fool. I decided the best thing for both of us was to not continue this.

"Robert, I must tell you the truth, you deserve that much from me." Tears filling my eyes as the words flowed out, the truth, finally. "I'm not 42, I am 54, I'm not small, I can't remember when I was as small as I've led you to believe. The picture I sent is of someone else, a Co-worker of mine." I sobbed, barely able to get the words out as he listened, wordlessly to my rambling.

When I was done, there was nothing but dead silence on the other end of the phone, I can't imagine what was running through his mind. Everything he knew about me was a lie, other than my feelings for him. Finally after a couple of minutes, which seemed like a lifetime as I sat there, my shoulders shaking as I cried. I told him the truth, about me, about my life.

Just as I suspected, he didn't want me anymore. I can't say I blame him, after all I did lie to him. How could he want me after he knew the truth, Not that many men are interested in a large woman.

I gave up trying to find someone on the internet and stayed with my husband, nothing has changed between us. I do still have affairs when the opportunity arises, And my husband doesn't suspect anything. Perhaps someday someone may come rescue me from this existence I live in, I can't call it a life, but it is what I have.

Authors Note:

This story is Pure Fantasy, it never happened. It was only written for, You the Reader and my own enjoyment only!

I do NOT believe in, or participate in Incest, Violence towards Women OR the Sexual Abuse of a Child of any age, consenting or not!

If you enjoyed this story, please drop me an email with any suggestions or fantasies you would like to read about.

Yes, I am a warped individual, but at least I still have my sense of humor! ;-)