Shadows of Resentment Ch. 04

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has taken time to read this story. I am having a terrific time writing this tale. I want to thank Mokkelke for helping keep me on track with this and helping me learn more about writing. I want to thank my editor, LaRascasse, for simply being willing to work with me. You two guys are the best. There are many other people who have supported me in writing this tale and I want to take time to thank all of you.

Now with great pride, I present to you chapter four. I certainly hope you enjoy this chapter. Please remember to vote and comment. Feedback is always appreciated and welcomed.

Let's Talk About It

A couple of hours after Jasmine went to work, Darius held Deidre in his arms. He felt so elated that a woman as beautiful as she would be the mother of his children. Darius would convince her to marry him of that he had no doubt.

They talked about everything and nothing at the same time. Neither one wanted to talk about the elephant in the room; the fact that Darius' uncontrolled behavior put a man in the hospital.

Deidre knew that Darius felt guilty, but guilt did not excuse his behavior. She wasn't about to agree to be with him if he didn't do something about his need to control everything and everyone.

Taking a deep breath and steeling her resolve, Deidre decided to just be honest. "Darius, I've got to be honest. I'm worried about you. Your temper, it's out of control and you need to get help."

"Please, I know I need help. Please don't give up on me. I need you Dee. I know my anger is a serious problem and I need to take control of it, and I'm trying. I'm going to anger management sessions four days a week and seeing Dr. Chin regularly. " Darius explained in an exasperated tone. "I've talked with Dr. Chin about it in therapy and he has helped me realize that my anger is not really at others, but I often become frustrated when I feel like I am not the one in charge." He continued.

Deidre sat patiently and listened. She knew Darius wanted to tell her everything and she didn't want him to feel pressured.

Deidre grew up around Darius' family, so she remembered when he and Derrick stopped being friends with Cameron in Junior High. The three boys had some sort of fight and Darius decided that Cameron wasn't their friend anymore.

"I remember that you guys were best friends when we were kids and then you had got into a fight about something. What happened?" Deidre asked.

Deidre felt that the cause of all of this pain and resentment started years ago and the only way to help it heal was to get it out in the open.

Darius took a deep breath. The story he was about to share with her was one that he had only shared with Dr. Chin. But he knew that he could trust her and he wanted her to know that. So he told her his deepest, darkest, secret.

"When we were kids, I loved Cameron as much as I love Derrick and Sierra. He was like another brother to me. When we were fourteen, some people started calling Derrick and me Oreos: you know black on the outside, white on the inside. They accused us of no longer acting black, but acting like white boys because of our friendship with Cameron. At first, I ignored it, because, Cameron was our friend, and I didn't care what anyone thought." Darius paused and let that tidbit of information sink in.

Closing his eyes, Darius remembered the fatal decision that caused him his best friend. "Do you remember Adena Johnson?"

Deidre nodded. No one would ever forget Adena. She was beautiful, but as mean and nasty as a snake. By the time everyone graduated, Adena had committed some heinous atrocity against everyone who crossed her path.

Darius continued. "I liked Adena and she seemed to like me too. One day we were at Oak Park shooting hoops when she saw us hanging out with Cameron walked over to join us. We talked and I got up the courage to ask her to hang with us. A few weeks later was her birthday and she had a get together with her friends. She invited Cameron, but not Derrick nor me, to go to the movies with them. I was hurt and angry because Cameron should have told her no. Some guys found out and said I was letting "white boy beat me out" and I was angry."

"I ordered Cameron to break the date and not go to the movies with her. He laughed at me. I told him if he didn't break the date, our friendship was over." Deidre gasped. This was utterly ridiculous. No woman or girl was worth destroying a lifelong friendship over.

He stopped and looked into Deidre's eyes, and could see her disappointment. But Darius soldiered on. "He walked away and went anyway. That Sunday, at the park, he was bragging about the date. I couldn't let him keep punk me, so I jumped him and that ended our friendship."

Later, I learned that his Mom died that night, but I had too much pride to go to him. When my friend needed me the most, I abandoned him, and then forced Derrick to choose. Derrick tried to talk to me, but I wouldn't listen. Time past and we never really spoke again." Darius concluded his tale.

Deidre was stunned and then she snapped. "You selfish, arrogant, son of a bitch, how dare you treat your friend that way and then you almost beat him to death. Do you honestly think, I'm sorry, will fix this? I knew you had control issues, but this is unbelievable."

Deidre moved away from the staring at him disgustedly asking. "How in the hell are you not in prison?"

"Mayor Smythe helped me get a reduced sentence when he made a deal with the District Attorney for Jake. The District Attorney felt that if Jake was going to get a lighter sentence and everything was really his fault. There was no reason to ruin anyone else's life.

I went to court and the judge saw that I didn't have a criminal record, and reduced my sentence. Since jails are overcrowded and this was an isolated incident, I got five years. He suspended them and put me on five years' probation. I can't leave the city without permission and I have two years of mandatory behavior modification along with anger and stress management classes.

Since I'm on probation, I'm on house arrest and have to wear a monitor. As well as report in to my parole officer weekly showing that I've been attending my court ordered sessions. If I fail to do any of the sessions I have been ordered to attend, my sentence will be commuted to time in jail. If I want to go out of town, I have to get special permission from my probation officer and someone must be with me. I know I got off way too easy, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to fix the damage I have caused." Darius stopped talking and allowed her time to absorb the information he shared with her.

"You got a slap on the wrist. Jake got a slap on wrist, and Cameron is the only one who really suffered in this and he didn't do anything to deserve it in the first place. I don't know about this. I don't know after talking ..... This is too much." Deidre dropped her head, speaking so quietly he could barely hear her.

Deidre had to make a choice. Should she show him the door or give him a chance? Looking at him, she knew that despite his boorish behavior, he was really a good guy and he deserved a chance. But, if he reverted back in any way, shape, or form, she would definitely drop him as fast as she could.

Darius reminisced on memories from the past; the way he had treated his friend and the outcome of his arrogance. Hours past and before long it was really late and Darius knew he need to head home.

Around midnight, an exhausted Dee was in need of sleep, Darius did not want to leave, but Jasmine told him that it was alright to visit for a while but he needed to head home.

Darius waited for Deidre to get ready for bed and made sure she was tucked in and covered before giving her a kiss and heading home.

"Darius" she whispered. "Come to the doctor's with me tomorrow. Ok. I'll pick you and Sierra up, alright.

Darius smiled, "I wouldn't miss it." He leaned over and kissed her once more before leaving but she refused to let him and pushed him away. It hurt, but Darius understood, so he left.

He went home trying to decide the best way to break the news to his parents and brother. Darius was proud and a little frightened because had his own family to worry about now and he needed to make sure they were safe and protected.

He was excited to be accompanying her to her appointment. He wanted to make sure his son was healthy.

My Brother

Once Darius learned of the gravity of his attack on the wrong person, he was racked with guilt. The first thing Darius did after his release from jail was visit Cameron in the hospital. He knew he had lost control and in his anger attacked and almost killed the man he once considered his brother.

Darius walked into Cameron's hospital room and was stunned by the sight before him. Cameron was unconscious and covered with bandages. Almost all of his skin was covered, and the part that was not covered was bruised, bluish and purple.

He was devastated when he saw the amount of damage he'd done to his friend. Yes, he acknowledged Cameron would forever be his friend. He, Darius Granger, was a pompous little selfish son of a bitch, an ass, a monster who didn't deserve to live, but he loved the man lying in the hospital bed before him. He would find a way to earn Cameron's forgiveness and reestablish their friendship. He knew he had no right to ask for his forgiveness, but he had to try.

He spoke softly to his friend, "I know you have no reason to trust me, but I promise I'll never hurt you like this again. I will make this up to you, but you have to wake up."

"Please, Please, Please," cried Darius, "Just wake up and let us know you're going to be alright." He then leaned forward and kissed his friend's forehead that was covered with bandages. A nurse came in and asked Darius to leave the room, because she needed to check Cameron's vitals.

A few days later, Derrick sat by his friend's hospital bed and began to talk to him, "Cam", he said, "I am so sorry for what happened to you. I know you can hear me. We need you to wake up, man. Please, Cam." speaking softly.

Derrick and Darius made sure that one of them would visit Cameron every day until he woke up.

One Saturday, after Cameron regained consciousness, Derrick was visiting and the two young men chatted for a while. Darius walked in and Cameron immediately became mute and would not respond as the monitors began to beep erratically at his loss of control. The twins quickly got the message, and chose to leave before they upset their friend even more.

Cameron was released from the hospital. Unfortunately, because of the severity of the attack and a severe injury to his spinal column, Cameron was confined to a wheelchair. Although several surgeries had been done to correct the injuries, it was uncertain if he would ever walk again.

Cameron also suffered from other side effects from the beating. He was now frightened by sudden movements and sounds. The only people he interacted with were his father and sister Rosa. He would talk to Mr. and Mrs. Granger when they came to visit, but he rarely left the house.

Sierra visited Cameron so often that a change in her demeanor became blatantly obvious. She spent most of her days dividing her time between visiting Cameron or Deidre.

One afternoon, Sierra came home from visiting with Deidre and announced that she was heading over to sit with Cameron.

"Sierra, wait, I need to talk with you for a minute." Marge said patting the sofa next to her.

"Momma, what's wrong?" Sierra asked. Her mom's behavior was odd and she feared something serious might be going on.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Marge reassured her quickly, "I'm worried about the amount of time you're spending with Cameron. I know he is your friend and it's Ok to visit him, but he shouldn't take over your whole life."

"Momma, you don't understand." Sierra started to explain. "He's important to me. I enjoy spending time with him."

Marge recalled the situation right after Sierra found out how seriously Cameron was hurt. While waiting on the results from the various test the doctors performed on her earlier, the local news was on. The reporter gave a report on the attack and stated that a couple of people were seriously injured. One of the nurses, not realizing Sierra could hear her, stated that Jake Smythe and Cameron Richards were injured. Sierra was extremely upset over Cameron's injuries.

Sierra heard the nurse and became agitated. "Momma, where is Cameron?" Sierra asked. "Momma, he was hurt Momma. They said so on the news. Is he alright? He's has got to be alright." She became so agitated that the nurse ended up sedating her.

Marge recalled how Sierra's face lit up when Cameron was around. How disappointed she was when the boys stopped being friends. She remembered how adamant Sierra was months before when Cameron needed a ride home after the semi-finals basketball game.

When Sierra learned that he was being charged in her assault, she became enraged. "No, no, no" Sierra told Detective Henson, later when he was telling her about her case. "Cameron would never hurt me. I've got to remember what happened." Sierra cried.

Things were worse once they got home. The only thing Sierra did was visit Deidre or sit with Cameron. She didn't sleep, eat, or take care of herself as usual. She was rapidly losing weight, so much weight that Marge became concerned,

Sierra held her breath. She knew what her Mom was about to say next.

"Sierra listen," Mom continued. "I know how you feel about him. I also know these feelings didn't just start. I want you to be careful, OK. He's dealing with a lot if issues right now and I don't want you to get hurt. Maybe you should take a break from seeing him so much. You can still visit him, but you have to take care of yourself too."

Sierra stood and started pacing back and forth across the room. Marge could clearly she that the girl was becoming more upset. "Sierra, listen to me." Marge tried to explain. "I think-"

Sierra interrupted her, "No Momma, I can't. You might as well tell me to stop breathing, or my heart to stop beating. I have to see him. I can't give him up"

Marge was stunned at how vehemently she spoke. "Oh my God, Sierra," Marge said in awe, "How long have you been in love with Cameron?"

Tears rolling down her cheeks, she watched her daughter softly weep. She stood and gathered Sierra close and held her tightly.

"Tell me, baby," Marge gently whispered, "How long?

Sierra leaned back looking into her mother's face, her voice quivered, "Since the day I first met him. He is everything to me Momma. I can't lose him." She said crying in earnest.

Marge held her daughter close whispering words of comfort in her ear. "It'll be alright, I promise. I'm not trying to keep you away from him. I know what he means to you. But listen to me; I don't want you to get hurt. Cameron is dealing with a lot right now. If at any time you feel overwhelmed come talk to me. I'm here for you. Do you understand?

Sierra looked up at her mother and saw understanding in her eyes. She nodded as a silent agreement passed between the two women.

Later that evening when Marvin came home, Marge told her husband what she had learned that afternoon about Sierra's feelings for Cameron. Marvin, his chest swelling with love and pride, grabbed Marge holding her tight.

"Finally," he said, "As soon as that boy finishes healing, we'll get our other son back"

"What are you talking about, Marv?" Marge asked puzzled. She was still coming to terms with her new found knowledge.

Marvin laughed," That boy has been in love with our little girl since they were kids." Didn't you notice how protective Cam is of her?

"Marge, it was his love that protected Sierra that night. I knew he didn't do this evil thing to

her. I'm glad the truth is finally out, now." Marvin continued, "And when he heals from this

and is ready, I'll be proud to call him son." He concluded kissing the top of his wife's head.

Sitting on the sofa, they held each other tight, secure in the knowledge things would work out.

Take a Chance

One afternoon, Sierra walked over to Cameron's house to pay him a short visit. She saw him on the porch watching his baby sister Rosa play with her friend.

She watched him from afar her heart began to pound; smiling, she turned up the walkway heading to her beloved.

Cameron sensed her presence before he saw her. It was always that way where Sierra was concerned. Even when he was unconscious, Cameron knew when she came to see him.

He turned looking upon the face of the woman who haunted his dreams for most of his life.She was so beautiful, worth every moment of the pain he endured to keep her safe.

"Hey", Sierra greeted Cameron as she approached him on the porch. "It's good to see you outside today. Do you mind if I sit down?" she asked tentatively.

"Sure, go ahead" Cameron grunted, as though he could hardly breathe. He motioned to the wicker chair behind her and she pulled it beside him sitting down.

Rosa spotting Sierra on the porch grabbed her friend Macy ran over to greet her brother's friend.

Sierra smiled at Macy.

"Cameron, can we have some juice?", Rosa turned asking her big brother.

Their dad found a new job as a security officer at the local mall, so Cameron would watch Rosa in the afternoon instead of paying Mrs. Beans.

"Yeah, but just one glass, because I'm ordering pizza later, you know." He answered smiling at his baby sister.

Rosa was so cute. She had thick auburn hair like her brother, but where Cameron was rugged like his Dad, Rosa had their mother's soft feminine features: and both children were blessed with bright sparkly green eyes. Skin the color of peaches that tanned to a pleasing bronze in the summer. Cameron may be a hunk, but Rosa was the adorable seven year old sister.

Sierra thought about Deidre for a moment and felt a twinge of jealousy. She wished for a brief moment she was carrying Cameron's child. Sierra imagined their son would look a lot like Rosa, except with light caramel skin, and golden brown eyes. He would be the spitting image of his daddy. She smiled, as she dreamed of their handsome little boy.

Cameron saw Sierra looking at his sister pensively and wondered for a second what was she thinking about? Deciding to break her trance, he asked her what she wanted.

"It's nice of you to visit Sierra, but is there something you need?" he queried.

Sierra laughed nervously as she pondered his question. How would he react if she told him what she really wanted? That she wanted to be more than just his friend. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, how would he react?

She imagined what their lives would be like if she could have what she truly wanted. They both would come home after a day at work and be greeted by their two kids, two little boys who looked just like their daddy. After spending time with their children, the kids would finally go to sleep. Sierra would kiss him passionately, covering him with kisses, leaving him with no doubt about how she feels about him. They would both be content to just be together.

Cameron noticed that Sierra was deep in thought. "Sierra, earth to Sierra.Girl, wake up." Cameron called chuckling. What on earth was she thinking about? he thought.

Sierra jumped and stopped her wayward thoughts. Well, I wanted to visit my friend and see if he wanted to get away from the house today." she chuckled.

"Someone", she continued, "likes to pretend he is an old man when he is not." She added teasing him.

Cameron smiled. He knew she meant well, but he just wasn't comfortable going out in public. He hadn't been out since the day he came home from the hospital, and then he only went because the neighbors had a block party in his honor.