Smalltalking Ch. 02

"I also want to cum." she whispered, her rubbing on my foot getting heavier and harder.

"It's quite a dilemma." I nodded, as I started to help out, moving my foot lightly between her legs, pushing up into her love triangle.

It was a weird feeling. This kind of "hands free" love making, where I was face down on the bed, just casually wiggling my foot as somewhere above and behind me Sveta was gripping my butt and masturbating with my foot.

The more I moved my foot around, the less friction I seemed to be feeling, as though she was completely soaking through her underwear. I was dying to turn over and have a proper look, but we were in this really harmonious state that I didn't dare to break it.

She didn't say anything as she came. Her breathing went into hyperventilation and she, perhaps unknowingly, pressed her head into my ass, her body arching and trembling.

"I feel so much better already, doc." I said, as she slumped right on top of me, her body covering mine.

We were almost as tall, I was just slightly taller than her, but as she lay there she covered me almost perfectly. I enjoyed the feeling of her soft, warm bosom on my naked back. The feeling of her lips, still breathing hard, on the skin of my shoulder.

I wasn't in love with the smell of her breath, but my breath was nothing to write home about either so I let it go for the time being.

"I want to say that I love you but I don't know if it's too early or even if it's true." she said, her mind coming back to her.

"Oh it's fine." I said, my voice slightly muffled as my head was pressed into the bed by her weight. "You can love me for now and I can love you. If we stop loving each other one day, then at least we will have loved a little."

She was silent for a moment that stretched for so long that I was worried about having somehow upset her. Maybe she hadn't meant to say the world "love"? Maybe she meant something along the lines of "glove"? Like - "I want to say that I glove you"? Because she wanted us both to take up the glove wearing profession?

"That is a very strange way to look at love." Sveta said, breaking apart all of my stupid thoughts. "But for some reason, it feels so right. I've never thought about it like that, for some reason I always thought that love was ... I don't know. That it was supposed to be forever maybe?"

"Don't worry about it. Nothing lasts forever." I shrugged. And as she lay directly on top of me, she involuntarily shrugged as well. "Just make sure to fill up on the good stuff now and again. Like, I really want coffee again."

"No, wait, don't." she quickly said. "This is a deep, philosophical conversation about love."

"Then tell me about love. What is love to you?" I decided to let her get all of her thoughts out, since she clearly had something to say about it.

"Love to me is this ... sort of insane, almost contrarian thing. Love is something you have in spite of everything else. When I was a girl, my dad brought home a cat, Jalal. And mom didn't like it because it was a bit ... well, you know the jokes you read online about cats? He was a lot like that. Stand-offish and extraordinarily narcissistic. But I loved him. Really, I did. I was the only one whom he listened to towards the end, would always follow me around. He liked to listen to my voice. But, if I'm honest, he was a bit of an asshole towards everyone else."

As she paused for thought, I just waited, interested to see where this was going.

"He was already five or maybe older when dad brought him. Cats don't live very long, you see. He died a few years ago now. And I was really heart broken.

And, in a way, that kind of sums up love. It's tangible, emotional attachment that – when it's broken – hurts as badly as if something physical broke.

I know you are a bit emotionally detached, it must sound very silly."

"I am emotionally detached?" I asked, perplexed. "I am very emotional. I am so emotional that blinking gives me mood swings. I am so emotional that if I was the ice berg that Titanic hit, everyone would have survived but also gotten married then and there."

"I don't understand the analogy." Sveta admitted, "But I was thinking more of traditional emotional responses. Somehow, you can make a joke out of anything. It's like you're bullet-proof with a snarky shield around you."

"Ok, but let's not make this about me." I decided to turn this ship around before we went aground on shores where *my* monsters lived. "So you feel that love is that kind of traditional feeling? But I said that I was fine if you feel that you love me now. I just know that we're really fucking young. I have never even paid taxes. One day, maybe long after we've started paying taxes, it's reasonable to think that we would stop loving each other. People change. You are not the person you were when you were five, right? Or I hope not, otherwise I should be in jail.

That five year old is dead. And had she been alive, I wouldn't be banging her. As time goes on, everything changes. The people we are right now won't exist tomorrow. And since they are different people, we can't really assume that they will love each other. We don't know those people. We just know each other. Right now."

"You're freaking me out." Sveta said, then laughed shakily. "But you love me now?"

"Fuck it. Yeah, I do." I said, and turned over, with Sveta falling off of me. "I do so much right now. It's not just the sex. It's the whole situation. It's so weird. But it's also kind of liberating. I just feel so good with you right now that yes, I love you."

"What if we get hurt?" she asked.

"Come on. What's the worst that could happen?"