Simple Song Pt. 01

What if she said yes, but then it turned out that this was like the Crying Game?

What if she got offended?

What if he accidentally mentioned the Crying Game?

He spent the afternoon running through those question in his head, over and over, with no answers.

*****

They were studying at a coffee shop. He appeared to be focusing even less than normal that evening. She glanced over at him every few minutes and it seemed that he was about to speak, but then her look would freeze him, killing whatever impulse he was fighting.

Finally he spoke up, his voice squeaking out of nervousness at the start, "Wippy, would you go out with me? I know this is sudden, but you see... well..."

Wippy was looking at him with a small smile on her face. She stayed silent, partly because she was so surprised to hear her name from his lips and partly waiting to see what he said next. She hoped it would give her time to make a decision.

He leaned into her with a conspiratorial tone of voice. "Well, I'm sort of a catch. You see, my Mom... she says I'm very handsome and that any girl would be lucky to have me."

She paused, staring at him with an open mouth. Then he winked. Wippy couldn't help it. She immediately burst out laughing, a full belly laugh.

Stopping to catch a breath, she finally responded, "I don't know whether I can trust her. Is she a smart lady?"

"She certainly thinks so."

"In that case, I guess I need to trust her."

"Great, leave everything to me. Don't worry, this will be the best Burger King you ever had."

He acted confident, but John had no idea what they should do. Without a doubt, he had some planning to do.

For her part, Wippy wasn't sure how she felt about the prospect; she didn't have much experience dating. On the other hand, John made her feel special in a way that nobody else ever had. And knowing him, whatever was planned would be... different.

Chapter 7 - Supertheory of Supereverything

John was just arriving at Wippy's house when the dashboard clock turned to 1:00. He knew that he had confused her by insisting that she be ready for a date Saturday afternoon, but he had a cunning plan. It confused her even more when he insisted that she needed to eat before he picked her up, and she needed to be wearing clothes that she could get dirty in.

It was entirely possible that he enjoyed confusing and teasing her too much. His thoughts became a little bit more serious when he started wondering whether he needed to be more careful of her feelings.

Either way, today was going to be fun.

She was running out of the front door already when he pulled up, but John insisted on getting out to open Wippy's door for her. He actually had locked the door to give him time to get out, so she was a little frustrated until she saw what he was doing.

"Your chariot awaits, milady."

She stepped into the car. "Thank you, kind sir."

He got into the driver's seat and started the engine up.

"Where are we going?" She asked excitedly.

"I'll tell you when we get closer."

"But... I want to know now." She was pouting dramatically to drive it home. It almost worked, too. With her hair up in pigtails, wearing a flannel shirt over a ripped pair of jeans, she was just so damn cute.

"You're making this hard."

"That's what she said." She responded immediately.

Wippy put her hands over her face, giggling uncontrollably. It was obvious that she hadn't meant to say that.

"Ignoring that... Maybe we can make a trade. I'll tell you where we are going and you tell me what Wippy is short for."

"I don't need to know that bad, so that's a no go, Jack."

Ten minutes later, they were getting near John's destination. He stopped her in the middle of a discussion about music to have a little fun.

"I think you're going to like today. I hope you're ready for some heavy petting."

"What?!" Her mouth was open.

"Oh, don't be... sheep-ish." He was starting to laugh, but she definitely was not.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I think I'll just duck that question." He was obviously stressing the animal names by now.

With that, they pulled up to the parking lot for a petting zoo. John, could see the lightbulb go off behind Wippy's eyes. That was all he saw, because he had to raise his arms to defend himself as she began to frantically, if not particularly violently, slap him.

After about a minute, she stopped. "What was that for? Do you not want to go to a petting zoo?"

She grinned at him, then gave him a mock glare. "No, the petting zoo sounds like fun! That was for the terrible jokes, you idiot!"

*****

They had a wonderful time. John had been right about Wippy; he had decided that she might be a very tactile person. It seemed like she was always touching his arm to make a point or slapping him lightly for something silly. He assumed that she would love the chance to spend a few hours holding and petting animals like that little teacup pig that she was cooing at right now. She was as relaxed as he had ever seen her.

For his part, John was in heaven. The real reason that he had picked the petting zoo was because he wanted to find somewhere that she would smile, a lot. It was working.

When they were leaving, Wippy gave him an excited hug as they walked to his beat up Corolla. Her smile still had not worn off. Getting up on her toes, she put her lips by his ear and whispered two words.

"World peace."

John looked down at her in confusion. She was staring back at him with a huge grin.

"Uh..."

Her grin widened.

"Oh God, World Peace! That's your name!... Right? I mean, isn't it? Wippy is short for World Peace?"

She nodded. "My Mom was the world's last hippy, so she decided to make a political statement with her only child. I tried shortening it, but 'WP' doesn't have a ring to it so I somehow ended up as Wippy."

He was as happy as he had ever been.

"So your full name is World Peace Black?"

"No. It's worse... Much worse."

"Don't make me guess again, woman. I would lose the little bit of sanity that I have left."

"My full name is World Peace Soon Black."

John was doing all he could to avoid collapsing over in laughter. He knew that might hurt her feelings.

While he was busy suppressing those urges, she spoke up again.

"Why didn't you ever look it up? I'm sure there are a hundred ways to find my actual name."

"What would have been the fun in that? Now please get in, Miss Gandhi. I need to get you home."

He didn't see the look of relief that crossed her face when she realized that he was still giving her nicknames.

*****

Wippy was feeling relaxed on the way back. She had trouble admitting it to herself, but she loved all, or at least most, of the nicknames that John would give her. It was the reason that she had refused to tell him her real name for so long. She was afraid that telling him might somehow make the nickname game end.

Because of how relieved she was, Wippy indulged in one of her more private pleasures. She insisted that they turn on some Katy Perry music, and then she loudly sang along. It was obvious to her that it was a minor form of torture for John. All he ever seemed to listen to were those breathy indie songs that sounded like they had been written in the 19th century. He deserved some torture back.

Three songs later, she perked up. Shutting off the stereo, Wippy turned to John and made a request.

"So, I've told you something embarrassing about myself. Now you need to."

"But I don't know anything else embarrassing about you." He replied.

Eye roll.

"You know what I meant."

"Hmm..." He was trying to focus on driving and found the conversation distracting. It was difficult to think of anything under the circumstances.

I have at least three inappropriate and random erections in public a day. Nope, a little too personal.

When I was eight, I walked in on my parents having sex... twice. Ok, that's just creepy.

"The first thing I noticed about you was your ass. It's why I got the concussion."

She was turned in her seat now, fully facing towards him. She also had a wide smile on her face. He couldn't stop glancing over at her. Oh good, another distraction.

"I already knew that. Sarah told me a couple of days after. You need to come up with something else."

He glanced over at her.

The smile...

Driving...

The dimples...

Those eyes...

"The day that I first noticed you, I went home and threw out all of my porn. I didn't..." Need it anymore. He didn't finish the second sentence out loud, but it didn't exactly take Hercule Poirot to figure out how it was going to end.

Oh God, what had he done! That was out loud. Maybe if he crashed the car into a tree, one or both of them would have amnesia.

Ten and Two...

Eyes forward..

Just pretend you didn't say it...

Make it home, lock yourself in your room, and never come out...

That will solve it.

He felt her hand on his shoulder. John was terrified to look over at her, but he did it anyway.

"It's OK, Jack. That's kind of sweet." Then she laughed, but a kind laugh at least. "Sort of pervy, but also kind of sweet. Thank you for telling me."

Huge sigh of relief.

"So!" The grin was back. "That means you've been thinking about me while you masturbate ever since then?"

"Sort of... yeah... I guess. Sorry." He was tensing up again.

"It's OK. I asked, alright?"

Another sigh of relief.

"So, don't girls masturbate too?" He blurted out.

What was wrong with him?...

Maybe that tree thing would actually work...

"Of course we do, but we only masturbate to kittens and rainbows and the Jonas Brothers. Innocent stuff like that."

They both laughed at that.

A few minutes later they pulled up at her door. He was rewarded for the day with a kiss on the cheek and a 'call me'. This time he did watch her ass as she walked back into the house.

What was wrong with him?

Chapter 8 - Next to the Last Romantic

The next day, Wippy made sure that she was a few minutes late to their study session in the library. She was simultaneously blushing and smiling to herself. This was the first time that she had ever acted like this with somebody.

John spotted her when she was about ten feet away. He gave her quick look, followed by a surprised second look that lingered just a moment. He had, obviously, noticed her volleyball uniform. She knew that he looked at her from time to time, but she had also noticed that he was discreet and always seemed to beat himself up after he did.

He groaned as she sat down opposite to him. "Why are you doing this to me, Babs? I bare my soul... or something, maybe not my soul, I guess... and this is how you repay me?"

Wippy gave him her best innocent smile, even if she was blushing a bit.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I just came from practice."

"I am not so easily fooled as all that. There's enough blood left in my brain to draw simple conclusions... for now."

There were a few more minutes of discussion like that. After they finished flirting, they got down to studying. A test was coming up at the end of the week. Or at least Wippy was studying.

John, was watching her bite her lip in concentration, wondering if he would ever be able to tear his eyes away.

"Why were you so skinny last semester?" Oops! He had not meant to say that.

It wasn't fair, she should be required to wear a mask. Then he might be able to regain semi-normal brain function when she was around.

"Why do you ask?"

"Sorry. Me no think so good sometime, talk fast much stupid."

She gave a little chuckle for that.

"I don't think I was that skinny last semester. I'm just fat right now."

He gave her a genuinely quizzical look.

"The last thing you are right now is fat, girrrrlfriend." John drew out the last word trying to sound sassy. He did not succeed.

This was a dangerous topic, he knew he needed to be careful.

"I fucked up my knee at the end of last year. Since the surgery I haven't really been able to workout, so I've been getting fat."

She wasn't making eye contact, so he put his hand on hers to grab her attention. She was surprised at how intense he looked.

"You are gorgeous. You are definitely not too fat. Saying that you need to lose weight is like saying that the Coliseum needs less columns."

She started to blush a little bit, but she still seemed uncertain.

He continued, "Actually, that's why they called it the Coliseum, it's short for 'Columns, see 'em?'. You see, the ancient Romans were very precise in how they named things..."

At this point she started to hit him on the shoulder, using the punches as punctuation between words..

"You... are... such... a... bad... liar."

Putting his arm up to protect himself, John even surprised himself with how quickly he switched gears.

"So... now that you're aware of my self-pleasure habits, it's only proper that you meet my parents. So... uhh... would you like to come over for dinner?"

There was a pause while Wippy caught up with the new direction of the conversation.

"Definitely!" For some reason, the request made Wippy feel happy

"Great, you are going to like them. My Mom is really sweet and my Dad only speaks in cliches."

"Only speaks in cliches?"

"Oh, you'll see."

"I'll look forward to it.

"Oh, and Jack, about the shorts..."

"Yeah?"

"You said that you have such a poor memory, I assumed that you may need a refresher."

She had a cheeky grin plastered on her face.

"Now, I've got to run, Jack. I hate to have to leave, but I'm betting you'll love to see me go."

Wippy took longer walking to the door then seemed strictly necessary.

Chapter 9 - Parents Livingroom

Wippy arrived at John's house a little early, she was so nervous that she had driven there more than an hour before, and spent the time waiting in her car across the street.

His mother, JoAnn, met Wippy at the door. She was a middle-aged woman with greying brown hair. JoAnn was rather large around the middle, but seemed friendly enough.

John's father, Tom, was sitting in the living room when she entered, so she met him next as John ran down the stairs. Tom extended his hand to her. He was a tall, powerfully built man with black hair. His appearance was startlingly different than his son.

"Welcome to my humble abode!" Tom spoke with enthusiasm as he shook her hand.

John joined them in the living room while his mother went back into the kitchen to finish dinner. There was an awkward silence, which John's father ended up filling.

"So, John tells us you're as sharp as a tack."

"Thank you, sir. I try."

John spoke in, "She does more than try. Wippy is one of the top three students in our class."

Tom laughed. "Well than how did John manage to make you date him? I guess it really is true about him. It's better to be lucky than smart."

Wippy smiled, unsure how to respond the statement that really did not make sense to her.

After that, the conversation went a little more smoothly. She quickly learned that John had a sister, two years older, who was at college. She also learned that John was 'the real McCoy', 'nothing to sneeze at', and 'a chip off the old block'.

Eventually, JoAnn came back into the living room to announce that dinner was ready. They all moved to the kitchen table to sit and eat. JoAnn had made a meatloaf.

Once they were seated, Tom turned to John and asked how his grades were.

"How's school going? Working hard or hardly working?"

Wippy was trying hard to suppress a laugh. She had assumed that John's characterization of his dad had been a joke.

John cleared his throat. "Well, my grades have been up. Wippy has been a big help studying with me."

She couldn't help but stare at John, slack jawed. Wippy couldn't recall a single time when she had seen John intently study. She had seen a few impressive houses of cards, an entertaining show of juggling, and no less than three drawings of Spiderman fighting a dinosaur, but she had never seen him 'study'.

He flashed a smile at her, which she returned with a glare. He must have been poking fun.

Once again, Tom spoke, "Good, good. When it comes to school, the old saying applies: 'Shit or get off the pot.'"

JoAnn slapped him on the arm. "Tom, don't use that kind of language in front of guests!"

The rest of the dinner went the same way. Tom made inquiries to Wippy or John, typically making use of some form of cliche in doing so. JoAnn said very little, but it was obvious that she was giving Wippy a close look over, as any protective mother does of the girl her baby boy brings home.

Apparently, whatever she saw and heard was enough to satisfy her, because she became very warm towards Wippy towards the end of dinner. That was a relief!

Once the meal was complete, John went to help with the dishes but was shooed off by his mother to 'go spend time with that lovely girl'.

He took Wippy upstairs to his room and opened the door. The subsequent expression on his face told her that he had forgotten how messy it was until he opened the door.

To put it shortly, you could not see the floor. The room was not particularly dirty, or smelly, but it was more cluttered than she had ever imagined possible. Stacks of books and other things were piled everywhere. She saw things like a biography of Thomas Edison sitting on top of a stack of seven paperback sci-fi novels.

He looked sheepish, "Sorry, I forgot it was like this."

That was a relief. "So it doesn't always look like this?"

"No, it usually does. I just... I just forgot." And there was that feeling again.

Wippy showed her opinion too easily, turning to him to ask, "Doesn't it bother you, living like this?"

He looked deflated. She instantly regretted her tone, as well as her question.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not used to a bedroom being like this."

"We can go somewhere else. What would you like to do?"

Wippy was considering it. Then she looked at him shyly. "You want me to help you clean your room?"

He sighed. "No... but I'm guessing you do."

They, of course, began to clean, or at least she did. John seemed to be moving back and forth across the room without accomplishing anything.

Wippy was enjoying it. In a weird way, it was thrilling to be so close to him, to handle his possessions. She felt like she was getting to see more of him than she previously could. Every knick-knack, book, or toy told her something more about him.

When she came across his shirt from the day before, Wippy couldn't resist bringing it (secretly) up to her nose to sniff it. It smelled like him. She had not spent much time pressed up against him, but she could tell anyway. Wippy had a sudden urge to steal the shirt, so that she could enjoy it later. She resisted.

After an hour, John looked at her and said in a flat tone, "This is the worst date ever, Ethel."

"What's wrong with a little cleaning date?"

"Oh, so you went on cleaning dates with your other boyfriends. No wonder they're not with you..." His tone was humorous, but he stopped suddenly.

"Oh crap, I'm sorry. That was the most douchebag-y thing I've said in a long time."

She looked at him, uncertain how she felt.

"I've never had a boyfriend before."

"Me neither!"

Wippy giggled. "You've never had a boyfriend before?"

"No." John acted as if he were proud of the fact.

The tension was broken. For the next hour, the couple sat on the bed and talked about random things until she had to leave.

On her way out, Wippy nearly stole the shirt again.

Chapter 10 - Keep It Clean

"Jack, do you think that I'm pretty?" Her voice did not sound overly confident as she asked the question.

They had been sitting in a coffee shop just hanging out. This time, John was intent with something on his phone while Wippy was the one who looked distracted.