Saved By My Mate

I keep telling myself that I won't die.

I can't die in the mountains, where scavengers would scatter my bones, leaving them bleached in the rocks and scrub. I can't do that to my parents. My family would search for me, but I was well beyond our territory. My Mom would never know what happened to me.

I know I'm choking on my blood on the side of a hill with an antler tine buried in my chest. I was strong, and I was stubborn. I was a damn Beta in my pack and one badass she-wolf.

No, I was going to make it. I'm not quitting.

My determination did not change the fact that the antler had punctured my lung. I was bleeding out my mouth and painfully coughing up blood, and night would be here soon. I had to drag myself to shelter, or I'd never make it through the cold night. My paws stretched forward, my claws digging into the pine straw and dirt of the forest floor. Every inch of progress towards the deadfall fifty feet away was a struggle. Every movement hurt. I labored to catch a breath. When I coughed, the blood would spray my front legs. I couldn't stand, but my back legs helped push me forward, inch by inch.

I focused on the immediate. Set a target a few feet ahead. Crawl through the pain to get there. Get a new target. Lather, rinse, repeat. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Don't give up. Don't EVER give up. Pain is transitory.

No one will even start looking for me until late tomorrow. I had told my parents I was going for a long run and would be back by morning. They had work, and I had been running these mountains my entire life.

I was home from college, and they knew I needed to let my wolf out for a while. Our house was on the edge of our Pack lands and west of Salmon, Idaho. The Frank Church-River of No Return Wilderness Area was a short run away, and beyond that was the biggest remaining roadless area in the Lower 48. The name originated when Lewis and Clark tried to take the Salmon River west. They couldn't get past the rapids and couldn't paddle back upstream either. It's a pack hunting ground for us. Now that grey wolves have protection, we can run without being in danger of a rancher shooting us on sight. There are mule deer, antelope, and other tasty prey in abundance.

The mule deer buck wasn't supposed to hurt me, but I was sloppy and overconfident. I hadn't hunted such big prey alone, but the animal was limping, and I was hungry. I thought the deer would bolt when it saw me leaping for him. I was already in the air before I realized I was wrong. He twisted, his horns slamming into my chest. One tine broke off between my ribs as he flung me aside. I crashed heavily to the ground while the buck limped away.

I thought about the fun things I could do when I finally returned home. I was going to take a long, hot shower. I'd cuddle up in the window seat with a good book while the snow flew. I could gaze up at the moon and dream about the moment I would meet my mate, the one person made just for me, the one who would be with me forever. I'd known his scent since puberty. I'd daydreamed about what he might look like when I saw him. He smelled like oak, leather, and fresh rain. I dreamed he would be strong, kind, and handsome.

We would sense each other. Our eyes would meet, and then we would run together, ignoring everyone around us. I'd visualized myself as I jumped into my broad chest. I'd feel two strong arms wrapping around me as I spun around. Our lips would meet in an explosion of tingles that would leave me breathless. My new mate would carry me back to his room and make me his woman. He would mark me as his by biting my neck, and I would bite him back.

We'd have our happily ever after, raising our children and serving the Pack.

Well, not if I don't get my sorry ass to shelter soon.

It was getting more difficult to move as I lost more blood. Every time I stretched my front paws out, I would whine with the pain of doing so. I was concentrating so much on my progress that I didn't notice the sounds of an intruder.

I smelled him first.

My head snapped up. Oak, leather, fresh rain, it was HIM! My mate!

I held my nose up, sampling the wind as my eyes searched for my destined mate. I could hear his footsteps on the hard ground but could not see anything. I whined, howled, then I howled again despite the pain, but he didn't answer. He was coming closer, though. His smell was strengthening, making my body shiver in anticipation. I could hear him moving through the brush.

Finally, he broke through.

My first thought was how strong and handsome he looked.

My second thought was to wonder why Luna paired me with a HUMAN?

I whined in anticipation as he approached. He was tall, easily over six feet. He wore a plaid shirt buttoned low. The top gave a hint at the bulging muscles underneath the olive-drab t-shirt. His shoulders were broad, his waist flat and narrow, and his thighs and calves were thick with muscles. He carried a large frame backpack with a tent and sleeping bag on shoulder straps and a waist belt. He also wore a big stainless steel revolver holstered low on his right hip. His hair was dark brown, and he had a scruff of beard like he hadn't shaved in a week. I was staring at him with my tongue wagging, thanking Luna for giving me such a HOT male. He was more than I had dreamed.

He stopped about ten feet from me, his eyes hidden by his sunglasses as he sized me up.

I put my head down and whined softly. The last thing I needed was for him to be scared of me and pull that pistol! Even worse, what would I do if he thought it would be merciful to put me out of my misery? I wished I could change back into my human form, but I didn't have the energy. Even for a mate, I couldn't shift in front of a human without risking my own life. I tried to lift my head to keep looking at him, but I was at the end of my energy reserves.

My neck fell to the dirt, and I rolled to my side.

"Damn, girl, that doesn't look good." Blood soaked my black fur, and the antler tine was sticking out. I licked the blood off my muzzle and whined again. He moved closer, and I could see his concern for me as he removed his sunglasses.

His right eye was a striking green color. His left eye was gone, the eyelid sewn shut. An angry scar went from just above his nose down to his left ear. I whined softly, trying to get him to come closer. I watched him pull out a bandana from his back pocket. With one hand on his pistol, he circled in front of me while his other held the fabric out. "Easy, girl, I won't hurt you. I'm going to see if I can help, all right? Just stay calm. Everything will be fine as long as you don't bite me." His deep voice soothed me, and I relaxed as he approached. He looped the fabric and tied it around my muzzle as I looked at him in puzzlement.

"Good girl. I'm sorry about this, but I have to protect myself. This next part will hurt, and I don't want you biting me."

He set his pack down and started to dig around inside. He pulled out a bag, red with a big red cross on it. "Wilderness first aid kit. Don't leave home without it." He smiled and stroked my head and neck as he moved closer. He was kneeling on his right knee next to my chest, looking through the bag for something, when I noticed his leg. His jeans had risen above his boot, and I could see a titanium tube leading to his artificial foot.

I saw him take out gauze, alcohol, forceps, a packet of Quickclot, a scalpel, and a field dressing. He took a powerful headlamp flashlight out and placed it on his forehead. Setting the instruments aside, he took off his plaid shirt and laid it over my head. "Sorry, girl, you don't want to see what I have to do here." I focused on remaining still. He was going to help me, and he was my mate, so I could trust him.

I heard the sound of latex gloves snapping on his wrists. Soon he was probing the area near the antler. I whined softly as his artificial leg gently draped over my neck and his shirt, holding my head down so I wouldn't move. "All right, this will hurt, but I have to do this. If you don't bite me, I'll fix you up. Today isn't the first time I've done field surgery on a sucking chest wound, my wolf. You're lucky I found you in time." I whined as he gripped the antler, moving it slightly, and then he pulled.

White-hot agony in my chest. I passed out from the pain.

I woke up not knowing how long I had been out. It must have been hours because it was dark out. The only light came from a nearby campfire. My mate's scent was strong around me, and that helped keep me calm. Everything hurt, especially breathing, but I wasn't laboring to catch a breath like before.

I looked around without moving my head and paid attention to my senses. The first thing I noticed was that I was warm. I was lying on the top of his sleeping bag, and the soft insulation felt good on my fur. I could see his tent over me. He'd put my head near the entrance and left the flaps wide open. He was wise to do so; if I panicked and ran off, I wouldn't rip his tent up on the way. The entrance faced a small fire that held back the cooling night air. On the side of the fire was a small metal pan. I could smell the rice and beef dish cooking, and it smelled amazing.

I couldn't see or hear my mate. I raised my head and looked down at my body. I could feel the bandage on my chest and an ace bandage loosely surrounding it to hold it in place. I could also tell he had cleaned the blood from my fur. I decided to risk moving around and rolled until I was on my stomach. It hurt, and I closed my eyes until the pain ebbed. My aching body wasn't ready to do it again.

I decided to wait for him to come back. I put my head down on my paws and soon fell asleep again.

I woke to the sounds of him coming up the hill, and soon I could see the light of his flashlight. He walked into the campsite, tossed the pistol on his pack, then hung his clothes on the branches to dry. He was gloriously and amazingly naked in the firelight. My wolf was panting with lust as she looked at his body, seeing the strength to dominate her and protect her pups. My human side was looking at him with shock.

This male went through hell.

I knew about his left leg and left eye, but that was just the start of the damage. The firelight illuminated the dozens of shiny, jagged scars crisscrossing his left side, chest, and legs. Chunks of muscle were missing, and I could make out dozens of surgical scars.

He must have been in agony.

I cried inside for him. I moaned for his pain and his loss. I whined softly, knowing he had gone through that hell without me by his side.

He heard me whine and looked past the fire to me. "Hey, girl. I'm glad you're up. It was touch and go for a while there." I didn't know it was that close. "The good news is that I tied off the bleeder and got your lung reinflated. It will hurt like hell, but if you take it easy for a while, you'll survive." I tilted my head to look at him. "Yeah, I know. I'm talking to a wolf who has no idea what I'm saying, but I like talking to you. I need to give you a name, though. 'Girl' just doesn't cut it."

I opened my jaws and let my tongue hang out.

"Any ideas? Wolfie? Fido? Spike?" I growled at that one. "OK, not a fan. Lucky? Gray Eyes?" I tilted my head. "You know, your fur reminds me of a friend. He had black hair like you and a beard with a bit of white. His nickname was Raven. That work for you?" I gave him a chuff and nodded my head. "Raven it is. You're a smart one, I bet. I didn't think you would let me work on you without trying to bite me. It was a coin flip on whether I'd need a rabies shot after trying to treat you."

He moved over to his pack and pulled out boxers and jeans. I let out a soft moan as he covered up his privates. My wolf didn't like losing her view of his sizeable equipment. My wolf had been a horn-dog since I came of age, overly focused on thoughts of sex and mating. My male was well-equipped for that.

I admit my human side enjoyed the show, especially his muscled ass as he pulled his jeans on. He grabbed a T-shirt and pulled it on, the fabric covering the tattoos on his back and shoulders. "You missed out on a bath, Raven. There is a hot spring about two clicks that way. I had a nice long soak in it, and my legs feel much better now. I love hiking these mountains because I can get a hot bath before bed. There's nothing like that in the mountains of Afghanistan."

I kept watching as he moved over to the fire. Using a glove, he pulled the pot off and used a spoon to scoop half onto a plate. He spread it out, letting the steam escape. My mouth was watering at the smell, and my stomach growled loud enough for him to hear. "I have to let it cool first, Raven. I'll get you some water while we wait." He walked to the tent and carefully lifted me off the sleeping bag, setting me on my stomach next to the fire. He sat down next to me with a groan. "I'm glad you get along with me, Raven. It's nice having someone to talk to who can't talk back. With you, I don't have to deal with the looks of pity or feigned sympathy. You don't look away when you see my body or hide your children when you see me coming."

I whined, angry that anyone would do that to him. Afghanistan meant he was a soldier and someone deserving of the respect and thanks of all Americans.

"That's why I like hiking back here. I can go for days without seeing another person. You accept me as I am, and I take you as you are. Well, that and you can't walk away from me yet." He laughed at his joke, and I made a soft chuffing noise. I'd never leave him.

He poured water from his canteen into a bowl and set it down. I was very thirsty, so soon it was gone, and he poured out more. "I think that's enough for now, Raven. I don't need you waking up to pee five times tonight. How about we get you that food now?" My tongue was hanging out the side of my mouth, water dripping to the ground.

He took the plate and set it down before me. I looked at him for a second, then put my head down and started in on it. He was a great camp cook; I'll give him that. The rice was soft, and the beef pieces had absorbed enough water to be chewy. I finished my plate quickly, licking the plate clean. I looked at him, my head to the side and tongue hanging out, begging for more. He saw me eyeballing his plate and turned it away. "Sorry, this is mine." He finished eating out of the pot, then set all the dishes aside. He pulled out a couple of chewy granola bars from his backpack and fed me one.

In the distance, I could hear thunder. My mate looked in the direction of the coming storm. "Looks like we're in for some weather. Go out there and do your business, then get ready for bed. I've got to get everything put away before this hits." He picked up the dishes and headed down to the stream below. I took the opportunity to limp to the trees and relieve myself. I was back in the tent and laid down on the sleeping bag before he returned. I watched him toss a rope over a high branch, then haul his food bag out of the way of any bears. Hopefully, my scent would deter them from approaching. If any came into camp, my male had his pistol. It looked like a .44 Magnum, powerful enough to kill the beast before it ripped you to shreds.

He put a few more logs on the fire to keep it going, stacking them to keep some of the rain off the coals underneath. As long as a few coals lingered, he'd be able to refire it quickly in the morning. He used a tarp to cover his pack and some firewood, tucking the edges down so it wouldn't blow away. Finally, he tried to come into his tent.

"Geez, Raven, make yourself at home," he grumbled. I yipped at him as he moved past me. "Move over a little, and let me get in." He unzipped the sleeping bag halfway, then took off his leg and set it in the corner. He pulled off his jeans and slid inside the bag.

I nosed my head under the covers by his hip. He held the sleeping bag open, and I squirmed until I was lying on my uninjured side with my back next to his chest. I put my head on the shirts he had rolled up as a pillow and relaxed. I could feel his breath on my neck as he draped an arm over my stomach.

He was asleep within seconds.

I didn't have such luck. My mate was RIGHT HERE! I loved him, and I wanted to claim him. I couldn't because my injuries were too severe to change forms until I'd healed some. His bare legs were by my tail, and I could feel his cock twitch as he dreamed.

I'd have to wait until I healed before I could shift. I'd reveal what I was and what that meant for us, and we could start our life together.

He woke me just as the first glow of dawn was coming over the mountains. He opened up the tent before putting on his leg. He grabbed his jeans before his morning wood led the way out. I watched him go before I slipped out to pee, whining a few times as my wounds protested the movement. He disappeared down the hill with his canteen, too far to follow.

I made my way over to the remains of the fire. We had gotten lucky, the storm had missed us last night, and I could feel the heat from the remaining coals.

He made us breakfast, cooking up oatmeal with raisins. He was relaxed enough with me now that he just scooped it with his fingers and let me eat out of his hand. "You're the tamest wolf I've ever heard of, Raven. You're bigger than any wolf I've seen, so I wonder if you're a cross-breed. I don't see signs of a collar, or I'd be sure you were domesticated. You've got to go a hundred pounds with not an ounce of fat." I chuffed; I weighed one-twenty, and my five-foot-six frame looked damn good as a human. "I'm glad I came out here. Life makes sense in the mountains, you know? You eat, you sleep, you hunt your food. You don't have rent, jobs, or appointments with yet another shrink who can't help you. No red tape, no endless forms, no stupid bosses who think they are 'all that and a bag of chips' when they couldn't lead people out of a burning building. You know what you are and where you are." He scratched my neck. "It's so peaceful up here. I've been to other places with tall mountains, long hikes, and rough campsites in my life. In THIS place, no one is shooting at me. There aren't people blowing themselves up to get a free ticket to heaven. I wish I could stay in these mountains forever."

I laid my head in his lap and let him scratch my ears. "I miss my buddies. We came from all over, but we were closer than brothers. We would do anything for each other and could talk about anything. Who the hell can I talk to about us back here? My friends from high school? What are they going to tell me? They've never been in a situation more dangerous than playing Call of Duty on a work night." He tossed a rock into the woods. "They don't know what it is like to lose buddies. They don't know the sound of a buddy wanting his Mom while you're fighting to save him, and you can't. They've never watched the light go from their eyes or heard the death rattle of their last breath." A tear dripped from his face onto my neck. "Six of my friends died when that IED blasted the Humvee to kingdom come. I'm working on my Lieutenant; his leg is missing, I'm getting a tourniquet on before he bleeds out, and his guts are spilling onto the ground. Sarge is on the radio, and the others are pulling the dead out. I feel like something hit me in the side, and everything goes black. The next thing I know, I wake up in Germany. A suicide bomber ran in next to us and blew himself up. What kind of sick fucks blow up wounded people?" I can't cry in wolf form, but my wolf is howling inside at her mate's pain. "My whole fucking squad and only three of us survived." Another tear dropped. "Vic killed himself six months later. His suffering is over now."

I licked his hand. "I can't take much more of this, Raven. I can't function here in the States. Every time I sleep, the nightmares come back. I see my Lieutenant looking at me, reaching for me, pleading, "Doc, help me." And I can't. I try, but I can't. Last night was the first night without a nightmare I can remember since I came stateside."