Sins of the Father

So he just made himself go on like normal, though he jumped a little every time someone knocked on his door. He half-expected the police to show up and arrest him for rape. And if they had, he didn't think he'd resist at all. The weeks kept brushing by, but he kept a mental count of how long it had been since he last spoke to Amanda.

On day 139, the phone rang, waking him out of a sound sleep.

He picked it up. "Hello?"

There was the light sound of someone breathing, perhaps even crying,

"Hello?" he said again.

"Daddy?" It was her. It was Amanda. And from her voice, he could tell that she had definitely been crying.

"Amanda?" She hadn't called him "Daddy" since she was just a little girl. "Honey, what is it? What's wrong?"

She didn't answer right away, sniffling into the phone. "Daddy, can I come over? I . . . I need to talk to you."

"Of course, you can, honey," he assured her. "Whatever you need, I'm right here." Luckily, he didn't have to work today. "Just come on over, I'll be waiting for you."

"Okay," she said softly. Then the phone clicked.

Needless to say, Charles found himself pacing like a nervous wreck. What had happened? Had something happened to Sarah? He hoped not. They hadn't been able to make their marriage work, but he still cared for her and didn't wish her any harm. Or maybe Amanda had finally decided to press charges against him and felt the need to tell him herself. But all his worrying and pacing didn't do him any good, so he finally just sat down and waited.

It was nearly two and a half hours before he heard the knock at the door. Apparently she no longer felt comfortable enough here to use her keys. He stood and answered the door.

"Mandy," he said, relieved that she was alright. He stepped aside and held the door open. "Come on inside."

It had been raining lightly outside and she was wearing a long coat. Her hair was a little damp and she ran a hand through it to keep the water from dripping into her eyes.

"Here, let me get your coat," he offered, reaching for it. She shied away from him a bit and he let his hands fall away. Seeing the hurt in his eyes, Amanda turned her back to him and lifted her collar. He took it as a sign and took her coat, sliding it from her shoulders, then hanging it up on a peg. Under the coat, she was wearing loose-fitting jeans and a sweatshirt.

"You sounded pretty upset on the phone," he said, trying to start the conversation. "Is your mother alright?

"She's fine," Amanda muttered, her voice quiet.

"That's good. What was it you wanted to talk to me about then?"

She finally turned around and looked him in the face. He was startled at how different she looked. She still had the same short red hair, same green eyes, still looked like his little girl. But there were dark circles under her eyes and they were filled with uncertainty.

"Daddy . . . I'm . . . I'm afraid . . ."

He could have slapped himself. Of course she was afraid. Here she was, alone with the very same man that had raped her.

"I understand, Mandy. And you have every right to be afraid of me. What I did was wrong, unforgivable. I took so much away from you. I should have been the one to protect you, not take advantage of you."

She shook her head slightly. "Daddy, I-"

But Charles interrupted her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Honey, I took your trust and your innocence, and I trampled on them. I can't ever tell you just how sorry I am for what I did. And if you feel the need to press charges, I completely understand and agree."

"Daddy, no, that's not it. That's not why I needed to talk to you." She was starting to cry and her voice cracked a little.

"Honey, just tell what me it is. I'll do everything I can to help."

"Daddy, I'm scared. I don't know what to do." Tears began falling from her eyes, and her hands gripped the lower edge of her sweatshirt anxiously.

"About what? What do you need?" He had been ready for almost anything. But he never expected what she said next.

"Daddy, I . . ." She paused with a sob and slowly lifted her shirt up to the bottom of her bra. He hadn't noticed it with how baggy her shirt was, but with her once-flat stomach now in plain sight, there was no mistaking the significant bump. "Daddy, I'm pregnant."

Charles felt his legs start to give way and he sat down on the entryway table. He stared at her for more than a solid minute, absolutely stunned.

His expression did nothing to comfort her and her tears flowed even more freely. "Daddy, please, say something."

"Are you sure?" he heard himself ask, feeling stupid.

Amanda nodded, looking down and placing a hand on her belly. "I got worried when I was late. Then I started feeling sick a lot, so I went to my doctor. That was nearly three months ago, but I've been going back for regular checkups. According to my doctor, I'm just at twenty weeks along."

"Have you . . . been with anyone?"

She knew what he was asking. She shook her head. "It's your baby."

He felt like he'd gone mute for several second, but he finally found his voice. "Pregnant?" How could this have happened? he asked himself. Well, he knew how it could happen, he knew all about the birds and the bees. But it had just been the one time. His own daughter, pregnant? With HIS baby?

"What . . . What did Sarah say about it?" he asked, bracing himself for the answer.

She shook her head. "Mom doesn't know. I . . . I can't tell her."

He frowned, confused, as he looked at her belly. "How can she possibly not know?"

"She works a lot," Amanda explained. "We barely see each other. I wear a lot of loose shirts so she can't see. I spend a lot of time at the local YWCA, swimming. And I do my best not to overeat." That was his Mandy; always trying to stay active and fit.

"But, honey, she's going to find out, sooner or later. Unless you . . ." He left the sentence hanging.

"Please, don't even say it," she asked. "I can't do that. It's not the baby's fault that it happened." She looked down at the floor. "It's mine. If I'd fought harder, or simply gone home, it never would have happened."

Charles stood and took her chin in his hand, lifting her face to meet his eyes. "Mandy, this is not your fault. Don't ever think that. You didn't do anything wrong." He pointed to his own chest. "I did this. This is all on me. I'm the one who gave in, and I'M the one who hurt you. Do you understand me? Don't ever think that you were the cause of it."

He wasn't sure if she really agreed or not, but she gave him a teary-eyed nod nevertheless. He kissed her on the forehead and held her against his chest. She stayed there for several minutes, crying.

"Daddy, what am I going to do?" she asked, her voice slightly muffled. "I'm barely keeping myself afloat, how am I going to take care of a baby?"

Charles just held her for a few more minutes, thinking about the entire situation. First, he had to make certain that she and their baby would be provided for. Second, he had to make certain that he could never hurt her again. Oh, he'd thought before that he could never have hurt her. But now that belief was out the window, so he couldn't trust himself to protect her anymore. After a bit, he pulled away from her.

"Okay, Mandy, this is what you're going to do." He used a thumb to wipe away some of her tears. "You're going to go back to your mom and act like nothing is different. I'm going to arrange a few things for you. I know," he forestalled any possible protests, "I know you don't want any handouts from me, but you have to think about someone other than yourself now. Don't bother to call me for the next few weeks. I'm going to be busy getting some things set up. Don't worry if you don't hear from me. I'm not going to forget about you or the baby. But here's the hardest part; when the time is right, you have to tell Sarah everything that happened. I mean everything."

"What do you mean," she asked, "'When the time is right'?"

He brushed back her hair and cupped her face. "You'll know it when the time comes. But you have to promise me you'll tell her. I don't want you to have any secrets from her, just like when you were a little girl. Promise?"

She blinked away fresh tears and nodded. "I promise."

He kissed her forehead again. "Good. Now, you should get going. It's a long drive back for you, and I have some calls to make." He took her coat from the hook and held it open for her. She turned and put her arms in the sleeves, settling it around her shoulders. He opened the door for her and waited until she was through.

"Goodbye, honey. I love you."

Then he closed the door.

******

During the next few days, Charles made many urgent calls, consulting with his bank, his stock broker (he had a modest amount of stock), and a real estate agent. Lastly, he made an appointment with his attorney. Much to his attorney's surprise, Charles wanted to make out his last will and testament, naming his daughter as the sole beneficiary in the event of his death, regardless of the circumstances around such an event. In addition to his entire life savings, he chose to leave her all of the proceeds from the sale of his stocks and all of his belongings.

When the total was tallied, it was estimated that his possessions would be valued at roughly $65,000. This was in addition to the more than $100,000 in his savings account. In just over two weeks from when he last spoke to Amanda, he already had the sales of everything being handled by his attorney, and he felt he could trust him to see it all done properly.

Now all he had to do was finish the last part.

******

Over the last three weeks since she'd seen her father, Amanda had done everything she could to hide her condition from her mother. She woke early in the morning to shower and left for work before Sarah was even out of bed. She stayed out as late as she dared, limiting any time spent with her. She always answered her cell when her mom called, sounding as cheerful as she could so that she didn't know anything was amiss. The hardest part was hiding her increased appetite and finding clothes that were loose enough to hide her changing shape.

She knew that Sarah would eventually find out, but she wanted to delay it for as long as possible. Besides, her father had said she'd know when the time was right, and she still trusted him, despite everything.

As she got out of her little car (it was getting harder), she noted that her mother's Ford Focus wasn't in the drive. She was relieved. That meant she could at least relax for a short while before she had to leave again. She didn't want to be there when Sarah came home; with how her belly was growing, it wouldn't be long before she couldn't hide it at all anymore, now matter how discreetly her frame carried it or how loose she wore her clothes.

As she made her way to the door, she felt something and paused, placing a hand on her stomach. She couldn't help but smile at her baby's movement. Regardless of who the father was, it was still her baby. She didn't know if it was a boy or a girl; she'd specifically asked her doctor to not tell her. She wanted it to be a surprise. There it was again; the baby was definitely kicking, a far cry from the little "butterflies" she'd felt when it first started moving.

She suddenly became aware that she was holding her belly in plain sight outside the house. If any of the neighbors guessed at her condition, her mother would certainly know about it in a matter of hours. Forcing her hand down to her side, she started walking again.

Using her keys to open the front door, she went inside and was immediately aware of the sound of the TV in the living room. Had her mother left it on when she left the house that morning? Walking into the living room, she didn't see anyone around and was just about to take off her long coat (which was doing most of the work to hide her stomach), when she heard her mother's voice from the hallway.

"Hey, sweetie! Back from work already? They didn't keep you late today?" That had been one of the excuses Amanda had used for being out late.

Amanda turned slightly, keeping her back toward the hall as she pulled her coat closed again. "Uh, yeah," she answered. "I mean, no. I mean, yes, I'm off work, no, they didn't keep me." She winced to herself. "Um, what are you doing home? I didn't see your car."

"Oh, I had to leave it at the garage to have it worked on. Elizabeth gave me a ride home. You remember her, don't you?"

"Yeah, I think so." How was she going to get out of here? "Hey, you know what? I forgot to pick up milk on my way home. I think I'm going to go take care of that before I forget again."

"No need, sweetie. I already got some. It's in the fridge. I was just about to have a small snack while I watch the news. Join me?"

And for the life of her, Amanda simply could not think of a single excuse not to. It was like she'd suddenly gone blank. "Um, yeah, sure. Uh, I'm just gonna get a soda from the fridge first."

As her mother settled down on the sofa, Amanda headed for the kitchen. Stay calm, she told herself. Just play it cool and you'll make it through this. Stay calm and you'll think of a reason to leave.

Taking a soda from the fridge, she took several deep breaths the calm her nerves. I'm alright, I'm not scared. Then she came back into the living room and took a seat at the far end from her mother, picking up a throw pillow and holding it across her middle.

Sarah glanced over at her. "Sweetie, why didn't you take off your coat?"

Amanda sighed. "I'm just too tired to take it off. Work has been rough the last few months." Very smooth, she told herself. Keep it up.

"You poor thing," her mother consoled her. "Come to think of it, I have noticed that you seemed more and more stressed lately. I hope things smooth out for you quickly."

You and me both, she thought. Aloud, she said, "I have a feeling it's going to get a little harder before it gets easier. But I'll find a way to manage, I'm sure."

"Of course you will, sweetie," Sarah encouraged. "You're one of the strongest women I know. You can make it through anything. But, sweetie, I should warn you, stress-eating won't help. You need to cut back, get in some exercise when you can."

So Sarah had noticed (to a degree) her weight gain. She was glad that her "stress" conveniently explain that away. Silently, she hoped her mother was right about her making it through anything. She sighed a started to lay her head back a bit when Sarah gasped. Her eyes snapped open and she look to see what had caught her mother's attention so abruptly.

"That's Charles!" she said, gesturing at the TV. She quickly snatched up the remote and raised the volume.

"Once again, we are live at a local construction site," the news reporter was saying, "where a fatal fall has just taken place." An image of Charles' driver's license photo was displayed in the upper right corner. "We're not certain yet as to all the details, but it appears that local man, Charles Wells, fell from the fifth floor of the apartment building under construction behind me here. It is uncertain if the authorities have contacted-" The reporter paused, holding her earpiece and glancing off screen. After several seconds, she looked back to the camera and continued. "We have just been informed by one of Wells' co-workers that some papers were found in his pocket. It appears to be copy of a last will and testament, as well as a short note. The reads, 'I'm giving it all to you, Mandy. Now I can't hurt you anymore.' The note is signed by the deceased."

Amanda felt her heart break. "Oh, Daddy, why did you do it . .?"

Sarah, just as shocked and saddened by the news, looked at her daughter. "Oh, sweetie, you don't think he would really have . .?"

The look Amanda gave her said otherwise. In truth, she already knew why her father had done it. "He jumped, Mom. He . . . he didn't want to hurt me ever again."

"What are you talking about?" her mother asked as she began to weep. "Your father could never have hurt anyone, least of all you. He just wasn't that kind of man."

At that moment, Amanda felt a sharp movement. She gasped aloud, "Oh my God!"

"What is it, sweetie?" her mother asked.

Amanda answered without even thinking. "The baby just kicked."

Sarah's face displayed confusion. "What baby?"

A voice inside Amanda told her that it was time. Somehow, she knew this was what her father had meant. Setting the throw pillow aside, she opened her coat to show her sweatshirt.

"Mom, I have to tell you something." She slowly lifted the sweatshirt, revealing the increasing growth of her belly. There was no more hiding it. "I'm pregnant."

Of course, her mother was even more stunned at hearing this on top of the news about her ex-husband. "Oh my God, Amanda! Pregnant?! How did this hap-" she started, but abandoned the question. Instead, she asked, "But- but who is the father?!"

Amanda answered the question by looking toward the screen, at the image of her father. "He is," she said plainly. And while Sarah tried to understand what her daughter was telling her, Amanda began to explain everything thing to her, from the very beginning.