Self Defense

We just moved to a new town. My boys were pretty upset with the move, but we had to go where the job took us. Once we got settled, I started looking into clubs or activities they could join. I narrowed it down to a membership at the community center for swimming and other periodic events or martial arts. Martial arts won, hands down. Two boys? Learning how to fight? Yeah, no contest.

That first day, I watched proudly at my kids in their gi while they began their workout. I snapped a few pictures for their dad, who couldn't make it because of his work schedule. I just finished sending my little memories when you sat next to me. I barely glanced, focused on the kids but I was acutely aware of you all the same. Maybe it was because there were still several empty seats and you decided to select the one next to me. Or maybe it was your cologne. Whatever it was, I noticed you but pretended not to.

That was until you spoke. "Which one is yours?" You leaned closer to whisper quietly.

I glanced at you and noticed the arms of your black tee stretching around your large bicep. "Two. The blonde there and the little brunette who is acting like he is in a bad karate movie." I motioned with my head, my arms folded without thought. Perhaps I was already trying to keep myself from you subconsciously. "Yours?"

"The student instructor, there." He pointed to the teen in front of the class helping the senior instructors.

I smiled, "You must be proud. It's our first day." I laughed when my youngest fell in mid kick but got right back up like he was having the time of his life.

"I am." You confirmed and we watched silently for a few more minutes.

"First day. Are you new to town?"

"Yeah, just a few weeks ago."

We chit chatted politely. Small talk. Nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, I'd had almost the same conversation several times over the past few weeks. Where we moved from. What brought us here. How do we like it. Innocent. But there was something there. Humming under the surface.

At the end of class, we said our goodbyes and I collected my boys. I found myself actually putting make up on for the next class and casually glancing at the door for your arrival and when you did enter, I once again pretended not to notice. I manged to hide my disappointment when you sat behind me instead of either empty seat I'd sat myself between. At the end of class, you nodded my way and I returned a nod before leaving.

I chastised myself for even entertaining my silly thoughts. I was a happily married woman. You were married to, if your wedding band were any indication. Silly. I stopped by the table at the door which held flyers for upcoming special classes. Noting the woman's defense class, I decided to sign up. Why not? It was practical and my boys would get a kick out of mommy learning some moves too.

I arrived that Saturday night and kicked my shoes off at the door. Pulling my long brown hair into a messy ponytail and tugged my tank top back down over my yoga pants. I felt a little self conscious as I looked at the other ladies. Most were trim and fit where I had curves and softness. I was taking a sip from my water bottle when I heard the class being called to a start. I almost spit my water out when I seen it was you were was standing up front with the other two instructors. If I wasn't feeling self conscious before, I certainly was when you looked up and seen me. I noticed a small smile play across your lips that made me dash my eyes away.

I sat cross legged on the mat along with the other ladies and listened to the lead instructor run down some stats and share a few stories. They demonstrated a couple techniques, all made to make us feel like bad asses by the end of the two week course. After a while, we grouped off a few ladies per instructor for a more hands on demonstration. As luck would have it, you were our instructor. I let myself fall to the background while one lady, a blonde who looked like she lived in a gym, volunteered to try out the move first. For whatever reason, it made my stomach turn to see her flirt with you. And she so obviously was flirting. When she went through the move, I was secretly hoping she'd fall on her face. But no luck.

I encouraged the other lady to go next. At least this one wasn't throwing herself at you.

"My goodness." The blonde leaned to whisper conspiratorially to me. And I looked at her like she had two heads. She didn't notice tho. Her eyes were locked on you. "I'd love to come across him in a dark alley." She said as she raked her eyes down your body. I rolled my eyes and kept my head straight ahead.

Finally, it was my turn. I nervously stepped forward. "Be gentle." I teased.

"Where's the fun in that?" You teased back and made the move to grab me.

As instructed, I blocked and grabbed and spun until I was out of the grab. You smiled. "Good. Good. Now..." with your hand on my shoulder you spoke to the other ladies in our small group. "If you attacker comes up to you from behind..." And put yourself behind me. Your body pressed into me. I gulped and tried to focus on the lesson, not the warmth of your body. Or the hardness of your chest and thighs. Or the strength in your arms wrapped around my chest. Slowly. Ever so slowly, you moved showing the possibilities from the aggressors point of view and then went on to show the possible moves we could use to counter the attacks. We weren't far into the demo before I felt your erection pressed against my butt cheek. I tried to pull away a bit so as not to embarrass you but you casually moved me back against it and my body responded in kind.

When my turn was finished, I watched from the side line. You weren't nearly as attentive to the other ladies, especially the blonde. I did find a little satisfaction in that, but it also left me wondering. The lose fitting pants kept your erection hidden, yes, I looked. But I wondered if it were just the friction of our bodies drawing the response or if it were something else. Did the other two also have that effect on you?

At the end of class, we rejoined the others on the mat and I kept feeling your eyes on me. I'd look away shyly only to be pulled back.

"Next Saturday. Same place. Same time." We were dismissed. "Don't forget to check out the other classes we offer." he reminded us. I darted to the mat that held our shoes and collected mine, trying like mad to get outside before I ran into you again.

"Are you signing up for other classes?" You asked, my shoe extended in your hand as I looked up.

I accepted my shoe with a soft 'thanks' and slipped it on. "I don't know yet."

"I teach a few of the ongoing adult courses."

Were you encouraging me to sign up for your classes especially? I walked over to the notebook to flip through the sign up sheets and you pointed out the ones you taught as you came up behind me. Your fingers brushed down my arm. Nonchalant if that had been the only thing that happened that night. But it wasn't, and your nearness only served to remind me of that. I stepped to the side to put some distance between us. It was already dangerous.

"Yeah? I didn't realize you were an instructor here too." I tried to make small talk while I avoided looking directly at you, lest you see the storm of desire and confusion behind my eyes.

"Yeah. I've been assisting for the last couple years. My wife likes it. Gets me out of her hair and she can use the house for one of her crafting meetings or another."

"You're married?" I didn't mean for it to come out so abruptly, or so accusingly. After all, I'd guessed as much already but actually hearing it I felt a bit, betrayed, for lack of a better term.

"Yeah. Why?" You cocked your head to the side as if you were as confused by my reaction as I was.

"Oh" I tried to cover it up and gave my best smile with a shrug, "I guess..."I laughed nervously, "Nothing. I...I better get going. My husband is on kid duty and they can get a little wild at bedtime." Part of me was pleased I could point out I was married as well. "I'll see you."

And with that I was out the door without waiting for your reply. Inside the privacy of my car, I berated myself out loud. "Get it together, Becca. Jesus! One handsome guy smiles at you and you go all school girl? What the hell?!"

My resolve was steel by the time the boys' next class rolled around. I purposely wore no make up. Plain, ordinary clothes befitting a married mother of two. I sat in the corner furthest form the door and plugged in my earbuds while I watched the boys go through the moves. You must have taken the hint because you too sat far away. We did well ignoring each other the other classes and I waited to see which group you'd instruct at the self defense class. Sure, we smiled and nodded politely but we both avoided each other besides that.

The summer progressed and just before school was due to start, the center threw a pizza party and movie night. I left my youngest with his father since it was expected to last until 11 and he would drop off my oldest before it started. since volunteered to help out. Arriving about an hour before the kids were due, I was relieved when I didn't see you. It was growing increasingly difficult to fight the obvious tension between us.

"Put me where you need me, Master Evans." I offered as jobs were being handed out.

"Great. Do you mind picking up the pizzas?"

"Not at all."

"K...John can help since there are so many." Looking over my head. "Here he is now. John?! Can you help Becca run to pick up the pizzas?"

I couldn't even bring myself to turn and look at you. I didn't want anything to show on my face. "Sure." Your voice seeped into my ear and caressed my mind. shit.

I climbed into your car and kept my eyes straight ahead, hands in my lap, sunglasses on.

"I have to swing by my house to grab the movies. I forgot them. It's on the way."

"Ok." Pretending to be interested in the passing buildings and houses until we pulled into your drive way.

You put the car in park and it was silent. You made no move to get out of the car so I finally turned to look at you. "Becca." The way you said my name took my breath. It was like a summon and I found myself meeting you half way and in the throws of a passionate kiss before I knew what happened.

Panting I pushed against your shoulders and slammed myself back against the car door. My hands were shaking as I ran my fingers over my mouth, still burning from your kiss. "I can't. I..." My whole body was brimming with need. Desire coursed through my veins like volcanic lava threatening to consume everything in it's wake.

I heard the door close and looked over at your empty seat. What the hell was I doing?

The rest of the trip was deathly quiet. We returned to the center. Set up. Helped out. Talked to others. But I was just going through the motions. I couldn't get that kiss off my mind.

During the movie, I slipped away to be alone. Inside the ladies room I stared at myself in the mirror for the longest time until you appeared behind me. I whirled around, half expecting you not to be there, but there you were. Your presence pulsing inside the small room. "What are you doing? This is the ladies' room!" I hissed in a whisper.

"I can't help it. I want you, Becca. I fucking want you bad." You stepped closer and I pressed myself against the sink. "You want me too. I can see it. I can smell it."

"Don't be ridiculous, John. The kiss...it was a mistake." I tried to step around you but you took a step to block me. I stepped the other way and there you stood. "Move."

"Becca." Your arm went around my waist. "Kiss me again. One more kiss and tell me you don't feel it. This fucking crazy, intense chemistry we have. Tell me you don't and I walk away. That's it."

"I most certainly will not! I am married!" I started into your eyes, my brows pinched. "You're married!"

"Then I'll kiss you." And you did. Your body pressed into mine, pushing me back against the wall. You took my mouth violently. Possessively. Smashing my lips into my teeth and your tongue speared into my mouth. I shoved and pushed but you kept kissing. To my chagrin, I kissed you back with match animalistic, primal, raw desire. Your mouth traveled down my neck, kissing, sucking, biting until I was whimpering and panting. Twisting your shirt up in my fists while I attempted to climb your body.

"John" I sighed and then stopped still. Another man's name coming from my mouth, my voice so laden with lust, sounded like someone else's. "Stop. I can't" Your hand snaked up under my shirt and roughly grouped my breast through my bra. My hard nipple digging into your palm. "John. Stop it. No!" I shoved and didn't even manage to make you budge an inch. I felt panic close in around my chest. "Stop it!"

I tried fighting you off. Funny I didn't remember one single defensive move you, yourself taught me. "Shhhhh. Becca. It's ok....shhhh."

"No!"I cried and slapped at you. "Don't do this. Please."

I didn't even realize my bra was down until your mouth descended on my nipples. One and then the other you ravenously devoured. I was scared and humiliated. Ashamed. Because in spite of my fear, I was aroused. I knew it. I felt my nether lips glide along each other with every move I made to fight you off of me. I bit the inside of my cheek to hold back my moans until metallic liquid flooded my mouth.

You moaned and grunted as you feasted on my breasts while I watched in rapt fascination. My hips pushed against yours, in protest at first but once I realized the pressure of my sex against your thigh sent a jolt of pleasure down my spine, I did it again. What is wrong with me? I can't enjoy this. I am married. This is rape.

Both of my wrists were held above my head, smashed against the wall. Your fingers biting into my tender flesh. The pain didn't stop me from fighting tho. I had to. I couldn't just let it happen. I couldn't. Maybe if I stopped fighting, you'd stop. You'd come to your senses or maybe I could gain enough room to finally escape you.

The elastic band shorts I wore offered little resistance so you yanked them down easily. I panicked. I kicked and bucked. I bumped against your already naked sex. When did you even take your pants down?

Knock knock. We both froze and stared at the door. "Yeah?" I called out.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know it was occupied."

"I'll..." You slid inside me then. I swallowed hard and cleared my throat. "I'll be out in a few. There is another...bathroom" I tried to keep my voice steady and you slid in and out of me tight warmth. "on the other side of the gym."

I looked back at you as we heard her walk away. Why didn't I scream? Call for help?

"Fuck. Becca."

"You gotta stop, John." My voice betrayed my words. Each syllable was laced with moans and whimpers as your cock invaded my depths.

"Just this once." You promised and released my wrists to grab my hips as you started to pound in and out of me in earnest. Each thrust of your pelvis hit my clit. My body was a traitor. Lighting bolts of pleasure like I'd never experienced shot through me and my walls began to tighten around you. I blinked against the tears that were brimming over, spilling down my cheeks. I reasoned with myself, plead, begged my body to behave but to my horror a tightness began deep inside of me, one I knew I could not hold back as I tumbled, fell, plunged over the edge.

I shrieked against your shoulder and dug my nails into your biceps as I came in spite of myself. Moaning and mewing in pleasure as my orgasm rocked through me. Humiliation burned my cheeks. How appropriate. Red, like the Scarlet Letter. My face wore my sin. I was being taken against my will and I fucking loved it.

"Fuck yes. God." You grunted and pistoned in and out of me. Rolling your hips on the down stroke that sent little after shocks through my body. That one groan made me snap my head back, back to attention.

"Don't, John. You can't." My fighting began again. More determined than ever to stop you. You didn't know, couldn't know that my husband and I had been actively trying to have another baby. But my protests died in the stale air of the ladies' rest room as I felt you twitch and pulse. Felt that powerful rope of semen splatter my womb.

"I...I'm sorry." You at least looked apologetic. "I can't...fuck...I can't stop. Becca!!" Shot after shot of steaming seed released deep inside my fertile womb.

"Oh God." I called out. You may have misunderstood it as a sign of enjoyment but it was a prayer that your potent seed not get me pregnant.

Once you'd emptied yourself inside me, eased out and handed me a wad of paper towel to clean myself. You had no idea that the damage was already done.

"I...I'm sorry." You apologized again as we got dressed.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said coldly. I had to be cold. I couldn't let this happen again in spite of our undeniable attraction.

"But, I want to see you again. This can't be the only time."

"John." I sighed. How could I explain to you what I didn't even understand. "We will be missed soon if we don't get back." I didn't agree to see you again, but I didn't tell you no, either.

I cracked the door open and looked down the hall. With the coast clear, I went back to join the others.