Silverbridge: The Clam etc.

The Clam, the Half-Clam and the Candle-Snuffer

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Copyright Oggbashan April 2001/October 2004

The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

This story involves the characters introduced in "The Bridesmaids' Revenge" although it can be read on its own.

The Silverbridge Ladies Football Team "The Silver Vixens" were on the team coach returning from an away match. They were unhappy because that had drawn against a team that they had expected to beat soundly. Although they appreciated that their opponents had played better than that team had ever done before the draw still hurt.

That led to a discussion of other humiliations that members of the team had suffered. As we join them they have just finished discussing personal and bedroom tales (see other stories).

"It's not the private embarrassments that bother me most," started Lisa. "It's the public ones. Not that we ever have knicker elastic break as our grandmothers did. Even if we did lose our panties they're so small they'd hardly notice on the ground. Not like Granny's enormous passion killers! Most of us, from time to time, follow the Boy Scout motto "Be Prepared" and dispense with panties anyway. Except for Jane, we can't wear short skirts because of our footballing "Thunder Thighs" so we only flash when we want to."

Jane interrupted: "So do I! You're just jealous of my slim thighs!" She patted her thighs proudly as the others groaned.

"Don't rub it in, Jane," said Frances. "We'd all like legs like yours. You are just lucky. While we are footballers and continue to train hard, ‘Thunder Thighs’ is part of the price we pay to enjoy our sport."

"They're useful for other "sports" too!" added Alison. "I do like to clamp them round a man and hold him helpless."

"Men!" exclaimed Lisa. "That's what I was coming to. Many of our public embarrassments are either caused by or are directly related to men. For example when our escort gets drunk and we have to deal with the consequences..."

"...Or he tries to get too intimate in public - like taking your bra off in a pub..." added Sandra.

"…Or he starts groping your best friend in front of you..." said Frances.

"...Or he wants you to be his ‘Mummy’ at a formal dance," Candice finished.

The girls all laughed at this one. At the last club dance Candice had been chased round the room by one of the older members shouting ‘Mummy!’ before he had been ejected into the night. It was so totally out of character so a spiked drink was thought to be responsible. The next day he had been even more embarrassed than Candice and his wife was NOT pleased with him.

"But I don't think I'm wholly fair. That wasn't really his fault," said Candice.

"You may be right," replied Lisa. "But you're too soft on your men. I'd have booted him in the balls, so would most of us, or at least thumped him."

"Your thumps are too dangerous," said Sandra "he didn't deserve a hospital visit just because someone spiked his drink. If Candice hadn't been wearing a formal dress she could have tripped him up. That would have been enough to bring him to."

Frances came in: "Formal dresses are a nuisance sometimes. By the time you've hauled up your skirts and petticoats to kick a man he's got out of the way. And wearing hoops means that you can't get close enough to thump him really hard."

THE CLAM

"There are some things you can do in some of them," said Lisa. "You can do "The Clam" or "The Half Clam". They can really embarrass a guy if you do it in front of his mates."

"The What?" said several girls at once.

"The Clam" said Jane. "Lisa and I last did it to Thomas. I'd forgotten about it because no one's done it recently."

"OK" said Frances "You've got our interest. What is The Clam?"

"You need two girls preferably wearing large single-hooped dresses for The Clam" said Lisa "It's very simple. One of you stands behind the man, the other in front. Then both of you lift the hem of the skirt, including the hoop, as high as you can and trap him between your skirts as you lean on him with your upper bodies."

"The effect depends on the size of the skirt and hoop," added Jane "If it's a large hoop he disappears completely and he has a hard job getting out. The easiest way is to drop to the floor, if he can wriggle from between you, but then he has to crawl out from under a skirt. That really embarrasses him! If the skirts cover him to the neck the pressure of the two hoops can nearly strangle him. That's good too! Then he can only go sideways and the girls can prevent him if they move together. It looks as if you are just standing there calmly while he struggles. It's not so effective if his arms are in the clear but most versions of The Clam get him hot and bothered and really humiliated."

Lisa went on: "A version can be done with smaller dresses which have sashes tied in large back bows. The girl behind undoes her bow, passes the ends around both sides of him to the girl in front who knots it behind her then repeats the process with her bow. Then he's the meat in a girl sandwich and if the sashes are tied tightly enough he just can't get out without their co-operation. If you can catch his wrists in the ties he's really had it! If you trip him up so he falls down he'll be on the floor lost between your skirts with his hands above his head. But like The Clam it has to be done very quickly. The Clam can be almost instantaneous but the version with the sashes really needs practice to do effectively. Its other disadvantage is that the knots can jam making it an ungainly struggle to release him without help from a third girl."

THE HALF-CLAM

Jane said: ‘The Half-Clam’ is for one girl to use. She needs to be wearing a big, full skirt with hoops or masses of petticoats. It can only be done if he's sitting down or standing against a wall.

If he's against the wall you can lift up the hem of your skirt and lean against him holding the skirt above his head. If you are clever you can also do it with the back of your skirt. But you have to do it for a just a few seconds then get away from him quickly or else he can push himself off the wall. Then you end up on your bum in a flurry of skirts looking ridiculous.

‘The Half-Clam’ is best if he's sitting well back on a settee or a deep armchair. You just lift the back of your skirts, sit on him and lean back. He disappears under your dress and hasn't got the leverage to get you off. If you like him you can do it facing him and lean forward pressing your breasts on him through the skirt. Either way he's embarrassed and trapped."

"My mother told me about ‘The Half-Clam’," said Lisa. "When girls used to wear those massive skirts with hundreds of metres of net to go to dance halls it was a popular way of disciplining an unsatisfactory dance partner. He was usually so embarrassed he would do almost anything not to suffer it again. That was just as well because in those days a girl could get banned from the dance hall for doing the half-clam too often. They were banned instantly for doing ‘The Candle-Snuffer’."

THE CANDLE-SNUFFER

"Lisa! You're pulling our legs. You're making it up!" said Frances. "You've just invented ‘The Candle-Snuffer’! I had vaguely heard of ‘The Clam’ but not that!"

"You must remember," said Lisa calmly, "that in our parents' time dances were very formal and strictly supervised. Women were supposed to be ladies, and men were supposed to be gentlemen even as teenagers. They had to behave sedately and ‘The Half-Clam’ was pushing the limit. ‘The Candle-Snuffer’ went too far and since the girl would be banned for it either she must do it out of general view or else her reason for doing it must be overwhelming. By the standards of the time it was ‘indecent behaviour’ and could damage a girl's reputation which was important then. I don't think it was done more than once every few years because other ways of punishing guys didn't have the same after-effects."

"OK," said Sandra, "the ‘Candle-Snuffer’ was rare. But what was it? You've got our interest but it had better not be one of your leg-pulls."

"Right..." began Lisa "…Most girls couldn't afford the massive skirts for formal ballroom dancing. They cost real money when money was scarce. Those who were really good at ballroom dancing saved for months for one dance dress. The rest made do with ordinary calf-length dresses or longer dresses they'd made for themselves. Shirt-waisters with full skirts were the usual wear but unlike us underneath they'd have full-length nylon slips over corselettes or girdles. Instead of tights they wore stockings attached to their foundation garments..."

"We know all that," interrupted Frances. "Just because you're a dressmaker you don't have give us a lecture on '50s fashion. Get on with the story!"

"Sorry," replied Lisa "but what the girls wore was important. The full nylon slips fitted fairly closely at the bust but were loose over the torso and waist except if they had starched petticoats as well. The starched petticoats had elasticated waists for pulling over the hips..."

"Get on with it!" yelled someone.

"To do ‘The Candle-Snuffer’ the girl stood behind the man who would be sitting on an upright chair which is the only sort of chair the dance halls had. She undid her belt and unbuttoned her shirtwaist front down to the bottom. Then she lifted the skirt and her slip - and petticoats if she wore them - and pulled them over his head and shoulders and as far down as they would go. Sometimes her friends helped pull the dress and slip down hard. His head would come to a full stop under her bust and would be jammed against her by the slip. His torso would be pulled hard up against the chair back and the slip would impede his arms. The elasticated petticoats' waistband would cut into his throat and whether she was wearing them or not she would re-fasten her dress's belt under his chin. Then she would do up as many buttons on her dress as she could."

"It sounds interesting but where's the punishment?" asked Frances.

"You must remember that I said ‘nylon’ slips." replied Lisa "At that time nylon slips were heavy by today's standards. Most of them clung to the body. Even the lightest of them didn't let air through when damp with a girl's sweat or the guy's saliva. Most blocked all air all the time. The guy couldn't possibly breathe. He in as much danger as he would have been with his head wrapped in a plastic bag. If he didn't get out quickly he would be really suffocated. The girl and her friends were going to keep him trapped as long as necessary.

Her breasts, armour-plated bra, the slip's bra-cups and her dress bodice stopped his head from going up. Her dress's belt around his neck stopped it from going down. Her body and the chairback stopped him that way. In the unlikely event that he could turn his head enough to try to bite her, her corselette protected her. He couldn't tear through that strong nylon slip. He'd had it!"

"Wow!" breathed Frances "that's really cool. How did he get out?"

"Only with the girl's consent." answered Lisa "While the girl was behind the chair he couldn't get at her with his arms (which were also trapped under her slip) or his legs. Unfortunately his thrashing legs usually drew the attention of the dance hall management and the girl was in trouble. To avoid that it was done once with the girl's best friend doing ‘The Half-Clam’ on him as well. Even if the management didn't notice ‘The Candle-Snuffer’, the guy could still pass out completely. That couldn't be covered up and had to be explained. Since the dance halls were dry he couldn't or shouldn't be drunk."

"Once, just once..." continued Lisa, "the ‘Candle-Snuffer’ was done to a girl for persistent boyfriend poaching. It took a long time to bring her around and frightened everyone. She'd learned her lesson, though."

"It's a shame we couldn't try the ‘Candle-Snuffer’," mused Sandra "It sounds great but it was designed for the circumstances of the time. Perhaps we can think of something that we could do that's just as effective..."

THE END... for now...