Secrets Within

She stands at the edge of the cliff looking down, and her dark, blue eyes sparkle as she looks over the ocean. She never could forget this one spot, could never push it out of her mind. She dreamt of it too often, and now, as if by magic, she was standing there looking over the ocean lit up by the light of the full moon. This kind of Friday night doesn't come around often. The wind rustles her raven black hair, and an evil smile forms on her beautiful face. She knew what to do. Now the question was, how was she going to do it? She looks up at the sky. It's clear, not a cloud in sight with every single star visible. Her dark hair made her skin even more pale, and her full lips even more red. Anya sat down carefully so as not to fall over, and her eyes never left the ocean. The night was warm for early April, but for her, it was always cold. She couldn't remember the last time she felt warm...or loved. Lost deep in thought, she hadn't realized that most of the night had slipped away. The sun would be up soon, and she had to get back. She didn't want anyone to notice that she was gone.

She slept until noon and still didn't want to move. The sun was shiny, high, and bright - all the things she wasn't feeling. Anya remembered being on the cliff, but she didn't remember how or when she got home. Everything was just blank after that. She sat up, lit up a Marlboro menthol, and turned on her radio. She went over to her closet and chose a black leather tank top and black leather pants. She was twenty-one years old, and everyone who knew her or saw her was scared, turned on, or both. They had many reasons to be scared. The last guy who hit on her would never be hitting on another innocent girl for the rest of his life. How could he if he has no tongue? He thought he could rape her and kill her - she read his thoughts. Another drunk asshole's mistake. Walking into the bathroom, she turns on the water and gets into the shower. The water runs in red streams from her dripping hair and onto her body. She stifles a scream knowing it won't help her situation because she'd just be drawing attention to it. This wasn't the first time she woke up not remembering a thing and then had to wash blood out of her hair. She also knew this wasn't going to be the last. She wished she could remember what happened the night before, but her wishes never come true. She got out of the shower knowing that what she did last night would come to her on its own - as it usually did.

She pulls on her clothes and knows she looks incredible. Her clothes show off every curve in her body, and she knows she has a great one. She lights another cigarette and heads downstairs where her mom and "the king" are. She always hated her stepfather. Her parents knew how special their daughter was and her stepfather didn't even care. If he knew at all, at least then he would respect her.....maybe he would stop hitting on her. If he didn't respect her, fine. She could live with that, but he didn't respect her mother either, and that made her angry.

"Hey, Anya. Give me the rest of that cigarette."

"Go buy your own pack, Josh."

She walks by and he slaps her ass. She gets angry, but lets it go, as she always does. She knew if she let her anger out, she'd kill him, and she didn't want her mother to see that.

"Anya, would you like something to eat?"

She walks over to her mother and hugs her.

"No, thanks Mom. I'm going out."

"But you just woke up!"

She knew she wanted her to stay, but she needed to calm down. Josh pissed her off to no limit.

"I know, Mom, but I..." She couldn't finish, didn't want to. Instead, she sat down at the table.

An hour later, she was out driving aimlessly in her cherry red mustang. She loved her car. There was nothing else in her life to love. Men only wanted to fuck her, and she was sick of everyone and everything. For some reason, her mind drifted back to Josh. She will never forgive him for what he tried to do to her three years ago.

She got home late that night and was in bed for about five minutes when her door opened. Her stepfather was in his boxers, and he was hard. She couldn't help but notice because he didn't even try to hide it. She found the sight disgusting. She recognized the look in his eyes; she'd seen it a dozen times before, but she couldn't scream. He just kept coming closer, and when he touched her, that was it. She grabbed his arm and broke it. Neither one of them said anything to her mother. She never wanted to think about it again.

Her foot went further down on the accelerator as she got more pissed off. She had to be driving for a few hours by now, and she didn't even know where she was heading. After driving for a few more minutes, she passed a sign:Welcome to New York. She had driven all the way to New York from Virginia! This was crazy! Had she been thinking about things for that long? How fast had she been driving? She had to get back home. Her mother would begin to worry..... .

The car pulled in by a night club, and from the looks of it, the place was alive! She walked inside without a problem, and as the loud music hit her, it made her feel as if she was alive again. She loved alternative music, and Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams" was what everyone was jumping to. She surveyed the crowd. No one interesting, a few potential friends, many potential victims. As she stood there, few people bothered to notice her, but no one tried to touch her. Her aura gave them all the advice to stay away. The song ended, and the techno music began its reign over the club. She walked over to the bar and ordered a screwdriver. She hated them but wanted something stronger than her usual, Alize. She got her drink and finally noticed the guy sitting next to her. His eyes were the same shade as hers, but his hair was brown and short. She had seen him before, but she couldn't figure out from where. Usually, she had no problem placing people.

"Hey, Anya. Long time no see."

"Hey."

He knew her name; how could he have known her name?! She wished she remembered where she knew him from.

"Don't remember me, do you?" His face was beautiful, so was his smile.

"No, sorry, but I don't. I wish I did, though. I remember your face, but not your name."

"Anya, you always had such a wonderful memory. Don't tell me it's failing you now." He stared into her eyes; neither one could look away.

"I hope it's not..."

"I have something that might spark your memory."

"Oh, really? What is it?" She loved to flirt, and with him, it was almost natural.

"Close your eyes."

She did because for some reason, she trusted him. She could feel him coming closer. She could smell him even though there were so many other people around them. She loved the way he smelled. Slowly, he kissed her. It was a soft but deep kiss, and she could feel it throughout her entire body. Then, it ended as suddenly as it began.

"Mmmm, Jack, why'd you stop?" As soon as she said it, she was shocked. How could she have forgotten him? Was because he left her...without any sign, notice, or anything? He just disappeared one morning...

"I don't know. So, how have you been?"

"Why do you care?" She asked, the bitterness entering her voice.

"Because I've been worried. I know you haven't been yourself. You're starting to slip, love."

God, she missed his accent, she missed him.

"Don't' call me love, Jack. You have to right to do that anymore, and I'm not starting to slip."

"Anya..."

He was putting her under his spell again. His heart was once again calling out to her...

She loved men with British accents, but there was something special about this one in particular. He was gorgeous, and he caught her attention as soon as she stepped into the club. He approached her, and little by little, they got to know each other. They met at the club every night, dancing and drinking the night away. She loved spending time with him, and for the first time in her life, she began to fall in love with someone. Their first kiss was incredible, and the first time they make love was indescribable. For some reason, he never spent the night with her. She longed to wake up and see him laying next to her, but that never happened. She didn't know that if that did happen, she'd wake up thinking he was just some random guy, but he knew... He knew that her subconscious was keeping her nightlife a secret from her. He also knew why - she wasn't ready to accept it. So one day, he saw her walking out on the streets and decided he'd introduce himself. They talked, and when they got to know each other better she told him she dreamt of him. He wasn't surprised... That night, he gave into her begging him to spent the night, but he couldn't go through with it, so he left. They hadn't spoken since, and Anya hadn't loved anyone since. That was three and a half years ago.

"Jack, why are you here?" She asked coldly.

"I'm here to enjoy myself. Maybe even fulfill my hunger. Why are you here? You and your family moved to Virginia after I left."

"I don't know." She suddenly wondered what she was doing there.

"You were drawn here, weren't you? You're finally ready to let both your lives come together." He was hoping that was why she was there; he had prayed for it.

"No, Jack. I know the part of me that's human still isn't ready for this."

"But you've been dropping hints?" He was still hopeful.

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to let you back into my life. Don't you think hurting me once was enough?!" She stood, ready to walk away.

Jack grabbed her arm. "I never meant to hurt you. I love you."

"Then why did you leave?" She walked away from him, out of the club, and into the night. She wouldn't feed tonight; her appetite was gone, and her reason for coming to New York was pointless.

She called home telling her mom she wasn't coming home that night; she was staying over a friend's house. It wasn't a complete lie because she still had friends she could stay with here. She just had to look them up. She drove around New York aimlessly, just getting to know the place again. She missed living in the big, noisy city. Looking in her rear-view mirror, she saw the same car that was behind her ten minutes ago. Whoever was in that car was following her, and she wanted to know why. Anya sped up, and so did the car behind her. Every turn she made, the other car kept up. Finally, she got fed up and pulled her car over. She got out and stood by her mustang. The car pulled over behind her. The driver watched her get out and stand by her pride and joy. He decided it was time to show himself - again.

He made her wait a little while longer until he could see she was getting impatient. When he stepped out of the car, he saw the look on her face go from angry to shocked to angry again. He did everything in his power not to start laughing. He walked over to her.

"Jack, why were you following me? Didn't you get the hint the first time around?"

"Anya, I just wanted to make sure you had a place to stay tonight." He took her into his arms and was surprised she let him. "I don't want you out here alone."

"Mmm-hmm." She didn't remember the last time she felt so relaxed. No, wait, she did...their kiss at the club.

"You know, Jack, I can take care of myself. I've done great the past few years."

He loosened his arms around her. He knew she could take care of herself, but he didn't want her to be alone.

"Where are you staying tonight, love?" He had let so much emotion enter his voice. He didn't even know he still loved her that much.

"I don't know. I thought I'd look up some old friends..."

"Stay with me." He just blurted it out while she was in mid-sentence. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't've..." He couldn't finish.

She stood there, in his arms, in shock. She wanted him to pull her closer and tell him that she would stay, but instead, she pushed herself away from him.

"I knew this was a mistake. I knew it when you kissed me at the club. What is it that you want? One last chance to sleep with me?"

"Anya, no..."

"Well, it's not gonna happen," She interrupted him. She didn't want to hear anymore of his lies, and she didn't want to give him a chance to tell any.

She pulled away from him and got into her car.

"You know, Jack, next time you want to try to get an ex in bed, don't feed her the lines she wants to hear. Just don't bother with her at all!" She drove away before he could protest.

He stood in shock watching her speed away.

Why did she let him get to her so much!?

She sat on the hood of her mustang, staring off over the cliff. She thought of his kiss...those soft lips against hers.

"Jack, why did you have to come back into my life?" Her voice is a soft whisper, and she hears a car pull up right next to hers. She takes a sideways glance at the car and sees Jack behind the wheel. He gets out and approaches her.

"What are you doing here, Jack?" Her voice was as cold as ice.

"Honey, do you really have a place to stay tonight?" He was concerned about her; he knew he'd always be.

"Don't call me that! Are you that thick? How many times do I have to tell you NOT to call me that?!"

"I'm sorry..."

"You're sorry, huh? Wanna know how you can make it up to me? LEAVE ME ALONE!" Anger flashed through her eyes; she was losing control. "Why does it matter if I have a place to stay or not? Why should you care?! You're the one that left me, remember?!"

"Anya, please..."

"No, don't! Just leave me ALONE! I don't want you in my life anymore!" She gets off her car and walks toward her door. He takes her hand in his with a pleading look in his eyes. She softens her tone a bit. "Look, don't worry about me. I'll be fine; I can take care of myself...All I have to do is make a few phone calls, then I'll be fine."

She begins to pull her hand from his, but he pulls her to him. He looks into her eyes, his showing that he still loves her. She begins to tremble slightly and falls into his arms. He holds her close to him, holding her head in his hand.

"Love, you don't have enough energy in you to fight with me. Let me get you something to make you a bit stronger." He closes his eyes, hoping she won't decline him. "Come on, let's go." He slowly begins to pull away from her, and then he feels her body ready to give out.

"I can't, Jack." Her voice is barely above a whisper as she clings onto him. She hadn't fed at all that night, and it was taking its toll on her.

"Anya..." He takes her into his arms again, and she wraps her arms around him. She rests her head on his shoulder, not knowing what else to do.

"Love, take some from me. You can't even support yourself." He was really beginning to worry.

"I can't... It's not right." Even though she knew he was right, she couldn't bring herself to take anything from him.

"Just enough so that you have enough strength for yourself. Then, I'll come with you so you can find someone else."

"Jack..." She looked up at him, and closed her eyes. She wasn't completely aware of what she was doing. She just knew what she wanted. She kissed him softly at first, and then with more need. With her fangs exposed, she pierced his tongue, and his blood flowed into her mouth. She drank from him while enjoying his soft lips upon hers. She moved down to his neck and pierced his skin. She heard him moan softly as his essence of life entered her mouth. He held her tightly to him, never wanting to let her go. She was giving him pure ecstasy. She began to regain her strength and her senses. She licked the wound shut, and withdrew her lips from him.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry." Her voice was stronger, and she tried to pull away from him.

"What are you sorry for?" His eyes were sparkling because he could still taste her kiss.

"I shouldn't have done that..." Her voice trailed off as she looked into his eyes. His arms were still around her, and he wasn't ready to let her go just yet. Jack's hands went up to her shoulders, slid down her arms, and took her hands in his. She was hypnotized by him again. He began to walk, and she walked with him.

They walked for miles, the people in the passing cars not even seeing them; they were like a blur. They walked hand in hand until she stopped dead in her tracks. He let go of her hand, and she went racing into the forest. No one was around for miles, or so it seemed. After about ten minutes or so, she calmly walked out of the woods and walked back to him. Neither said a word; they just walked hand in hand back to the car.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me tonight." She embraced him and gave him a long passionate kiss, one both of them wouldn't forget for a long time. Her eyes were sparkling bright as she looked at him.

All her anger towards him had melted away for the moment.

"Love, don't thank me. It was my pleasure. I miss us going together like that. I miss the thrill and the rush I would get from being with you and watching you."

"And yet, you did not follow me tonight....."

"Because I felt it wasn't right for me to." He ran his and over her cheek and licked his fingers. "My, my, my, you have gotten messy, haven't you?"

She laughed. "I guess you're right. I have blood all over me." Looking at him, seeing the way he looked at her, made her want him. She wanted to be with him again.

"Come with me, love. Let's get you cleaned up, and you can stay the night with me."

She agreed, thinking she'd get what she wanted from him, and leave as soon as he fell asleep. They each went to their cars, and she followed him home. Jack carefully unlocked the door to his house, and they entered. Anya went straight to the shower to wash all the blood off her, leaving a trail of her clothes on her way. He watched as her naked, flawless body disappeared behind the bathroom door. He felt as if he was being seduced, he felt a pull towards her, he felt as if she wanted him, he felt.........he didn't know what he felt. He undressed as he slowly made his way to the bathroom. He reached the door, and he turned the golden handle as he heard the shower begin to run. He entered, and the room was already steamed up from the hot water flowing. He saw her silhouette behind the shower curtain, and he couldn't resist. He had to be there with her; he had to touch her again. He gently pulled the shower curtain aside and went in, standing behind her. She had a smile on her face, knowing what would end up happening from this little escapade. He wrapped his arms around her small waist and kissed her shoulder.

"Hope you don't mind me intruding, love. I thought I might help you clean up." He smiled even though he thought she might just flip out on him for invading her privacy like this.

She turned around and looked at him, still smiling. She got as close to him as was allowed and kissed him deeply.

"Does it seem like I mind, Jack?"

A rush went through his body as he felt her against him. He backed up a little and grabbed the soap to the right of him. He poured some into his hands and began to lather it on her body. He missed touching her, feeling her in his arms. She let him run his hands all over her body, washing away the blood that ran down her body from the water. He was aroused just by the sight of her. He began to wonder if this entire night was just some glorious dream he'd awake from in the morning.

"It's not a dream, honey. I'm here with you. All this really is happening." She spoke to him in his mind. They always had that connection between them.

She stepped back under the water, rinsing off the lather from the soap. He took the shampoo and turned her around so that she had her back to him. He began to wash her hair, and once again, she stepped back to rinse it off. Not a word was spoken between them; the need for it never came. She turned to face him, and placing her hands on his waist, she pulled him to her and sank her teeth into his neck while he did the same to her. It was ecstasy for both of them.