Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 09

Alex awoke in the night, she was sandwiched between Gavin and Elizabeth in the bed. Gavin had bathed them as he always did. She could see he was exhausted but he wouldn't shirk his duty. She told him it was unnecessary which brought a scoff.

"I'm the Dom, little one, don't fucking make me prove it," he hissed taking her by the hair and pulling it tightly.

"Yes, Sir," was all she could gasp as she felt his dominance over her. The mere way he took her hair and hissed at her made her wet. Fuck the switch shit she thought at the time. I have no problem bowing before Gavin!

She looked up to his face and found him peacefully asleep. She touched his face gently and he awoke with a start.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as to not wake Elizabeth.

"Are you ok?" he asked immediately. Touching her face.

"How could I not be?" she smiled, kissing his lips to push the worry from him. "I'm wrapped in your arms, my pussy aches, satisfied. I've tasted your cum twice today. I have a goddess at my back...gently snoring." She laughed as Elizabeth snorted slightly. "But nothing compares to waking up next to you feeling your hard cock against me!"

"You are going to kill me!" Gavin grinned. She took hold of him. She pushed him to his back and guided him into her which made her wince as he filled her. He took hold of her face, cupping it on either side with his strong hands, as she continued to press through her pain.

"Green," she smiled. "Very much green!" He smiled at her as she began a slow grind. "I just can't get enough of your cock!"

"You are going to wear it down to a nub!" he smiled as she dropped her lips to his.

She kissed his lips, nibbling on the bottom before moving to his ear and nibbling there. Her breathing rushed into his ear as she whimpered with a pleasure filled gasp as she rode him.

"If I'm hurting you," Gavin warned her, but she silenced him with her lips.

"In the most pleasurable way possible!" she said never leaving his lips. Her pussy felt afire. It burned from use but she couldn't stop the hunger from overwhelming her. Pain be damned, she only had four days and it was coming to an end in mere hours now. She had to have his cock as much as she could physically take, just in case the worst happens!

He took hold of her hair as she bit her lip and clinched her eyes shut as her orgasm caused her body to stiffen. He pushed up into her driving her beyond it and down on top of him she flopped exhaustedly.

"Enough little one," he whispered as she lay there gasping.

"Never enough," she whispered back, taking his lip in her mouth and pulling gently as she sat up driving him deeper into her. She leaned back as he sat up and held onto her hips as she arched her back grinding onto his cock. She broke his rule and took him by the head as she came up but he didn't chastise her for touching him. She was beyond that and he could tell. His own orgasm was ushered from him. She bucked on him when she saw it in his face.

"Cum for me, Sir," she begged softly into the night. "Please...fill me!"

"Oh little one," he shook his head as she grinned at her pet name. She pressed her lips to his and rode him into his orgasm as he gasped his pleasure into her mouth as he filled her with what his body had left.

He pulled her back to the mattress with him and she laid her head next to his. Stroking his face contently as she felt him ooze out of her. She tried to move so she wouldn't leak onto him and get him messy but he gripped her ass with both hands not letting her move. They fell asleep like that. Her atop of him. He inside of her, stroking her buttocks with his fingers.

She woke up alone the next morning. Her smile instant as she moved and her sex complained about its overuse.

"Suffer, bitch," she whispered. "You haven't been used nearly enough the past couple of years...time to catch up you underused goddess!"

She listened to the argument in the next room. It sounded as if Elizabeth was having a tantrum. Alex laid there listening. She shook her head. Enough. Gavin was tired she could hear it in his voice even if Elizabeth didn't care. She did!

Walking out she scowled at Elizabeth before turning her eyes to Gavin and smiled.

"You weren't there," Alex complained as he came to her and kissed her forehead in apology.

"I needed to get some things straightened out," he smiled.

"Just once, I want to wake up with you next to me!"

Chapter 11

Sunday had come way too fast for Alex. Although Gavin had claimed her, she was still going to hold to the original agreement as she felt Madelyn forced his hand by Royce's action. She wanted to make sure that Gavin truly wanted her the way she wanted him to want her. Before she got too involved and wound up getting hurt.

When Alex told Elizabeth what had happened with Kelly, she was neither shocked nor appalled. She knew Royce and the mere mention of his name caused her to slip a small grin. Alex didn't know why she was perturbed by the smirk, but she was.

Alex thought back to Gavin's words on the way up. That Elizabeth wanted more than he was willing to give. The way Elizabeth acted after being told the story made Alex think Elizabeth wanted a Royce. Why Alex did not know. Royce was a dangerous, selfish man. His only thought was of his own pleasure. If someone got hurt he didn't care. As long as he received his desire, he was fine with whatever outcome came.

"Elizabeth," Alex cautioned with a shake of her head. "He's dangerous."

"No," Elizabeth smiled. "He just needs a sub that knows how to take care of herself. One with experience."

"No," Alex said firmly. "He's an animal only concerned with himself. He didn't care about Kelly or whether she lived or died."

"Oh, Alexandria," Elizabeth laughed, rolling her eyes, making Alex's skin crawl. "You have a lot to learn!"

"Some things just come naturally," Alex said coolly. "Like spotting an asshole from a mile off."

"Royce is from a very influential family," Elizabeth smiled. "He is going to be somebody. Perhaps a Senator or even...President!"

"No," Alex shook her head. "He is going to wind up with a prison number on his back. Probably somebody's sub for a pack of smokes."

"Oh the dramatics!" Elizabeth giggled. Alex shrugged but turned away, her face burned in anger at being laughed at.

"Royce's dad is a U.S. Congressman," Elizabeth said realizing her words angered the new girl. "There is no way he is going to prison while Daddy has some power."

"I don't care who his daddy is," Alex said firmly. "He kills somebody, he is going to jail!"

Elizabeth shrugged. Alex shook her head. Gavin was right. Her leaving was a foregone conclusion and it seemed she had already picked a new Dom. The worst kind in Alex's limited knowledge.

Dinner was quiet as they ate. Alex wanted Gavin to say something but it seemed that his argument with Elizabeth wasn't over. Perhaps she should have let them argue it out and get it over with before she came out.

Gavin seemed lost in his thoughts. Anytime Alex caught his eye he would give her a wink but she could tell he was mulling something over. When Elizabeth excused herself to go to the restroom, Alex took the moment to break the silence at the table.

"Sir," Alex began softly. Her mind told her she needed to do this. Her heart screamed at her not to.

"Alexandria?" Gavin smiled. It wasn't the same smile he had when they were alone.

"I want you to know," Alex began slowly, sorting the words in her head. "I'm not going to hold you to the vow you gave in the room with Kelly and Royce. I know you were doing it to protect me. I don't want your forced ownership."

Gavin sat back and studied her.

"You think I don't want you?" Gavin asked her as he furrowed his brow and studied her.

"I think you do," Alex said nodding. "And know that I want you...desperately. But I want you willingly. I don't want a promise made in the heat of the moment. I know you are violating your absolute."

"I am," Gavin nodded as he frowned and looked to the table.

"Sir," Alex continued. "I don't want another Dom. Madelyn said you were the best and I don't doubt that. I liked the way the other kittens were jealous of me. I like the way they looked at me with a healthy hatred. But most of all, I like the way you look at me."

"Alexandria," Gavin began slowly. "I don't know what to say." He looked to the ceiling. "You are correct in your observation of why I claimed you. I wanted to protect you. And coming to the hotel yesterday I hoped you would be gone. Gone from me and out of my control."

Alex lowered her head. She was disappointed. She wanted him to say, 'No you are my sub, I've claimed you and you can't leave! You can leave when I'm done with you!'. But he broke her heart by not saying it. Now he was letting her go. Either she wasn't good enough or his absolutes won out. He was monogamous.

"How do I put this?" Gavin said through a deep exhale. "I wanted you to be gone, not because I don't want you...quite the opposite! I want you too much! I...," Alex's smile came out as the words were making her tingle. "Make no mistake. I have cared for every one of my subs. I have been fond of them all, but you...you are making me feel something...more."

Alex looked up at him. He shrugged.

"I have no words, measure or unmeasured, to describe the way I feel about you," Gavin said folding his hands under his chin as he evaluated her. "I've never been...,"

"Been what?" Alex asked him when he stopped and shook his head.

"Afraid," Gavin sighed.

"Afraid?" Alex asked shocked. He nodded.

"I'm having thoughts that I shouldn't," Gavin explained right before Elizabeth returned and Gavin said nothing more. Alex knew nothing more needed to be said. The conversation she had been dreading floored her unexpectedly. Did this man just admit he might be in over his head with her?

"Alexandria," Gavin said sternly, going back to his Dom. "You need to make a decision."

"She has made it!" Elizabeth scoffed, the surprise coating her face with a tinge of anger in her eyes.

"Elizabeth, don't interrupt," Gavin warned forcefully. He turned to Alex again.

"I want you to make a decision," Gavin began again. "You are to take a cooling off period. Take the week. Think about what you want, and who you want. This is nothing to rush into."

"What if I don't need the week?" Alex asked him looking into his eyes.

"I need the week," Gavin said softly.

"You've both committed!" Elizabeth gasped. Alex could tell she wanted this to happen too desperately. It probably meant this was her out, once Gavin had a new sub she would leave. She wouldn't just up and leave Gavin with nothing.

"I am committed," Alex nodded softly, looking Gavin in the eyes the entire time. "But Gavin's promise was one he made in the heat of a moment. I don't want that. I want the promise under the right circumstances."

Elizabeth sat back with a huff. Alex stared at Gavin and she could tell in his eyes he was thankful that she understood.

The ride from Chicago was unbearably long. Alex sat in the front with Gavin but he didn't touch her the way he did on the way up. No soft hand on the inside of her thigh to make her tingle. No conversation either. Elizabeth sat in the back staring out the window. There was anger radiating from the backseat. A mixture of sorrow and regret from the front. The cabin of the expensive car seemed to press in on her making it hard to breathe.

Pulling up to her car in the parking lot of the coffee shop where this all began, Alex fiddled with her fingers silently as Gavin walked slowly around the car to open her door. Walking with him to her car, Alex left her head down. She hoped she was wrong, but this felt an awful lot like goodbye.

As Alex leaned against her car she heard a slamming of a car door and she looked to see Elizabeth storm around the car to get into the passenger side. Alex realized Gavin didn't open Elizabeth's door as he had hers.

"Ignore her temper tantrum," Gavin warned. "That's an argument to have at home."

"Gavin," Alex began slowly. "I don't need a week. When you decide, I'll be waiting." Gavin cupped her chin and tilted it up.

"I said take the week," Gavin said firmly.

"You don't own me yet," Alex reminded. "Until then...," he cut off her insolence with a kiss that made her sigh.

"That wonderful little mouth of yours!" Gavin whispered.

"Just say yes, and it will be yours," Alex whispered back lifting her heavy lashes up.

"So eager," Gavin smiled as he shook his head with a grin and ran his thumb across her lips. His face went from enjoyment to seriousness and Alex held her breath for what he was about to say to her.

"I want you to really think about this. This world I live in can be really wondrous, but it can also be a nightmare. I've seen both sides. I've always tried to make sure I did things the right way, but I know, all Doms don't do what I do."

"I want you to think about it seriously. I know you think you know what you want, but I seriously doubt after just a few days you can know. You think you do, but only because it's been exciting and new. It isn't always like this weekend."

"I understand," Alex frowned. "And I trust you to be right about the other Doms. Which is why it is so important that I have you."

He was right. She was rushing because she enjoyed him and she hadn't had many men to compare with him. She doubted any man could be like this man, but this was all so new to her. Overwhelming. Sometimes it felt like she was treading water in an angry ocean of desire.

"I promise to think about what you have shown me, and I know there is a lot I don't know. But let me put this to you...how am I going to learn if I'm on the outside?" Her question made him twist his mouth in contemplation. She could see the thoughts running through his head as he calculated what she said.

Gavin looked to the night sky for answers. She was right.

"Perhaps a trial basis could be arranged," Gavin frowned. "I will think on it as well. It's sort of a violation of my absolutes, but then again, I've never had a complete novice before either...so perhaps an accommodation can be made."

She smiled.

"No you haven't won," he warned her firmly. "I'm still monogamous, but it is something to consider. It seems you are testing me in ways I never thought I would be tested."

"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" she asked him getting lost in his chocolate brown eyes.

"That remains to be seen," he told her. "Alexandria, you are a quandary." She nodded. She had been called worse and the sparkle of approval in his eyes told her that he meant it as a compliment.

He opened her door and she shook her head. She didn't want to get into her car. He had exposed her to too much now. There was no going back. How does one go back to the vanilla world as he called it? You can't. How does she convince him to claim her fully?

She took the long way home to clear her head. She needed to come to grips with returning to the other world. The vanilla world. Could she? She felt so alive now. Like a child seeing Christmas for the first time. It was all so overwhelming and left her mind scrambling to catch up. She never felt over her head as she had Gavin by her side to guide her.

If the worst happened and Gavin's absolutes won out. Could she continue on without him? Would she want to? Gavin said he would introduce her to a Dom to her liking, but if you have been with the best can you ever settle for a lesser product? Could she ever be fulfilled with something good but not as good as Gavin?

Madelyn who had been in the life for a long time said he was the best she had seen or heard about. How do you take something less now? After test driving a Mercedes can you ever go down to a bargain basement Chevy? Both are good cars but one has all the bells and whistles the other just reliable?

"Hey!" came Lena's voice from the living room after she closed her front door.

"Hey," Alex called back somberly.

"See? The apartment still stands!" Lena joked as Alex turned the corner.

Alex grinned as she plopped down next to her roomie on the couch with a disappointed sigh.

"Uh-oh," Lena frowned surveying her roommate, fearing the worst.

"No," Alex shook her head, reading it easily. "I'm in a holding pattern."

"I thought it was going so well?" Lena asked pulling Alex into a comforting hug. Something she had done on multiple occasions throughout Alex's less than stellar love life.

"It was," Alex agreed. "He just wants me to make sure this is what I want."

"Ok," Lena rocked her. "Is this what you want?"

"More than anything," Alex smiled.

"Then what's the deal?" Lena asked.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Alex laughed a soft laugh. She tried to come up with the vocabulary to tell Lena all she had been privy to this weekend. The shows, the sex. The emotions he evoked from her. Everything. She found she felt she didn't have the words.

"Try me,"

"Gavin is a Dom," Alex told her bluntly with a half shrug of her shoulders.

"A Dom?"

"A Dominant. BDSM," Alex clarified.

"Holy shit!" Lena gasped with a shocked smile. "You kinky little bitch!" Alex giggled at her stunned response. "You are into that?"

"I didn't know I was until this week," Alex shrugged.

"Like whips and chains?"

"No," Alex shook her head. "And yes."

"Are you trying to be confusing?" Lena asked.

"The BDSM world I thought of, isn't what I thought it was," Alex exhaled. "Yes there are parts of it that involve those things, but it's not always about those things...or so I'm learning."

"Give me an example," Lena demanded.

"Have you ever had a guy get you off thirteen times?" Alex looked to her quizzically and reveled in the dropped jaw look her friend was giving her. "And never get undressed?"

"Bullshit!" Lena drew out. Alex shrugged but her eyes spoke the truth and Lena knew it.

"He took me to a party this weekend," Alex smiled as she laid her head on Lena's lap. It reminded her of the fantastic sex she had with Gavin before falling asleep on him. "I saw things I can't describe! I felt like...well I can't describe that either. It's a world filled with things that will leave your mind scrambling to believe."

"So what happened?" Lena asked as she stroked her hair.

"I picked a Dom who is monogamous," Alex frowned unhappily. "It's one of his absolutes."

"Absolutes?" Lena asked gently running her fingers through her roommate's hair, coaxing her into a soft sigh of pleasure.

"A rule that can't be broken," Alex sighed as she closed her eyes regretfully.

"You like him?"

"Yes," Alex whispered.

"Does he like you?"

"Yes," she whispered again. "Maybe too much he said."

"So he's scared?"

"It is so unlike him to be scared," Alex laughed without an ounce of humor. "But he said he was."

"Why?"

"Because he likes me too much," Alex wrinkled her nose up as she said it.

"Jesus,"

"I know," Alex agreed matching her frown.

Alex spent her days in the coffee shop in the hopes he would come in. He never did. Neither did Elizabeth. Alex was beginning to lose hope. Each day she felt like the odds of him coming to her faded.

She hoped he would check in on her, but he never did. She wanted to text him, but knew that might anger him as he wanted her to take the whole week. She didn't need a week. She didn't need a day. She didn't need a second! Why on earth was she so foolish to allow him to back out? Why couldn't she hold him to his honor? She could have held him to his promise. He was a man of honor, she could then convince him having her was a good thing!

Late on the fourth night of her forced sabbatical, the only sounds in the apartment were that of the refrigerator kicking on and off. She sat staring at the ceiling, her art scattered about the room as she tried to sketch all the things she witnessed over the weekend.