Snatched Away Ch. 01.1

Sorry all, no sex in this one, but it's a lead up to the next chapter and expands on character's motivations from the first. I think you will like reading this chapter before you read the next one.

If you haven't read CH.01 I'd suggest starting there -- it will clarify things and make this and the next chapter more enjoyable......

Cheers!

********

Drowsily I open my eyes and start to come back to consciousness. It dawns on me that I'm surrounded by warm water and can feel the rise and fall of Jake's chest throughout my body as he breaths. I move my face from side to side to clear my head and see that I've been leaned back against his body as we both recline in the large tub in my bathroom. It's comforting in a way that I hadn't yet felt with Jake; belatedly I realize I'm a bit unnerved by that feeling.

"Hey there," he says behind my right ear. "I'm glad to see that you're finally awake. For a moment I thought that you were going to sleep right through this whole bath." His chuckle permeates through my back due to our contact. That relaxed, natural skin to skin contact is also comforting and thus unnerving.

What is going on with me? I start to think as my brain catches up to the emotions I'm feeling. My brain must have been fucked loose. Is the only sarcastic excuse that I could come up with in my head.

I start to drift off again, so I loll my head again from left to right not sure if I should be thinking quite yet and not sure what I should even be thinking.

I knew that plain and simple I was exhausted -- in more ways than just physically. I'd been here now for weeks fighting to keep my sanity amidst this insane new reality and on edge about what each day would bring.

I also knew that a sense of deep release had occurred right after our last sexual encounter that had ended in me sobbing. Taking advantage of my exhaustion, Jake had been able to broach one of my barriers -- and I didn't like it at all.

"That turned into something really quite lovely, you know?" He said and kissed lightly under my right ear. I wasn't sure what he meant. What was exactly 'lovely'? My terror when he cut off my dress? Him tying me up and using both my holes with dildos? Being forced to give him a blow job? My mind raced on and on through the actions of a few hours ago and in the process becoming more and more tense.

"The part when you were riding me willingly and calling my name, Geo." Jake clarified, as if he knew all the deep dark holes my mind was wandering down. With that my self-loathing come back full swing and I sunk deeper into the tub in hopes of a worm hole opening and saving me from my terrible choices and deep embarrassment. There was no way now I was ever going to be able to convince him that I didn't like what he did to my body and there was becoming less ability for me to convince myself of the fact either.

"You know," he starts nonchalantly as he begins to soap up a loofah. "Have you ever thought about just ditching all the baggage that you bring to sex and instead simply enjoying the fact that you like certain things - even if they aren't considered typically 'feminist'?"

At this comment I jolt up right from my submersion in the tub and whip around to look at him.

What the what? My brain does a double take. I'm wide awake now. He simply starts to suds up my back with the loofah.

"What, you think that I don't get that half of your torment is self-inflicted guilt about your body liking something that your brain is telling you not to like?" At this point I'm sure I'm giving him pretty good side eye with a heavy dose of incongruity; he chuckles and continues.

"I may be a Jar Head, but I'm not an idiot. I've said it before Geo, and I'll say it again, I want to give you pleasure not pain. Why can't you let your brain accept the pleasure your body already has?"

There's so much argument to brook with those statements that at first, I'm mute with the endless possibilities of where to start. Eventually I decide to start with the low hanging fruit.

"And what if a life purely of physical pleasure that's dictated by someone else isn't enough?" I ask. He keeps trying to turn me so that he can studs the other side of my back. I'm not turning. I want to see his face as he answers this.

"It's not, of course." He states obviously. My jaw drops.

What the hell have we been doing here than. It's been his carnal pleasure to my pain since I got here! I rail in my head.

He's making my brain run in circles chasing his statements with the myriad of possible responses and possible arguments. His statements seem to go against the pure facts of what I've been made to do since I got here.

"Our lives here were never meant to be purely about physical pleasure or about forcing each other to comply. I've tried to show you that when I took you around the compound. We try to let go of the puritan notions of sex and marriage that the above world is hell-bent on enforcing, but we also are trying to create a totally new world down here. One, that when it outlasts what happens above, will emerge better than what was wiped out."

Sighing and realizing that I am never going to turn around so that he can scrub the other side of my back, he gives up and starts cleaning his own chest and arms with the loofa.

I'm dumb founded and speechless. I honestly do.not.know.what.to.say. I can only stare as he continues to scrub him self down.

He looks up at me and smiles broadly from my stare and gaping mouth. I click my jaw shut.

"I know that this probably is not the life you thought you would ever be living, but since you are here now, and nothing is changing until the Doctor says so, why don't you try to see if you can come around to it a bit?"

A deep Scream erupts in my head -- that is honestly the only argument that I can coherently make to that comment. I'm just staring at him as he gets up from the tub to dry off, still speechless. He leans down and gives me a last kiss on the cheek.

"I'll come and get you around 9:00am tomorrow. Sleep in a bit and relax."

I can hear him in the bedroom getting dressed and eventually I hear the door close behind him and lock. I've been completely immobilized by churning over his comments endless in my brain.

I finally let myself sink down into the tub again ruminating on what it actually would mean for me to be here and try to enjoy my situation. It's unfathomable to even think about. My thoughts don't get me far and eventually I just get up and slink off to the oblivion that sleep brings.

********

My alarm wakes me up around 8:45am - Leave it to Jake to properly set my alarm for me before he left. I think as my arm swings and aims for the turn off button.

I'm still in bed 15 minutes later when he enters with a tray of breakfast - the delicious aroma of bacon fills the air. I crack open an eye and he comes over to sit on the bed with the tray. Picking up a piece of fatty bacon I realize that I'm starving and it's hard not to be appreciative of the 'breakfast in bed' treatment I'm getting.

Don't get used to it, I think. Munching away waiting for the next shoe to drop.

He picks up a piece of bacon too and for a brief moment it feels just like two normal lovers sharing a quiet morning together in bed.

"So, since it's a weekend I figured that we could do something different for a change." He says.

The moment of normalcy is over, and I instantly become wary of what this new 'something different' could be. The other shoe is falling....

"Geo," he looks at me with glance that says -- give me a break already -- "I'm suggesting we spend some time with other people in the compound. On most weekends in the summer it's so hot here everyone goes to the local swimming hole. Would you like that?"

He knows that I would like that. Anything to get out of this room and outside I would like, plus the more time I spend outside the more chances I get to actually figure out where I am. I give him a smile, that I hope looks genuine, and he responses with a smile back --

I think, there's no denying that he has a nice smile. My brain skidders to a stop after that last thought.

Oh my god, my Stockholm syndrome is starting to run deep. And I cringe internally.

"Ok then, lets finish up breakfast and head out."

"Ummm, do I have a bathing suit in this closest?" I hadn't seen one yet -- a girl could be hopeful.

"You won't need one," he says continuing to smile, but with a glint of wry glee in his eyes. "We all go without them." And the other shoe has finally dropped.

Uggg, of COURSE no one here would be bothered to wear swimming suits since they are all SO much better than what the rest of society does in 'The Above'. I drawl in my head.

Not wanting to let him know he's gotten the upper hand I shrug and continue to eat.

Well, what's being naked in front of a mass of total strangers if I get to go outside for a while? It's not like I never went to nude beaches back before I got here, it will be just the same. I know it won't be the same, but I'm trying to psyche myself up to the challenge. After last night I feel that Jake is closer to me than makes me any where near comfortable. He's under my skin and he knows it - any edge he thinks he has on me I need to be extra careful to subvert. In order to try to take back some control I don't want to let any of them see me squirm.

We finish up the rest of breakfast in silence and grab some towels to go.

********

We are walking to the big door that I now think of as "The Outside". When you're in captivity and don't get to go outside much - going outside becomes "The Outside" in capital letters.

Jake puts in his code and the door starts to slowly grind open. It's a bit of a misnomer to call it simply a 'door'. A 'door' is hinged wooden panel that you can easily use each day in your house, this is more akin to a heavy timber and metal gate that once were used in fortified cities. It's been explained to me that it's not meant to keep us in, but to keep the others out.

Rays of sunlight start to encroach across the threshold as the opening to the outside becomes larger and larger, eventually we step through into the sun.

God damn, I think, he's right - it's balls hot out here!

It's easily 120 degrees with no humidity and both of us instantly start to sweat standing in the blazing sun. My normally olive tone skin is extremely pale from being inside for so long and I know that I'm going to crisp up in this sunlight quickly.

Jake takes off down a gravel path and I follow. God knows where this "swimming hole" is. I know that we are at least in a desert due to the heat and all the sage brush, but I've known that much for months now. Down the gravel path a bit more we branch away from the cluster of compound buildings and start to move into the center of the caldera. It's completely flat, except for the low-lying bushes, and you can see all around the interior of the caldera quite easily. A feeling of unease starts to grow, and I wonder if somehow this is a trick. I don't have any supplies with me, nor do I know how to survive in this type of climate if I'm left out here. And I only brought one thermos of water for the day. It's impossible to get lost in this flatness, but it's not impossible to die from exposure.

We keep walking and while the terrain never changes I think I start to hear sounds of human conversation, but it's garbled, over lapping, and strangely amplified. The sounds become more and more intense and resonant until we get to their source, which is a large hole in the ground. Steps have been cut into the sides of the rock and lead into what appears to be a completely dark center. I peer in, but now can easily hear sounds of splashing, people talking, and having an enjoyable time. I look up at Jake quizzically.

"Is this sort of like a step well?" I ask. Never having seen one in person, nor knew that they existed in the USA.

He smiles back, "Exactly. I guess I shouldn't have expected to try to teach an architect a thing or two about manmade-forms." He winks and starts to descend the stairs.

When he's nice and smart it really creeps me out, I think. I know he's not ignorant and it's a crutch for me to ever believe the act that he is. It's very disarming when he lets out his kind, thoughtful persona and he knows it.

I better keep a check on that trick, I think as I follow him down the stairway.

Below are around 50 people in various states of enjoyment. Some lounging on the ground smooth stone floor, others swimming and splashing in the extremely large pools, some reading, even some napping. It's an extremely normal tableau of everyday people, doing fun everyday things, at a slightly more than normal pool -- not quite what I was expecting. Once out of the sun, and with the added moisture and coolness from the water, the enclosed step well is an extremely pleasant place to be. We walk over to a free corner and lay down some towels.

The roof and walls of the step well are roughhewn rock, but the floors are ground smooth and so are the bathing pools. There are also simple geometric benches cut directly out of the walls that have been smoothed and shaped to contour to people's reclining bodies.

"This can't have been here when you arrived." I'm still looking around and trying to take it all in, including all the people.

"No, this was dreamt up by one of our engineers. It was sort of his pet project. One of the reasons we chose this place was because of the deep natural aquifer. This existed as a minor cave when we first came, but we did have to expand it greatly and drill down to the waterline below to make it what you see now. We've been slowly adding more bathing pools and more lounge areas as time goes on." He's back to tour guide mode. He's almost at the point of waving his arms around and saying, 'this all could be yours simply for the price of your capitulation.'

I harrumph at his explanation and sit on my towel. He knows I'm impressed, but I'm not ready to show him that he has taken me some where that actually interests me. Stubbornness has always been one of the few tools in my arsenal here.

"Well you can stay here, but I'm going to go for a swim." With that he starts to strip off his clothes. I start to look away, but, Hell's, I think, it's not like I haven't seen him naked. So, I purposefully look back at him.

Intellectually, I can be honest with myself, Jake is a very attractive man. If he was an ignorant loathsome creature I could just purely hate him for what he's done to my life, but he's not. He's tall, broad shouldered, with light chocolate skin, full lips, and incredible green eyes. Just the sort of man I would have found attractive in my normal life -- which is exactly part of the problem.

This is just me assessing my opponent, I think. Nothing more. But I know that's not the truth and there's no denying that. To play the long game, and win, I need to be fully honest with myself, because ignoring my purely physical attraction to his body would be ignoring one of my opponent's greatest weapons. And when he doles out his intellect, looking like he does, it's easy to become disarmed. He's not just the simple 'Jar Head' that he wants you to believe.

He looks back at me and sees me staring at his now naked body. My eyes are partially squinted, and I clearly have a face that shows the gears turning in my head. He leans down in front of me, muscles rippling along his lithe athletic body as he does.

"You look like a predator stalking prey." He says into my face. I'm startled by his words and look up into his eyes. "Too bad you're a kitten and I'm a lion." He whispers and is up walking over to the nearest pool and plunges in.

His arrogant male-ness is beyond obnoxious. I spent years of my professional life in a male dominated field, I really hate that 'all knowing bullshit' in my personal life. Unfortunately, I realize sourly, I don't have a professional life any more -- I don't really have a life any more that is outside of what Jake wants me to see, do, and experience.

Bereft, I've never really let myself mourn the death of my life before. When alone I assiduously steer my mind away from the deep dark rabbit hole that is the despair and sadness of my situation. But right now, I let it rid through me, unable to keep it at bay in the tumult of the internal changes that have started to happen. I'm losing my grip on what it means to be me.

I know I shouldn't let myself think these thoughts, because any amount of despair is a small part of me giving up, but I can't help it right now. Not after what happened last night. I lean my head back against the rock wall and close my eyes to keep from crying.

Eventually I feel a wet dripping occur on my legs and I just know that Jake is standing over me.

"Are you just going to stay in this corner all day? I didn't bring you here to sulk." He says, standing over me naked and gleaming with water.

"Don't I get to feel however the hell I want as long as I am doing whatever hell you want me to do." I bite back not opening my eyes.

He cocks an eye brow and looking down at me with crossed arms he says, "You know I could have just left you in the room all day. I didn't have to bring you here."

I bristle knowing that he's right, he doesn't really have to do anything kind or thoughtful towards me. Even this small little thing today was still a gift, an allowance from him. Any small amount of joy from being outside is starting to seep and run out of me --

There's no way to win this, is there? I think sourly.

He quickly snatches my wrist hauling me up and over his shoulders.

"Jake!" I scream at him. He starts walking over to the nearest pool and unceremoniously drops me in - dress and all. I flounder completely shocked and then gain my senses to swim up and through the surface.

"What the fuck" I spout at him while treading water, the dress's fabric is holding me down and making it hard for me to keep at the surface well.

"You seem to only want to do things when I make you, so I am making you swim. You also might as well take off your dress, since it's only going to make it harder for you to swim." He says matter of fact with his arms crossed and a seriously annoyed look on his face. I start to breast stroke to the edge and pull myself out. He just pushes me back in.

"Jake what the hell!" I sputter once I make it back to the surface.

"I told you," he replies, "I'm making you swim." I try to clamber out of the pool a few more unsuccessful times and eventually give up and start to swim away to the other side. Our tussle has drawn more than a few curious stares from others, and while I'm not above 'making a scene', I don't really feel like having any more attention than necessary right now. I start to swim as far away from Jake as the pools will let me.

Once I get going, and really start to swim, I do realize that it's enjoyable. I missed the water, after growing up by the beach my whole life and I've also missed being able to do anything with my body that doesn't involved Jake touching me or him telling me what to do. This false sense of freedom is nice, but it's the closest I've come to having any in a while -- so I'll take it.

I spend the rest of the day swimming in the far reaches of the pool, using the time to collect my broken pieces and start to reassemble myself.

I can't slip up like I did last night -- I need my mind to be strong and completely disconnected from my body.

This internal bifurcation needs to be cemented in place so that when my moment comes I will be ready. I slowly start to reassemble my armor and by the time Jake is standing by the end of the pool beckoning me to come out, I'm ready.