Sod's Law Pt. 01

"So?" I said, affecting lack of interest in Helen's choice of a weekend companion, though in actual fact my spirits plummeted, and I felt despair.

I knew now she had shown interest in me and I was disappointed that she would be so mercenary as to give herself to Harry instead, especially as she was supposedly so committed to her degree course.

What's more she had a boyfriend, no matter how casual he might have been. Once more my face gave me away. Thankfully I have never learned to play poker.

"Don't be so disingenuous Dave," Imogen reprimanded me. "We know you two are attracted to each other. You've never reacted to any other woman since Susan as you have to her.

"Come on, admit it, you do fancy her, and you're upset she's gone with Harry, who we all know will use her for a while and than dump her. We can see it in your face, my love."

In my desolation I nevertheless tried to salvage something from that defeat.

"I think I've said it before, office affairs and affairs between flat sharers are a bad idea, because of what happens when the couple break up. It's probably a blessing in disguise." I didn't believe a word I said.

"But-" from Kim.

"Yes, Kim, I do like her a lot, but some things are just not meant to be, and I do believe what I say about relationships between people living in the same house.

"She's got, or perhaps had, a steady boyfriend. If she's fallen for Harry, good luck to her because, though even if I might find her attractive, I'm certainly not running after her, or picking up the pieces after Harry dumps her. In any case, I'm not convinced that even if we got together, that would be a good idea."

"David, in general I agree that house relationships are not a good idea," said Imogen. "Let's face it, we avoid them ourselves, but I think that sometimes the relationship supersedes that rule. When I saw you with Helen I thought there was something special going on that I don't think either of you are fully aware of. We'll say no more, OK?"

"Except to say we only want you to be happy, and Helen seemed a good prospect," added Kim, ever the optimistic matchmaker.

"I don't know! You women and your match-making," I said with a smile. "Helen Metcalfe has a boyfriend, maybe two if she's with Harry now. I have no intention of being number three, so can we put this finally to bed and get on with living in the real world? I'm twenty-three years old: plenty of time to settle down. There are several lovely women here, who look after my best interests and are a lot of fun, so I'm very happy as I am thank you."

The two women smiled broadly at me.

"It's not that we want you to settle down, you know," said Kim. "We just think it'd do you good to have a girlfriend every now and then, you know, a bit of one on one fun in your life."

"I have you two girls living with me," I said with my mischievous grin. "You're about as much fun as I can cope with."

The two snorted with disbelief, rose from the table and went to the sink to wash up, Kim taking my mug and re-filling it with tea, brought it back to me. Those shorts didn't hide a lot. I was right, having them around was enough for me!

"See?" I said laughing, "A beautiful woman brings me tea without my even asking. What more could I want?"

"If you don't know what more there is to having a woman around than bringing you tea," said Kim, "you really are in a bad way. Come on, Imogen, it's about time we showered and left this lonely bachelor to his solitary woe."

With that they left me to wash my breakfast bowl and take my tea back to my room to have my own shower and get dressed.

I wondered if my lack of interest in finding a girlfriend was precisely because life was so comfortable with the three women living in the house. They all took an almost motherly interest in me and did look after me in various ways, while staying well clear of anything sexual or even too affectionate.

And they were all so good looking in totally different ways! Life was good, I tried to tell himself, but thoughts of Helen were never far away and left me vaguely uncomfortable and wondering. In fact, I did feel cheated.

Murray knocked on my door after dinner on Sunday evening, was invited to come in and sit down on one of my two armchairs.

"I know my lease runs out on July 31st," he said, after being offered and accepting a beer. "But I will actually be moving on Friday June 17th: my new job in London starts on the 20th. Elsa and I have taken out an exorbitant mortgage on a flat down there, and in fact we'll be furnishing it over the three weeks prior to leaving, so you won't be seeing much of us from the beginning of June onwards."

"I assume this concerns Helen Metcalfe?"

"You're ahead of me, Dave. It seems that she and her flatmates are ending their lease at the end of June since the university will have gone down by then and all the end of term parties will be well finished."

"So she would like to move in from the beginning of July instead of the beginning of August?"

"Yes. She's got a summer work placement with a law firm in London for most of July, August and early September, so she wants to get herself settled in here ready for next term before she goes south. Moving in at the beginning of July is ideal for her. The question is, how do we arrange this?"

"Easy. She's already paid her deposit, so she can move in on July 1st, or earlier if you've no objection. You're leaving on 17th June, which gives me time to get the cleaners in and sort out the refund of your deposit. If you want it, I can give you a written assurance that you will not be liable for any charges after the 17th.

"If she were desperate, she could move in on the 19th. It would be a push to get the room ready, but it's been done before.

"Fine," Murray agreed. "I'll let her know."

I had an idea. "It seems she was expecting to see me on Friday. Could you apologise to her and say I was unavoidably delayed after an urgent appointment that day. No doubt we'll see her on the 1st of July."

"Oh Aye," said Murray, his Scottish accent seeping out. "Now you mention it she did ask if you were at home. She seemed disappointed you weren't here. But don't worry laddie, Harry invited her out for a drink I think, so I'm sure she'll have been well entertained."

"Of that I have no doubt," I replied significantly. "I did hear as much from Imogen."

"Och, we all ken Harry!"

"We do indeed Murray!"

I resigned himself to no longer having any chance of a relationship with Helen, which saddened me, and nothing further was heard from her in the succeeding weeks. I assumed that she had achieved her purpose and would arrive on the date specified.

It seemed the girls were wrong and she had no real interest in me. I would have the same relationship with her as I had with the other women in the house, indeed with all the residents. Somehow that gave me no sense of relief at all.

For me, life returned to its normal routine. I was in fact offered a position with Jordan and Abrahams and I endured the congratulations of the other residents of the house. I had to take them out for a meal! Harry missed it: he was out womanising as usual, possibly with Helen.

On Tuesday the 14th of June, I was looking out of the window on a calm sunny evening, and feeling comfortable that the savage thunderstorms of the previous week were gone. I still shivered as I remembered the size of the hailstones, almost as big as golf balls only the previous Tuesday. The sun cheered me up, and I felt a sense of peace.

I should have known better. Outside my room somewhere in the house, I could hear voices raised in anger. A woman was berating a man. I wondered idly who had upset whom. One thing I knew, I would keep well clear. I was so wrong!

After a perfunctory knock at the door and my invitation, Nuala burst in.

"That man!" she snarled. "You will not believe this!"

I wondered fleetingly if Murray had upset her. He was leaving on the Friday and he and Elsa had been moving personal stuff down to the post-room where, to be fair, it was getting in the way. Nuala rapidly disposed of that idea.

"Sure I can't believe he's said nothing all this time, and isn't the amadán saying he doesn't know what the problem is!"

"Amadán? And the problem? And who are you-"

"Eejit! - not you - him! Harry!"

I started laughing at her outraged expression. "Nuala calm down! You get all Irish on us when you're worked up! We all know Harry is renowned for doing strange and stupid things, usually with women. What's so special about this time? What's he done now?"

"Weren't we collecting our post and falling over all Murray's stuff just now? Then Murray's stuff reminded me that Helen was moving in soon, so I says to him, 'How's things with Helen?'

"He looks puzzled. 'How should I know?' he says.

" 'You were going out with her' I tell him.

" 'Nah,' he says. 'Only the once. She'd not eaten, so we went for a meal - you know me, top class restaurant.' And he grins, the bonehead.

" 'Go on!' says I, encouraging him.

" 'What?' says he. Holy Mother of God the man is thicker than our floorboards!

(I should point our that Georgian floorboards are much thicker than present day flooring, though I don't think Nuala knew that)!

Nuala was continuing her diatribe. " 'Why only the once?' I ask him, patiently like. As well get blood out of a stone!

" 'Never stopped talking about Evans,' he says. 'Was he going with anyone? Did I know why he hadn't turned up? Then going on about how 'lovely' he was. Then asked me if he was avoiding her. So I told her straight.'

"Then he said it, the bloody eejit."

I cocked an eyebrow. Nuala is so entertaining when she's telling a tale, more so when she's annoyed.

"He said, 'I told her David is a bit of a stuffed shirt, typical lawyer,' he says and he grins as if it was clever. 'I told her he's not interested in girls, and he's dead strong against housemates having relationships with each other. That shut her up. Bloody miserable she was for the rest of the meal. Took her back to her place and left her. Not seen her since.' "

She stopped as if waiting for my outraged response.

"So the shouting match...?" I asked affecting ingenuousness.

"Didn't I tell him? Didn't I ask him if it might have crossed his tiny mind to tell you about that conversation? Can you believe that man? He couldn't understand why he should, since he knew you weren't interested in her. The arrogance of it! I said wasn't that up to you. And d'you know what he said, the bastard?" She paused in her diatribe.

"What did he say. Nuala?" I asked doggedly.

"If she wasn't interested in him, Harry, she certainly wouldn't be interested in you. I mean, how thick, conceited and pig-headed is that? I told him that her asking about you should have been a tiny clue that she was interested in you.

"What was the point, he asked, since he knew you weren't interested in her.

"I lost it, David, so I did! I shouted at him-"

I laughed loudly, and she looked shocked at my response.

"Nuala, darling," I giggled. "From what I heard, the shouting began a little earlier!"

I think she had the grace to grin at that.

"OK, clever clogs!" she continued. "I shouted louder. I told him that a good friend would have told you just in case - and here I was sarcastic, I admit," she said with a wider grin. " - just in case you went against all your principles and wanted to know her better as well." She paused looking a little uncertain for a brief moment. "You do, don't you?"

"I do what?" I'm sorry, I couldn't help needling her.

She exhaled loudly. "Aren't all you men thick as tree-trunks! Don't - You - Want - To - Know - Her - Better?"

"Yes, Nuala, if it makes you feel better."

"What d'you mean?"

"What I said."

"Please David!"

"OK. Look, you three women, and I wouldn't put it past Elsa as well, seem dead set on pushing Helen and me together. Since Harry took her out, life for me has been wonderfully peaceful; the heat's been off me.

"Now? I assume the female match-machine will be cranked up again and my life will be hell until I've taken her out and she's dumped me as a (to use Harry's expression) 'stuffed shirt'. So yes, I want to know her better - as a housemate! There! Good enough?"

Nuala had, by now, calmed down. "Not quite good enough, David. If you take her out, we women know romance will blossom, so it will. Now, will you have some tea?"

"Please, Nuala, that would be so nice."

No sooner had Nuala left the room, than Harry entered it. I could have sworn they passed each other in the doorway.

"Hey, mate, I'm sorry!" he began without further introduction. "I'd no idea you were interested in Helen. I wouldn't have hit on her if I'd known. I didn't know she was already sweet on you."

"Harry, don't fall for these women's preoccupation with getting me married off. Say nothing to the coven, but there is something about her that I can't put my finger on-"

"Dave, it's been too long since you had a woman if you don't know where to put your finger and other bits of you!" and he gave a dirty laugh. I joined in, if anything dirtier still. All men together!

"I think I can remember, Harry, and if I forget, there's books to help me!"

"Books are fine, but you need fingers-on experience. Fancy coming out with me one night?"

"Thanks, Harry, but I didn't know you were into men?"

"You know what I mean. I can set you up with a friendly woman."

"Harry, really I think your lifestyle is a bit much for me!"

Harry guffawed. "Probably right," he laughed. "Do it your own way."

"I intend to, all in good time. I've had to work at getting a position in a really good law firm and it took a lot of intense effort. Things will be better now, more relaxed."

"You got the job?"

"Yep! And at the law firm I'm with at the moment. Of course, you missed our little celebration."

"Well, cheers old son! That calls for a drink - only a drink, got to keep your celibacy intact till you're ripe for the plucking."

"Ripe for a word that rhymes with it, I would have thought."

"You're too quick for me," Harry muttered with a chuckle. "Not like you to use coarse language."

"If you noticed, I didn't actually use the word."

"You lawyers and nit-picking with the evidence!" Harry paused, then "Are we OK, David?"

"Yeah, Harry, we're OK. And I'll take you up on that drink, but not tonight."

Harry left, and Nuala brought me my tea.

"Harry been to see you?" she asked.

"Yes. He apologised and we're best mates, so be nice to him, you hear?"

"Yes, sir!"

While it seemed to me that everything had been smoothed out as far as Harry and Nuala were concerned, it rekindled my preoccupation with thoughts of Helen. I had not forgotten her, but now she had become relevant again thanks to Nuala and Harry. Hope began to grow.

On Thursday the Sixteenth of June, the whole house had a farewell meal in the formal dining room for Murray and Elsa, and then we all went out for a drink. It was the day before the couple were to leave. By Thursday evening everything of theirs had gone, apart from what they needed for the night and morning, and their room looked very empty and a good deal larger as a result.

I thought to myself how well our housemates got on together, though there was friction from time to time, witness the fracas on the previous Tuesday, but the aim of Aaron Jordan to have a house where, after he and his wife had left it, people lived in harmony, seemed to be being achieved and I hoped the old man's ghost would be pleased.

On Friday at work I commissioned the cleaning company to give the room a going over, and made the appointment for Monday morning. I also booked some official time from work on the Monday to be there while they did it. It turned out to be a little premature since Helen would decide to paint the place.

On Monday afternoon, after the cleaners had finished and I had signed the job off as done, I penned a note to Helen, telling her that the room was ready and that she was welcome to move her things in the interim before the beginning of July. I put the front door and room keys into the envelope and sealed it.

I felt excited as I drove to her address that evening, and a little apprehensive as I rang the doorbell. It was opened at length by a tall red-haired young woman with a freckled face and pale skin. Her face was pretty and she had a statuesque figure, perfectly proportioned but ample.

"Hello!" she greeted me cheerfully, and then waited with an enquiring expression.

"Hello," I returned. "Would Helen Metcalfe be at home?"

"Sorry!" she said glibly. "She's out for the night with her boyfriend. Probably back sometime tomorrow. University is finished for the summer, you know."

I felt that well-known sinking feeling at the news, but smiled and held out the envelope.

"Could you make sure she gets this, please?" I asked. "It's important."

"No problem!" the cheerful girl answered. "You've come just in time: she's leaving at the end of the month, joining some sort of hippy commune."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call it that," I chuckled. "It's simply a shared house, rather like this one I suppose, but on a larger scale."

"Oh, are you from there?" Now she looked interested.

"Yes. It's a large house with eight residents, each with his or her own en suite room. There's no landlord as such, the residents run the house and the building is held in a trust for repairs and things like that."

"So no free love or orgies or anything like that?" she said with a wicked grin.

"Sorry to disappoint you," I said. "The only things we share are the cooking and cleaning!"

"Aw, so disappointing!" she laughed. "I thought our prim and proper Miss Helen was going off the rails at last!"

"If she wants to go off the rails, I'm sure she's more than capable, but not I think with our residents."

"Oh, from what she said, she's got her eye on one of them, but she thinks he's not interested in her. She thinks he's avoiding her. Quite unhappy about it, she is."

"You say she's out with her boyfriend. Doesn't he come into the mix?"

"Actually, I think this is a farewell date. I know he's got a job in Germany somewhere - graduated just now. She was saying she couldn't see them lasting as a couple, so better to end it amicably. Anyway, she's never been as star-struck by Ged as she has by... Now what was he called?"

"Harry?" I suggested, hoping fervently I was wrong.

"No, no. what was it? I know! David! I know because we ragged her about him. You must know him?"

"Oh yes, I know him well."

"Perhaps they'll get together?"

"Who knows?" I said affecting diffidence, while my spirits surged. "However, it doesn't usually happen for residents to get involved with each other - causes discomfort if they break up and are stuck in the same house. You will make sure she gets that, won't you?" I said, nodding at the letter in her hand.

On her assurance, I took my leave and with a spring in my step which had not been there when I had arrived, went back to my car and drove home. All the way I reprised the girl's comments. Helen was star-struck on me? Ged the boyfriend was leaving and they were breaking up?

The trees looked greener, and flowers brighter and the sky - well, unfortunately grey, but even the grey looked friendlier!

I shrugged, Can't have everything! I thought with a smile at my own romanticism.

to be continued