Sexual Deviancy as a Biological Imp

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‘screwed the pooch.
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fanfare
fanfare
101 Followers

Author's note: Written sexual activity is only engaged in by responsible fictional adults of 18 fictional years or older. Wearing a condom. Even when not engaged.

Excuse me but I do not quite understand what you are complaining about?

Okay, let me see if I got this straight, you are complaining that, that man over there is a sexual deviant, am I correct?

Okay, specifically you are accusing him of being a homosexual?

You mean he wants to have sex with other homosexuals or are you afraid that he wants to have sex with men in general?

Uhhuh, uhmm, does that mean that as a male homosexual he is attracted to other male homosexuals or are you afraid he may be attracted to you as a male in general?

So, if he only has sexual relations with other male homosexuals, then you should not fear he will insist on sex with you in specific. Unless you are also a male homosexual?

Or, are you complaining because he does Not seem to find you, in the slightest, sexually attractive?

Well then, okay. You realize that you should not fear him being attracted to you personally. After all you do know how to say no? Can you spell N_O?

Or, are you frighten that he may be physically stronger then you and coerce you into having sex with him?

Ahh, I see. You are not afraid for yourself. You are so strong and manly. Especially after you have consumed a pitcher or three of lite beer.

You could easily fight off a horny faggot. Uhhhh, it's hard to hear the difference whether your cries are those of pain or pleasure. {cough} I'll just leave you two alone to work it out between you.

Back to our discussion. Your concern is for other males, especially 18 year old boys who might be seduced or coerced into sexual deviancy.

So you will keep those 18 year old boys close to you under your protection and in a manly way convince them that they can only trust your good intentions? Uhh, huh.......

Do you understand the difference between homosexuality in general and pederasty in specific? Because what you seem to advocate is a sexual affair with an 18 year old boy, using the excuse of protecting him from homosexuals?

Okay, thank you for clearing that up, I was getting quite concerned for your inability to coherently articulate your intentions.

You absolutely reject all forms of sexual activities by 18 year old adolescents! Instead, you demand that 18 year old adolescents should be isolated from ALL adult sexual activities and should be carefully monitored to insure that no deviant or for that matter any sexual contact be engaged in between between 18 year old adolescents, of whatever gender or possible combination thereof.

Since the greatest concern you seem to have is homosexual acts, do you suggest that 18 year old boys should be monitored by heterosexual women and 18 year old girls should be monitored by heterosexual men? No?

Okay, uhmm. How about this, 18 year old girls should be monitored by homosexual men and 18 year old boys should be monitored by homosexual women?

Sooo, now where are we? I guess we could completely isolate all 18 year old adolescents from all adults and have the 18 year old adolescents cared for and monitored by robots? Carefully programmed to prevent any sexual activity by their charges.

Since you are absolutely certain that only you, yourself are competent to be entrusted with the raising of 18 year old adolescents. How about, are you competent to write the programming for those robots? No? Then how will you verify the security of code written by other people?

I am curious, if a homosexual is attracted only to other homosexuals, does this mean a male homosexual would want to have sexual relations with a female homosexual? Or, Vice a Versa? snicker

No? He is defined as a homosexual because he is male and he only or at least usually, wants to have sex with other homosexual men? Or, would he also want to have sex with heterosexual men?

A homosexual female only wants to have sex with other homosexual females? Or, would she also want to have sex with heterosexual women?

Now are we talking about 'conscious want' to have sex with the same sex or the 'instinctive urge' to have sex with the same sex or the 'physical ability' to have sex only with the same sex?

Okay, so it is physically possible for homosexuals to have sexual relations with the opposite sex?

You are claiming that they choose to engage in deviant sexual practices, which you define as anything other then what you call 'normal' sex. Which you define as sex only for reproductive purposes with the opposite sex?

No recreational sex, including between heterosexuals of the opposite gender, will be tolerated by you!

That flat statement might go over better if you would stop fondling your little wanker. Pull up your pants and Please! Go wash your hands! We'll wait.........dum, dum,dumptydumdum.....thanks, thats a lot better.

Does that mean if a heterosexual chooses to have anything but what you define as 'normal' heterosexual sex, they are also a deviant?

There is a local bar, dominated by a local biker gang, who are always loudly bragging about how many different ways they've 'screwed the pooch' this week. Could you please come by and explain to them why such crude activities are an anti-social faux pas and that you will no longer tolerate such rude, deviant behavior from them.

Be sure to wear those cute, tight leather pantaloons you have in the back of your closet for these 'special' occasions. A classy sense of style would certainly encourage the bikers into appreciating your awesomeness!

Thanks, you're my hero!............. Oooohhh, that pool cue, inserted there, has to be very uncomfortable for you?

Anywayyyy, where were we? Oh yes. I wonder, would that include heterosexuals who have sex with the same sex because you implied that it was 'normal' for homosexual sex between same sex partners.

Yes, you did. When you claimed that homosexuals choose to be attracted to the same physical sex. Therefore, logically that must be their normal state. For them, maybe not for the rest of us, maybe, maybe not.

Frankly after all the gibberish you've been spouting, I am becoming very skeptical of your actual sexual orientation!

I'm curious for your opinion, if a homosexual is only attracted sexually to other homosexuals of the same sexual organs, but only has actual sexual congress with members of the opposite sex, would that limited activity somehow convert them to being a heterosexual?

Actually, per the logic chain you have going, wouldn't such a practice qualify as deviancy against homosexuality?

That brings up something that personally effects me. If the homosexual men are only seeking sex with other homosexual men, does that not mean that there are fewer men competing with me for the available females?

Hotdiggetydawg! So it would be to my advantage as a heterosexual male to encourage male homosexuality and protect them from abusive assholes such as yourself?

I get to reproduce more, Social Darwinism and all that.

Yet you demand that I assist you in violently suppressing homosexual behavior?

Why would I want to do that? What is wrong with more women for me?

Are you saying I should refuse heterosexual relations because you hate homosexuals and somehow my having sex with more women winds up encouraging more homosexual behavior? Huh???

Since I am capable of sex with all women, therefore it should be unnecessary for me to discourage female homosexual acts? Cause I really get off on Lesbian porn. Hmmm, does that make me a lesbian?

Curiosity ate this pussy. If I could somehow {Please Lord, one more favor before I die!} convince a nice lesbian to voluntarily have sex with me. Would my having sex with her, change me from a heterosexual male to a homosexual?whatever?

If she refuses penile insertion, any where, while allowing oral and digital sexual practices {external only!} would this qualify as deviant sexual practices? Yummy!

If she was extra-generous and did permit penile insertion where ever {Oh gawd! Oh gawd! Thank you gawd. You're the Man!} does this somehow convert her from homosexuality to heterosexuality? What if I fail to talk her into admitting she may have had an orgasm?

Oh, bye the way. I understand that your understanding of human biology is very limited by that cult of primitive ignorance you profess to worship at. But, do you understand that homosexuality is not a contagious disease?

No matter how much Rash Limpox and Glenda Peckerwood insist they have the penile injections to cure it in 18 year old nubile adolescents of waifish stature. Such as your 18 year old adolescent, oh you already sent him over. They'll get him straighten out, I'm sure.

Maybe, if I was a mediocre lover, usually heterosexual women might try lesbian sex to see if it is any better?

Oh wait, now I get it! Your incompetency as a heterosexual male has encouraged the women in your life to seek out female lovers. Glad we got that straight...........sorry, I'm addicted to bad punning.

Okay, let me throw out a hypothesis that would assist all of us in understanding your violent rejection of homosexual practices.

The most rational explanation for your behavior would be that you realize that you are at the shallow end of the gene pool.

Without a larger school of males to hide in, to conceal your true reproductive mediocrity, it would be much more difficult for you to take advantage of unsuspecting females.

Which is the only possible way you could take one, at least temporarily until one of us better endowed males comes along and takes her away from you.

Hell, you ought to be use to that by now.

Fewer heterosexual males, you really would stand out as a reject next to the rest of us still competing for females.

And now the females would be numerous enough to school-up in mutual protection against losers like you.

Obviously this is the fault of the homosexuals.

God forbid that you would be capable of the insight to hold that inbred clan of jukes and kallikaks you are descended from, to any scale of responsibility for your genetic inferiority.

Here's Your Sign!

fanfare
fanfare
101 Followers
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sensaninsensaninover 9 years ago
Ah, the wit!

There's that wit I've come to expect from Fanfare's stories. If you like to laugh, and enjoy funny quips, I highly recommend this story. Very funny!

CleardaynowCleardaynowover 10 years ago
Please, please delete this!

And put it where it is needed – in Loving Wives.

You know that is where they hang out, clustering like flies round a horse’s eyes. They just make brief forays into neighbouring areas.

To make sure it is appropriate you could put in some gratuitous sex – say between a homosexual (gee ... it turns out he is actually AC/DC) and Neanderthal’s loving spouse.

They even try to claim Loving Wives for their own exclusive use, defecating round the area to mark their territory. I do wish some of them could understand that ‘Loving Wives’ is a play on words. Quite witty. The clue is in the descriptive words that follow – extra-marital fun.

There are at least 12 meanings. Are the wives the subject or object of loving? Is the other party the husband? Is loving agape, romantic love or just old fashioned fucking (as in ‘I am a love machine’)? So 12 possibilities – at least. It only seems to exclude extramarital stories about husbands who hate and don’t have sex with their wives (cannot be many of them), and who have sex with single women – or other men. Damn – I was thinking of writing one of those.

I suspect few of them venture into the Humour hub, a sense of humour not being their strong point. Though possibly a bit of back slapping good ol’ boy humour appeals to them if it involves the degradation of women – or of homosexuals – or of cuckolds – or of cock sucking faggots who write stories too big for the good ol’ boys’ stunted brains – or of Jews – or of... Quite a long list really. Humiliation is the thing. Oh and of course all the women below the age of 70 absolutely must think the ‘hero’ (in their minds themselves) is the most wonderful man the women have ever met and they are all dying but dying to fuck with him. On second thoughts scrub the upper age limit.

I would give this story 5*, only I do not want to impede your valiant attempts to achieve the lowest scores on record.

Keep writing. Please.

fanfarefanfareover 10 years agoAuthor
note from author

I must admit to being torn, the title used by Literotica is incorrect.

The correct title is "Sexual Deviancy as a Biological Imperative"

I probably screwed something up during my posting. Oh, that poor, tired pooch! Maybe the title was just too, too many digits?

I have made clear my loathing for peoples reliance on spellcheck and other editing programs. It's just, well sometimes those autofill functions will put the wrong word in the right context and the resulting malapropism is hilarious.

So "Sexual Deviancy as a Biological Imp" does have a certain charming je ne sais quoi that leaves me chuckling with the unattended humor of it.

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