Sisters Ch. 03: Persistence

*******

It wasn't easy to slip out of the crowd, but eventually the pair made their way down the block and out of sight. Donna shoved her hands in the pockets of her thick coat and said, "I'm not from around here, so you lead the way."

Steve pulled a knit cap out of his pocket and pulled it tight over his head. He seemed to be looking for words. Finally, he asked, "So what brings you to town? Visiting someone?"

"Sort of," Donna answered, then added, "A family thing." She didn't want to change the tone of their conversation by mentioning her sister's funeral.

"Well, I'm glad your path brought you here tonight," he replied after a moment of silence. "I really enjoyed watching you perform."

They walked along dimly lit main roads, never far from a few restaurants and clubs that were still open so late in the evening. Donna let the conversation remain informal for a bit, establishing a bond of trust that would help her with the task at hand. Finally, during a lull in the conversation, she said, "So... you're pretty good on stage."

Steve gave an embarrassed smile and glanced her way. "Next to you I sound downright amateurish," he said, watching the puff of breath dissipate into the night air.

"I wouldn't say that," Donna replied sincerely. "In fact, I was wondering if it's something you'd want to do for a living... professionally."

Steve's eyebrows went up and he sighed loudly. "Yeah. Definitely, yeah. That... That's the plan... or the dream, maybe. But it's not been easy to get my foot in the door. There's a lot of talent out there and you need..."

"Consider this the door, Steve," Donna interrupted. "And you don't need a foot in it, because I'm opening it for you." She handed him the business card she had been holding in her pocket for the duration of their walk. Steve took it with uncertainty; he spent a minute reading it carefully.

"Oh," he said at last.

"I came here tonight to check you out. And... I like what I saw."

"Oh," he said again. "You liked... the show."

"Yeah," Donna said, unsure why he seemed disappointed. "I think we can help you. If you want us to, that is. Check out the web page tonight, take a look at some of the acts we've managed. You'll recognize more than a few names on the list, I'm sure."

"And that's what this little walk was about?" he asked, narrowing his eyes a bit.

"To size you up, yeah. And to get some privacy for a talk like this. It's not easy to discuss these things when there's a crowd pressing around."

His face was unreadable for a moment, and then he shook his head and straightened up. "Yeah. Of course. I mean, I'm interested to hear what you would offer, and all that. I have some old demos in my car, if you want. I just didn't expect..."

"It's late, Steve. It's late and I'm cold. Call me tomorrow sometime. I'll be in town another day or two, at least. If you're interested, we can get together; you can bring your questions and I'll bring my answers. How does that sound?"

"That sounds great, Donna," he said, showing less enthusiasm than she was used to seeing in these conversations. Maybe his off-stage presence needed work. Holding up the business card, he looked in her eyes and asked, "This is your number, here?"

"Yep," Donna said, flagging down a cab. "Call me tomorrow, OK?"

"How about lunch?" he said loudly as she opened the door to the car. "Can I take you to lunch?"

"Lunch is fine," she said, putting her elbows on the top of the open door. "Our treat!" She slid into the seat and pulled the door shut as the car drove away. As the warmth of the car thawed out her cheeks, Donna breathed out and let her recruiter persona melt away. She could usually hide herself behind the confident act she had practiced for years. But it was so draining to keep that up all night.

She forced herself not to look out the rear window at Steve. She had fought the urge to dwell on how cute he was. Tall, slim, shy, soft-spoken... The kind of guy who frequented her daydreams. The kind of guy she vainly wished would find her attractive and engaging. It was one thing to have fans admire her from a distance, but real flesh-and-blood men were another story. She couldn't compete with the model-shaped divas that ran in her circles. Donna had talent, but so did almost everyone who lasted in the industry. What sold tickets was image - the kind of image that could sell magazine covers and that made the execs want to put your picture on a web page or poster or album cover.

Arriving back in her room, Donna dropped her coat and scarf on a chair near the door. She paused to look at herself in the mirror. She was shorter than her sisters and the only one of the three not to have long, straight, beautiful blonde hair. Her own brown tresses curled slightly as they passed her shoulders. And while both Hannah and Penny were thin, Donna's build was naturally thicker and fuller. Her belly wasn't large, but it had enough of a curve to make her reconsider her eating habits while on the road. She had a healthy bust, which she used to carry proudly in light of her sisters' small chests, until she overheard her father comment that it didn't matter if a dumpy car had a nice set of headlights. Since then, she had tended towards looser outfits.

Tired from the day or, rather, exhausted from the week, Donna stretched out on the bed, not even pulling the covers back. She thought about the cute musician she had met that night. If only their late-night stroll had been with other purposes in mind. She would have let him lead her to a bench, let him slide his hand up her blouse as their lips passed warmth back and forth...

Donna closed her eyes and rubbed a hand slowly across her belly. Sliding that hand under the waistband of her pants, she fantasized about going back to his apartment and pretending to be interested in coffee. She pictured them on his couch, then reclining, then in a bed. She felt her body warming with each touch, both real and imagined. In her fantasy, her body was thinner and guys couldn't keep their eyes off her. Steve was telling her how hot she was, never breaking eye contact as he climbed on top of her naked body. She moaned softly, picturing her limbs wrapping smoothly around his slender frame, smiling to herself as she imagined heard him breathe compliments softly in her ear. His hand in her hair, the other sliding down to her thigh...

And then her stomach growled. Her daydream disappeared as quickly as a channel changing on the TV. With a sigh, she flopped her hand over to the nightstand and picked up the room service menu, checking to make sure they still delivered at that hour. Just a bite to get me to sleep, she told herself. But before she could find something she liked, her phone began ringing over in her coat pocket. That'll be Patch wanting an update, she thought as she hurried to get the phone before it flipped to voicemail.

She hit the button as she put the phone to her ear and said, "I think he's hooked, but I'll know for sure after lunch tomorrow. Now can you give me a little space, for Christ's sake?"

Instead of Patch's confident laugh, she heard a feminine chuckle. "My, my," she heard. "Someone's a little tense."

Shocked, she pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at the number.

"Hannah?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, it's me. I snagged your number the other day." The other day, Donna thought. At Penny's funeral. After you told me our father had raped the two of you. Yeah... just another day.

"Donna? You still there?"

"Yeah... just... a little stunned, OK?"

"Look. I'm sorry for calling so late and everything. I just... Maybe this was a mistake... Never mind."

"No!" Donna shouted into the phone. "Don't go... please. I'm glad you called, really."

Silence on the other end worried Donna. But then she heard a sigh. "Donna, I feel like... I should... I need to talk to someone. And... I don't exactly have any friends. At least, not the kind you talk to about... stuff. Y'know?"

"Sure. Sure, we can talk. Did you leave town already, or are you still around?"

"I left right after I saw you and... everyone else," she said, her voice shaky. "I went to go find someone, to try to... but, it's harder than I thought." She laughed and sniffled.

"Well, do you want to talk now? Where are you?"

"I'm miles and miles away, babe. I'm at a motel in Franklin."

"Tennessee?"

"Yeah, I've been..."

"Shut up! I live in Nashville!" Donna was inexplicably excited at the thought of reconnecting with Hannah. "Sit tight for a day or two. I'm driving back tomorrow right after lunch, OK?"

"OK," Hannah replied, her voice even.

"Promise me you won't go anywhere," Donna said firmly.

"No promises. But I'll probably be here."

Donna sighed. Good enough.

*******

Donna was distracted through lunch. Steve was very nice, and he made a lot of eye-contact. He seemed more confident than he had the previous night, and he had good questions about Donna's agency. Most of his questions seemed to be about Donna's role, her background, her life as a performer and that sort of thing. Donna answered candidly and easily, talking more about herself than she had planned, but Steve was a great listener and seemed to keep wanting to hear more.

When it seemed Steve was prepared to hear an offer, Donna laid out some details. At this point, when it got to some of the legal and financial information, most artists were in over their heads. Steve was no exception.

"Do I have to sign something now?" he asked.

"No, of course not," Donna answered. Usually at this point she would try to convince them to sign anyway, but that usually took a lot of conversation and reassurances. Donna didn't want to spend her afternoon that way, knowing Hannah was (still, she hoped) waiting for her.

"What happens after I sign?" he asked. "What's the next step?"

"You move to Nashville and we get you set up in an apartment there."

"Do you live there?"

"Yeah, when I'm not on the road." Steve nodded in understanding. Donna continued, "You'll go through a lot of sessions with our staff, auditioning and refining some of your sound and songwriting; we'll book some small shows and have you as an opening act to train you as a performer. You've got more talent than a lot of people I've worked with, and your stage presence has a lot of charm, but there's still work to do. Once we get you in the lifestyle for a few months, we'll see how it goes from there."

"Will I see you around? Are you part of that process, or are you just the bait that drags me in?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh, I'll be around. Everyone with our agency sees each other - we share shows, sing on each other's albums... that sort of thing."

"OK."

"OK?" She wasn't sure what that meant.

"OK. Give me a couple weeks to pack up and quit my job and all that. I'll move down there and sign." He said it all so casually, like he was agreeing to go to the movies or something.

"My only 'demand,'" he added, punctuating the word 'demand' with air quotes, "is that you let me take you out to dinner once I get there... to thank you."

Donna laughed nervously. "Steve, this is my job. You don't need to thank me. Just work hard and make us money." Steve wasn't the first one to think he had to keep playing her in order to get the deal.

"Dinner. I'm serious."

"Fine," she said, playfully rolling her eyes and smiling at his friendly demeanor. "Dinner."

*******

Hannah was digging through her purse. The coffee shop didn't allow smoking, and she knew she didn't have cigarettes anywhere on her person, but she felt compelled to check for the 15^th time in an hour.

So sorry...I'm almost there, Donna texted. Hannah glanced at the message, widened her eyes in frustration, and tossed the phone into her purse. Putting her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand, she exhaled loudly, blowing a tuft of hair from her face. It wasn't that she cared about punctuality. It was that she was fighting the urge to walk out the door, dropping her phone in the trash can on the way out. Donna had her number now, and so did Wes. She felt exposed and was ready to once again walk away from it all.

It would be easier that way, she thought.

Only easier for now, an unfamiliar voice in her head urged her. Harder in the end.

No, she told herself, I'm pretty sure it's easier not to feel, not to care. But I'm not convinced that it's better. I've mistaken easier and better for a while now...

Donna hurried in the door, shaking an umbrella and leaving it in a large bin near the entrance. She looked around the room and smiled broadly when she spotted her sister.

Sitting across a small table from one another, the two siblings took turns opening their mouths but then closing them. After a few moments of false starts, Donna confessed, "I don't even know where to begin. I'm just so glad you're here."

Putting the fingers of one hand on the bridge of her nose, Hannah closed her eyes and said, "Look, there's obviously a lot we could talk about. But I don't want to get into all that right away. This... this isn't real easy for me." When she had finished speaking, she looked up to find Donna's eyes.

Donna closed her lips and nodded. Holding back a deep breath, she said, "OK," with visible restraint. Then, after giving Hannah a chance to go on, she said, "So... what do you want to talk about?"

Hannah looked to the side, then glanced at the phone in her purse. She weaved her head from side to side, then finally said, "I... I don't understand people. And you seem... kinda normal. My way of doing things isn't working out, and I guess I'm looking for... advice? Like... How do you fix a relationship that you may have screwed up? Like, if you really want to fix it, you really want another chance. How do you convince the other person to... to..."

"To forgive you?" Donna offered softly.

Hannah winced at that word. "To give you a second chance," she said.

Donna looked around a little and half-shrugged. "I don't... It's different for everyone, I think. But... Hannah, this just seems weird. I don't know anything about you. You... You don't know anything about me. I don't know if I can just jump in and have a conversation pretending there's no big herd of elephants in the room." She shrunk down a little, bracing for a reaction, wondering if Hannah was trying to approach fixing their relationship in a round-about way.

"See," said Hannah, waving her hand in the air. "That's what I mean. I don't get that. I don't get it at all. I need you to explain things like that to me."

"You don't understand that we are practically strangers?"

"I get that. I just don't understand what difference it makes."

"OK," Donna said, trying to shift gears. Perhaps she needed to just take what she could get. "For starters, you need to be honest and you need to own up to your mistakes."

"OK," said Hannah, staring intently at her sister.

"And you need to acknowledge her... I mean, the other person's feelings about it... and not belittle how they feel. Give them the right to be angry or upset or hurt." Donna's voice conveyed some of her own hurt towards her sister.

"And I guess you need to give them reason to believe that you sincerely want a second chance. Try to give them a picture of what you want things to look like moving forward."

Hannah had closed her eyes, but was still nodding in response.

"But you also need to accept that it's their right to say yes or no. You can't force anything. They might need time, or they might just say no. Does that make sense?"

Hannah's knee had begun bouncing under the table, making the surface shake a little. "Yeah," she said, opening her eyes. Then standing up, she put her purse on her shoulder and said, "Thanks Dee. I'll see you later." Without waiting for a response, she hurried towards the door and walked out into the rain. Donna sat there, eyes wide in disbelief.

*******

Wes couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. Donna was on his doorstep, in the pouring rain, launching into a prepared speech. He stopped her mid-sentence and pointed towards the garage. At the touch of a button, the big door began opening. Wes shut the front door, holding back a large dog that had been barking at the stranger on the porch.

A moment later, the former lovers were standing in the spacious garage. Hannah made no move to take off her jacket, and Wes made no offer to take it. The scene played out like something from a romance film. Hannah stood facing him, admitted how she'd wronged him and asked to reconcile. The rain on her face made it seem like she was crying, though Wes knew better. Her voice was stoic and unwavering, more suitable for a business report than a confession.

He listened quietly until she started talking about what she hoped their relationship could look like in the future. He stopped her with a raised hand and said, "Don't get ahead of yourself, Hannah. I appreciate what you're doing here, but... dammit, it's not that easy!

Hannah growled in frustration. "I just don't get it," she said, wiping some of the water from her face. "Why can't you just invite me in, pick up where we left off, and then we can talk about the details later?"

"Because we left off with me in the hospital and you deciding you were ready to move on," Wes replied without flinching.

"You know what I mean," Hannah objected. "Before that. Let's... let's go spend the night together, get reacquainted, release some tension, get it out of our system. Then we can talk about this bit by bit. I'll... I'll explain some things... and I'll show you how sorry I am." She tried to move slowly towards him, pushing her chest out and swaying her hips as she moved. Usually, this was easy, seduction was second nature to her. But standing in front of Wes, Hannah felt clumsy and awkward.

Nevertheless, he stared at her. Regardless of how she felt, Hannah was mesmerizing. But then shaking his head, Wes answered, "I think you should leave for the night," and pointed towards the door.

"I don't understand," Hannah whined. "Why can't you just let me back in? Just use me for a night if you want!"

Wes creased his brow in anger. "Are you serious? How do you not understand this? I told you, I don't just want a body. Don't just offer me that! I want a person, a whole person. So until you're ready to offer me that, then we have nothing more to talk about!"

As he spoke, Hannah slowly backed away until she was just at the entrance to the garage. The rain was lightening up, but it still fell steadily. She turned around and walked to her car, watching Wes disappear inch by inch as the garage door closed. Once it had shut and she could see the light go out, she folded her arms across the steering wheel and rested her chin on them. She picked up Penny's note from its resting spot on the dashboard. Then, looking back at the spot where Wes had been standing, she murmured, "But I don't think I'll ever be a whole person."

*******

Donna walked into her office at the agency the next morning. The few other staffers were gathered around a screen, watching a performance. As she got closer, she recognized the sounds of "Baby It's Cold Outside." Patch turned and saw her approaching. He walked over to her, beaming.

"Everyone loves it, babe. You two sound great together."

"Did they see the rest of his show?" Donna asked.

"Only the first half. I didn't record anything after your little stunt," he said. "Very clever, I have to admit. Very clever."