Seeking Advice

I'm not sure if my story will help anybody in a similar situation, but for what it's worth here it is. My husband walked out on me ten years ago, at the time our son was eleven. In all that time I had never been in a serious relationship in fact I had rarely been out with another man. I concentrated all my love and attention on Carter my son. Gradually I became frustrated and began looking for solace on the internet. I discovered the Literotica web site and began reading stories gradually drifting towards the incest section and mother son stories in particular. Why mother and son, because I realized about two years ago I became infatuated with my son and now he is twenty one I am in love with him and want him to love me back. Unfortunately he didn't seem to show any interest, oh he loved me as a mother, but I wanted more, much more.

I read a story which seemed to sum up my situation perfectly and sympathetic to my circumstances. I emailed the author to determine if he would be able to advise me what actions could be taken to realize my dream. Never having contacted anybody before I was unsure of the reception I would receive, but my first hurdle was how to contact him. Him, I'm sure it was written by a man by the way he wrote and the slant he put on his writings. There was no email address it looked as if I needed to go through the web site, so I sent him a short message asking if there was any possibility we could talk.

The reply I received was encouraging in which he said, "I don't mind corresponding with people however, I'm a little careful now because several times I have received unwarranted emails. I write for my own pleasure, if people like to read my stories that's fine, if people don't like them that's also fine. You can't please all of the people all of the time, you can only please some people some of the time. In the short time I have been submitting stories I have received abuse in the comments section, mainly from anonymous sources. I've even had complaints about the title, with one complainant even admitting that they had not read the story, why is it some people are so stupid? I no longer bother looking at the comments because I cannot understand why people are so abusive or even critical, after all they are only stories.

"Some authors are good and some not so good but at least they made the effort to provide a service, but what these critics do not seem to appreciate is that they, the readers, drive the authors and not the other way round. If nobody read these stories, it's unlikely they would get written and certainly not get published. With a specific scenario there are only so many ways that it can be written about, with the authors trying different ways to make their stories interesting. Critics complain that some stories are sick, however no matter how sick you think a story is, somewhere that very sexual act, and worse, has happened over and over again, and fact is stranger than fiction, and there are none so sick, as humans.

"I have never read a story where after the sexual act one participant murders the other, but it happens in real life, ask those human traffickers and religious fraternity. The vulnerable are at risk from abductors, to be sold into slavery, or forced into prostitution, where are those critic's voices then? Let's get things into prospective. That apart, I do like to check how many people have read my stories and how many people have added them to their favorites, and generally pleased how my stories have been received. I have an email address for correspondence which at one time I gave out straight away, but now before doing so, I correspond through the web site as we are doing until I have confidence in the person I'm corresponding with."

He went on to say that if I was still interested in corresponding would I provide him with a code name by which he could call me. According to him should I wish to discontinue our association all I needed to do was stop sending emails, as he only replies to emails not initiate them. In my second email I referred to myself as Caroline and my son as Carter and I explained that I had fallen in love with Carter but he doesn't seem to be romantically interested in me, and was there any possible way to determine if he has any sexual feelings for me. Scooter, that's my code name for the author, because he could take me in any direction I wished to go, said, "If you are asking me for ideas about how you can judge your sons feeling or encourage him to have similar feelings for you, as you have for him, then you would need to give me a great deal of personal information about yourself and your son. For instance, I would need you to tell me how you perceive your son, and how you think your son perceives you. Questions like, do you know if your son watches you move around the house, and where are his eyes mainly looking, your face, breasts, butt or legs? Does he have girlfriends?

"Questions for you would be, if you've had men friends does your son know about them? If the opposite applies would he think you frigid? In private do you call him by his given name or an endearing name, sweetie, sweetheart, darling that sort of thing? Then there's the physical side with regard to your looks the way you dress, do you think you would have to change things about yourself, change your image? The whole process is extremely invasive and you may discover things and feelings you may eventually regret, it requires some serious thinking about. Quite frankly you have all the necessary information at your fingertips, it would be much more sensible and discrete for you to carry out your own evaluation. I could give you some tips on what to look for to evaluate Carter, but you would have to do a self-evaluation."

To be quite honest he frightened me a bit, I never considered that I would have to give out personal details. However, when I thought about it, he doesn't know me, and he doesn't know Carter, so how could I expect him to evaluate our feelings and thoughts. The problem was; how can a person evaluate someone's thoughts about them, especially when the subject is taboo, anti-social and unlawful. No son in his right mind would think about having sex with his mother; well that was my thinking at the time. I struggled for a week trying to make a decision, I was unhappy to give Scooter our personal details, but on the other hand our identity and location did not seem to be at risk, we were a non-entity just lines of text on a screen. I didn't feel confident that I could carry out my own evaluation, so the choice was either exposure or frustration. The more I looked at my son and pictured myself in his arms, the more I drifted towards exposure, while confident I could back out at any time.

I waited a month before emailing Scooter to test to see if he would contact me, he never did which gave me a little more confidence that I could end our association at any time. Finally I wrote to him suggesting that perhaps he could help me in my quest, if I was prepared to provide the information he required to determine my son's attitude towards me. In the email I answered some of his original questions. Carter is an athletic good looking guy who plays football for his college and has had numerous girlfriends, but I don't think he is going out with anyone at this time. I haven't noticed if he watches me or pays undue attention as I move around the house or sitting quietly. Whenever we are, alone or in company, I always use his given name, in this case I would be calling him Carter. As for me, in ten years you could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've been on a date, and never with the same man twice. I wouldn't have thought Carter would think me frigid, but I couldn't be certain. I'm Mrs. Average, reasonable looks, dress sensibly, have an acceptable figure, but, to the best of my knowledge I've never had a man stare or turn to look at me twice because of my sex appeal.

His first email acknowledge my answers and informed me that initially the questions would be general but gradually become extremely personal, and if I was uncomfortable in answering them to discontinue with my quest. Scooter began by suggesting that if I was serious about having a relationship with my son I should consider birth control and take "The Pill." He also assumed that I was a single parent family, and asked if I was a stay at home or working mom, full or part time. He wanted to know if I was computer literate, inasmuch, did I have the capability and facility to scan or print off documents from the internet. He also wanted to know if Carter was ever alone in the house on a regular basis and for any extensive periods of time. His final instructions were to occasionally call Carter sweetie. I confirmed that I was a single parent working full time, computer literate with the knowledge and facility to scan or print off documents from the internet. Each weeknight I arrive home two hours after Carter, and Saturday morning's I go shopping while Carter remains in the house alone. I confirmed that when appropriate I would start to call Carter Sweetie.

You need to understand that over time many emails flew back and forth and I can't keep writing, he said, I said, he wrote, I replied, it becomes boring so I'm going try to write what happened in sequence as a story, but remember the whole thing was a lot more fragmented than how its written.

First off Scooter wanted to know about my relationship with my husband. I told him when we married I was young and had lived a sheltered life and was inexperienced and unknowledgeable in the rituals of sex. I refused to perform oral sex, I also refuse to allow him to tie me up and perform anal sex, and believed that was the cause of him seeking solace with other women, which eventually led to him leaving me. I've learnt my lesson I wouldn't let that happen again. The questioning started to become weird, Scooter wanted to know if had I any reason to suspect that Carter, when alone in the house, was wandering around my bedroom, opening drawers, looking, touching things. He certainly had the opportunity. The same thing was asked about the laundry basket, where was it kept, was there any chance that Carter was handing my lingerie, perhaps even wearing it?

For my part it was totally inconceivable he would be doing such things. I thought it underhanded when it was suggested that I set traps for him, but nevertheless I did it anyway. In the laundry basket I laid certain items of lingerie in a specific pattern then took a photograph on my mobile to compare with the following days. The same procedure was carried out in my lingerie drawer and the drawer containing my lady products.

The spotlight turn to me, he asked if I had previously tried to seduce Carter. He wanted to know if either of us casually touched the other, say by putting a hand on the others arm, touching the others face, if sitting close, on the others thigh? If I wasn't touchy feely with Carter then I should start doing it. He also stressed it was important that if we developed a sexual relationship it be kept secret, could Carter be trusted to keep the secret? Scooter wanted to know, that when the time was right and an encouraging situation began to develop, was I in a financial position to buy a few clothes. Initially he thought a skirt, a particular special bullet bra, sweater and a lingerie set consisting of a sexy bra and matching panties.

The night after setting the traps for Carter, when I arrived home from work, I compared the way the clothes were lying in the laundry basket against the picture on my phone. I was a little disappointed since it seemed that nothing had been disturbed, which also applied to my lingerie drawer and the drawer I kept all my lady products in. However the second night, items had been disturbed in each of the three locations and perhaps other drawers as well but I had no picture to compare them with. My heart began to race, I was physically shaking, my legs seeming unable to support me, forcing me to sit on the bed so that I could place my head between knees to overcome the sensation of feeling faint.

Carter must have been concerned thinking I had been missing for some time, because he shouted up the stairs, "You ok mom?"

Without thinking I called out "Yes darling I'll be down in a minute." Closing the drawers and shutting the lid on the laundry basket I became curious about exactly what he could be doing with my clothes and things. My underwear he could handle feeling the fabric, smell them, but that didn't sound very erotic, wrap them around his manhood using them to masturbate, and Scooter mentioned wearing them. I tried to picture Carter lying on my bed wearing my bra and underwear masturbating. If that was the case I could check the bed and my lingerie for semen stains. I had to stop and slowly get my bearings because I was becoming aroused just thinking about him wearing my lingerie. Eventually when I drifted down stairs to get dinner I found myself looking at Carter in a different light.

Before my communications with Scooter I was naive, but because I had been pre-warned what to look for I began to notice things which previously would never have registered. During dinner, with Carter sitting opposite me I began to realize that he was stealing glances at my breasts. Carter was telling me about his day at college and how it was one of those days where everything went wrong. I slipped my hand across the table and patted his hand in an attempt to console him. When I touched him it was like receiving an electric shock. A picture of him lying naked on my bed with me wearing black lacy lingerie, lying half across him kissing him while massaging his manhood, flash across my mind. I could feel the sensation of our lips being pressed together, and my hand wrapped around his pride and joy as it slipped up and down.

I received my next set of instruction informing me that it was time to make a few purchases. Scooter was very specific when it came to me buying a bra, suggesting that I look online for a vintage, 1940 -- 1950 satin pointed bra otherwise referred to as a bullet bra. It was important that it should be kept hidden from Carter until the appropriate time to wear it. It was also necessary for me to purchase a tight sweater to complement the bra, which didn't need to be kept hidden. Finally I was to purchase a black satin and lace lingerie set, consisting of a bralette and matching panties which I had to wear for a day then place it in the laundry basket to create a trap. Ensuring that I took a photograph of it on my phone for a further comparison. The skirt was another issue which would be attended to after the current purchases had been received.

Friday evening Carter was sitting in the chair, all my purchases had been received and the special bra hidden away. I stood in front of Carter and began to implement the plan Scooter devised. "Sweetie can I ask you for your opinion, and you must be truthful you won't hurt my feelings because I'm not sure of the answer, never having considered it before."

"Sure mom what is it?"

"A female colleague at work has said that I need to wear shorter skirts. I'm not really influenced by her and can see no reason why I should wear shorter skirts, but I do value your opinion and I'd like to know what you think."

"Mom from what I've seen you have nice legs and I think you ought to become a little more modern and wear shorter skirts."

I asked Carter, but he had no idea what length of skirt I should wear. I suggested, that if I got a tape measure and stood in front of him, I could lift my skirt up until he thought it was a suitable height, then he could measure the length of the skirt. I saw his eyes light up as he agreed to assist and I was pretty confident that I anticipated his intentions. I lifted my skirt a little, Carter said, "Higher," I raised it higher, and higher, and higher, if I raised much higher I would be displaying my underwear. The next time he said higher I laughed and told him he was naughty, Scooter having already warned me about not calling my son a naughty boy, saying it was defamatory because of what I was trying to achieve. We settled on a height and Carter knelt in front of me and measured the length of the skirt, while sliding a hand up my leg beneath the skirt. I didn't want to chastise or discourage him but I needed to stop him before he went too far. I thanked him for the measurement turned and walked away returning the tape measure to where I found it.

I persuaded Carter to take me shopping Saturday morning, the plan was for me to model several skirts and for him to pick the one he preferred. It was while modelling the skirt that I was hoping to encourage his sexual interest in me. A year or so ago I bought an extremely soft bra which I had hardly worn because it lacked support, allowing my breasts, much to my embarrassment, to flop and bounce around while I walked. Friday night I tried it on again only this time I wore my new tight sweater over the top and my high heeled stilettos, then watched myself in the mirror walking around my bedroom. I couldn't help thinking if he doesn't find the sight of my breasts bouncing around stimulating, and notice my nipples as the sweater formed around them, making them completely obvious, he must be either gay or dead.

Saturday morning while I was cooking breakfast Carter wandered into the kitchen and in a matter of seconds his eyes seemed to lock onto my breasts and never left them. While feeling slightly embarrassed with him watching me, I also felt excited convinced that my sex appeal could attract and captivate my son. Later as he drove us to the mall Carter kept taking his eyes off the road to look across at me, stealing glances at my breasts. I suppose it should be considered dangerous, and should have known better. The situation excited me, and my nipples were swollen because of it, with me deliberately encouraging him by turning slightly to give him a better view of my breasts.

At the mall we made our way up to the second floor where the haute couture establishments were located, which is just another name for the higher class clothes shops. We were welcomed by a female sales assistant with whom we discussed the extent of their stock of mini-skirts. When the sales assistant enquired as to the length of skirt, she gave a smug smile when I suggested eighteen inches and became embarrassed when she lowered her eyes to take in my breasts, it was if she could read my mind, and knew of my intentions. She returned with four skirts on hangers and hung them up in the changing room, then held the curtain to one side allowing me to enter. Although the skirt fitted perfectly it felt strange never having worn anything quite so revealing before, except on the beach of course, but then everybody was dressed the same. In this case everybody wasn't dress the same and my neighbors would certainly see the difference in the way I dressed, and probably disapprove.

When I came out of the dressing room Carter was sitting on a chair provided by the sales assistant, she was standing to one side with her hand on his shoulder. I felt severe pangs of jealousy thinking that this woman could be flirting with my son, which made me more determined to provide Carter with a spectacle as I modeled each skirt. I sashayed up and down ensuring each time my stiletto heel impacted the floor the shock vibrated through my body causing my breasts to jiggle around within my bra. Obviously Carter couldn't see the effect as I walked away from him, I could only assume he was watching my butt, but he was certainly looking at my legs and watching my breasts as I approached him. After trying on the four skirts I asked Carter which one he preferred, apparently he didn't like any of them.

Carter asked the sales girl if they had anything in a satin material. According to the girl all they had was a mini-skirt in a charmeuse material which is similar to satin but lighter, softer, the drape a little more liquid and the sheen, slightly more muted. Unfortunately they only had it in a sixteen inch length but he still persuaded me to try it on. Although the material felt fabulous I was conscious of the fact that the hem of the skirt was only just below mid-thigh. I suppose I should have guessed the outcome when Carter had me walking up and down numerous times modelling the skirt and adopting various poses and of course that was his choice. After purchasing the skirt we did a little shopping then Carter took me to lunch, during which I told him of my concerns about wearing the skirt, and the reaction of others towards me. He was amazing and so supportive at the same time reminding me that I had asked for his opinion and was adamant about purchasing the skirt he selected.