Shameful Desires

I have always had a thing for my cousin. I wish this was not the case, but I can't help it. Nobody knows, and that is the way I intend to keep it. I can't remember when I first realized I had a crush on Will but I was really young. Our dads are brothers and they were always really close, so by the time they grew up and got married, they had already planned on living close.

Will and I lived three doors down from one another and our families lived out of each others houses. We got along great as kids. We played every day outside with the other children who lived on our street. That changed when we grew up, as it always does. We found different interests. I was always a book worm. I got involved with the debate team and student council, got really good grades. Will was the sporty one, he played everything. I remember every sort of racket and ball in his bedroom when we were kids. Football became his number one priority by the time we both got to high school.

We were the same age but with a school as big as ours, we were not in any of the same classes, which I was glad for. Despite how close we were as kids, our conversations gradually became stilted and awkward as we grew up. Some of the kids on our street moved away, the rest split up into different friendship groups. We stopped going to each others houses when we reached our teens and the only time we had any contact was the occasional nod hello around the street. School was more political so we ignored each other in the halls.

Will became best friends with this guy called Judd in high school. It was easy to see why, they were practically clones. Athletic, not interested in school, popular. I started to see Judd around our neighborhood a lot more.

Although I always had a crush on Will, I convinced myself that I didn't. Whenever it would cross my mind as a kid, I would distract myself with something and forget about it. It's crazy how people can brainwash themselves into thinking something is not true. Judd was the catalyst for me coming to terms with it.

One day, during summer, I saw both of them walking down the street towards Will's house. It was hot outside, really hot. The biggest heatwave we had had in years. When they came down the pavement and walked past my sitting room window, my heart stopped. I could not hide it from myself anymore.

Will had his shirt off and was wearing a pair of red shorts. His muscles flexed as he walked. I bit my lower lip as I gazed at the sweat glistening on his biceps as he sauntered down the street like he owned it. He had dark hair and was impossibly tall, probably 6'5. Judd was the same, although his hair was lighter and he had a generous amount of stubble and chest hair.

He was just as built as Will, if not a little bigger. His arms were huge, his shoulders were like boulders. As they made their way past my window, I caught a glimpse of their big, round asses. They looked ready to bust out of their shorts. I looked down at my shorts and realized I was hard. I flushed red. There was nobody around to see me watching them, but I still felt embarrassed. My body was betraying my head.

'It's not okay to like your cousin,' I whispered to myself.

But there was nothing I could do about it - so I gave in. I followed them down the street and watched them walk around the side of Will's house. They unlocked the small gate leading into the back garden and didn't close it. Their parents' cars were not in the driveway.

I waited a few minutes and walked around the side of the house. Everybody knew I was Will's cousin, so nobody would think it was strange to see me there. I peered around the side of the house and marveled at the sight before me.

Will and Judd had pulled down their shorts. They were standing in the yard, completely naked. They were looking at each other, admiring their bodies. They were asking each other how often they trained, what they did at the gym, what they were eating. Their cocks were huge. My dick ached, begging to come out of my shorts.

I looked around. The street was empty, it was late afternoon, everybody was at work. They both jumped into the pool and started swimming.

That's when it happened.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had pulled my dick out of my pants, my hand wrapped around it, pulling slowly.

My heart was racing, my breathing was deep and rapid. What if they caught me? What if someone drove by and could see what I was doing? The idea of getting caught excited me even more. I jerked my cock faster, rougher. I watched them get out of the pool, water running down their Adonis-like bodies. They grabbed towels and started to dry themselves off.

I pictured myself running into the back yard and getting on my knees before them. Begging them to let me dry them off, let me worship their big muscles. But I didn't. I stayed in the shadows beside the house, tugging on my cock with a mixture of arousal and shame.

They turned around again and I caught a look at their bare asses. God, I wanted to rim them so bad. I wanted them to sit on my face and show me who was boss.

I started to sweat. I couldn't believe the thoughts that were going through my head. This was not normal. People did not think about stuff like this, did they?

Then, I let myself get carried away.

I kept jerking myself off, pulling harder and harder. It just felt so good, I couldn't stop. Their muscles, their smiles, their cocky, confident attitudes. It drove me wild.

And then I came. Come squirted out of my cock and hit the wall against the side of the house. I gasped and put my hand on the unlocked gate for support as more jizz flowed from my head. My whole body tightened, my pulse was racing. Sensations I had never felt before rushed through me.

'What was that?' Will said.

'What?' Judd asked.

'A noise. Coming from over there.'

The sound of their wet footsteps coming towards the side of the house. I ran. I ran faster then I knew I could. Shoving my throbbing, dripping cock back into my shorts, I tore across the front yard and pegged it back to my house. I threw open the front door and jumped back onto the couch in the sitting room, like I had never moved. I glanced out the window. The street was still empty. I sighed. They had not seen me.

That's how it started. I did not sleep that night. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what I had done. It was disgusting, it was filthy and wrong. I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

Why did I have to be so attracted to Will? I couldn't hide it anymore, couldn't pretend my attractions were not there. I had left come dripping off the side of his house for fuck sake, there was no turning back now.

For the rest of the summer, I watched Will whenever I could. Judd was around a few more times too. I followed them to the park once and jerked off in the trees as I watched them play football. Bending over, running, tackling each other. Rolling around in the dirt.

I thought about Will fucking me every night. I imagined him breaking into our house in the middle of the night while my parents slept. He would open the door of my room and lock it immediately, before I even knew he was there. Then he would walk over to my bed, just as I looked up to see what was happening. He would put his big hands over my mouth. My skinny body would not be able to resist the strength of his big jock muscles. He would tear the sheets off my bed and climb on top of me. Flip me over and push my head into the pillow. Spread my ass cheeks and spit on my hole, marking it as his territory. I would toss and turn, muffled screams of agony and pleasure going into the pillow as he forced his massive cock inside me and fucked me deep. My body would thrash underneath his massive weight, his balls slapping against my ass.

'Your ass is mine now, Kevin,' he would grunt in my ear. That deep, low voice drove me wild.

'Take my dick, bitch.'

Then I would come. And the guilt would set in while the fantasy played over and over in my head. It was like that for a long time.

I was three months older than Will, although you would not think it by looking at us. He had always looked older. Everything changed at his eighteenth birthday party. There was a barbecue at his house and my mom made me go. She said it would look bad if I didn't. I wanted to go to stare at Will and Judd, but I hated their friends. They were muscle bound idiots.

When I got there, things were different. Will came right up to me and patted me on the back. Even Judd said hello like he knew me. I didn't think we had ever spoken before. They brought me over to their friends and I spent the whole evening with them. It was great. We were friends again. It was like all those years of silence had not happened. I decided to stay longer than I had planned.

The evening set in, and everybody started to leave.

'See you tonight Will,' his friends said before they left. 'Try not to get too drunk before we get to the club or you won't get in. You don't want a repeat of last time.'

I had never been to a club before. I silently hoped he would invite me. Soon enough, I realized I was the only one still left in the house besides Judd. All the windows and doors in the house were open, it was so frickin' hot outside. I sat on the couch, pulling my t-shirt away from my body, trying to cool down. Will and Judd were talking in the kitchen. I looked around at the empty room and sighed.

Time to go, I thought. I sighed and got up. I walked into the kitchen.

'Hey guys,' I said.

Will and Judd turned. Why did they have to be so good looking. They were both dressed in t-shirts and shorts. No matter what they worse, it always looked too small for them because of their muscles. In the moment before they spoke, I realized this party would have to be a one-time thing. Even if they wanted to be friends with me (for reasons I still could not figure out) it would be too hard. The only way I could get over my shameful desires was if I separated myself from them as much as possible. That meant no more fantasies, no more following them around. I would have to go cold turkey.

'I'm gonna take off,' I said. 'Thanks for having me over.'

I waved and turned, heading for the door.

'Kevin,' Will said. His voice carried such natural authority. It was hard not to do whatever he asked.

I stopped and looked back. 'Yeah?'

'Can you come upstairs a sec?'

'Uh, yeah?'

Will smiled, displaying two rows of porcelain white teeth.

'It will just take a second. Then you can go if you want. I just need help with something.'

Will left the kitchen and headed for the stairs. I followed him. I watched his big, thick thighs mounting the stairs. His round ass was inches away from my face while he walked up. I watched the material of his shorts stretch on his massive cheeks. I bit my lower lip. I could feel myself getting hard.

This is not good, I thought. Why did you agree to go upstairs? Just get out of here and don't come back. Stay as far away from this guy as possible.

As we reached the top of the stairs and headed towards Will's bedroom, I realized Judd was right behind me.

We went into Will's room. It was a typical teenage guys room. A games console sat on top of a drawer. Clothes were strewn across the ground. A pair of used underwear was beneath the bed.

I fantasized about reaching under the bed and sniffing it. Inhaling the manly scent from Will's ass and cock. I shook my head. Stop it, I thought. Don't think about it.

'So, what do you need help with?'

Will looked behind me.

'Judd,' he said.

I looked behind me. Judd nodded and shut the door. He locked it. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle. This wasn't good. What were they going to do to me? Were they mad? Why the hell had they been so nice to me?

Will moved closer to me. My face was level with chest. I heaved up and down as he breathed. Judd moved up close behind me. I was trapped. There was no escape.

'What did you think of the game?' Will asked in a low, menacing voice.

I looked up into his eyes. He looked angry and threatening. I was scared now, there was no way I could fight these two guys off.

'Game, what game?' I asked.

Judd snickered behind me. I stayed looking at Will. I wondered if I made a break for the door would I be able to unlock it and get downstairs before they got their hands on me.

'Football game. The one Judd and I played in the park a few weeks ago.'

I drew in a deep breath. I looked down. I felt my face turn hot. Sweat beneath my armpits. Fuck. They knew I was there, watching them through the trees. My shorts down around my ankles, my cock in my hand, jerking furiously as I watched their glorious bodies glisten under the light.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. My throat was dry. I longed for a drink.

'Got nothing to say?' Judd said behind me. He placed a large hand on my shoulder. In my weakened state, I thought I would collapse under the weight of it. I could feel his breath running down the bare skin of my neck and under my shirt. It made me shiver. He rubbed his hand into my shoulder and then started to move it across my shoulder blades to the center of my back.

'I...I don't know what you mean,' I finally managed to say.

Will rolled his eyes. 'Don't play dumb.'

Judd's hand was moving slowly down my back. What was he planning to do?

'I always knew you were a fag,' Will grunted.

I thought I was going to throw up. He knew. Knew how I fantasized about him, knew how badly I wanted him. How I wanted him to dominate me and turn me into his willing little bitch. Judd was still edging his hand slowly down my back.

'But I didn't think you were dumb,' Will went on. He spread his legs, taking up more space. Making any attempts at escape in possible. I was surrounded on every side. I felt a drop of sweat running down my temple.

'If you had been smarter, you wouldn't have left come running down the side of my house.'

Judd laughed.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. There it was, the shame. It was running over me like water.

'Please don't hurt me Will,' I whispered.

Judd's hand went down again. He grabbed my ass with both hands and squeezed. I whimpered softly and tried to wiggle away from his grip, even though it felt good.

'Look at that,' Judd said, peering over my shoulder. 'Fag boy's hard as a rock.'

'Look at me,' Will ordered.

I reluctantly looked up into my cousin's dark eyes.

'What do you have to say for yourself?'

'I...'

There was nothing to say. There was no point trying to deny it, they had seen me.

'I'm sorry.'

'Sorry? You will be. Judd and I are going to teach you a lesson Kev.'

Judd pulled down my shorts. They fell to the floor. I blushed as I saw the tent my cock had made in my underwear. It ached, begging to spring out.

'Get down,' Will growled.

I silently obeyed. Dropping to my knees. I marveled at his sculpted calves, his magnificent thighs. The manly, thick hair growing on his legs. I saw the bulge in his shorts. My mouth watered.

'Are you staring at my dick?' Will asked.

'I think he is,' Judd remarked.

Looking behind me, I saw that Judd had taken his shirt off. I gazed at the ripped muscles of his torso, the hair on his chest.

'Hey,' Will said. I turned around and looked back up at him. 'You just can't control yourself can you? You see a real man with his shirt off and you're drooling like a moron.'

Judd laughed.

'Will, please...'

'Ask me,' he said.

'Ask what?'

'Ask me can you suck my cock.'

'Will, come on. This isn't cool,' I murmured.

Judd smacked me round the back of the head.

'You do as we say,' he ordered.

Will smirked. The jocks gave each other a high five. Will looked back down.

'Now,' he said.

I sighed. I decided there was no choice but to obey. I didn't know how badly they were going to hurt me, but I knew the more I obeyed, the quicker it would be over.

'Sir, please may I have permission to suck on your big, fat cock?'

Will grinned. 'Good boy.' He motioned for me to pull his shorts down. 'You know what to do, you've thought about it enough.'

I obeyed my cousin's orders and pulled his shorts down. They dropped to his feet. He was not wearing underwear. I gasped as his gigantic cock swung in front of me, hard. Judd and Will laughed.

'It's his dream come true,' Judd said.

Judd pulled down his shorts and his equally massive cock came out. He rested it on my shoulder and it hung over me.

'Two cocks for a hungry little fag,' he said.

'Suck,' said Will.

I put my hands around the shaft of his cock and put the head in my mouth. Something strange came over me as I began to suck. I looked up at him with big doe eyes as he moaned and put his hands behind his head, his arms flexing. This is where I am supposed to be, I thought. This where I belong. On my knees sucking my cousin's cock. There was no use trying to hide it. No point trying to run away and never think about Will again. I would never be able to stay away. As long as I knew he was just down the road, I would crawl over on my hands and knees from now on. Begging, pleading with him to let me suck his cock. Let him do whatever he wanted to me. I was his.

I worked my mouth back and forth over his cock. I had never sucked dick before, but I had watched enough porn to know how to do it. I just wanted to please him and make him happy. But I wasn't going to forget about the other God - Judd.

I reached my hand back and wrapped it on his dick and began to jerk him off while my mouth was stuffed with Will's cock.

'That's it,' Judd encouraged, putting his hands through my hair and pulling it. I moaned, but the pain felt good.

'Tell us how much you love cock, faggot,' said Will.

'I love cock,' I tried to say with my mouth full of dick. It came out as a series of incoherent mumbles. I coughed and saliva came rolling down my chin. The two studs laughed cruelly at my humiliation.

Judd pulled my head back and forth on Will's cock, forcing me to take as much as I could into my mouth. I gagged more and gasped for breath. wrapped my hands on Will's thick thighs to support myself against the brutal face fucking.

'Oh no you don't,' Judd, grabbing me by the arm. 'Back on my cock, bitch.'

I jerked off the hairy stud while Will slapped the side of my face, chastizing me for not sucking his cock good enough. Tears began to stream down my cheeks as he fucked my face. It hurt, but I loved it. I had never felt so worthless, so used - and so right.

'Switch,' Will said. He put his palm on my forehead and pushed me off his cock. I broke into a fit of coughing as Judd grabbed me and spun me around. forcing me down on his dick. Will grabbed my shorts and ripped them apart, doing the same to my underwear and t-shirt. I blushed as my bare ass became visible.

'What a pretty little hole,' Will said, running his finger over it. My body shivered.

'Do you want us to put our cocks in there, bitch?'

I nodded fervently. Will snickered.

Judd ordered me to suck his balls. I let fall into my mouth. Precome leaked from my cock as I inhaled the musky scent from his balls. They tasted sweet and sweaty. I had never been in the presence of such virile masculinity. His cock dropped over my face, lying between my eyes as I looked up at him, my mouth stuffed with nuts.

They dragged me over to Will's bed. I felt elated, high, like I had reached another plane of existence through sexual servitude. I realized how puny I looked beside them. I was a normal looking kid, but Will and Judd were on another level.

Will pushed me down onto the mattress, he climbed onto the bed, his massive body towering over me. He turned around and squatted down.

'Eat my ass, faggot.'

I obliged. I licked his hole and gripped his meaty mounds with my hands. I inhaled the manly scent of his hole as he smothered me with his ass. My cock was rock hard and I needed to jerk it.