Shadows of Resentment Ch. 05

First of all, I want to thank everyone who has taken time to read this story. I am having a terrific time writing this tale. I want to thank my editor, LaRascasse, for helping me with this. You are the best. There are many other people who have supported me in writing this tale and I want to take time to thank all of you.

Now with great pride, I present to you chapter five. I certainly hope you enjoy this chapter. Please remember to vote and comment. Feedback is always appreciated and welcomed.

The First Months

Cameron was in pain and he was tired of dealing with it. It wasn't fair that he always had to suffer alone. From the time he was fourteen and found his Mom passed out in the kitchen, to losing his best friends over a girl, he just could not get a break.

The only bright spot in his life was his family, Dad and Rosa. He'd do anything to make sure they were taken care of. They were one of the main reasons he came to Parkview Treatment and Rehabilitation Facility, a center specializing in helping people with severe spinal cord injuries learn to cope. There was one other bright spot, but she was partly to blame for him being here,

If Sierra had not gone to prom with Jake, I would never have gotten hurt. I'm always getting the shit kicked out of me by them in one way or another. Cameron thought as he looked out of the window of his dorm room at Parkview. Today was just the day to match his mood: dark, rainy, and gloomy.

When he first arrived, he had to meet with a psychologist name Dr. Susanna Kerst, who gave him permission to be angry. Permission, I don't need permission to be mad from you, lady! He fumed after their initial meeting. The bastard that did this to me is free, and everybody seems to think that's ok. It's not right. I wish I could make him pay.

Angrily slamming his hand into a table shattering a glass, a startled nurse rushed in to see if he was alright, but he did not acknowledge her. He turned his chair and wheeled himself to his room, slamming the door behind him, to indicate that he needed to be left alone.

Seething in anger and bitterness, hatred ravaged his mind as he thought of the crimes committed against him. He fumed at the atrocity that even though he almost lost his life, the culprit of the horrid events was still free. That simply was not fair. Darius needed to pay. He needed to know the pain he caused. He needed to be held accountable. Utira Dei adolebittuanigrum anima ad cinerem.he thought.May the wrath of God burn your black soul to ashes.

He could press charges. Send his selfish ass to prison for a long time. He didn't deserve to walk free while he was confined to a chair. He lost control, right. Darius was always losing control and never, ever saw consequences for it. Now he was having a baby. How fucked up was that? He needed to suffer, experience pain. He needed to hurt too. But he wouldn't exact revenge, because it would hurt too many people. It would hurt her. So he would simply learn to

For the first few weeks, he endured every test known to man. Medical exams, stress test, endurance test, and even test to measure his mental capabilities. He talked to many specialists and was scheduled for several surgeries that promised to help correct some of the damages suffered from the attack.

During his first week at Parkview, he met with psychologist. Week three at Parkview Cameron was in a closed session with Dr. Kerst. She wanted him to talk about his favorite memory before he was hurt. Cameron remembered the day as if it had just happened.

It was just an ordinary spring Saturday, years ago before his life went to hell. He walked to the park with Rosa so she could play on the swings. She loved swinging because she said it felt like she was flying. As he pushed her on the swings, she would giggle and her laugh was so infectious, Cameron could not help but smile.

While at the park on that particular day, Deidre and Sierra showed up and Sierra was carrying her diary. After speaking to both girls, he snatched Sierra's diary ran. Sierra gave chase. She became so flustered that she couldn't form the words to threaten him. He thought she was just unbelievably cute. Deidre had enough of his teasing and joined in the efforts to help her friend retrieve her book. He did relent, however, and promptly gave her book back. Cameron smiled as he recalled how he and the two girls spent the rest of the afternoon simply hanging out and playing with Rosa.

He could not give up no matter what. His Dad, Rosa, and Sierra were depending on him. He didn't think he could ever forgive Darius. The pain Darius inflicted on him was more that physical, but mental and emotional as well.

He had to meet with the director of the facility today, to go over his schedule. So far, all of the people seemed nice and they seemed to be competent. Whether or not they could really help him remained to be seen,

During the meeting with the director and doctors responsible for his care, Cameron met the rest of his care team. Dr. Kerst, he'd met during his initial registration. Several of the doctors and nurses he already knew.

But, then, he met a new member of his team, his physical therapist, Dawn Marcolini. She was the biggest woman he'd ever seen. Her muscle definition was well defined. She appeared to be serious and not tolerate foolishness of any kind. However, when she spoke to him, her voice was the most comforting he'd ever heard. He immediately relaxed and knew that with her help, he could face anything thrown at him.

All of the key players in charge of his care along with Cameron sat down to discuss the course of his treatment. The doctors took time to explain to Cameron the different course of treatments both surgical and nonsurgical options available.

He would also have sessions with Dr. Kerst daily for a few the first two months, reducing the sessions as he adjusted and showed improvement. He was scheduled to go to occupational therapy three times weekly and physical therapy four times a week.

During one of his daily sessions with Dawn, Cameron was feeling down and not cooperating with any of the exercises she'd planned for him. His apathetic attitude caused Dawn to become upset and at his constant refusal, she blew a fuse.

"What is wrong with you?" she yelled. "You have a family, friends, and people who care about you and you won't even try. That beautiful little girl that visits you every week worships you, yet you're spending all of your time moping and feeling sorry for yourself." Dawn continued. "Well, I'm through. If you don't want to get well, then I am not wasting my time anymore."

Dawn retrieved her duffle bag and started to leave.

Cameron realized that if he didn't stop her, was about to lose the one person that might be able to help him get back to normal. He had to stop her.

"Dawn, wait, I'm sorry. It's just that so much shit has happened to me in the last few months, that sometimes it's hard, you know." Cameron took a deep breath.

"I hate the guy who did this to me. I hate his guts. I want to take him down and destroy him, but I can't do that without hurting other people. People I care about." he growled.

"Do you think I want to be this miserable and alone? I came here to get well and help my family and I need your help. Please don't leave, just tell me what you need me to do and I will gladly do it." Cameron concluded.

Cameron turned his chair towards her and waited for her to respond to his statement. Dawn looked at Cameron pensively as she took a deep breath.

Dawn said in a sympathetic tone, "I am not even going to try to imagine what you went through that night, what you go through every day. But there are people out there who love you, who care deeply for you, who would be heartbroken if you gave up. Your father, your sister and that girl who visits every week- they are all counting on you to get better again. Keep fighting for their sake."

"Listen to me, Cameron. I know what happened to you was not your fault. The guy that did this is off living his life somewhere else, and you've got to live yours. You are strong. You are capable of beating this and coming out on the other side of this. I want to help you do this, but you've got to want it for yourself.

You will walk again. You will be able to have your life back. I'm behind you one hundred percent. So is your family, friends, and everyone here at Parkview." Dawn concluded.

He didn't want to hurt anymore: hurt anyone else. He had to come to terms with what happened and believe he would heal and walk again.

Cameron, for the first time didn't feel completely alone but like someone understood and was in his corner. He stiffened his resolved and was determined to fight even harder than before. "I'll fight and won't give up, as long as I know you believe in me I can do it. I will walk again and show everyone that I'm strong." He declared in a strong voice.

"Alright, let's do this then." Dawn declared dropping her bag back on floor as they returned to his workout regimen.

Visiting a Friend

Sierra put on a brave face when Cameron first left for Parkview. She made sure she was with Cameron and his father, Nick, when they drove down to the care facility Sunday morning. She held back her tears because, she didn't want him to cause Cameron to be even more upset.

After Cameron had been at Parkview for a couple of months, Sierra was missing him terribly. Although she still babysat Rosa and was around his family all of the time, she missed looking into his handsome face.

She sulked so much that Marvin called Nick to see when he and Rosa would visit Cameron again. He asked Nick to allow Sierra to accompany them on their next visit.

Marge informed her youngest daughter that she would be traveling with the Nick and Rosa to see Cameron the next weekend.

Sierra was elated. She went through every outfit in her closet until she found the perfect one. She talked about going so much that her best friend Deidre, who was now eight months pregnant and crabby, told her to stop talking about him and claim him as soon as she could.

Sierra decided Deidre was right; it was time to let Cameron Richards know that he was her man.

Cameron recalled the first time Sierra came to see him. When she walked into the lobby with his father, Cameron forgot to breathe. She was a vision of loveliness. The fact that she came to see made that weekend with his family even more special.

His Dad even gave them some time alone that day by leaving to speak with his doctors and allowing one of the nurses to take Rosa to the recreation room for a snack.

"So, how have you been?" Sierra asked timidly when they were finally alone.

Cameron didn't answer at first. He just looked at her.

She became self-conscious, "How are you feeling?" she asked.

Realizing he was making her uncomfortable. He quickly looked away. "Let's sit in the lounge for a moment." He said softly.

"It's not that' I'm just amazed at how beautiful you are and that you're actually here." He whispered.

He turned his chair and moved to the lounge and Sierra followed.

They decided that they would try just staying friends, even though Sierra wanted much more, she let Cameron think he won.

The day ended and his guest bid him farewell and headed home.

At the end of November, on Cameron's birthday, he was in for a real treat. Dad and Rosa arrived early for a visit. Marvin and Marge Granger came down also and were excited to see him and quickly told him so. Even Derrick came to visit along with Sierra and the two men exchanged a few words.

Thankfully, Darius did not come. Cameron was relieved, because even though he was happy to see everyone, he was not ready to deal with his issues with Darius. Deidre couldn't make the trip because of her advanced pregnancy, but she sent him a card with a special message inside. He placed the card to the side and knew he would burn it later. Deidre chose to be with Darius, therefore, he wanted nothing to do with her either.

Sierra, the person he wanted to see the most, was the person whose hand he held on to the whole time they visited. He left Sierra's side for a few minutes and went to his room. Sierra later followed him to discover that he had burnt the card he had gotten from Deidre. Sierra was horrified, because even though she knew he was angry and even understood it to a degree; she never thought it extended to her best friend.

Cameron took one look at the horrified expression on Sierra's face and broke down crying. He never meant to hurt her, certainly didn't want her to see him in this state. Sierra froze as much as she wanted to comfort him, she didn't know if she could handle the anger he was holding inside. Staring at him Sierra realized that due to the pain and injury he endured, Cameron Richards may have become a different person.

But, it didn't matter to her. She'd stand with him through hell or high water. She promised him that she'd be there and she would keep that promise. Moving slowly to his side, Sierra kneeled before his chair, took both of his hands in hers, looked him in the eyes and said. "I'm here for you and I understand that you're hurting. I'll be here to help you through this. I'm not going anywhere."

Cameron reached out to her, the one person that he'd gone through hell for and would gladly go through it again and pulled her into his lap. She gently sat on his lap and held him close as he released the demons that tortured his soul.

Sierra waited and gave Cameron time to get himself together. Once he had calmed down and washed his face, they went back to the lounge area where everyone else was waiting.

Cameron put on a brave face. No one knew about his moment of weakness, only Sierra, and he knew she wouldn't say anything. He smiled and acted as if nothing unusual had occurred earlier in his room and after a while, he'd almost forgotten about his breakdown.

At the end of the visit, everyone headed home. There were hugs all around and well wishes were shared.

"He is doing so much better. This place is good for him." Marge said to her husband as they drove home. Marvin nodded in response.

"I didn't want to let him come here at first." Nick interjected, "but he was right, he needs the help they give him here. I just hope...."

"I agree. It seems like everything will work out now. You all saw how he and Sierra kept looking at each other and touching. Well folks, let's start saving for the wedding." Marv boasted as the three parents shared a laugh.

Rosa woke up to the sound of laughter and was confused. She wondered what was so funny. But she was tired so she soon fell back asleep.

Sierra rode home with Derrick. At first they were silent as he drove and then Derrick decided to mess with his sister.

"Hey, I saw you holding on to Cameron. Is there something you need to tell your big brother?" Derrick teasingly asked his sister.

"Shut up. Butt face. We are just friends. You know that." Sierra replied smiling.

Derrick laughed out. "I've got lots of friends and I don't spend hours holding their hands, touching them, bringing them things and watching them all of the time."

Sierra narrowed her eyes at her brother because she was starting to annoy her, but Derrick continued to tease. "But I have had a few girlfriends treat me that way."

Sierra crossed her arms and huffed in her seat. "We are just friends." She wished they were much, much more.

Determination

For four more months Cameron worked hard, He was determined to walk again. Keeping the promise he'd made to his baby sister that he would get better.

Now living at the center, Cameron was getting his life back. Out of all the decisions he had made, coming to Parkview was the best one.

The Doctors and other health care professionals at Parkview were so encouraging and positive, that Cameron had no doubt that he would one day walk again. When he first arrived, he had no definition in his calf muscles, now he could stand and make small steps with modified assistance.

He noticed a difference in everyone in his family as well. His Dad, who was seriously ill before his accident, was now taking better care of himself. He had lost weight and gotten on a good diet. He no longer had to take all of the medication he was on last year.

He was very proud of his father. His love and support helped to guide him in making the right choice six months ago.

His baby sister, Rosa, was thriving from the extra love and support she received from Mrs. Granger. She was one of the smartest girls in her second grade class. She worked hard to make her brother proud. She had just turned eight, and although he wasn't able to attend her party, he made sure he called her that evening.

His family came to visit him as often as they could when his dad's work schedule would allow.

The weeks his father couldn't come, a member of the Granger family, would make sure they brought Rosa to visit. His best days were when Sierra would bring his sister and he got to spend time with both of his special girls.

One weekend, Derrick and Darius visited Cameron. At first Cameron refused to see them, but Dawn his therapist intervened. She knew Cameron still cared about his friends and that it was past time for them to talk.

Cameron was leaving therapy with Dawn when he saw Darius and Derrick sitting in the lobby of his residential area of the treatment center.

What the fuck? What are they doing here? Cameron wondered. I don't wanna talk to them. Fuck this, I'm out.

Cameron turned his chair and headed for the exit. Dawn stopped him.

"Where are you going? Why are you upset?" Dawn asked confused. When Cameron just left her he was upbeat, now he was clearly distraught.

Cameron stopped and turned around to look at his new friend. He never talked to anyone about what happened to him other than Dr. Kerst, but he felt he could trust Dawn.

He took a few minutes and explained his relationship with the Granger boys. At the end of his tale Dawn was speechless. She stood and walked away from Cameron and straight to the two young men.

She was furious. How dare he treat a friend of his the way he treated Cameron. She was going to give this Darius Granger a piece of her mind.

"Which one of you is Darius?" Dawn asked as she approached the two men. Both men stood. One was dark skinned with dark eyes, a low-afro and a goatee. The other was a milk chocolate colored God with dreamy chocolate brown eyes, a low haircut, and no facial hair. He was perfect, and for a moment Dawn was stunned.

Darius spoke, "I'm Darius Granger, and this is my brother, Derrick. We're here to see Cameron Richards. He's our friend."

"You stopped being his friend when he needed you the most. Then attacked him and put him in a chair. Really," Dawn stated as she looked at him as if he was scum stuck to her shoe. "If that's the way you treat your friends, I'd hate to be your enemy. There is no way in HELL, I will let you near him. Leave now and crawl back under the rock you came out from under you arrogant piece of shit." Dawn turned to walk away from them, but Derrick blocked her.

Her voice cracked, as she began to address the handsome man before her, "Derrick, I don't know you and I have nothing to say to you even though you have the audacity to stand here with him and try and defend ... its unreal. If Cameron was really your friend, you would have done something to help him. But no, you just let your idiot brother abuse him. You can get the fuck out of my face." She began to push past him.

"Wait, Miss.? What was your name?" He looked at her identification as he grabbed her shoulder to stop her from leaving. "Miss Marcolini, I assure you my brother regrets what he did. However, I will not stand here and let you attack him like this. We are here to see Cameron. Do you know where he is?" Derrick inquired in a tone with authority.