smokeSCREEN : bookFOUR

"But that's the way it has to be," Lisa tells me. Tells all of us. "As soon as we showed up here at the Forks, we tried to get out peacefully. They wouldn't let us leave. Four of us are dead already – there will be no peace."

I am silent. I smoke my smoke.

Maybe this war isn't about a disease any more. It's become more hatred than fear.

"…and so all is lost," I finish my thought out loud. They're all staring at me.

"…what?" Lisa says.

"Nothing." I shake my head.

"Well, Cypress, what most of us are really curious about," Lisa says finally, "is your story. So tell it."

* * *

* * *

you don't know what / we can find / why don't you come with me, little girl / on a magic carpet ride // you don't know what / we will see / why don't you tell your dreams to me? / fantasy will set you free

* * *

* * *

"Twelve old ones," Saku counts on her fingers. "Wounded their leader. Plus whoever was left inside."

I nod.

"That settles it, as far as I'm concerned," Saku says, glancing to Lisa. Lisa nods, slowly, and stands.

"All in favour?" she asks.

Everyone aside from me raises her arm.

"In favour of what?" I say.

"Of me stepping down as temporary leader," Lisa says. I glance to Michelle.

"Congrats," I say. But Michelle looks confused.

"Didn't Sophie tell you…?"

With a slap, a familiar old book is tossed onto the table.

It's a yearbook. And Crow looks away.

"Just had to run and tell, didn't we?" I say.

"They had to know," she says softly. But it's too late. I'm pissed off.

"So you'd have me lead you?" I say to the table. They nod. "I wouldn't. And I propose that I have some say in the matter."

"Who here is better for the role?" Michelle says as she rocks her chair back, darting her eyes up to mine.

"You," I say. She shakes her head.

"I'm a guard, just like Crow. I don't have the field experience. Lisa outranks me there."

"Then Lisa stays on," I say.

"Cypress," Lisa says. "You know their methods. You know how far they'll go. You know how to talk to them, and if worse comes to worse, you could most likely figure out a way to kill all of them." She leans forward and places her hands on the table. "You were grade four. We've all seen the picture. Whatever gift it is that you have, we need it. So I step down."

She removes a silver chain from her neck. As she hands the chain along down the table, I see that a silver ring hangs from it. And as Michelle places the ring in my hands, I turn it over to see the symbol. I have no idea what it means, but I do remember this ring.

The world pauses, and all my fears have come true. Everything my father told me was true. And I can feel it – I can feel my emotions crumbling.

I don't understand any of it.

I want to crack.

But I speak.

"…where did you get this?"

"It's the ring Jessie had when we attacked you guys in year three," Saku says. "It's sort the our momento of victories in the field."

And the wolf whispers to me;

take it

slip it on your finger

I slide the chain over my neck.

Zen.

"Alright," I say, fingering the ring at my throat. I stare out at the room.

I'm working things out. Crow's staring at me. They're all staring at me.

"Well?" Lisa says. I nod.

"I accept. Everyone who's not on duty, gather your floors and go crash."

For a moment, they just stare. Lisa and Michelle are the first to stand.

"What happens tomorrow?" Saku says.

"Tomorrow I go talk to them," I tell her. "And if it all goes wrong, I'll want well-rested women at their posts, won't I?"

* * *

Crow silently ascends the tiny staircase ahead of me and enters a small room, which must be at the very top of the Terminal. Here there are darkened windows on all sides, a bed, a shelf of magazines and comic books, provisions and booze. On one shelf I notice a particularly old, respectable-looking book. Something that wouldn't have pictures.

"We took Johnston Terminal in…"

"Year seven."

"Yeah." She turns to me, as if to remind me who I am. "You took it back year nine."

"I was out here for a summer," I say. "Never noticed this."

"No one noticed it," she shrugs, lighting a lamp on the bedside table. "Michelle would tell me to take a radio and go off on watch duty. I sat up here a whole summer and no one really noticed."

"Lonely days," I nod, peeking out a window at the Market. Two guards on the roof. I lean down and look up. …sniper in the Market bell tower. I'll have to tell Michelle about him. Then again, perhaps I should avoid Michelle for a while and tell Lisa. "…does anyone else know about this room?" I ask instead.

"Well, Lisa and Michelle," she says. "For emergencies." Gripping the door handle, I gently push it closed until it clicks into place. I turn around in time to catch a set of keys. "The blue one," she smiles.

Locking the door, I find Crow's arms draping around me, a her lips curved in a wry smile. "How's your arm feeling?" Funny she should ask – it still feels like Hell.

"Better," I say.

"Really?" she raises an eyebw. "So you're feelin'… bendy?"

"What are you getting at?" And now she's kissing me, and we fall back against the heavy old door.

"Mmmmtell me about your day, honey," she says, still kissing me. Now she leans back with a lick of my lips and grins.

I let my hands loosely hold her hips as she leads be back into the center of the room.

"Man, I had a shitty day at work today, pumpkin."

"Pumpkin?"

"It's from Pulp Fiction."

"Go on, Honey." She's kissing me again, one of her fingers has slipped into my pants, and is now pulling me for the bed.

"Well for one thing, I got to the office? It was empty. Turns out I'd gone in on a Holiday."

She's still kissing me, her tongue doing strange yet, strangely enjoyable things to my lips.

"So what'd you do then?" she asks, pulling my sweaters over my head.

"Well, I was about to leave, but then people start coming in the store." My hand runs down the chunky clips on her white cotton shirt. Clickclicklickclickclick and it slides from her shoulders. "Apparantly customers didn't know it was a holiday, either." She grins at me, raising her arms as for me to pull her sweater off. "Problem was, by the time I was ready to leave, there were so many customers in the store I couldn't get to an exit."

"What did you tell them?" she asks. I raise an eyebrow.

"This is new," I smile. I never really pictured Crow in something lacy.

"Do you hate it?"

"No, it's groovy, it's just… very femenine." I lean in and wrap my arms around her, one hand going to what I suspect will be a snap….

Hm… this is a new challenge…

"So what happened with the customers?" she says.

"Well, I had to serve a few of them." She cocks her head to the side.

"And by 'serve' you really mean…"

…this whole Non-Sports-Bra thing is really giving me trouble…

"Skillfully murder in self-defense."

…hold on… shit…

"Ah – go on," she says.

Fuck this bra!

"Well, eventually I served enough of them, they were so spread out I was able to make good my escape. Yes! There we go…" The bra falls from her pale shoulders and she gives me a curious look.

"Was it giving you trouble?"

"Pfft – no." And she's giving me that grin. I've already got her skirt around her ankles. I falls around her tight boots, and she kicks it away before sliding them off. It's now that I notice her underwear.

"This matches," I grin. She crosses her legs and covers herself.

"Stop it," she says. "Look at me." I stand up and kiss her. She smiles, but my fingers gently tug at the lacy waistband. I can never understand how her eyes can be so pale, so cold at first glance, but so utterly welcoming.

So bright – sparkling against her black hair. "Where are you?" she asks suddenly. I grin.

'In your eyes' sounds kind of stupid.

"I'm thinking about you," I say. She wrinkles her nose.

"Like what?" I get my boots off and drop my pants as she falls onto the bed.

"Like… wow."

"Wow?"

"Wow."

"Wow what?"

"Wow – you're so beautiful." She blushes and smiles, but I can tell that's struck her somehow. I join her on the bed and lean down, kissing her. "But seriously," I say, tugging at the panties again. "Where did you get these?"

"Sophie," she says. I raise an eyebrow.

"This is Sophie's underwear?" Huh. Kinky.

"No, Sophie, she… a little while after you came to the Tower, she went and found nice underwear like this in all our sizes, and they're so tiny she just kept them in her pack until one of us… got together with you. And I got together with you, so… it's a gift."

"Huh," I say, nuzzling her neck and stroking her tummy. "God, I missed you."

"What're you thinking?" she asks.

"Honestly?" I say. She climbs on top of me, straddling me. I'm suddenly reminded that I'm without underwear.

"Always."

"I'm thinkin' that if we do everything right, and get the Tower and Westwood on the same side? Getting Together Gifts will become a tradition of our culture. The twenty-second of August will be known as Sophie day. Twenty-first will be ours." As I speak, her mouth gets wider and wider in a sort of tender, amazed, overwhelmed smiled.

"Wh.." she begins. "…why did you look at it like that?"

"Well," I say, reaching up to stroke her face. Her skin is so unbelieveably soft for someone who's gone through such a life. "It's probably occurred to you that when you and me kissed? It was the first time ANY of us had really kissed someone. And the first time we… had sex, it was the first time any of us in Winnipeg had. We're a new culture. If we survive, we'll be remembered forever."

She grins. "So you think we might survive."

"If we do everything right. If there are no fuck-ups," I say.

"Knock on wood," she says. I look around.

"Why is everthing in here metal?" I suddenly notice.

Just then we hear the shots outside. Their sniper in the Market bell tower is shooting at our sentries. I leap to a window. Shit. I think he just killed Diane.

"They got Diane," I shout. I turn around in time to be struck in the head with my underwear and pants as Crow zips up and clips her skirt, finding her bra.

* * *

Skidding to a stop at the main doors, I yank Crow behind a corner and out of the line of fire. Shit. I wish there had been some wood in that room.

"Where's the megaphone?" I shout.

"Upstairs!" Lisa calls from the other side of the main foyer. She motions to Kerri, a Beta, to go get it.

"Snipers!" I bark. "Michelle, Saku, Lisa, go to opposite ends of the Terminal and set up – doubletime – fifteen seconds! They have shooters on the roof, in dark windows, in the bell tower! Take them all until I call cease fire!"

They're already dashing to their respective posts as I peer back to the Market. Whoever fired the first shot…

"Cypress, here," Kerri's handing me the megaphone.

"Who fired the first shot?" I say.

"We did," she frowns.

I think for a moment.

* * *

After the shots have died down, I walk with a Beta named Y'vette out onto the cracked pavement. A few feet ahead of me, her boot crushes a shoot of grass that was brazen enough to poke through one of the tiny fissures. Michelle and Saku are behind me, both with pistols tucked into their belts.

"Y'vette here fired the first shot," I call across to the Market. A few heads poke up, and I draw the sword. "That is not aceptable."

Y'vette raises her arm at the elbow, and the sword whips out to shear it away below the joint. In a gory spray of blood it falls lifeless to the ground as Y'vette falls beside it, howling in pain. I hope she's not overdoing it.

Michelle and Saku quickly heave her up and carry her back to the Terminal, squirming and crying out.

I bend to snatch up the forearm and look to the Market.

"The ceasefire stands," I shout, and walk back into the Terminal.

Lisa's waiting for me at the entrance when I come back in.

"A little bold, don't you think?" she asks. I shake my head, and tap the severed plastic hand against the wall she's leaning on.

"Y'vette spent most of last year in the kitchens," I tell her. "This is the first field work floor three has done since she lost the arm. They have no way of knowing it wasn't kosher."

"They'll know when, if we ever get peace, her arm's already healed up."

"Yes," I nod. "But by then it won't matter, will it?"

She nods slowly as Michelle and Crow pull up the rear behind me.

"How many lost?" I say as we walk towards the old restaurant.

"Diane's nearly gone – Sophie's seeing to her. Another's wounded, but she'll be fine."

"How bad?" I jump behind the bar and whip up three shot glasses.

"She should be up and about by tomorrow," Crow says.

"How many taken?" I shoot my eyes up to Michelle.

"We hit three of them. I'm positive I killed one."

"Crow – we'll meet again in thirty minutes, alright? Go tell the other Alphas to get here doublequick."

Crow looks to question this for a moment. Looking down at the three shot glasses – one for Michelle, Lisa and myself – I suddenly realise I've pulled rank on her.

It starts.

My brow creases and I consider. Is this how it starts?

I could burn it all.

By the time I look up, Crow's on her way out and I notice I've already got the bottle of bourbon in my hand.

I pour the shots and wait for the Alphas to assemble, pouring a new shot for each as she arrives until the bottle is empty and I'm obliged to finish the rest with Sour Puss.

"Smoke 'em if you got 'em," I say. We all find cigarettes and light up. Though I suspect Saku is not lighting a cigarette.

"What's up, Boss?" she grins at me.

"Who fired the first shot?" I say quickly. "Who was it, individually?"

They all bow their heads, averting their eyes.

"The name isn't on the bar."

"Chloe."

"Chloe, from floor ten," I remember, shooting my eyes up to Nikki, one of the Alphas from floor ten. Nikki nods. "Why the fuck did a Ceta from your floor fire a single shot?"

"She says he was going to shoot. She shot him first."

"This was one shot we had for peace," I say, raising one of the small glasses. It slips from my grasp and shatters on the floor. "And now it's fucked." I turn to the others. "Who fired next?"

Soon only one glass remains intact, and my point has been thoroughly made.

"Every shot fired, is one more that breaks any potential of trust. I don't give a shit if he was going to shoot. I don't give a shit if they start pointing cannons. No one pulls a trigger. You tell everyone on your floor. You tell them every ten minutes. No one. Fires a shot." I lift the last remaining glass. "Set?" I ask as I drain it.

"Set," they all say as the empty shot glass pounds onto the bar.

I whip seven more shot glasses into my hand and onto the bar and pour another round.

"Good – two shots each'll be enough to ensure a short road to sleep." They all grin up at me as I raise a bottle of brandy.

Soon everyone's satisfied that they were able to charm me into a third round and they're packing off.

"Michelle, hang back," I say. She freezes as if her universe had gone cold for a moment, then slowly turns as Lisa places a supportive hand on her shoulder. Lisa exits with the others and Michelle takes her stool at the bar as I pour one last round.

She nervously fingers her shot as I take up mine and lean back, considering.

"So how am I doing?" I say. She stares at me blankly.

"…what?"

"Y'know… the leader thing."

"Ohhhhhhhhh." She cocks her head to the side and regards me, puzzled, before narrowing her eyes accusingly. "You're not serious."

"I was kinda' hoping you'd give an honest opinion."

"…why?"

"'Cause you have less reason than the others to be nice." I find a smoke, but my lighter eludes me. A flame bursts to life in Michelle's hands, and she leans forward to light my cigarette.

"How do you figure that?"

"Well… You an' me kinda' got something," I say. "Like we both know something. It's like a secret, but we're not sure what it is, y'know?"

She looks shocked now. Afraid, almost. But she's nodding.

"Yeah," she whispers.

"But I'm with Crow. And that gives you reason to be pissed at me. So I was hoping it would increase your honesty."

She nods, bowing her head slightly.

"You're… a great leader so far," she says.

"Truth?"

She nods.

"Truth." Looking up at me, her eyes are as uncomfortable to me as they are inviting. They speak to me of broken wordless promises and my own discontent. "Why didn't you even… give me a second chance? Why just… say it flat out – you're with Crow?"

This takes me a moment. It's a question I've considered myself, but a wordless promise to Michelle does not hold weight against a spoken oath to Crow. Plus, Michelle won't take the "Crow ran after me" bit as easily as Sophie.

"If you and I had happened," I say, "Wouldn't you want me to say I was with you, and that's it?"

"Yes," she nods. "But that's not what happened."

I raise my glass. She slowly lifts hers.

"To us," I say. "May our affection survive romance."

She manages a sort-of smile and we drink, slamming the empty glasses down in unison. I walk her out, but I swear to God, I hear something. She gives me a sly grin as she leaves for some reason, and I hang back to investigate.

First I wonder if it's a small cat mewing.

Now I hear Michelle talking to someone just outside the restaurant doors in the Terminal mall.

But I hear the cat mewing. What the fuck is that?

I weave through the pitch black family-dining establishment, and finally come upon a figure in a dark corner of the banquet hall, away from the rest of the tables.

It's not a cat.

Moaning, now. Maybe I should just leave.

But it's not two people. It's just one.

And that damned toque is quite a giveaway.

"Cypress…" she whispers.

…I didn't see her open her eyes.

And now she's crying out. She's moaning my name, her hand performing unseen miracles in the depths of her baggy sk8ter pants. Her little hips bucking – her mouth slack in pleasure – her eyes open, but not seeing.

I can hear someone else talking in the background. Sounds like a hushed argument.

"…Css… Cypress?" Sophie says – her lips pale – her eyes only half open. "Oh my God!" she shrieks, jerking her hand from her pants. "OhmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod – tell me you didn't see anything!"

She's gathering herself to her feet.

"No, nothing," I say.

She stares at me, long and hard. Her sharp green eyes narrow.

"Really?"

"…what're you doing on the floor?"

It's easier this way.

She breathes a long sigh of relief and steps forward, giving me a quick hug. But as she leans back from it she pauses a little too long. She lingers. And our lips pass within striking distance.

And we're both there.

We both could.

I kiss her forehead and she slides down, smiling.

"So… what were you doing in the restaurant?" I ask as we step out of the banquet hall into the restaurant.

"There's nowhere else to sleep," she yawns. I grin and put an arm around her, and she gives a little sqeak. Sophie is so goddamn cute.

"Well, go curl up with someone – stay warm at least."

I send her off down the upstairs hallway, but she stops after twenty or so paces and turns.

"Cypress," she whispers. She comes tiptoe-scampering back to me, and stops so she's staring almost straight up into my eyes.

She's so goddamn cute.

"Don't tell anyone about what you saw, huh?"

"I won't," I say.

"Pinkie promise?" she says, holding up her little digit.